by Angel Rose
“Don’t worry…I’m here for you…I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell Michael you were pregnant?” She looked at me puzzled. I didn’t respond. I had nothing to say. “Come on… let’s get
you dressed and get ready to go,” she said as she handed me a tissue and gathered my clothing from the chair. I stared at Margaret and began to cry inconsolably.
Margaret hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead.
“Jen, please, get dressed.”
She helped me place my blouse over my head. I slipped on my slacks from the bed so I wouldn’t have to bend down. She tied my blue and white Roche runs and helped me stand to my feet to get
ready to leave. Margaret held my hand as the nurse brought over a wheelchair. I shook my head I wanted to walk. I looked at Margaret with agony in my eyes as tears slid down my face. We walked
to the car very slowly as I to felt the pain in my belly and as my cramps increased, I started to panic.
“Jen, you have to calm down,” Margaret said as we drove to her apartment.
I curled up in the back seat and then tried to stretch out my legs. I was cramping a little. I was sore. We finally arrived at the apartment building and walked up slowly to the door.
Margaret unlocked the door and pushed it open with her butt for me as she held me by my arm. Dave was working and wasn’t home. Margaret then called Tilly and put her on speakerphone.
“Tilly, its Margaret. How are you?”
“I’m fine and you? How’s Dave?”
“I’m great…Dave is Dave.”
“How’s Michael? I haven’t heard from him in a minute.”
“He’s fine. Jenesis isn’t feeling well.”
“Oh, what’s going on?”
“Well, we just came from the GYN and she has some fibroids. She’s in a lot of pain. Do you think we can hang at your house for the weekend? I know Eddie is away for the weekend with his
brother. She’d like to recuperate from all of the probing and stuff. You know how that is…women things. Is that ok? It’ll be a girl’s mini vacation.
“Jesus, I’m glad you called, I thought I’d be bored out of my bloody mind this whole weekend without Eddie.”
“Great we’ll be there in an hour.” She hung up the phone. I looked at Margaret nervously and she looked like a nervous wreck herself. She wasn’t a very good liar. I hope Tilly doesn’t read right through her. I hope
Dave doesn’t get suspicious either.
We headed over to her house in Bedford, New York. Tilly and Eddie lived in a beautiful house. A three-floor colonial that lay nestled on a 5-acre lot filled with gardens, just like the gardens in
England, with streams and ponds to match. The neighborhood was swanky, you can tell by the Mercedes Benz, Audi’s, BMW’s and Maserati’s in the driveways as we passed each house. The
manicured front lawns were the size of half a football field and every flower and bush was set fastidiously to compliment the eye of the passerby.
Tilly came from money. Her family owned their own construction business in London and built her house here in the states. They were famous in England, and somewhere in their family tree,
they had ties to a royal bloodline. As we drove up to the gate, it opened up automatically. Dangerous? Anyone can go in and kill them, I thought to myself.
We parked the car in the driveway behind Eddie’s 2014 silver Jaguar XF as the gates closed behind us. Eddie was Michael’s best friend, though you wouldn’t know it lately. Eddie met Tilly three years ago in the city while she worked at an investment firm near the financial district. He was
delivering mail while she worked as an investment manager and offered financial advice to her clients. It was love at first sight according to Eddie.
Tilly didn’t have to work, ever, but she was determined to build her own empire one day. Eddie doesn’t have to work, either. Tilly really seems to spoil the hell out of him. I don’t know if she minds that Eddie isn’t rich and doesn’t have a great job, but at least now that he’s thinking of
joining the academy, he should be able to pull his own weight. I learned a lot on the ride up here to Bedford because when I met Eddie and Tilly at dinner, there wasn’t much conversation between
the four of us. Michael and Eddie spoke to each other and Tilly didn’t have much to say. Margaret has been very well informed. It’s funny how she spent the entire time talking about Tilly and Eddie
and didn’t have one conversation about her and Dave or me and Michael. I think Eddie and Tilly liked their privacy, but thank God Margaret loved to talk.
