by Chloe Walsh
"No," Hughie said calmly, "You should go home and cool off. She obviously doesn’t want to come with us, lad. That's why she's gone."
I turned my glare on him. "The fuck would you know about what she wants?"
Hughie's brows shot up in surprise.
"Give me your house keys, Cap," Gibsie commanded then, stepping in front of me.
Without questioning him, I pulled my keys out of my pocket and handed them to him.
"We'll catch you up," Gibsie told our friends as he tossed my keys to Hughie and then slung an arm over my shoulder, leading me back towards the P.E. hall.
I went with him because my schoolbag was in the hall, and I had no clue of what else to do.
"Are you okay?" Gibsie asked when we walked into the empty changing room.
"No!" I roared. "I am so far from okay, I don’t know what the fucking word means anymore."
"I know now isn’t the time to say it, but I'm going to say it anyway," Gibsie said. "I told you so. I fucking told you back in fourth year when she started sniffing around that she was bad news."
"I don’t need reminding," I spat as I stalked over to the bench and grabbed my stuff. "I know I fucked up."
"You did," he agreed, not bothering to lie, as he grabbed his own bag. "You saw a pair of nice tits, an easy life, and you let your then-working dick do the thinking for ya." Shrugging, he tossed his bag over his shoulder and said, "This is the result. Another clinger who won't let the fuck go."
"Well, my dick's not doing the thinking anymore," I bit out.
"Thank god. And for what it's worth, I would have lost my shit, too," he told me. "If some bitch talked about Claire like that, I would have blown ten head gaskets."
"It's my fault that happened to her," I growled. "Bella's on Shannon's case because of me."
"No," Gibsie corrected and then shook his head. "Okay, yes, she's on her case because of you, but that's not your fault, lad."
"She won't leave me alone, Gibs." Exhaling a ragged breath, I ran a hand through my hair and growled. "She won't stop."
"Could you talk to your Dad about getting, I don’t know, like a restraining order or something?"
"For what, Gibs?" I shot back, flustered. "Being annoying at school?"
"And following you around the pubs," he interjected.
I shook my head. "No, the only restraining that should have been done was me restraining my dick."
Gibsie laughed as we walked out of the changing room. "Restraining your dick."
"It's not funny," I barked. "I haven't had sex with her since Halloween. It's March now, Gibs. Fucking March. You'd think she'd let it go by now."
"You should have stopped things back then." He opened the door to the hall and we both stepped out into the rare afternoon sunshine. "You let it slide into January, Johnny."
"Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind," I huffed, descending the steps. "And she finished it, so I have no bleeding clue why she won't just go away."
"You know why she won't go away, lad," Gibsie replied, nudging my shoulder as we strolled into the carpark.
I sighed heavily.
Yeah, I knew.
Fucking rugby.
"Can you promise me something?" he said then, as he pulled out his car keys and unlocked his shiny new Ford Focus.
"Yeah, lad," I sighed, slinging my bags into the boot of the car.
"Promise that you will never go back there, no matter how fucking tempting it is."
I balked at him. "Gibs, I wouldn’t go back there if she was the last girl on the bleeding planet."
He laughed at my response and climbed into the driver's seat.
"I'm serious," I told him, sinking into the passenger seat. "I wouldn’t touch that girl again if she was the only cure for my un-ejaculating dick –" I paused to fasten my seatbelt. "I would rather walk around for the rest of my life with blue balls and a shriveled cock than put my hands on her again. That’s how much she repulses me."
"Well, good for you." Gibsie cranked the engine. "Because that girl wants to tie your ass down so bad it's scary."
"There will be no tying me down to anyone," I shot back. "And especially not her."
He arched a brow. "You sure about that?"
"Just shut up and put your seatbelt on," I instructed, looking around for anything he could hurt. "And check your mirrors."
"Yes, Dad," Gibsie muttered, complying with my commands.
"Okay, you can go now – nice and slow," I told him when I was confident that he could pull out of his parking spot without causing grievous bodily harm – which he was quite capable of doing. "Slow, Gibs."
"Binding thirteen," Gibsie snickered as he tore off way too fucking fast for comfort. "Little Shannon blew that shit clean out of the water."
"Slow your ass down," I barked, resisting the urge to snatch the wheel. "And what the hell does binding thirteen mean?"
"You don’t know about that?"
I shook my head. "Obviously not since I'm asking you."
"That's what they say, lad," Gibsie explained.
"Who?" I demanded as I grabbed ahold of the Oh Jesus handle and threw a few Hail Mary's up to the man upstairs.
Don’t let this fucker kill me.
"The girls at school," he chuckled, pulling onto the main road without checking both ways, and narrowly avoiding a milk van. "That's what they say about you."
Oh, Jesus.
I was going to die in this car.
He was going to take my bleeding life.
Sheepishly saluting the milkman who was shaking his fist at us, I turned to glare at Gibsie.
"They call me binding thirteen?" I shook my head. "Why? I don’t get it."
"It's not what they call you," he corrected. "It's what they want to do with you."
"What?"
