by J. L. Ostle
“Thank you,” she whispers, biting her lip. I hate how much I want to kiss her right now.
“Anytime,” I answer. I try and think about anything but my dick and the most amazing person next to me.
We’ve been in Dominic’s room for about thirty minutes, him trying to teach me how to play guitar, and I swear I think learning how to play is like learning how to fly a plane. I watch Dominic’s fingers caress the instrument so fluidly, he makes it look so easy. I try and copy and the sound the strings make is awful. It doesn’t help that he keeps chuckling at me.
“You laugh at me one more time, I swear I will hurt you,” I groan as I try again and the strings just make another bad sound. “This guitar hates me, that’s the reason why I suck, it hates my guts.” I face the ceiling.
“It doesn’t hate you. First of all, it has no feelings; second of all, you just need more practice. You’re not going to be the best in just a day.” I groan again but more loudly. Yes, I have moved to the point of acting like a baby.
“What’s the third point? It always comes in threes.”
“Third point is; you could just suck at it,” he says, trying not to laugh.
“I can’t believe you said that. What happened to praising me so you know that I’m doing okay and all that jazz?” I place my hand over my heart as if I’m offended.
“I praise you if you’ve done well at something, but this,” he points to the guitars. “you kind of suck at.” I place the guitar I’m holding down and stand up.
“You think you’re so hot because you can move your fingers like a pro? Maybe you just have magic fingers, ever thought of that big guy?” I say teasingly but Dominic lays his guitar down and when his eyes land on mine, I feel frozen to the spot. How did we get from laughing to his smouldering eyes piercing me to the spot?
“You have no idea how good I am with my fingers.” He walks slowly towards me and out of instinct, I walk back. I don’t get far as I hit a wall, stopping me from going any further. “You want to experience how good my fingers really are?” He stops just a few inches away from me, his heat wrapping around me like a blanket.
“Dominic,” I whisper, but it sounds unlike me as I hear it leave my lips. He leans his head down and strokes his cheek with mine. Feeling his stubble along my skin causes goose bumps along my body.
“You always smell so good,” he whispers into my neck. He steps in further, his body touching mine. I swear I can feel his hard erection press against me and a whimper leaves my mouth. He glides his fingers down my arms and when he gets to my wrists he raises them up and pins them over my head.
“Dominic,” I whisper again. I just want him to touch me. Kiss me. Do anything. He stays where he is but presses his hardness against me and I arch into him. Wanting more of him. Like I’ve just burned him, he drops his arms and takes a few quick steps back.
“Fuck.” He pulls his hair as he turns around facing away from me. “Fuck.” I don’t know what happened. What did I do? What do I do?
“Dominic?” I speak up and his body tenses at the sound of my voice.
“Sky, you need to go,” he says sternly. I try to walk towards him so maybe I can comfort him. Assure him what we did was okay. It was more than okay. I want more. “Sky. Leave,” he raises his voice and I flinch.
I feel like he just slapped me. Tears start to fall but I don’t want him to see them. I run out the door and into my room, falling on my bed and crying into my pillow. Why does he do this to me? He wants to be my friend but he touches me all the time. The way he looks at me from time to time says more. Am I just imagining all of it? Am I that naive that I’m just seeing what I want to?
Maybe he just doesn’t want you. Maybe he just wants to fuck you but knows he can’t. That nasty voice echoes through my head. Is that what it is? He just wants to sleep with me but can’t? He said friends though. Yeah because you’re in his band, what else did you expect? I cry all over again, confused about what is going through Dominic’s head.
I stayed in my room for the next few days, trying to build up some strength for when I see Dominic again. I know if I don’t show my face around the house soon, Lake is going to think something is wrong. I take a long shower, since I’m sure I’m starting to smell, and head down to the kitchen to get something to eat. Lake is there, making dinner and my stomach grumbles like a monster, echoing through the room.
