by Bry Foster
“You know what? If you want your pills so bad why don’t you find a way back up to the hospital and pick them up your damn self?”
“You think I won’t? I don’t need you! Just because you’re always hanging around here…buggin’ me, killin’ my damn buzz all the time. I thought once you grew up you would do crap on your own but you still want me around all the time! Grow up!” He yells at me. If I were being more rational I would probably realize that we were airing out our issues in front of all of the nosey neighbors that occupy Casa Vega complex but I see red as I stare at him. I move around Liz and shove my father’s crutches into his chest so hard that he almost falls over. He is completely startled by the action and I don’t even care. I realize that my chest is heaving so hard that my lungs are not really getting a deep breath.
“Go ahead Liz.” I say lowly. She hesitates for only a moment, making sure that I won’t do anything irrational. When she is certain that I can restrain myself she walks back around to the driver’s side. When Liz drives off, I feel like I just finished an all-day track meet. I am so tired of fighting every one. I fight my father and his addiction. I fight Marley and her cronies. I fight my feelings for Cash and then I fight with Cash. Sometimes I just want to give up. I just want to be a normal 18 year old that does not have the weight of the world on her shoulders. No matter what I do, or which way I turn, there is an uphill battle for me to reach my ultimate goal. Happiness.
And there is only one person I can think I want to be near right now.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Hi.” I say into the receiver.
“I’m surprised to hear from you.” Cash says on the other end. No one will ever know how difficult it was for me to swallow my pride and call him first. But, I still couldn’t bring myself to say anything. When I did it was word vomit.
“My dad was in the ER.”
“Oh no, is he well?”
“Yeah. He fell off some machinery at work and twisted his ankle pretty bad. He already took off so, I guess he’s over it. It was just a little scare. Ya know?” I’m sure he didn’t but he agreed anyway.
“Sure, sure. That must’ve been scary.” We both get quiet and then he says. “Would you like some company?”
I’m shocked that he would come over here after I was so horrible to him. Still I have mixed emotions after the day that I’ve had. In the end, my heart wins over my brain.
“Please.”
“Hi.” I say again to him as I open my front door. He’s changed out of his school clothes and is now in gray joggers and a forest green t shirt. He kisses both of my cheeks and then hands me a white envelope.
“Corisande wanted me to bring this to you. They went out today.” I open it to find an ostentatiously decorated invitation.
You are cordially invited to the wedding of
Khloe Penelope Hudson
and
Cashel Castille
On the sixth day of June
“Wow. So soon?” I ask as I close the door behind him. I find him looking around. I suppose he didn’t get a good look when my father was drunkenly throwing him and his grandmother out, though there really isn’t much here to see. I feel my face heat. Knowing who his family… seeing where he lived…having him in this small cramped place is difficult.
Cash turns to me. “Yes. Luckily for us, it won’t be as big of an affair as ma mère’s or even my brother’s wedding was. Unluckily for us, that means the plans can be rushed.” He walks passed me and I try not to inhale the scent of him too obviously.
I try to absorb this as I walk by him. “Want something to drink?” I offer. He nods without speaking and I reach up and grab a set of plastic cups from the cupboard and then fill them with juice. I hand him one and he thanks me before sipping and setting it on the coffee table. We sit down on the couch.
“So are you going to let me explain the misunderstanding or am I resigned to being a big cheating bastard?” I almost spit out my juice. Instead, it goes down the wrong pipe and I start coughing and hitting myself in the chest. Cash scoots closer to me and pats my back and the action really gets me more worked up instead of soothing me. Even as my chest burns I feel the warmth from his palm sinking through my camisole top. I bat him away and nod.
“I saw those messages too. A lot of them are old. The ones that were new…those are difficult to explain. She must’ve deleted her messages in between to make it seem like there was more to the conversation. But, there wasn’t. I swear I’ve been perfectly content with you. Which is why I wanted to be the one to explain the situation.” He sighed as I sit next to him feeling like the insecure idiot that I acted at the school.
“I didn’t…” I sigh. “I’m sorry. I should have heard you out first. I just…”
“What? What is it about me that makes you feel like you can’t open up to me?” He asks with genuine hurt in his voice.
“It’s not you per se. I mean we are great friends but sometimes I feel like things are too personal to speak about in just a casual relationship.”
“Would it make you feel better if we cemented the relationship we are in now.” I bite my lip but nod. “Then consider it cemented and official.” His top lip kicks up and almost disguises the hesitance I see in his face.
“Why are you smiling?” He asks.
“You look terrified.” I laugh. He smiles.
“I’ve told you I’m new to this. I want to take you out tonight.”
“Why?”
“Can’t a man take his fiancé out on a date without there being any ulterior motives?”
“Not if that man is Cashel Castille.” Now his smile is wide, devious, and makes him even more attractive. It’s really not fair. It isn’t until I look up to glare at him that I realize how close he actually is to me. Our thighs are pressed together and he is leaned towards me. I feel the heat radiating off of his body. The glare melts away as I find that his breathing has picked up a little. I push my legs together as an intense feeling begins to take over my core. I can hear my rapid breathing but I can’t slow it down. I look at Cash’s lips before glancing back up into his eyes. The green is flecked by little hazel spots here and there near the iris like gold pieces in spring grass.
