Forever Fantasy Online (FFO Book 1)

by Rachel Aaron

  Zen didn’t look surprised by that at all, but everyone else erupted.

  “We can’t!”

  “We’re killing Grel for food? That’s bullshit!”

  “Did she have a sign? ‘Will raid for food?’”

  “We’re going to die!”

  “We’re not going to die, and we’re not killing him for cheap!” Tina said fiercely, raising her voice over the din. “The Order can’t kill Grel. We can. I used that as leverage to get our stuff back, plus food, ammo, and a portal to Bastion once this is over. That’s everything we came here to get in the first place.”

  “Except it’s suicide,” ZeroDarkness called out. “You death-marched us here running away from Grel’Darm! You think getting a few loaves of bread makes it okay to draft us all into a new guild that you’ve already signed up for an unwinnable fight?”

  There was lots of angry muttering at that, and Tina banged her gauntlets together for silence.

  “Chill out!” she boomed. “I haven’t drafted anyone for anything! The commander hired the guild, not you personally. I’m not going to make anyone fight if they don’t want to. As I already said multiple times, anyone who wants to go is free to leave.”

  “But we already got paid!” NekoBaby said. “What are we supposed to do if we want to bail? Cough the fish back up?”

  “The food is free,” Tina said with a wry smile. “Think of it as part of my apology. The same goes for your weapons. But the rest of the contract stands, and I’ll fight Grel’Darm alone if I have to in order to honor it. The Roughnecks can be a guild of one if that’s what it takes. Once I engage the enemy, the rest of you can take what’s left in this cart and run for the Verdancy while the Order deals with the undead.”

  “Hold up,” Neko said, cat eyes wide. “So you’re saying you’ll go out there and die alone if no one joins your guild? Like, for serious?”

  “For serious,” Tina said firmly. “You didn’t have a choice when this started. Out there, it was stick together or die. But despite what some people have said, I’m not a dictator, and I’m done kicking people down roads. If you want to go, then go, but for what it’s worth, I still think everyone’s chances are much better if we stay here and work together. This world is full of unknowns, but I’ve beaten Grel’Darm lots of times. All we have to do is beat his ass once more, and we’ll go from hated outcasts to…well, probably not heroes, but at least we’ll get some respect. I’ll take that over slogging through a swamp any day, but that’s my choice. I’m not forcing anyone to make it with me.”

  “Roxxy…” SilentBlayde whispered, his eyes terrified above his mask, but Tina held up her hand.

  “Anyone who wants to stay and fight as one of the new Roughnecks can sign up now,” she said, placing Garrond’s contract, plus the quill and ink she’d nabbed from the quartermaster, down on the wagon beside her. “You’ll get a share of any earnings or spoils just as you would in a raiding guild. Before you decide, though, let me say one more thing.”

  The raid looked at her curiously, and Tina flashed them a cocky grin.

  “This isn’t going to be like it was on the hill. I have a plan to kill Grel’Darm. Long story short, we’re gonna cheat, cause this isn’t a game anymore, and I don’t mean to play by the rules. So if you want some payback for last night, sign up and help me take the bastard down. If not, good group and happy trails. See ya around.”

  With that, Tina hopped off the cart and walked away. The urge to keep talking until they were all convinced was overwhelming, but she kept her mouth stubbornly shut. She was done forcing people to pull their weight. From here out, if someone was fighting at her side, it was going to be because they wanted to. She’d given them the information. Now it was up to them to decide, so Tina forced herself to sit down and wait, stopping her mouth with another magical rock as she watched the others deliberate.

  They were still talking when SilentBlayde came over.

  “Damn it, Tina,” he whispered, thumping down on the crate beside her. “Why’d you have to do it this way?”

  “It was the only way to make new options,” she replied with a shrug. “I’m not going to let everyone die when I can do something to stop it.”

  “But why this?” he hissed, clenching his gloved hands. “Why did you have to pick the one path that puts you in front of that monster?”

  “I’m a tank,” she said, doing her best to sound confident. “Being in front of the monster is what I do. And for the record, I think we can beat him.”

