A Fine Line

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A Fine Line Page 4

by Emma Leigh Reed


  Grace doodled on the paper. There was no list started, just wistful thoughts that she couldn’t bring herself to put to paper. A bucket list wasn’t the same as realistic dreams. Dreams were obtainable and opened up your life to improvement. Grace stood suddenly and went to the kitchen. She threw the paper on the counter and sighed, rinsing out the wine glass. Maybe TV would take her mind of Xander and all that she really wanted. Did she want Xander? Or just the image of what she could do if she let her hair down?

  Chapter 6

  Grace awoke to the raining pounding on the roof. Turning towards her window, she took in the grayness of the day. She guessed today was the perfect time to start packing up some of her stuff. Her mood matched the color of the day.

  She had no sooner showered and gotten dressed when she heard the doorbell ring. Opening the door, she found Xander, water dripping from his dark brown hair. He held out a box from Daisy’s Bakery.

  “Breakfast?”

  “My favorite indulgence.” Grace reached for the box and gestured for him to enter.

  “Maybe a towel would help me not drip all over your carpets.”

  “Of course.” Grace returned in a jiff, towel in her hand. “Here, but don’t worry about the carpets. They will be cleaned as soon as I’m done packing.”

  Xander followed her into the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe as Grace busied herself making coffee. “You’re moving?”

  “Well, yeah. I’m going to have to move back into my mom’s house.”

  “Why?”

  Grace turned to face him. “Because it’s what she wanted.”

  Xander shook his head. “Do you always do what you’re told?”

  “No, yesterday I got on a motorcycle.” Grace smirked.

  “Very funny.” Xander dropped the towel on the back of chair and stepped close to Grace.

  “I have to do what is expected of me.” Grace whispered.

  “There’s that word again, expected, expectations…you are never going to please everyone. When do you do what makes Grace happy?”

  “Who says I’m not happy?” Grace shot back, crossing her arms in front of her.

  Xander reached up and pulled the elastic from her hair, freeing her hair from the ponytail. “I think when you pull your hair back, you are in your pleasing everyone else mode and not yourself.”

  Grace reached for the elastic. His fingers closed around her hand and held it to his chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  Xander grinned. “Who said doing what makes you happy is the easy thing? People get pissed at you when you stop putting everyone first.”

  “You sound like you know that from experience.” Grace wanted to pull her hand away, but she felt his heartbeat and it pulled her to lean closer to him. Her face warmed as her free hand went to his bicep. She looked up and met his eyes. Heat shot out of them and he groaned softly, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her against him. His lips caressed hers, the gentleness pulling at her. Her tongue danced with his. The beep of the coffee maker signaling it was ready broke them apart. Xander leaned his forehead against hers.

  “Coffee’s ready.”

  Grace nodded. “How do you take it?”

  “Black.”

  Grace poured two mugs and doctored hers with sugar and cream. She handed the mugs to Xander and turned to pull a couple of plates from the cupboard. She opened the box and inhaled the scent of the fresh baked glazed donuts. “My favorite.”

  * * *

  Xander sipped his coffee and watched Grace bite into the donut. Glaze coated her lips and her tongue ran along them, licking up every drop. Xander shifted as his jeans became uncomfortable while he watched her. Her eyes half closed and he could envision her face as he brought her to orgasm. He shook his head. He felt like a hormone crazed teenager. This wasn’t just some girl that would roll into bed with him. He didn’t want her to. He wanted her more than just physically – he wanted to know what made her enjoy a donut like it was better than sex, wanted to know her deep-seeded fears and suppressed desires that she felt she couldn’t let go of and achieve because of what everyone else thought.

  Grace pushed the box towards him. “Don’t make me enjoy these by myself.”

  Xander smiled. “But it's heaven watching you. Do you realize how you let go and just enjoy it? What else do you enjoy like that?”

  “Not much, really. I love teaching, but even that has taken its toll over the past couple of years. In taking care of Mom, and teaching during the day, I’m exhausted. This summer vacation will be good to rejuvenate me before I welcome my new second grade class in September.”

  “Second graders, like seven year olds?” Xander cringed.

  Grace laughed out loud. “You don’t like kids?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You’re facial expression did. How can you not love them at that age?”

  Xander shook his head. “I like kids, but a roomful of seven year olds seems overwhelming to me. They aren’t exactly quiet at that age.”

  Grace reached for another donut. “You really shouldn’t have brought these. These are my kryptonite.”

  Xander pulled the box out of her reach. “Then show some willpower. I selfishly bought them for myself.”

  Grace stood and snagged another donut. “Don’t even think of trying to keep these from me.” She grinned at him. “So what are you doing here this early, anyway?”

  “Well, my plan was to steal away today and do something, but the weather has changed my plans a bit. The motorcycle isn’t the most comfortable in the rain.”

  “What if I already had plans?”

  “Did you? Besides packing, which I can already tell you are not thrilled about?”

  Grace finished her coffee. “Well, not exactly, but I could have.”

  Xander grabbed her hand. “So what would you have done if you had made plans?”