"You're number 13," he laughed. "And they want to bind with you." He turned to waggle his brows at me. "Scrum style."
"That is…so fucking creepy," I grumbled, shuddering. "Put your eyes on the road!"
"One hundred percent," Gibsie laughed, turning his attention back to the windscreen. "Claire told me about it last year. Said she overheard a bunch of sixth years talking about something called ‘Operation Binding Thirteen’ in the bathroom."
"Jesus Christ," I growled.
"Right around the time you started tapping Bella," he filled in. "Do the maths."
I didn’t have to.
I had already figured it out.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," I groaned.
"Yep," Gibsie agreed with a grimace. "Be glad you got out of that, Johnny. Be very fucking glad."
I was.
More than words could express.
"What am I going to do, Gibs?"
"About Shannon?"
I nodded glumly.
"Give in," he answered without hesitation.
"I can't," I croaked out.
"You can," he assured me. "You're just scared."
Yeah, I was scared.
I was fucking terrified of my feelings for her.
"I don’t even feel like I have a choice anymore," I confessed. "I am losing my bleeding mind, Gibs."
"Nah, your mind's still there," Gibsie chuckled, patting my shoulder. "It's your heart your losing, lad."
"Fuck," I choked out, biting down on my lip as sheer terror seized my chest.
"Yeppers," he agreed. "Terribly inconvenient, isn’t it?"
"I'll fucking say," I mumbled.
56
Loaded threats
Johnny
She didn’t come back to school on Thursday.
I knew this because I watched out for her in the hallways between all my classes.
She never showed.
It didn’t sit well with me, knowing there was a very big possibility Shannon was ditching school because of what happened in the lunch hall.
It didn’t sit well with me because I knew it was my fault.
I couldn’t concentrate for shit all day.
Every single l
esson, word, and command went clear over my head, because I left my head with her.
Was she okay?
Was she mad at me?
Should I go over there?
Should I leave her alone?
I didn’t know.
And I didn’t even have her bleeding phone number to call and check.
We were breaking from school tomorrow for two weeks.
I had a match in Dublin tomorrow.
What if I didn’t see her before then?
What if she didn’t come back to school?
What the fuck was I going to do then?
Jesus Christ, I was losing my mind.
Using every ounce of self-control I had inside of me, I forced myself to push her out of my mind, as I headed out for training after school.
Because I didn’t need this – I didn’t need these feelings– fucking with my game.
"Are you with her?" Bella demanded when I reached the entrance of the P.E. hall after school, dragging me from my thoughts.
Shaking my head, I continued walking with every intention of ignoring her, but she grabbed my arm and hissed, "Answer me."
"Mind your own fucking business," I snapped, repressing the urge to shudder from her touch. "And stay out my life."
I needed her to not come near me today.
I was peppering with rage and my tongue wasn’t something I thought I could control if she pushed me.
"Answer the fucking question, Johnny," Bella hissed in a warning tone.
"And if I am?" I shot back, glaring down at her. "What's it to you?"
"Then you're a fucking idiot," she hissed, eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and anger. "Because that girl has virgin written all over her."
"It's not all about sex, Bella," I countered, wrenching my arm free. "And don’t put your hands on me again," I added, my tone laced with distain. "Your touch is not welcome."
"Not all about sex?" she sneered. "Ha. I'll give you a month with the frigit before you get bored and stray."
"I was bored of you after one night," I sneered.
"Then why did you keep coming back for more?" she demanded.
"Because I was lazy and you were as easy as they come." I lost my temper and hissed, "You were a phone call away, Bella – one quick text to wet my dick. That's all you ever were to me."
I was expecting the hand that wacked against my cheek.
I deserved a slap.
No girl deserved to be called easy, regardless of how true it was.
It was a low blow and one I found myself apologizing for.
"I didn’t mean that," I bit out. "That was a shitty thing to say."
"Yeah, Johnny, it was," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I know," I snapped, finding not an ounce of patience inside of me to deal with this girl. "That's why I said it was."
"Why are you being like this?" Bella asked, her tone taking on a softer hint. "Why are you being cruel to me?"
"I'm not being anything to you," I bit out. "I just want to get to training, and you're blocking my way."
"Because I want to talk to you," she countered hotly.
"We have nothing to say to each other, Bella," I told her with a shake of my head. "Not anymore."
"Did you see me?" she asked then, clearly baiting me. "With your teammate?"
"I don’t give two shites what you do with my teammates," I replied calmly.
"I don’t want him."
"That's your own business."
"I want you back."
"You can't have me back."
"Johnny."
"Bella."
"Come on!
"No fucking thank you."
Bella stared up at me for the longest moment before screaming and stamping her foot.
I shit you not, she actually stamped her foot.
"Why are you being so unreasonable?" she hissed. "I'm sorry I went behind your back, okay? I am sorry!"
"Fine, you're more than forgiven," I snapped, running a hand through my hair in sheer frustration. "Now move the fuck on with Cormac or whoever the hell you want. I really don’t care. Just leave me alone!"
"Are you honestly saying that you're okay with me being with Cormac?" she demanded, blocking the doorway when I tried to slip past her. "He asked me out, you know? I'm his girlfriend now. You don't feel jealous at all?"