“Why not?” He asks me. So close that his breath washes over my face with every word.
“Because you’re sneaky.” I say after awhile. His eyes glint with humor and he laughs, marginally leaning back, the slight gesture clears the air between us enough that I can breathe. I inhale and then become irritated with myself. Keep it together. I narrow my eyes.
“Are you messing with me or something?”
“No.” He is not the least bit bothered by my sudden hostility. Cash is probably the only guy alive brave enough to face my abrasive nature. “If this was all some joke…” I say as I stand up. The outside of my thigh scrapes against his shorts as I stand up. He follows me.
“What? This is no joke. I really do want to take you out.”
“Again, why?”
“Because I want to, okay? I want to take you out. You’ve never been on a real date and I feel like I cheated you. Plus…” He sighs and runs a hand roughly through his dark locks. The sincerity in his voice makes my glacial attitude thaw. I hate how easily my guards crumble around him when they should be the most rigid and unyielding when he is present.
“Plus what?” I ask, my voice softer. I don’t know why, but I reach out and grasp his hand. Green orbs search my brown ones. One hand pushes through his hair. The other squeezing my fingers.
“Plus, I’ve never been on a date either. I thought…I thought it might be a nice first for the both of us.” My eyebrows furrow at the idea of him wanting to experience something like this with me for the first time. On the other hand, my blood pounds through my veins. Going out with Cash again? On a real date, no less.
I nod. “Cool. Okay.” I nod. His eyes bore in to mine.
“Really?”
I shrug going for mock nonchalance. “Why not.” We both chuc
kle and Cash tugs on my hand, pulling me closer to him. Somewhat startled, I look up at his face. He smiles down at me with an arched eyebrow, waiting to see how I respond. I swallow, this is a challenge. He knows that I am uncomfortable so he is pushing my boundaries to see what I do. I am comfortable with Cash though, he makes my body so jittery that outsiders may think I am not. I trust him. There is no doubt about that. What I don’t trust, is my heart and my body.
What kind of guy can make a girl second guess her own instincts when he is around? Instead of flinching away like I want to, I dig deep into the side of me that wants to get passed this roadblock. Falteringly, I let go of Cash’s hand and reach around to loosely wrap my arms around his lower back. Our chests lightly graze each other. He sucks in a deep breath. I come up to Cash’s neck straight on so when I look up at him at an angle, our mouths are only a breath away from each other. On one hand, I feel completely out of my comfort zone. I have never been this close to the opposite sex. I don’t think I have been this close to Liz. It feels very alien to me. On the other hand, as a strange current starts to buzz between Cash and I, my body starts to melt into the embrace. Cash hooks his arms around me, bringing me even closer so that our chests are flush against each other and I wonder if he can feel my heart thumping.
I can’t look away from his eyes. It feels like every time I try to mentally separate myself so that I can move away, I become captivated by something else about him: his smooth, olive skin, how hard is chest feels against my soft, yielding body. How good he smells, how long his eyelashes are. His strong jaw. His thick eyebrows, giving him a brooding look.
“I never thought that you would let me do any of this.” His voice is low when he responds. Not a whisper, but low. My neck is starting to hurt, but I don’t care.
“Like what?” I ask him in the same tone. Well, mine is more breathless. I am high off of the contact between us. Instead of answering Cash reaches up and pushes a rough hand into my hair at the nape of my neck. He leans towards me and all of my bodily functions come to a complete halt. My heart stops beating, my lungs stop accepting oxygen, I don’t even think my blood is pumping. All I can do is watch Cash lean towards me.
His kiss is soft, yielding and perfect. His lips are warm but firm and even though the kiss is chaste it still melds my body to his. It still further lifts my heart and leaves me as breathless as ever. He takes my breath away without trying. When he pulls away I can barely process a thought.
“You should get dressed.” Cash states. I watch his perfect lips form each word before pulling up at the corners and I register what he said.
“Erm. Right.” I state as I clear my throat and push myself away from him. There is slight hesitance where my body delays what my brain is asking of it but, eventually I get my limbs to work and drag myself to my bedroom door. When I get there I turn around to look up at Cash and blush when I see where he is staring.
“Really?” I reprimand. Instead of looking repentant he grins at me and puts a hand over his mouth to try to hide it. He stuffs the other hand in his pocket and turns to go back to the couch. I close my bedroom door softly and then turn my back to it and jump up and down like the idiot I am before rushing to get dressed.
In the beginning, my first date with Cash is awkward. We are both floundering about trying to find a comfortable topic to discuss while still being laid back. He takes me to some really fancy restaurant that is more of a testament to what he thinks a date should look like than something we would enjoy. We leave to get burgers and fries instead. I am back in my element. Spring rain sets in as we drive around and end up back on the topic of family. Cash tells me stories about how close he and his father were and I tell him about the relationship I had with my grandparents out west.