“You hungry?” she laughs. I wrap my arms around my stomach, embarrassed it made that sound.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Don’t know when it’ll be the last time we have homemade food so I want to cook as much as I can.” She checks the oven.
“Yeah, I don’t think I can eat take out forever. I would get bored of it and no way do I want to ever get bored of food.” I chuckle and she giggles with me.
“Yeah, well let’s hope we stop at some hotels and get decent food there. Like hell I am getting fat. I worked hard on this body and no way anything is going to ruin it.” She places her hands on her hips and poses as she sweeps her hand up and down.
“I think I’ve gained enough, too. I just don’t want to have a heart attack by the time I turn thirty. Could you imagine if Mom and Dad saw how we eat now? They would have heart attacks.” I say, laughing.
“Yeah they would be all ‘Do you have any idea what crap is going down your throat? Do you know what that is doing to your body? You are not going to eat until you’ve lost two pounds’.” We laugh but then stop. The last part isn’t that funny. I remember when I gained a couple of pounds once. They didn’t let me eat for two days. I was so hungry I even ran a couple of miles to help lose the weight just so I could eat again.
“Do you ever wonder what we would be like if they didn’t treat us like they did?” I look down and play with the hem of my shirt.
“Sometimes, but I like to think that we’ve become good people, despite them. We appreciate what we have now. I appreciate doing what I want, when I want, without being judged or punished. They had too much control over us. No one should ever have that much control.” I nod in response.
“I just think maybe I wouldn’t be this shy, naive girl. This girl who won’t take a step out of her comfort zone. I just think maybe if I was treated differently, I would be able to experience life more without getting so scared.” Maybe Dominic would like me if I was different.
“Sky, I was where you are now when I left that place. I was cautious, I didn’t know who to trust. I had all their rules drummed so far into my brain that it took me ages until I said fuck it and did something. I am so grateful for Leon. He was very patient with me. He knew I was different. He said he could sense it. I told him how I grew up after I learned to trust him. It even took us over a year to have sex.” I look up at her in shock. The way they are always touching each other, kissing each other, you would think they were like that from the very beginning.
“You waited that long?” I’m still looking at her with my mouth hanging open.
“Yeah, I did. I was so scared. I kept thinking, what if he uses me? Sleeps with me then runs away, leaving me alone. But one night we were talking and he looked into my eyes and that’s when I knew. He had me. He had my mind, body and soul. He told me he loved me months before we had sex but people throw those words around and don’t mean it. But you know, if he hadn’t fallen in love with me, I would probably still be under our parent’s claws. Married to a man they chose, ready to reproduce babies to enter that kind of world.” She shudders at the thought.
“What if I can’t find someone? What if I stay alone or, even worse, marry a guy our parents choose? What if all this,” I swipe my hands around the room, “is just temporary? What if it’s all a dream and soon I’ll wake up, back with them? What if I don’t get my happy ever after?” I start to cry and I feel Lake’s arms wrap around me.
“You will. You’ll meet someone who loves you unconditionally. You’ll meet someone who you think about constantly and vice v
ersa. It will happen. I can feel it. Just be patient; you’ll find him, and like hell will I let him take you away from me. I will not let you live the rest of your life married to a man who just sees you as arm candy while fucking his secretary behind your back. You deserve more than that. You will fall and there will be someone who will catch you.” She places her hands on my cheeks guiding my head up to wipe away my tears with her fingers.
“Lake. I think I...” I was about to tell her what I was feeling for Dominic when we hear a commotion at the front door. Lake and I run to see what is going on and I feel a sharp pain through my entire body.
Dominic is pinning a girl with very dark hair against the wall, kissing her vigorously. I watch as he starts kissing her neck, pressing his lower body into hers. Her moans echoing through the room.
“Fucking hell, Dominic. Go take your play thing to your room. We don’t want to see that shit,” Lake shouts. Dominic stops, having not realized anyone was there. He turns his head and his eyes soften as they land on mine. I’m sure he can see the pain looking back at him. Quick as lightening, his face turns emotionless.
