by P. S. Lurie
‘My old bones,’ he groans, then chuckles to himself.
‘I love you,’ I say. I wish I’d connected with my grandfather earlier in my life but I’ve learnt tonight that it takes tragedy to bring out people’s true emotions. I love you. I’m not sure I ever felt the gravity of those words before. I’ve said them so few times.
‘I love you too. Now then,’ he says and with that I know it’s time. My grandfather closes the bedroom door behind him and once more I am on the opposite side of a door of someone who is about to die although this time I can stop it happening, unlike with Jason, but I do nothing apart from keep guard.
Even in the next ten minutes my mother would know how to force my grandparents to cough up the pills but that would defy my grandfather’s wishes. Bringing him back to life won’t increase my chances of being Rehoused but this isn’t why I’m allowing them to die. I’m doing this for Ronan. But would I readily allow my parents to die as well if that means saving my brother? I detest that I am attempting to validate something for which there is no justification.
I stand firm and block the door, not that anyone is coming upstairs. Tonight I’ve made Jason a promise and now I’ve made my grandfather a promise, and I am determined to let neither down whatever it takes. I check my watch.
Not even four hours have passed since the announcement but death has already crept its way into my house.
Selene
Loneliness plagues my thoughts. Henry hasn’t come to find me. Perhaps his parents have convinced him I am too much of a threat to be around. Perhaps he will ignore me and wait for me to leave or, worse, force me out.
Violent images come to my mind. I can argue the Argents’ deaths as self-defence. I was only doing what it took to survive, I will tell others through the gates to the Upperlands. Perhaps this is a test to find out the most selfish of all us and I’ll be shamed. No, the other survivors would understand because many of them would have had to kill too. The Upperlanders are even more selfish; in my position they would have killed willingly. Isn’t that what they’re doing indirectly anyway? Maybe they won’t shame me but instead they’ll commend my strength of character.
This attempt to convince myself that killing the Argents would be an asset is hard to swallow. Even if I manage to hurt his parents I couldn’t harm Henry. I either have to leave here or die here and I’m probably dead either way. My fantasy of the Ark is long gone.
For the second time tonight my legs cramp inside the wardrobe and I step into Henry’s room, repeating my actions from earlier this evening but now in an extreme circumstance. I almost wish all I had to worry about tonight was my mother’s usual attack. If only I had stayed at home... different complications to work through but not these ones.
It is coming up to eleven and the night is as dark as it will get, what with the moon and the streetlights going strong. The girl who murdered her family is nowhere to be seen. Her family members lie in a heap on the floor. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room either.
A family of three, next door to them, are still alive. The young woman and her parents chat in their lounge and I wonder if they are still debating who will be Rehoused or whether they have moved past that awkwardness and are now spending their final moments together. More likely they are avoiding the question in the same way we avoided the tide. I figure the girl will be Rehoused but that raises the question of whether it is a good thing for her at all; choosing who to Rehouse is only a short-term goal and I bet no one is discussing what happens after then because sacrificing oneself for a loved one only to then be maltreated in the Upperlands doesn’t bear thinking about. I wonder how much parents are honestly considering what is awaiting their children. Maybe under this uncertainty a quick death is kinder.
I look through the other window into Theia’s room but she is not there. Henry liking her is pretty much why I don’t, not that I’d ever let on that’s the pathetic reason I have. I’ve seen the way he looks at her and defends her. She never understood why we fell out but it was over jealousy; it tickles me somewhat that everyone describes her as smart yet she never clocked this. I wonder where she is and my gut tells me she must be up to something, figuring out a plan to save the day.
For once, I wouldn’t mind hearing it.
Theia
I leave my post after thirty minutes. It’s too late for my mother to do anything now. She can be angry with me later; I can only be blamed for not allowing her the chance to say goodbye but in the eyes of my grandfather I have done nothing else wrong. A small part of me wants to punish my mother for having an affair as she sits next to my father downstairs, waiting for news on Dr Jefferson. I wonder how many times she will sneak herself away to the bathroom to listen to his updates. I wonder at what point she will turn against him or us. I wonder who she will choose.
I don’t enter my parents’ bedroom. I can’t face more dead bodies yet, even if these two may look peaceful on the bed, no blood spilling from their bodies.
I return to my room and look around at my possessions. Most of them are tatty, too girly for Ronan but gathered for when Leda is old enough to appreciate them. I have no attachment to anything in here. Anything valuable is long gone, sold to the market for food. The world has gone backwards, trade is primitive, advance is a thing of the past. We just struggle to survive. If all we’re doing is waiting to drown then that doesn’t sound worth waiting for. It’s a question that rears itself relentlessly, especially for those who have already been flooded out of their homes. Maybe culling the Middlelands isn’t a bad idea after all. Hurry the process up. Maybe the Upperlanders are doing us a huge favour.