I didn’t know if Tilly was as trustworthy as Margaret and I wasn’t taking any chances. I just couldn’t believe how wealthy Tilly was. As we drove up the long winding road, we finally parked
in the circular driveway. Her house was breathtaking. It looked like an old fashion plantation house found in the south. It was spectacular.
“Margaret! Jenesis! I’m so happy to see you both!” Tilly shouted exiting from the front door. The front entrance was a double mahogany door with a floral design. My mother loved interior and exterior design and even though she worked at the medical center, she had tons of magazines about
decorating and upgrading homes. She would have loved Tilly’s house. She sat in a quiet corner in her room at night when my father was in a drunken state of sleep and would show me what her
dream house would look like, which included Tilly’s front entrance door. The dream was over as soon as he walked in to give her the beating of her life. Why did she stay with him?
Why did he beat her? What magic spell did he have over her?
“Jen, are you ok?” Tilly asked as she gave me a tight hug. I loved her British accent.
“Oh, I’m in a little pain. Tylenol?” I asked holding the lower part of my belly that cramped up. I cringed at the thought that there was no baby in there. My God… I lost my baby…our baby. I will pay for this.
“Of course, come on in, I have your bed ready and Margaret, you’re going to love this! I have the hot tub ready for us on the deck! Girl’s night out!” She said in a high-pitched voice walking over to the kitchen cabinet to get the Tylenol.
Margaret laughed and shook her head.
“She’s so overdone sometimes, isn’t she?” Margaret said with a sneer.
“You have to love her, though,” I whispered with an earnest smile.
Tilly led the way and opened the door to a mini palace. The room had beautiful light blue satin curtains that hung to the floor. The king sized four-post bed had six pillows and the satin quilt matched the curtains. The bed was big enough for all three of us to sleep in. The Victorian bedroom
furniture was remarkable, cherry wood with intricate designs, fit for a princess from the Renaissance Era. She was rich…filthy rich.
“Enjoy…and rest, Jenesis. We’ll be in the hot tub.” She giggled as she closed the door and shouted to Margaret, “Let’s get wet!” then headed down the stairs to get the hot tub ready.
I fell asleep with my legs lodged up on two pillows. I wrestled with the images of the doctor’s office that invaded my dreams. I woke up on the floor, face down, with the two pillows on the floor near the bed. I slowly lifted my head and realized I was lying on my stomach.
I got up slowly feeling dizzy and little disoriented. I walked over to the bathroom, pulling down my sweatpants and panties as I held on to the sink. I sat on the toilet and as I wiped myself and the red stained toilet paper pushed me over the edge I began to scream.
“Oh no!” I cried. My legs were trembling and my heart was racing.
Margaret and Tilly pushed open the bathroom door, both drenched from running out of the hot tub. Tilly slipped and felt straight on her ass.
“Jenesis, for fuck’s sake! What is it? What happened?” Tilly said as she tried to pick herself up from the floor, sliding on both hands around the bathroom floor.
“Jen, what happened?” Margaret said softly. She grabbed me by the shoulders
as I stood up, placing toilet paper to line my panties as my hands shook. I lifted up my pants and stood staring at them both.
“I’m bleeding,” I whispered, shaking and horrified at the sight of blood.
“Oh my God! Jenesis, I’ll call a doctor,” Tilly said as she glared into the inside of the toilet bowl.
“Please don’t…Tilly…please.” I walked out of the bathroom and back into the room. Tilly and Margaret followed. I looked at Tilly and Margaret in shame. I lowered my head and whispered,
“I had a miscarriage yesterday…” I started to sob hysterically and fell straight to my knees, grabbing the quilt from the bed and smothering my face into it.
“Jen, it’s okay. Does Michael know? I mean...you’re bleeding. Did the doctor say that would happen?
I nodded my head. Tilly and Margaret kneeled beside me and wrapped their arms around me.
