She started to reach for the items in his hands. He turned away. Jake, please go home. Youve done enough. I noticed how pronounced your limp is. Youre tired.
He peered back at her. And you arent?
This is my house, not yours.
You helped me. Let me do this for you. I need to be needed almost came out of his mouth, the thought taking him by surprise.
Fine, but all we have to do is cover the offensive words. Josh and I can do a proper job tomorrow. Ill have to go to the store and get some more paint. We dont have enough left in that can to redo the whole porch.
Jake hobbled toward the foyer, still stunned by what he had almost said. True, in his former life that was one of the things that had driven him: to serve and protect. But after what happened to him, hed buried that deep inside because that meant putting himself out there with people in situations he couldnt control. The thought sent shudders down his body.
At the front door, hand on the knob, he closed his eyes, tensing for what often followedthe shakes, the sweating, the fast heartbeat, the gasps for air. Shep rubbed against his good leg. Jake peered into the brown eyes of his service dog. He sat with his head cocked as if he needed Jake to pet him, when in reality it was the other way around.
Sticking the paintbrush into his pocket, Jake hooked the cans handle over the doorknob then bent over to pay some attention to his dog. When he finally rose, he snagged Emmas gaze as she stood back, watching and waiting. The kindness in her expression reached out and took hold of him as though they were embracing again.
All tension faded.
She came toward him. His throat closed at the inner beauty pouring from her. She made him want more than ever to be well. To be the man she deserved.
He opened his mouth to say something but no words formed in his mind. He just stared at her bridging the distance between them.
Emma smiled, radiating joy. I appreciate your help. I dont know what I would have done if Id come home and found this without you here. Thanks.
Still no words for her came into his thoughts.
Jake, are you all right?
He nodded.
Tiny lines creased her forehead. Are you sure?
Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking about how beautiful you are.
Me? She glanced down at her jeans and shirt covered with filth from the cleanup.
Yes. He released a long breath and pivoted to open the door before he kissed her again. When you pick up some more paint, buy a couple of motion-activated security lights. I can install them for you tomorrow. He glanced back at her and grinned. Lets get those words covered up so we can clean up ourselves.
*
Sunday afternoon when Emma saw Jake carry the ladder out of her garage, she froze in midmotion, painting the porch wall. She remembered driving up to the house and finding Sam on the ladder and before she could ask him to get down, watching him turn to see her pulling into the driveway. Then in the blink of an eye he was falling.
Emma squeezed her eyes shut, trying to wipe the memory from her mind forever. But she would never be able to because she had to live with the guilt. Why had she mentioned getting someone to put up Christmas lights?
The paintbrush slipped from her numb fingers and crashed onto the tarp-covered porch.
Mom, you got paint all over you. And you thought I was gonna be messy. Josh laughed and continued working on his section.
She was thankful her son wasnt looking at her because her hands began to tremble. She clasped them together and marched toward Jake. I want to put up the security lights.
Do you know how?
No, but Im sure I can figure it out.
Jake frowned. Why should you when I do?
I dont want you to use the ladder. There, she said it. She couldnt tell him why; she wouldnt tell anyone.
My leg is perfectly all right. Im capable of climbing up and down this ladder.
She folded her arms over her chest. I saw how you were limping after the long day yesterday.
He moved close to hertoo close. And I rested it last night and this morning. Im fine, he said firmly.
I dont think we need a light over the garage. We have one on the porch. That should be enough. She tilted up her chin and dared him to disagree.
Its range doesnt cover this part of your yard. You need both of them. Whats this really about? His gaze drilled into her, straight to her heart. I can do this, Emma.
She looked down. These lights probably wont deter those boys, anyway.
Im asking again whats really… Silence electrified the air for a few seconds. This is about your husband falling off a ladder, isnt it?
She nodded, finally reestablishing eye contact with him. Please find another place to put up the security light besides over the garage.
He clasped her arm, his eyes soft. I understand. I didnt think about that. Youve got a small ladder. How about I put it on the side of the garage? Ill only be a few feet off the ground. Thatll still cover your whole front yard.
Okay. Thanks for understanding.
Of course. Those soft eyes roamed over her face, lingering for a long second on her lips.
Instantly, the picture of her and Jake kissing yesterday replaced the one of her husband falling off the ladder. Heat flashed through her. She backed away. Id better get back to work so we can finish today. She still couldnt look away as she took another step toward the porch.
Finally, he did, picking up the tall ladder and going back into the garage.
Emma put her hands to her face, her cheeks hot beneath her palms. When she looked toward her son, she found him staring at her with a grin on his face. She hurried to occupy herself with completing the job and keeping her attention on her tasknot Jake.
As she painted her side of the porch, Josh kept glancing at her until she asked, Whats the problem?
He giggled. Nothing. In fact, everythings great. Jakes a good man.
Emma averted her face, not wanting her son to see her shocked expression. Yeah, he is.