I look out of my window and try to comprehend the expanse of sea that makes up nearly all the planet’s surface. Maps became redundant decades ago. Henry and I often dreamt up all the possibilities of life somewhere across the oceans. Other lands and other people. If we believe the Upperlands’ reports then we are the only survivors; our neighbourhoods high enough to rise above the water but not too high as to freeze to death. From what I understood in geography lessons, most metropolitan cities were formed near river mouths and lowlands for trade. They were the first to go, taking the mass of people and technological epicentres with them.
Henry and I used to debate whether travelling by boat in a straight line around the world would bring us back here or whether we would hit unknown ground beforehand. We guessed how long the journey would take to return full circle. It was a push as to whether we would make it back before the foundation-deep Fence indicated that the Middlelands had vanished. To be in the only place left on Earth. There’s nothing more isolating and terrifying.
I haven’t been to the coast for a while before today. After what happened on my twelfth birthday, taking a boat is out of the question. I pull myself out of my musing and realise I still haven’t spoken to Henry. I saw him briefly before the announcement but that was hours ago. I want to know what is happening in his house. I guess we’ve both been distracted. I consider hopping the fence into his house.
I look through the window and see someone but it takes me by surprise. A girl. Selene. ‘What are you doing there?’ I say to myself.
I rack my brains figuring out how she avoided the police and wormed her way inside. The only realistic explanation was for her to be there before the announcement. Henry didn’t say but then I remember he wanted to tell me something when the Surge came through. It must have been about her. She must have surprised him too. She’s done it before. She chose a bad night.
So that’s why the wicked policeman and Jason thought Henry had a sibling.
My comfort that Henry had plain sailing to the Upperlands is now blown apart. Whatever his parents want, he’ll never turf her out. Selene is like a daughter to them and, considering her own mother, she needed them.
I can’t see Henry. I tap on the window. I don’t think Selene hears, then she stops and turns towards me. For the first time in forever Selene’s immediate reaction is to smile at me. Not huge but big enough t
o know that she’s not displeased I am here. I can just about make out her swollen eyes. I’ve never seen her cry.
She comes up to the window but I wave to stop her from opening it and shouting across. She could be heard and that might count as some sort of rule break. I don’t want to draw any attention to us and hold up the paper and pen on my desk. She follows my lead.
Are you ok? We hold up the same message, and both nod in return.
Henry? I write.
He’s fine.
There’s a pause as she furiously scribbles something. She’s clearly not used to communicating this way as the writing is illegible. I squint and just about make out her scrawl. I need to get out of here.
Something nags at the back of my mind. I have no solution for myself tonight but an idea starts to form in my mind. I can’t quite focus on it but I allow it to take shape as I wait for her next message. The great Theia out of ideas.
She smirks but I know she’s only frustrated, and this time not at me. This is Selene’s way of asking for help. Past experience tells me it’s as good as I can expect from her. Then the solution knocks me sideways. There is something I can do to help her.
I write hurriedly on the paper, itching for her to read it. Get Henry and meet me at the back of his house.
Henry
‘Henry!’
Selene rushes down the stairs, ignoring my parents. I suppose they deserve it. I emerge from the kitchen where I was returning the leftovers, bewildered by her outburst. ‘What is it?’
‘Come with me.’
I follow her past my impassive parents to the back of the house. She closes the door behind us so that they can’t see. ‘What are you doing?’ I worry she’s planning something that could put us in danger. The fences aren’t too high out there but even if we leave by the garden there’s nowhere to go. ‘Selene I can’t just run out on my parents. I’m not going anywhere.’
‘Shut up.’
‘Tell me what’s going on.’
Selene unlocks the door to the garden. ‘You’ll see.’
‘What are you...’ I stumble over my next words when Theia appears in front me. ‘You’re...Theia,’ I stutter.
‘Hey Henry. Selene.’
‘Hi Theia,’ says Selene. They embrace, as if they’re best friends.
Theia steps into the room and what she says may change everything. ‘Selene, I have a plan.’
11 P.M. – 12 A.M.
Selene
Henry stares at Theia with more than just admiration and it’s obvious he will never fall for me. Still it’s a relief to see her for once, when her invasion of our time usually drives me crazy. The way she hopped over the fence impresses me; she’s more fearless than I gave her credit for.
Henry hugs her and she squeezes back. I’m not sure I want to hear Theia’s plan just yet. I can’t stay here for much longer but I’m also terrified what will happen if she comes up with something that will help me leave.
‘What are you doing here?’ she asks me.
‘I didn’t want to be at home.’ I bite the side of my mouth. ‘Petty bad timing hey.’
Theia remains business-like as usual. ‘Is everyone alright?’
Henry looks embarrassed and I answer on behalf of us both. ‘His parents would rather I wasn’t here.’ Before he can protest I add, ‘I can’t blame them.’
‘My parents love you but they’re conflicted,’ says Henry.
‘It’s fine. I understand. I’m sure if I hopped over to Theia’s they wouldn’t want me there either.’
‘Selene,’ Theia says. She’s firm, knowing the conversation is only going to go round in circles. ‘If you could leave now, where would you go?’
I haven’t thought about this too much. ‘I suppose home. But I’d be putting my mother in jeopardy. She wouldn’t be thrilled.’
‘She’d give her life for you,’ says Henry.