  “Not if everyone abandons you!”

  “It won’t be that bad,” she said flippantly. “Even if half the raid turns me down, we’ve still got a whole fortress full of possibilities. I’ll figure it out.”

  “You’re betting your life on an unknown,” he snapped, glaring at her over his mask. “You can’t beat Grel without a raid, and you just gave everyone a free pass to turn their backs on you!”

  His vehemence made Tina jerk.

  “Dude, I had to,” she said, taken aback. “We were cornered, and this was the only way to get the raid out alive. But I had to give people a choice, or I really would be what Kuro says.”

  SB turned away, and Tina’s copper brows pulled into a scowl.

  “What is with you?” she asked. “Why are you so mad at me?”

  “I’m not mad at you,” he snapped. “I love—” He stopped, leaving the breath frozen in Tina’s throat. “I love how brave you are,” he finished a second later. “You’re fearless and heroic and everything a leader should be, and I’m mad because someone like you shouldn’t have to die saving a bunch of cowardly ingrates.”

  He shot a venomous look at KuroKawaii, and Tina exhaled with a smile.

  “Thank you,” she said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “But I’m not planning to die, you know. It’s just Grel. We kill him every week.”

  “Sure, back when we were a proper raiding guild,” SB said tensely. “Back when we had fifty people who knew what they were doing and could follow instructions. But I don’t know how we’re going to survive this if the whole group doesn’t come, and I’m not enough to save you from Grel’Darm by myself!”

  His voice was shaking by the time he finished, so Tina turned and leaned over, bending down until her forehead was resting on the top of his helmet.

  “Thank you for always having my back,” she whispered. “We wouldn’t be standing here right now if not for all the times you filled in for my failures, but I need you to trust me. We can do this. I promise.”

  He looked up at her, his blue eyes full of so many tangled emotions, Tina couldn’t pick them apart. She’d never actually seen his eyes this close before. Sitting as they were, side by side on the boxes with her head resting on his, there was only an inch of air between their faces, closer than they’d ever been.

  Tina’s heart started to pound. SB must have noticed their position at the same time, because whatever he’d been about to say slipped off his tongue as their physical proximity took over the conversation. Breath quickening, Tina couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to get even closer. Her eyes dropped to his ever-present mask. All she’d need to do was pull it down, and there’d be nothing left between them.

  It was something she never would have considered back when this was still a game. Now, though, with everything so different and deadly, crazy ideas didn’t sound so crazy. For all her bravado, there was still a good chance she’d be dead under Grel’Darm’s boot in less than an hour. Why not take a risk?

  That felt like the best idea she’d had in a long, long time. With an excited breath, Tina started easing herself closer to SilentBlayde’s warmth. But just as she was about to close the final distance, something in her stone body vanished.

  It was a small change, but once it settled into place, everything felt wrong. The sky-blue eyes she’d been admiring only seconds before now struck her as soft and moist. Fleshy. His tall, lanky frame was suddenly too narrow and flimsy, the long fingers of his gloved hands t
oo spindly. As she stared at him now, all the effortless elven grace she’d always secretly loved to watch suddenly seemed like weakness. Even the paradise scent of his golden hair had soured. Not because it was not beautiful, but because it smelled of the sky, not the ground.

  Not like her.

  Tina fought the impulse for as long as she could, searching his familiar face for the parts she’d liked best back when she’d been human. But she wasn’t human anymore, and in the end, her stonekin revulsion won out, forcing her to pull away.

  SilentBlayde jumped when she moved. He blinked for a second as the spell between them broke, then the half of his face Tina could see flushed red all the way up to his golden eyebrows.

  They both looked away in embarrassment, but Tina’s quickly turned into disgust as she touched a hand to her face. Her stone skin was flexible under her fingers, but her cheeks were cold, and her lips were as rough as granite. Sitting next to the graceful, dancer-like elf, Tina felt enormous—a hulking, stomping, elemental monster. A being who lived underground and ate rocks and disdained all of the normal, soft, physical things the squishy races did.