I know you were scared for him to get on the ladder because of what happened to Dad. He doesnt have seizures.
But he does have panic attacks. I know.
Then dont worry. He isnt walking around with his cane anymore. His legs getting better.
She couldnt answer her son without revealing fears and concerns she didnt want to voice to him or Jakeor even to her best friend. To her relief her son didnt pursue the conversation.
An hour later Emma stood back at the porch to examine the finished paint job. The cream color managed to cover up the black spray paint effectively.
Not a bad job, you two. Jake finished putting the last trash bags of the refuse from the night before in the trunks of their cars.
Josh grinned from ear to ear, highlighting the slash of cream color across his left cheek. They arent gonna win.
Jake settled his hand on Joshs shoulder. Thats right, kiddo. We can clean up messes and paint over graffiti.
The boy gave a thoughtful look. We should return the trash to Liam and Sean.
Emma glanced at the PT Cruiser she would drive out to the landfill with Jake following her in his car. Ill be glad when we dont have to smell those anymore, but we cant resort to what they do. When we do, we stoop to their low level.
But, Mom, they deserve it.
Shes right. Theyll get their due one day.
I want it to be today.
Yeah, it would be nice, but we have to learn patience. As a soldier, I often had to. Rushing to do something isnt always the answer.
Josh frowned. I guess so. He peered at the road. Mom, Carson and his mother are pulling up.
Emma swept around, greeting the two with a smile. Neither had been at church that
day. Shed thought someone might be sick in the family. As they stepped from the car, she said, Hi, what brings you by here?
I wanted to tell you our house got trashed last night, Sandy said. Weve been cleaning up today. I tried calling you earlier to let you know. Sandy scanned the front of Emmas house. What have you been doing?
Cleaning up, too. We just got through with painting the porch to
Cover up nasty words, Sandy interrupted Emma.
She nodded. Did you call the police?
We didnt see it until this morning and yes, we did.
I did, too.
Good. If enough people complain, something will be done about those boys.
Im going to call Craigs and Zachs mothers and see if anything happened to them and let them know to be on the lookout. We need to pray for Liam and his buddies. Something must be wrong for them to feel the need to do something like this.
Mom, Josh said in a voice full of disbelief. We should be praying they get caught and punished.
Carson said, Yeah. Theyre mean.
Sandy placed her arm around Carsons shoulder. I agree they arent being nice, but Mrs. Langfords right. God wants us to forgive.
How can we forget what theyve done to us? Josh scowled.
You dont have to forget, hon. Forgiveness doesnt mean forgetting. Nor does it mean they shouldnt be held accountable.
Sandy headed toward her car, nodding toward Jake. See you on Tuesday. Carson has been enjoying the self-defense classes.
When Sandy and Carson left, Josh went to Emmas side. I dont know how Ill be able to forgive Liam. This all started when he moved here.
I know its hard, but I hope youll try. Can I forgive myself concerning Sams accident? How can I expect my son to forgive if I cant?
Lets go out to the dump and get rid of the last of this, Jake said, cutting into her thoughts.
Josh ran toward Jakes car. Im riding with Jake and Shep.
Is that okay? Hed asked me earlier and I forgot to ask you.
No, I dont want to be alone in the car with the direction of my thoughts lately. Emma faced Jake and couldnt say that. Sure. You two just follow me. As she walked toward her car, she decided she would turn up her music loud to drown out anything threatening to invade her mind. Forgiving another was different from forgiving yourself.
Chapter Ten
Youve totally impressed me with this dinner. Sunday evening Jake relaxed in his chair in Emmas dining room. I love pork chops, but they are even better stuffed with cranberries and apples.
Did you get enough? I fixed extra in case you would like to take one home with you for later in the week. Emma relished the smile of satisfaction on his face. This was the first time I prepared the side dish.
Whats in it? I know feta cheese, tomatoes and spinach but what else?
Orzo and pine nuts. It could be a meal by itself. A nice lunch.
It went well with the meat, but I understand why Josh wouldnt necessarily want it.
Emma laughed. Yeah, it isnt pizza, junk food or spaghetti.
Best suggestion you made was asking me to Sunday dinner. I enjoyed last weeks meal and this one is great, too.
Since last Sunday we were cleaning up the porch, I had to throw something together.
You call making chicken cordon bleu throwing something together? You could open your own restaurant.
No, I couldnt. I dont have a head for the financial aspects that go with a business. I hold my breath each month, hoping that my checkbook will balance within a few dollars. If it does, then Im happy. Emma put her cloth napkin on the table and rose.
You dont look for the mistake so it reconciles with your bank statement?
Nope. I guess you do.
Yep. It would drive me crazy if I was off.
That doesnt surprise me. You like order. She took his plate and stacked it on hers.
And you like chaos? I havent seen that. Let me help you clear the table. He started to stand.