"I. Don’t. Give. A. Shit," I bit out. "I don’t know what else I can do or say to make that any clearer to you."
"You really think that bitch is better than me?" she demanded. "Seriously, Johnny? Talk about downgrading. Does she even possess a pair of tits?"
"Don’t talk shit about her," I warned. "Say whatever the fuck you want about me but keep her name off your tongue."
"It's the truth," she spat. "She's a glorified needle." Shrugging, she added, "She looks anorexic."
"And you look and sound like a cold-hearted bitch." Repressing the urge to lose my shit right here outside the hall, I mustered every ounce of calm I could and hissed, "If you fuck with her one more time, I will ruin you."
She glared at me. "I'd like to see you try."
"I will ruin you," I repeated, voice deathly cold. "Your reputation. Your status. Your friends. Your future relationships. Everything. If you fuck with Shannon Lynch again, I will take everything from you."
Her eyes widened. "Johnny–"
"You know I can," I added, keeping my voice low. "Contrary to your beliefs, I have more going for me than a thirteen jersey and a dick."
"What if I told you I was pregnant?" she choked out. "What would you say then?"
I threw my head back and laughed. "You're unbelievable."
"Stop laughing," she fake sobbed. "It's not funny."
"I would tell you go talk to Cormac because I haven't touched you in four and a half months." Sneering in disgust, I added, "Besides, I'm pretty sure you'd have used it against me by now. Pretty fucking sure you'd be showing, too."
"Not necessarily," she bit out.
"Are you saying that I got you pregnant, Bella?" I deadpanned. "Be very fucking careful how you answer next."
She knew who my father was.
She knew where her lies would land her if she pushed this bullshit on me.
Bella stared me down for the longest moment before grumbling, "No, I'm not pregnant."
"I know," I sneered.
"It was a hypothetical question," she shot back defensively.
"No," I corrected. "It was failed manipulation."
"I love you," she sobbed. "I'm sorry for wanting to make it work."
"Well, don’t love me," I barked, agitated. "Because I don’t and won't ever love you back!" Twisting sideways, I slipped past her and stalked into the hall. "From now on, stay the fuck away from me."
57
Unexpected Field Trips
Shannon
I didn’t go back to my last three classes on Wednesday, and I stayed at home from school on Thursday.
I knew it was wrong to skip school, but I just couldn’t face it.
It was too much.
Bella, Johnny, the stares, the whispers.
It was far too much.
I felt emotionally drained and physically battered, and I needed some time to think things through before going back.
My attempt at taking some breathing space was a complete disaster that consisted of my father losing his head with me last night for burning the dinner and resulted in a punch to the face.
Apparently, I couldn’t cook spaghetti bolognaise for shit.
And apparently, that was crime enough to earn another infamous choking.
I felt like absolute crap this morning, but I would have crawled on my hands and knees out of that house if I had to.
Nothing Bella did to me at school could come close to what he was capable of doing to me at home.
When I finally made it to school – over an hour late because I overslept without the aid of my trusty phone alarm – I all but got my head bitten off by Mr. Mulcah
y, our P.E. teacher, for holding the show up.
"What show?" I had asked, because I honestly didn’t know what the hell was happening.
Apparently, I wasn’t deemed worthy enough of that information because instead of explaining what was happening, Mr. Mulcahy had all but shoved me onto a jampacked school bus and instructed me to find a seat and fast.
Which brought me to my current terror-induced predicament as I stood at the front of the bus, at a complete loss as to what was happening or why I was being forced onto a school bus full of unfamiliar faces.
"Shan!" Claire called out, flagging me over.
Panicked, my eyes sought her out in the third row from the front with Lizzie sitting alongside her.
All the girls on the bus seemed to be sitting up at the front near the driver.
There were only four other girls in my class, and Shelly and Helen were paired up in the seat behind my friends.
Several other girls from sixth year were sitting near them – including a glaring Bella and a huge, dark-haired boy with his arm wrapped around her and his face nuzzling her neck.
Forcing myself to not look at Bella, I scrambled towards Lizzie and Claire.
"What's going on?" I hissed when I reached them.
"It's game day," Claire told me, smile fading. "Remember?"
I stared blankly at her. "Game day what?"
Claire's eyes widened. "Oh my god," she whispered/hissed. "A text went out Tuesday night about it."
"A text?" I croaked out. "I didn’t get any text."
"She's new so she's probably not on the system," Lizzie muttered.
No, I didn’t get the text because my phone was floating in water on Tuesday night.
"What's going on, guys?" I choked out, terrified now. I glanced around nervously.
"The playoff is today," Lizzie explained. "Between Tommen and Royce."
I stared blankly back at her. "Huh?"
"For god's sake, Claire," Lizzie groaned. "I can't believe you didn’t let her know!"
"I thought she knew!" Claire replied, red-faced. "I'm sorry, Shan. I thought you knew the game was today."
"No, no, no," I spluttered. "The Donegal match isn’t until after the holidays." Which were supposed to start today. "Remember?"