“I’m not really concerned about Michael right now. I want to make sure you’re okay; I’m calling my doctor. No one will know, I swear.” Tilly tearfully walked out of the bedroom into the hallway.
She came back with her cell phone and called the doctor. Margaret held my hand gently, her eyes filled with sorrow.
“Take a warm shower Jen. You’ll feel better…or would you rather a bath?” Her eyes teared up, and she finally let loose. She cried on top of me, and as Tilly walked in, we all started to cry
together. You could hear the sniffling and whimpering echoing in the hallways of Tilly’s mini mansion.
Tilly and Margaret walked me to the bathroom. I got undressed slowly looking down at my panties stained with blood. The blood of my child…the blood of my lies that I’ve told my future husband, my partner, the love of my life. I got in the shower, feeling woozy and confused. I turned the
handle, the cold water ejected first, causing me to flinch and step back, triggering me to almost fall straight on my bottom. I held on to the glass shower doors that broke my fall. I couldn’t bear the
pain in my heart. I felt exactly the way I did when my parents were killed…emotional, abandoned and reckless.
The next morning, Margaret, Tilly, and I had breakfast on the patio overlooking her enormous, Olympic style, in-ground pool. The scenery was spectacular, but I was too drained to enjoy it. I
couldn’t eat. I had no appetite. My eyes were swollen and the pain in my heart made my whole body ache. I didn’t call Michael, and he didn’t call me, either. I’m glad, I would have told him. I
would have told him I knew I was pregnant and that I was going to have an abortion on Friday and our relationship would have been over.
“Tilly, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought you might tell Eddie.” I glanced over at her apologetically.
“I have to say, Jenesis, I’m hurt. If Michael knows, what’s the problem? How could you ever think that I would tell Eddie something so personal like that? We’re women, we have to look out for one
another.” She stared at me with her deep, aqua-blue eyes, eating her eggs benedict, and sipping on a mimosa.
“I don’t know…I was scared…I didn’t even tell Margaret until she came to pick me up yesterday morning.” I stared at my food, the nausea creeping up slowly to my mouth.
“It’s okay…I just…I know we’re not close, but we’ve known Michael for years. I want to be a part of your life, too. You can trust me. I love Michael, and you. You guys are my best friends, my
only friends.” I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. I felt so guilty I couldn’t look at her. I saw her quivering lips and teary eyes.
Margaret reached over to hold Tilly’s hand. Then, I reached over and rubbed her shoulder.
“I love you guys…it’s just that…I was afraid you would judge me.” “For what? You couldn’t have known you were going to miscarry, right?
Never…” she cried into my arms, and I held her tight.
“No, but I was going to have an abortion…today. I’m sorry…I’ve never been so disappointed in myself in my life. Please…don’t cry.”
“Oh…I see. Well, sometimes we have to do what we feel is right. I’ve been there, I know. I have something to tell you.” She took a deep breath and raised her solemn blue eyes at us. “I had an abortion three years ago. I cheated on Eddie because he cheated on me with one of the women at
Dave’s precinct.” She closed her eyes and tightened her fists. “He made me do it! He told me he was in love with her.” The hatred in her voice came out as a roar.
“At the precinct? Who?” I gave her a quizzical look waiting for her to drop the name of the wench.
“She’s a police officer. Cassandra.” Her eyes bulged out of her head, and her face was flushed with anger.
“What!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It couldn’t be my Cassandra from the front desk.
“Yes, Cassandra. You know what’s even funnier is that Eddie got accepted into the police academy and accepted a job at Dave’s precinct when he graduates just to be near that fucking bitch!”
Margaret’s eyes went blank. She stared at Tilly without saying a word. I removed myself quickly from the conversation. I needed time to absorb all of this madness. It was too much for me.