  Grace played with the mug, refusing to look up. “I don’t know. I don’t live a very exciting life.”

  “What do you want to do, but never had the guts to do?”

  Grace glanced up. She sat back and closed her eyes, pondering the question. “I don’t know. There is a lot of stuff I would love to do, but it’s just not…appropriate.”

  “Oh, do tell. What inappropriate thing does the good girl Grace want to do?”

  Grace cringed. “Good girl? Really?”

  “Yup, there is that same horrified look you had at the funeral when you overhead people talking about what a good girl you were. Come on. Talk to me. Horrify me.” He grinned at her.

  “Well, I want to travel.”

  “That’s not something that would shock people. You can do better than that.”

  Grace stood and rinsed her mug. She leaned against the sink, facing Xander. He was serious. Could she reveal her deepest secret wishes? “Maybe cut all my hair short and dye it red.”

  Xander shook his head. “That’s not shocking, except it would be a shame if you cut that beautiful mane you have.”

  Grace sighed. “See, I don’t have any shocking things I want to do.” She moved to the living room and straightened pillows on the couch.

  Xander followed her and watched her nervously flutter about the room. He knew she wanted more. He could tell by the way she enjoyed her day yesterday on the motorcycle, something she felt was not the good girl thing to do. He reached for her hand and pulled her down to sit on the couch beside him.

  “Talk to me, Grace.” He entwined his fingers with her. “Share with me what you want to do.”

  She tightened her grip on his hand. “I always wanted a tattoo.” Her voice was so low Xander thought he imagined it until she glanced up at him.

  “What kind of tattoo?”

  Grace’s face glowed as a blush spread. “A small rose on my shoulder.”

  Xander grinned. “Then do it.”

  Grace’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy?”

  “Why not? No one will see it unl
ess you want them to. We are the only two that ever have to know you did it.”

  A tingling ran through Grace. Excitement? Could she actually do it? “Do you have a tattoo?”

  Xander nodded. He lifted his short sleeve to show off his shoulder. The lion was high on his bicep. Grace ran her fingers over it. She raised her questioning eyes to his. “It’s to remind me that I’m stronger than I used to think I was.”

  “You needed to be reminded you are strong?”

  “Of course. We all have our insecurities, Grace.”

  “Let’s do it.” Grace stood and pulled at Xander’s hand.

  “It’s still raining.”

  “They don’t do tattoos outside, right? Do you know where to go? Come on, we’ll take my car.” Grace’s voice rambled on as she left the room to go grab her sneakers.

  “Are you sure? It’s permanent. Be sure it’s what you want to do.” Xander reasoned, but in his mind he applauded her choice.

  Grace returned to the living room, sneakers on and jacket in hand. She threw her car keys at Xander. “Let’s go.”

  “Grace?”

  She smiled. “Yes, I want to do this. You’re going to be beside me, right?”

  Xander grinned. “Absolutely. There’s a great tattoo parlor that my friend owns a couple of towns over.”

  Xander glanced over occasionally as they drove as Grace sat silently. Xander didn’t answer, just simply nodded as the quiet words she spoke, “Mom would roll over in her grave.”

  * * *

  Xander glanced over at Grace. She was relaxed, much like yesterday. His mind drifted to the moment he had decided to get his tattoo. He had made the decision out of rebellion, rebellion of the rigid life he had been told he would live. His parents didn’t know about it, but it had been liberating. It was like it gave him permission to do what he wanted, and yes, it gave him the courage and the strength to live his life as he wanted. He wanted Grace to find that same courage. To break from the mold she felt she had to conform to.

  “Are you ready for this?” Xander broke through Grace’s thoughts.

  “Yeah, I believe so.”

  “Don’t do it if you have any doubts.” Xander gave a weak warning. He wanted her to do this.

  “Really? You are the bad boy trying to get me to break away from the good girl image and now you’re telling me not to do it?”

  “Bad boy? I’m not a bad boy.”

  “Oh, you are. A bad boy is a simply someone that would make a parent cringe if you brought them home.” Grace was so matter of fact that Xander choked back his laughter.

  “Abigail would have cringed if you brought me home?”

  “Well, from appearances she would have. You showed up to her funeral in a leather jacket and jeans.”

  Xander feigned shock. “Right, and I do believe you put me in my place as being inappropriate.”

  “I’m sorry. I never should have said that to you.”

  Xander waved off the apology. They continued on in silence until Xander parked next to the strip mall. “We’re here.”

  Grace looked around. Her stomach fluttered as butterflies took over. Xander squeezed her hand. “Ready?”

  She nodded. As they entered the tattoo parlor, Grace appreciated how tastefully decorated it was. Artwork hung around a small waiting room filled with comfy chairs and a couch. A spiced candle burned in the corner.

  “Xander, my man.” A deep voice came from across the room.

  “Dave. It’s been a long time.”

  The two men shook hands. “You ought to return phone calls once in a while and it wouldn’t be so long.”

  Xander grinned. “You know me, never in one spot long enough to return a phone call.”

  “Looking for a new tatt?”

  “Not me, my friend, Grace, here.”