He doesn’t sound convinced and I don’t pretend to agree. ‘She’s not your mother Henry. Nor yours Theia. You don’t have to understand.’
‘Right, my mother the hero,’ Theia scoffs. I note the sarcasm but don’t press for more. ‘I think I can get you out of here.’
‘Just me?’
Theia nods. ‘I can’t guarantee what would happen but I think you’d have a good chance of getting away safely.’
‘What about the policeman?’ Henry asks. ‘Have you seen him?’
Theia shrinks up, smaller than her usual brash self. I guess she has. ‘I’ll take care of him.’
‘Are you doing this to save Henry?’ I blurt out.
‘That’s not fair,’ says Henry. ‘That’s not what she means.’
‘I’m only half serious. Leaving here is my top priority. Theia, if you can help... there are no words. What about the two of you?’ I have no idea what Theia’s own situation is like.
Henry looks towards Theia expectantly, for plans to help not just me but his family too.
‘The best bet is to wait and not do anything rash. I saw a family.’ She doesn’t finish her sentence.
Henry puts his hand on her shoulder. ‘We saw.’
‘So what does this plan involve?’ I ask, breaking their moment.
‘Give me ten minutes. I need to get something. Are you sure you want to do this Selene?’
‘Absolutely,’ I say without hesitation.
‘You can stay and we can figure this all out,’ Henry says.
‘And then what? Your parents decide to save me instead? Theia’s right, it’s time for me to go.’
‘I’ve never heard you say that,’ says Henry.
‘What?’
‘Theia’s right.’
‘Don’t expect to hear it again.’ My joke falls flat. It’s unlikely we’ll all be in the same place ever again. ‘Henry it’s the right thing to do. We’re wasting time.’
Theia looks at me with steely determination. ‘The policeman from earlier.’
‘The one that killed Charlie?’
Theia doesn’t know about this. ‘The one that talked to you after the announcement.’
‘Same guy. Friendly,’ I say.
‘Right. Remember his uniform? What if I could acquire one?’
‘You mean I dress like him?’
Theia nods.
‘That’s too dangerous,’ says Henry. ‘What if you’re caught?’
‘What if I stay here? How do you have access to a uniform?’
She glances at Henry and seems ashamed, as if she doesn’t want him to know. ‘Long story.’
However she acquired it I’m impressed. Her idea is better than anything I could have dreamt up. ‘What do you need me to do?’
‘Wait for me to come back. Actually there is one thing whilst I’m gone.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Don’t get yourself killed.’
Theia
Henry looks weary, more like his father, and I suppose we have all aged tonight.
‘What’s happening at your house?’ he asks.
‘Do you mean, what are my prospects?’
‘I didn’t...’
I cut him off. ‘I have a brother and sister to think of.’ I don’t tell them about my grandparents, or my mother.
‘But Leda...’
‘Leda what?’ I know it’s unfair to snap but it’s anger directed away from my parents towards an easy target. I’ll apologise to him later if I have a chance. Despite Jason’s warning it’s relatively easy to climb over the walls that separate our houses. I figure the girl at her desk is waiting to talk to me and I glance up and spot her. She looks anxious but I don’t have time to check in with her. I think about the rest of the fences in our street. I could climb over them in a line but it would only take me to the end of the enclosed block and any of the houses might be dangerous to cross; I thought the Ethers’ house would be safe and that was an error. Still, if I hadn’t explored the house Selene would not have this opportunity. Jason’s misfortune provides her with a chance. I think he’d like that. He saved
me and now possibly her tonight.
I cross my garden and head for the next fence. As I have one foot into the Ethers’ garden, the overhead buzz I’ve heard a few times this evening strikes up once more. I freeze, balancing precariously on top of the fence. It’s louder than the hum of electricity but distant and I still don’t know what it is. The din quietens down and I worry what repercussions it could have for us. I have the outline of an idea that it could be the vehicles picking up those to be Rehoused but it’s not yet midnight so they would be hours too early. There are too many unknowns tonight and not enough certainties.
An approximation would place the number of houses in the Middlelands at about five thousand. Ignoring the municipal buildings, such as the hospital, if each house contains on average three or four people, the number of dead will reach way over ten thousand by morning. I know what is happening in the hospital but don’t want to consider what the nursing homes and orphanages look like. The homeless are another mystery; I can’t begin to guess what their rules are but the streets are emptier than usual so the Upperlands must have considered them in the equation. They must all be gathered at the Fence waiting. Jason was trying to tell me something about dawn but he never had the chance.
Then there’s the population in the Upperlands but that remains an enigma. I was too young to remember how it looked, back when it was free to pass between the two settlements, back when boundaries were unmarked. With the exception of the announcements it’s impossible to know what it looks like now. They have no direct access to the sea so I assume they trade with some of our leaders for fish but they must also have their own food sources. Henry’s father, working with the fishing nets, swears he doesn’t know anything about dealings with the Upperlands and I doubt they’re concerned about this; whether they obtain fish or not, the videos during the Surges suggest they have plenty of space for growing vegetables and raising livestock.