Emma waved him back. I have crčme brűlée. I dont always make dessert, but I had some extra time. I promised Josh I would save him some. This he does like. Stay right there. Ill be back in a minute.
She walked into the kitchen and scanned the room. Pans and pots were still sitting on the stove. Ingredients were left on the countertop. Shed even forgotten to shut a cabinet door.
Is this what you mean by chaos? Jake asked behind her, amusement sprinkling his words.
She gave him a smile over her shoulder. You were supposed to stay seated then you would never find out about my deep, dark secret. Itll all get cleaned up afterward, but when Im in my creative mode, I let everything go until later.
Then the very least I can do is help you later.
She swung around and gently nudged him back into the dining room. Sit.
Jake glanced at Shep nearby. Is this how she trained you?
The dogs ears perked forward, his tail wagging.
She closed the door between the kitchen and dining room, hurried toward the refrigerator and retrieved the dessert. After she presented the crčme brűlée to Jake, she sat and waited for him to take a bite.
Mmm. I think this is the best crčme brűlée Ive ever had.
This is one of my specialties. Im glad you like it.
I can certainly understand why Josh wanted you to save him some. Smooth. Rich. When hed finished half his dessert, he cleared his throat. I have a favor to ask.
I have some extra dessert you can take home, too.
Thats good, but that isnt the favor. He swallowed hard, his jaw line tensing. Its about tomorrow evening. Is it possible you can go to Caring Canines when I go for the therapy group? I know Ive been getting out more and driving some, but I dont know what to expect tomorrow night.
Yes and Ill ask Miss Baker to watch Josh.
In case theres a problem?
Yes. I know you dont want him to know about your PTSD. Hed figure it out if he went with us.
Jake exhaled a deep breath. Thank you. I feel like Im saying that to you all the time.
Its a two-way street. This week has been quiet. Maybe the police visiting Sean and Liam was exactly what was needed to make them back off.
He slid the last bite of his dessert into his mouth, frowning.
You dont think so?
Usually it isnt that easy.
Josh heard that Sean was grounded for a week.
How about Liam? The frown remained on Jakes face.
I dont know about him.
He hasnt said anything to Josh at school?
I made Josh promise to tell me if he did, and Ive asked every day. He said no. And there hasnt been any retaliation on Craig, Zach or Carson, either.
Then we wait and see.
She loved hearing him say we, but she didnt want him to feel obligated to help them. He had enough to deal with, and she felt more and more indebted. It was harder to fight her growing feelings for Jake when she felt she owed him so much. Last week when shed seen him with the ladder, she remembered all the reasons she could not fall in love with the man. This really isnt your battle.
Yes, it is. Remember the window. That makes it my business. Im sure Liam and Sean arent happy Im working with the boys. Jake pushed to his feet. Lets clean up.
Emma rinsed the dishes and he put them in the dishwasher. She passed him a plate. Have you decided about the Veterans Day celebration?
Not yet. I havent told them no, but I want to see how the therapy sessions go. I have to feel I can do it. If I dont, I wont.
I understand. Youve got some time.
Not much. Dad phoned today and left a m
essage about the ceremony and medal. I need to return his call soon.
Would he come to the celebration?
I hope not. I dont want him to.
Emma realized that one of Jakes problems was his relationship with his father. The man should have supported him rather than act as if Jake should be able to overcome PTSD as quickly as snapping his fingers. The general should know better because Jake certainly wasnt the first soldier to come back from combat facing PTSD. Either way, she would back his decision.
Then a thought struck her. Does your father know about the PTSD?
No. I dont want him to know.
Why? Hes a soldier. Surely he knows others dealing with it. Maybe he could help.
You dont know the general. No good would come from his knowing. The finality in his voice declared the conversation over.
Emmas heart hurt for Jake. At least Ben had their mother and father supporting him. That only reinforced her determination to be there for Jake. He needed it.
*
Jake observed the four boys practicing, each pair trading turns throwing the punch and blocking it. Thats a great block, Craig. The more you do it the more natural it will feel, and youll automatically block the hit before it lands on you. Okay, I want you all to do some curls and push-ups then cool down. Class is almost over.
It cant have been an hour, Josh said as he lay on the hardwood floor in the dining room that Jake had turned into a minigym for the boys.
Jake glanced out the picture window. Afraid so. I see your mom pulling up in front.
She must be early. Josh worked on his tenth curl.
Keep going. I have to get the door. Jake made his way to the foyer and let Emma into his house. Why the frown? Something wrong?
I heard back from Craigs mother, Kim, about what the mechanic said was wrong with her car this morning. Sugar in the gas tank.
Did it happen to anyone elses?
No. I called to check, but Kims car sits out in the driveway at night. The others park theirs in the garage.
Jake hung back from the dining room and lowered his voice. Did Kim report it to the police?
Her Holiday Hero Page 12