  Dave turned towards Grace and took her in head to toe. “What are you looking for?”

  Grace turned towards Xander and at his smile, she took a deep breath. “A rose, small, on my shoulder.”

  “You sure?” Dave’s skepticism came through.

  Xander stepped closer to Grace. “You’re the best, Dave. That’s why we’re here.”

  Dave nodded. “True. I’m the best.” He pulled out a book and flipped through pages until he came to various different pictures of roses. “Choose what you want and we’ll get started.”

  Grace glanced at the different pictures. There were so many. She finally decided on a small open rose, no stem. Xander concurred it was the best choice for a first tattoo. She giggled. “You think I’ll get another one after this.”

  “I think once you get one, you’ll love it and definitely will want another.”

  “But you only have one.”

  Xander shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted another. Just haven’t decided on what I really want.”

  Grace slipped the strap of her tank top down and off her arm, baring her shoulder. She trembled slightly as Dave washed the area. Xander pulled a chair over in front of her and grabbed her hand. “Nervous?”

  “A little, not because I’m unsure, but just…”

  Xander nodded. “You’re going to love it.”

  The next hour flew by as the buzzing of the equipment and the tiny needle stings vibrated through Grace. She shook off the feeling of shame and pushed away the thoughts of what would Mom think. Dave finally handed her a mirror and had her stand with her back to the full length mirror on the wall. Grace raised the hand mirror and looked. The red rose was surrounded by redness with the irritation of her skin, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the pedals, small, delicate and perfect – absolutely perfect.

  “I love it.” Grace grinned at Xander. “What do you think?”

  “It’s perfect for you.”

  Dave covered it with a gauze bandage, and gave Grace instructions for care for the next two weeks. “If you have questions, feel free to call me or ask Xander. He knows what to do.”

  “Thanks.” Grace pulled out her wallet.

  “I got it.” Xander threw down cash on the counter. “Always impressed with your work, Dave. Let’s get together soon. I’m around for a while.”

  “You staying at home?” Dave frowned.

  “Nope. In a local hotel.” Xander was vague and shook his head slightly at Dave. Xander said his goodbye before grabbing Grace’s hand and walked her outside. Xander waited for the onslaught of questions from Grace.

  “My treat for lunch.” Grace looked around. “Where’s the best hole in the wall around here?”

  “Hole in the wall?”

  “Yup, you seem to have a knack of knowing the best places to eat that aren’t well advertised.”

  Xander nodded. “I do. Let’s walk. Do you like Italian?”

  “Yup.”

  They strolled hand in hand down the street, stopping every so often to look in windows of stores. They finally came to a small alley off the main street and Xander pulled her in that direction. “This is it.”

  They stopped in front of a red door in the middle of the alley. A small sign, Mia’s, indicated the restaurant.

  “Wow, this is literally a hole in the wall.”

  Xander chuckled as he followed her inside.

  Chapter 7

  Grace’s shoulder ached, but it was a welcome discomfort. She looked at it as a stepping stone to a new life. Secretly she was giddy with the thought that her mom would be furious at her for getting the tattoo. She and Xander had spent the afternoon laughing and chatting over wine and pasta. She had never felt so relaxed. He brought out a carefree spirit in her that she had thought was long gone.

  “Okay, Gracie-girl, what else is on your bucket list?”

  “What makes you think I have a bucket list?” Grace sipped another glass of wine. She was feeling a little tipsy.

  “Don’t you?”

  She giggled. “You know, I was going to start one last night, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it.” Where did that come from? She never shared things about herself with oth
ers.

  Xander sat back and watched her. “So what didn’t you write down that you want to do?”

  Grace shook her head. “I can’t tell you all my secrets, especially when you share nothing about yourself.” She raised her glass in toast. “Here’s to being mysterious.”

  Xander clicked his glass against hers. “You no longer want to know who I am?”

  “Nope. I don’t want to, don’t need to. I decided I like just hanging out with you and not having to know or have control over everything.”

  “And there is a huge thing…Grace lets go of control. I’m shocked.” He sat forward. “I’ll share something with you. I’ve always wanted to travel abroad, but found it unappealing to do by myself.”

  “I understand that. I hate doing things by myself, yet that is the way it always seems to be…me, by myself.”

  “We should plan to travel, the two of us.” Xander played with his water glass, never making eye contact.

  “It’s Friday. How about we get through the weekend without killing each other and we’ll talk about traveling later.” She gracefully navigated through the awkward moment. Her heart had sped up at Xander’s words. He would be the perfect traveling companion, bringing out her adventurous side and encouraging her to rebel against what she wanted so badly to forget, which was her whole life before meeting him. Her stomach clenched in anticipation as she thought of where the rest of the afternoon would take them. She didn’t care where she ended up, as long as Xander was beside her.

  They spent the rest of the day wandering the streets, checking out antique shops and just enjoying each other’s company. The rain lifted and warmth showered down on them as the sun brightened the sky.

  “Why aren’t you staying at your home?” Grace asked out of the blue as they headed back to the car.

  “It’s easier to stay at a hotel. I don’t really see eye to eye with my parents.”

 

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