“Dave will never allow that. He’s not very fond of Eddie, is he?” I whispered. I stared at her waiting for her to respond for a moment. She didn’t. Then I thought about Michael and how pissed he must be at me right now. “I have to call Michael. He must be very angry with me right now.” I
excused myself, walked into the house, sat on the living room couch, and turned on my cell phone. Five missed calls and six text messages…Michael…the hardest phone call of my life.
“Hello?”
“Are you fucking serious? I’ve been calling you since last night. What the hell is going on? And where the fuck are you?” he barked at me through the phone.
“I’m at Tilly’s.” My voice cracked as I giggled nervously.
“You don’t even know Tilly! Since when did you become best friends with her during our brief encounter at dinner and at brunch once in a blue moon?” He yelled over the phone.
“Michael, I didn’t have my charger and you didn’t call the hospital. You left me there, remember?” My heart descended into my gut, who was I to say anything to him.
“You lied to me,” he whispered angrily.
“No, I didn’t.” I hesitated.
“You knew you were pregnant…didn’t you?” He was breathing hard over the phone.
“No…I didn’t,” I said adamantly.
Michael stood quiet on the other end of the phone. Then he spoke. “You’re twenty two years old, not sixteen, you expect me to believe you don’t know your own body?”
“Really? You out of all people should know I don’t know my own body. I don’t care what you believe. You left me alone at the hospital. You abandoned me when I needed you the most. Why? Why? Did you do it to me again?” I cried.
“You want me to excuse your irresponsible behavior. You wanted me to make love to you without using a condom and now you expect me to forgive you for losing our child!” He screamed so loudly I actually stared at the phone. My heart was thrashing against my chest. I felt sick.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant! How is a miscarriage my fault? You could have used a condom, why didn’t you, Mr. thirty year old? Mr. I’m more experienced than you are!” I shouted
“This is childish. I don’t have time to deal with a child. Grow up, Jenesis.
I’m not going to wait forever,” he whispered.
“I just did. Good-bye.” I hung up the phone and sat on the living room floor, crushed and feeling hollow. I was wrong, not him. I should’ve known better. I should’ve known better.
I decided to stay another night at Tilly’s. I just couldn’t face him and I knew this would make him even angrier, but I couldn’t think about that.
I’ll suffer the consequences later because right now, I’ll be suffering the consequences of what happened for the rest of my
life.
I woke up early the next morning. I was on the bed, so I’m assuming, no nightmare. I experienced some mild cramping but I felt much better than yesterday. I tried to control the thoughts running
through my head but I awoke with a lump in my throat and burst into tears as I washed my face with the vanilla scented soap Tilly had near the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized
that all of this had to happen…it was unavoidable. I was so happy that Margaret and Tilly were there for me. I was lucky to have all of them in my life. I’m sure if I told Dave he would have
never told Michael, either. But I didn’t want to hurt Dave either. I’m sure he wouldn’t have believed that I had it in me to do something this horrible.
But, he’s still not that fond of Michael. I just wish Dave and Michael would get along more like a family, someday I will have children, and I want to be able to live in peace.
Margaret and I were getting ready to take the long drive home. Tilly cried as we drove down the driveway. I could see her wiping her tears with the palm of her hand as I turned my head to wave
goodbye. She smiled and waved back then turned and went inside her house. Now I understood why she was so sentimental. She did it, too. And maybe she had a better reason than me to do it.
Now I wanted to know who she cheated on Eddie with. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s still the worse thing anyone could do. At least, I thought so.
The ride home seemed longer and Margaret and I didn’t talk at all. She seemed pensive and looked worried. I looked away from her and stared out of the window. I didn’t know how Michael was
going to react to me when he got home this evening. I had a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat and a lifetime of regret, how do you move on from that?
I gave Margaret a kiss and a deep, tight hug. The kind of hug you give someone when they just heard bad news. She dropped me off at my loft and I waved at her as she took off to go home. I
walked into the building not knowing what was going to happen. I took a deep breath before placing the key in the door. I prayed to God he was asleep. I opened the door quietly and shut it