  And she hated it.

  “So,” SB said when the silence had become unbearable. “You said you had a plan for beating Grel’Darm?”

  Tina grabbed her bag of “food” and popped a rock into her mouth, crunching so loudly, people twenty feet away jumped at the noise. It took two more rocks before she felt together enough to reply. Even then, she could only recite the facts.

  It was a cold, awkward sort of conversation, nothing like they usually had, but SilentBlayde at least was back on his game. He listened intently, asking smart, pointed questions until she got to the crux of it. He made her explain that part twice, then he burst out laughing.

  ****

  Ten minutes later, gongs sounded on the fortress walls. Soldiers poured from their barracks at the sound, grabbing weapons and shrugging into armor as they ran to join the units forming in the courtyard. Moments later, Garrond himself appeared, marching down the lines of soldiers with an even grimmer expression than usual on his dour face.

  In the players’ area, Tina pushed herself up with a sigh. Dawn had broken while she’d been going over the plan with SB, changing the Deadlands sky from oppressive black to oppressive gray. The faint light illuminated the faces of her raiders as well, highlighting the dark circles under their watchful eyes as Tina walked over.

  There was no need to bang on anything this time. The whole raid’s attention was on her the moment she climbed into the cart, watching her like a threat as she placed her hand down on the guild sign-up sheet.

  “It’s choosing time,” she said, looking around at the now-familiar faces. “SilentBlayde has told you the plan, so there’s not much else for me to say. You know what’s coming. If you want out, step forward now.”

  KuroKawaii hopped up immediately. “Sorry, Roxxy,” she said with a shrug. “It was a good try, but I’m not willing to die for this shit.” She turned to the others. “If you’re smart, you’ll follow me, and we can give these Order jackoffs the backstabbing they deserve for being so snooty.”

  Tina’s jaw clenched. She’d known this was coming, but the desertion still stung. Even so, she kept her word, holding out her hand to the Assassin. “Good luck, then.”

  KuroKawaii rolled her eyes at the offered handshake and walked away, snagging a bag of bread as she left. “Come on, Zero,” she said, swinging the bag over her shoulder. “Let’s get out of here.”

  But ZeroDarkness didn’t move. When she realized the other Assassin wasn’t behind her, Kuro whirled around with a furious scowl.

  “What the hell, man? I thought we were together on this!”

  “We are,” the jubatus said, pulling down his face mask. “But I’m staying, and you should, too.”

  “What is wrong with you?” Kuro demanded, stomping over to the other Assassin, though she had to stand on her tiptoes to get in his face. “Roxxy’s plan is nuts! You and I left the first time because she was going to get everyone killed.”

  “But Roxxy didn’t get everyone killed,” ZeroDarkness said angrily. “She got them here. We were the ones who had to beg to be let back in!”

  Kuro scowled. “But—”

  “I came with you the first time because I didn’t want you to go alone and die,” he said, scowling down at her. “But that was before we knew the whole world hated us. I think we have a better chance if we all stay together.”

  Kuro’s eyes narrowed. “And if I go alone?”

  “Then you go alone,” he said, crossing his arms.

  KuroKawaii made a frustrated noise, but he didn’t budge, and in the end, she dropped her bag of bread with a huff. “Fine,” she said, glaring at Tina. “But screw your guild! I’m bailing the moment this loony-bin plan of yours goes south.”

  Tina let out the breath she’d been holding. “Fair enough,” she said, looking around at the silent raid. “Anyone else?”

  Zen stepped forward, and Tina cursed under her breath. No one liked KuroKawaii much, but Zen was respected by the raid at large. Losing her would be a huge blow, and Tina was scrambling to think of how she was going to mitigate it when Zen said, “I’m not bailing.”

  Tina blinked in surprise. “Okay,” she said, trying not to show how relieved she was. “Is there something else you want to say, then?”

  “Yes,” the Ranger replied, holding her head high. “I like this plan, and I like the idea of being a mercenary company, but I don’t want to follow you.”