I’m not sure how it happens, but we end up back at my house. Sprawled across the living room couch, making out. The experience is like nothing else I have lived through to date. Cash lies between my hips, his hands gripping my tangled hair and pushing my shirt down so that my bra comes up over the top of it. I fist my hands in his hair as he kisses down my neck and I suck in a quick breath.
When he reaches for the buttons on my jeans, alarms blaze as my insecurities jump out of the hormone induced fog they were under. I grab his hand.
“Wait.” The word is a breathless sigh. We both look into each other’s eyes, our chests rising and falling heavily. He looks confused and there is another emotion I can’t identify. I look away. Not sure if the look in his eyes will change my mind or further embarrass me for what I’m about to say.
“I can’t…I’m not…ready.” I cringe at the word and Cash hesitates for a moment before sitting off of me a fraction. He swears in French and then turns my face so that I look at him.
“I’m so sorry. That was my fault.” I shake my head but he continues. “I don’t ever want you to be embarrassed about telling me you aren’t comfortable with something. I’m just so used to…I just lost control for a moment. It won’t happen again.”
For some reason I feel even more nervous at the way he’s handling this. “Are you sure?” I wonder if I have ruined his time, but I needed to be honest about this. This is the one thing I can’t joke my way out of. No matter how incredibly attracted to Cash I am. I’m not sure I will ever be comfortable going that far. His phone starts ringing again and he sighs in frustration.
He leans down and kisses me. “Of course. Tonight was fantastic, Beauté.”
“Even if it didn’t end how you wanted it to?” His eyebrows furrow.
“Any time I get to spend with you is me spending time how I want to.” His eyes pierce me as he says the words and I know they are true. He kisses me again and then leaves.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“I don’t care for having my ass in the air like this.”
“Swear Jar, Flower Pot.”
“Da—-ah darn it! I’m not gonna have any money for graduation if you guys keep this up.” I mutter.
We’re at Liz’s house, in the back yard being forced into some ‘calming yoga’. Jasmine thought it would help release the negative feelings I have after spending the day with Cash’s family yesterday. Amelia flew in for more dress fittings and so came Ms. Le Roux, and Clara. Corisande has apparently been spending more time at the Castille manor instead of flying so often. It was weird watching Clara hit on Cash and even more weird and annoying when she cornered me in the kitchen to threaten me to stay away from him.
“What exactly happened though?” Liz asks again. I repeat the story for Jasmine’s benefit.
“You know, I thought this mishap would be over by now but it seems you’ve dug your claws quite deep into my brother in law.” I frowned.
“Cash and I care about each other.” My word choice made her lip twitch.
“Be that as it may, I think that it would be best for the pair of you if you called this nonsense off before it goes much further.”
“And I think it would be best for you to mind your own business. Besides, in case you missed it. It’s gone pretty far. We’re planning a wedding.” She blocked my exit.
“Listen to me you little tart. You will break up with Cash or I will make both of your lives miserable.” My lips twisted.
“What is your problem? Aren’t you married? Why don’t you worry about your own husband?” She slammed her cup down on the granite counter top so hard that it cracked.
“My problem is you don’t deserve to be in this family. Do you know what I had to do to get Theodore to propose to me? I have spent countless time becoming who he wants and trying to fit into this family and you think that you can just storm in with your-“ She gestured at my clothes. “Ripped jeans and plain t-shirts and have Cashel? You can’t! It takes work to be in this position and you haven’t earned this title. You’ve no fashion sense. No manners and I’m sure you don’t come from a good family.”
“I think this has a lot less to do with what I’ve earned and a lot more to do with your obsession with my fiancé. That’s right. He
told me everything, whore. So the next time you get in my face, I may start telling the paparazzi his side of the story. I’m sure they are dying to know what caused the rift between what used to be the most beloved brothers of France.” Her lip curls.
“And you think Lena will let you do so? Tu es betes comme tes pieds. I will end you, twit. And when I do, you will wish that you took me up on this offer to call this off and leave him.” She shoved passed me and my water bottle flew out of my hand.
“What a wench.”
“Don’t listen to her Flower Pot, you deserve to be happy and if Cash makes you happy, you shouldn't let anyone stand in your way. Child’s pose.” I huff and get into position, turning my head to the side so I can converse.
“She just voiced some things I was already feeling. I wanted to talk to Cash more about where this-“ My phone starts ringing and I pause, sitting up. “Hello.”
“Khloe, you are not going to believe this. Four schools just sent letters asking you to formally apply.”
“Really? Which schools?” I ask as I walk away from prying ears. I squeal when I hear them.
“The only problem is the tuition… You would need quite a few scholarships to afford them.”
“Right.” With this secret, sometimes I forget everyone doesn’t know. But if it comes time to pay up, could I really ask Cash for the tuition money?
“We’ll talk more later, I was just so excited I had to call you.” I thank her and then walk over to Liz and Jas with what I hope is a cheerful expression. I’m as vague as possible in answering their questions but I do tell them about the schools.