“Baby, let’s go take this to my room,” he huskily tells her. She nods her head as she unwraps her legs from around his waist and he helps her stand. I watch as they walk past me, not even giving me a second glance. I hear banging then I hear a door slam.
“Fuck, I knew it was too good to be true,” Lake says, shaking her head before going back into the kitchen. She puts on her mitts and starts taking things out of the oven. I was starving before but I think I just lost my appetite.
“What do you mean, too good to be true?” I ask, leaning my arms on the counter opposite her.
“Well, before you came he used to bring girls back here all the time. I told him that when you moved in, he had to tone it down. Anyway, the last couple of months I haven’t seen him with anyone. He could be fucking them at their places but I thought maybe he was growing up. Guess I was wrong.” Yeah, I guess you were.
Lake plates up our dinner and Leon joins us. I hate that I’m missing Dominic’s company. Whenever we eat at home, we all eat together. I eat as much as I can handle but my thoughts keep going to the guy I thought I was falling for. Lake was right at the very beginning. He would hurt me. I can’t let him break me further. I’m already broken but I’m putting the pieces back together.
“Yes, fuck me harder! Please!” the girl beneath me screams out. I’m ramming my dick so hard into her, my bed is banging against the wall, but right now I don’t give a flying fuck. I went to a bar to numb my thoughts and it worked. Luckily for this girl, she met me at the right time. I needed my dick wet and she was willing to accommodate. There was something about her I couldn’t put my finger on, but I had to have her.
“Scream my name,” I growl.
“Dominic!” she screams. I pull out of her, flipping her around so she’s on her hands and knees, and enter her again with one hard thrust, causing her to moan into the pillow.
Her dark hair spills across the creamy white skin of her back. I place my hands on her tight ass and dig my fingers in. Fuck, I’m going to come soon. I need a fucking release. Why the hell did I wait so long? A voice in my head is trying to tell me something but I let the alcohol mixed with the pure ecstasy I’m feeling drown it out. I lean forward and start rubbing her clit. Her walls start to squeeze my cock and it doesn’t take her long until she is screaming out her orgasm. I kneel back up, grab her hips and start thrusting in and out of her until I find my own sweet release. It doesn’t take long before sleep takes over.
I wake up to the mother fucker of all headaches. I try to open my eyes but they feel like they weigh a ton. When I finally manage to tear them open, I wish I hadn’t. The sun is streaming through my room. Why didn’t I close the curtains? I’m about to stand up when I feel movement next to me. I look across the bed and all I see is dark hair.
Sky?
What is Sky doing in my room? I look around and there are clothes everywhere; her clothes. Shit. Did we sleep together last night? Fuck, if I took her virginity and can’t remember doing it I am the biggest asshole of all time. I know I’ve been craving her but, fuck. Flashes of last night come through my head. Her on her hands and knees. Her saying my name. I’m trying to get my head around it when I feel her hand stroke up and down my arm. I turn my head with a smile but it falls when I see that the girl next to me isn’t Sky.
“Morning,” she purrs. What the hell? I place my hand on my forehead and try to think. I was at a bar drinking and a girl, this girl, talked to me. A few more drinks. Fuck. I fucked her. “Your head sore? Want me to make it better?” Her hand trails down, trying to get to my dick, but I stand up before she has a chance to touch it.
“Listen, this was fun, but it’s time to go,” I try and say calmly but I just want her to leave so I can think clearly on my own.
“No problem, sugar.” She stands up, fully naked, not caring that I can see her. Well, I did fuck her so why be shy now? She gets dressed and I open the door to show her out when Sky’s door opens as well. I look across to the girl I wished was in my bed. She looks at the girl leaving my room then back to me. The pure adoration she normally looks at me with is gone. Her eyes are now vacant and I start to feel an ache in my chest.