  It hurt her to hear it, but there it was, and Tina couldn’t say she didn’t deserve it. “So this means you aren’t in, then?”

  “Correct,” Zen said. “And the rest of the Rangers are with me.”

  Tina felt like she’d just been punched in the gut. Losing Zen would have been bad enough, but losing all six Rangers could collapse everything. She was desperately trying to think of something to say to change their minds when Zen continued.

  “We’re not content to follow you as we have been,” she said. “We’ve all discussed it, and we’ve agreed that none of us want to be part of Roxxy’s Roughnecks or Roxxy’s mercenaries.”

  “Then what do you want?” Tina said, confused. “My name’s kinda already on the contract.”

  “It’s not about the name,” Zen snapped. “We’re willing to stay and fight, but only if we get a say in how the guild is run from here forward. We’re not going to sit back and blindly take orders from Queen Tina anymore.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?” she demanded. “Did you even listen to my apology? I only acted like that because I couldn’t just stand there and let you get yourselves killed!”

  “That’s the problem!” Zen shouted back. “You treated us like we were stupid. You’re still treating us that way, but we’re not. We were confused, sure, who wouldn’t be? But we still carried out orders every single time. Even when you were unconscious, we made it work, and yet you still—still—treat us all like children!”

  “Because I had to!” Tina cried. “We were running for our lives, and you weren’t getting with the program fast enough! What was I supposed to do? Ask Grel to wait while we held a conference?”

  “You could have listened,” Zen said sharply, folding her arms over her chest. “Since hour one, you’ve treated us like children and idiots. You never properly told us what was going on or asked our opinion about what the raid should do. It was just orders, orders, orders. And whenever anyone did speak up, you threatened them until they backed down!”

  “I did what I had to do,” Tina snarled. “If I hadn’t been the fire under your heels, we’d all be under Grel’s.”

  “You saved us from the Dead Mountain,” the Ranger admitted. “Everyone knows that, which is why there hasn’t been a mutiny. But everything since has been us scrambling to escape problems you caused, including the one we’re standing in right now.”

  She pointed up at the Order fortress, and Tina flinched.

 
“Maybe getting the Order’s help didn’t work the way I’d hoped,” Tina admitted grudgingly. “But it was our only valid move, and it’s not over. While you were curling up in the courtyard to die without your bow, I was in Garrond’s office, putting my ass on the line to get us a fighting chance!”

  Her voice rose with every word, booming until it rattled the paving stones. “You don’t like what I’ve done or how I’ve treated you? Too bad! I’ve kept us all alive despite constantly being stabbed in the back for it. That’s why it’s Roxxy’s Roughnecks, because I’m the only one willing to kick your asses until you agree to help me save them. I’m the only one here who has done anything that has gotten any results!”

  “Because you never let anyone else try!” Zen screamed at her, standing on tiptoes to get right in Tina’s face. “Every time anyone has suggested anything, including me, you’ve shut us down with condemnation, extortion, and violence!”

  “Because all your ‘help’ was going to get us killed!” Tina yelled back.

  “We didn’t think so!” Zen cried, shaking with fury. “Damn it, Roxxy! You can’t say we’re veteran bad-asses one minute and tell us we’re all idiots the next! If that’s the case, then us idiots are out! We’ll take our chances in the swamp because we’re Rangers and wilderness survival is what we do!”

  As furious as Tina was, that one got to her. She’d sold this plan to Commander Garrond on the premise that she was leading a crack team of veteran raiders, but she’d treated them as anything but. She still thought Zen’s idea of going through the swamp had been stupid, but considering the mess she’d landed them in, Tina couldn’t say shit. Lots of mistakes had been made, mostly on her end, but this one was one she couldn’t keep making. She had to decide right now if her raiders were professionals or children, because they couldn’t be both. But while Tina wasn’t sure which was actually correct, she knew which one she wanted.

  “Okay,” she said quietly, swallowing her resentment. “You’re right, Zen. I acted like an ass, and I’m sorry. What’s it going to take to keep you?”