“Sorry about last night,” the girl, I have no idea what her name is, says. “We didn’t mean to give you a show.” Then it comes back to me. Entering the house, having this girl against a wall. Looking up and seeing Sky, her eyes full of pain. No wonder she has such a blank look on her face right now.
“It’s fine. I hope you had a good night. I’m off for a run, see you around,” she says to the girl, not once looking back at me as I watch her go.
“She seems nice, very pretty.” The girl starts walking down the hall towards the stairs.
“Yeah, she is,” I say quietly then follow the girl to make sure she actually leaves.
I went for a run to clear my head and, even though I tried to push them away, thoughts of last night and this morning kept creeping back in. Seeing that girl made things clear. Dominic and I aren’t meant to be. What did I really expect though? That the first guy I saw would be the one?
I think I’ve read too many books; lived in some sort of fantasy bubble. It hurt, yes, but it was my fault not Dominic’s. He told me he wanted to be friends and I made it more than what it truly was. I still want to be friends. I like hanging out with him. Plus, we are in a band together and will be going on tour soon.
Lake woke me up this morning, telling me that we’re going to be meeting the band members of Absolute Addiction. They have had ten number one hits, four albums and are well known to the music world. I looked them up on Google and listened to their music on YouTube. Their music is a little heavier than ours but they are good. Luckily the drummer is a girl so I have someone I can talk to; well hopefully, if she likes me.
I’m just hoping she isn’t another Sherry. I don’t want to be touring for a month or so with someone who wants to be a complete bitch to me. I hate that swearing is sneaking into my vocabulary. Being around the guys, and Lake, who swear all the time is definitely rubbing off on me.
Running back home, I tell myself that I can’t be angry. I’m hurt, but I’ll get over it. If Dominic tries to talk to me, I will assure him that we are fine. I’ll need a little time before we can go back to how we were, but it’s something I want to do.
I walk into the house and everything is quiet. I head to my room and look at Dominic’s door before heading to mine. I guess thinking about something is different than actually doing it. I take a long, hot shower and dress in a light blue summer dress. I’m just in one of those moods to feel girly. The dress does go past my knee and I wear a short white cardigan to cover my arms.
I’m leaving my room to find Lake when once again Dominic’s door opens and I get a flashback of that girl leaving.
Stop this. You are acting like he was your boyfriend, grow up, my head scolds me.
Dominic sta
nds there in a pair of black jeans that hang on his perfect hips and a black T-shirt hugging his tight body. Why does he have to look so good? He stands there looking at me and I feel out of place. Why would I ever think we would fit? He screams bad boy and I scream... school teacher.
“Sky, hi,” he clears his throat. “I want to apologize about last night and this morning...” I put my hand up to stop him from whatever he was going to say. I can see he feels guilty but there’s nothing to be guilty for.
“Dominic,” I say his name and when his eyes focus on mine, I see something in them, something that’s going through his head that I can’t explain. I only said his name. “Listen, you don’t need to apologize. This is your house too and if you want to bring people back, that’s fine. It was more of a shock than anything. We’re fine, okay?” I stutter out. He looks into my eyes and doesn’t say anything for what feels like minutes but I’m sure it’s just seconds.
“You sure you’re okay?” I nod my head. “I don’t want to lose our friendship. I know some of my actions may have led you on and I’m so sorry about that. I like being around you, I really do, and I hope we can continue that.” He scratches the back of his neck.
“I like being around you, too. I’m not used to being around men and I guess that when I saw you with that girl I just felt a little off. I felt like you were mine,” I chuckle. “Friends don’t own friends. But yes I want to keep our friendship. We’re in the same band after all.” I try to lighten the mood.
“Yeah we are. So friends then? He places his hand out for me to shake. I smile at him and place my hand in his. I hate that as soon as my skin touches his, I still feel that electric current flow through me.
“Friends,” I say softly. I notice his hand stays holding mine a little longer than normal but I try not to over think it.
My new motto, try not to over think.
“You ready to meet the headlining band of the tour?” I ask, trying to make conversation as I head downstairs.