“What’s to talk about? We have no choice but to get the business up and going.” Grace pushed off the couch and paced in front of the fireplace. “I know what you’re going to say so don’t. I can’t even think about that right now.”
Bob stood. “I think you two need to talk this through. If, and when, you decide to move forward with the business, I’ll be around to help you with the necessary paperwork. But remember, there is a time crunch, but that doesn’t mean you have to go through with it.” He shook Xander’s hand and turned towards Grace. He pulled her into a hug. “Grace, use your heart when you think about this decision. Abigail’s intent was never for you to be unhappy.”
Grace kissed his cheek and nodded. She watched Bob walk out before closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She turned to face Xander and held her hand up for him not to speak. “Why are you doing this? Do you want me to lose everything?”
“Of course not. I want you to be happy.” Xander took a step towards her. “You were the one that said you never wanted this. You wanted to teach your ‘kids’ and not be stuck in this place. Your words.” He sighed. “Grace, I want to see that smile when you try something new. You never smile anymore.”
Grace shook her head. “I know that is what I said, but this is all I have left of my family. Don’t you get that?” She turned to leave the room, turning back at the doorway. “Don’t you dare try to take that away from me.”
Xander plopped down on the couch. How did that backfire on him? He wanted so badly just for her to be happy, to go back to that moment when he was getting to know her.
Chapter 27
Grace’s hands tingled. She clenched a fist and released, then repeated again and again to try and release the stress building up in her. She had no idea what she had been doing. Everything in the past couple of weeks was a blur and now Xander wanted out. She knew he wasn’t the type to settle down. He said it, but he wanted out of the inheritance, which would make it easier for him to run. Alone. That is what she would be if he left. That simple word left her feeling cold inside—cold and scared to death.
She pulled open her closet door and reached for the pile of pictures up on the shelf. She sat down on her bed with the pictures and slowly perused them. Pictures of her mom and dad, pictures of her as a child, her and her mom, her with her dad. All of them happy, smiling. Grace wiped away a tear as it rolled down her cheek. She had a good childhood and suddenly everything was ripped apart. Her mom had been in love with Xander’s dad before her dad came into the picture. Would Grace even be alive had her mom been with John and stayed with him?
Her whole life seemed like a lie at this moment. She pulled the last picture of her and her mom close to her chest as she lay back on the bed and cried. Tears washed away the anger directed at Xander and left her feeling empty. What did she want out of life? Did she want to continue to live here in her childhood home? Not really, but she had been looking forward to starting the therapeutic riding center for sensory needs kids with the hope that after the business got up and running that she could go back to teaching her beloved second grade.
Grace didn’t know how much time had passed when she finally stood up and put the pictures away. She must have drifted off and slept a bit. Her stomach gnawed at her as hunger took over. She pulled open the door and there was a box outside her door. She reached down, pulling off the cover. Inside she found a dozen yellow and red roses mixed with baby’s breath, the scent bombarding her as she inhaled deeply.
A small card tucked in the side caught her eye. She pulled it out and read.
I simply love you.
Tears welled up in her eyes again. Xander. Only he would do this and cut straight to the heart of things. She had been fighting hard to keep him at arm’s length, but her heart screamed at her to just let him love her and for her to love him in return. She needed to tell him about the blackouts.
She heard a curse from downstairs and picked up the box to hurry down to the kitchen. She stopped short as she saw Xander wandering from cupboard to cupboard, slamming doors.
“What are you doing?” Grace stepped to the bar and put down the flowers. “Thank you by the way.”
Xander turned. “You’re welcome.” He paused and leaned against the counter. “Since you don’t cook, you want to tell me why you rearranged everything?”
Grace looked around in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
Xander opened a couple of the cupboard doors and pointed. “Look. Nothing is the same. Are you trying to get me to leave? Because that won’t do it, Although I will say, I will put it all back the way I find it easiest, since I’m cooking.”
Grace went to the cupboard over the refrigerator to get a vase. They weren’t there. “I didn’t do this.”
Xander snorted. “Who did then? The ghost that apparently is living in this house.”
“Don’t be like that…I didn’t…I don’t think…” Grace trailed off. Did she do this? When would she have done it? Grace busied herself with preparing the roses to go in water. She glanced up when Xander placed a vase in front of her.
“Look, I don’t want to fight. I want to figure this out so you’re happy.” Xander reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. “Don’t you realize that? It’s always been about your happiness.”
Grace nodded. “I don’t know how to…” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m afraid to let you in, Xander. Nothing good ever comes from me allowing someone in my heart.”
“I get you’ve been hurt. We both have, but I promise it’s worth the risk of loving.” Xander raised her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “Just think about it.”
Grace stood there staring at the roses as Xander left the room. She raised a yellow and a red bloom to her nose and inhaled. How did he know that these two colors mixed together were her ultimate favorite? At the thought of it, her heart melted just a bit more. She finished arranging the flowers, allowing her thoughts to drift to Xander and the what if’s.
She caught a glimpse of people around the barn. She started for the remaining ashes hoping to get some answers from the fire chief. She stopped short as she got closer. Conflict ran through her, making her stomach clench in fear. They had been so close to getting the business that her mom had wanted up and running and now it was over. Defeat dragged her shoulders down. She needed to give up on this. They would lose her family’s house, but was Xander right – that love could be worth the risk? She had never felt this way about anyone before, not even when she thought she was in love.
Xander consumed her every thought. She would find herself smiling during the day just at the thought of him. She knew deep down in her gut she couldn’t walk away from him. A sigh of resignation escaped her. The real question was, should she give up following her mother’s wishes just so she could be happy? When did it become about her and not trying to please everyone else, even in death?
Grace approached the firemen working around the barn, making sure embers were watered down. “Is the chief here?”
A young firefighter glanced up. “No, ma’am. He went back to town to finish up some paperwork. He mentioned coming back later to talk to you.”
Grace nodded. “Thanks.” She turned back towards the house. The waiting game never ended. Waiting on the fire chief, waiting on the time lapse to do Abigail’s wishes, waiting on…on herself to make a decision about what needed to be done.
She pondered her options back to the house. She stepped into the kitchen and her eyes came to rest on the roses Xander had given her. The icy walls around her heart melted just a little bit more every time she looked at them. What was she afraid of? Yes, it was true she had been hurt in the past, but nothing that she couldn’t bounce back from. It was more the way Xander made her feel that scared her. The feeling that she could do anything she put her mind to. She was more afraid of success than she was failure. Maybe that was why it was easy to think about throwing in the towel on the therapeutic riding lessons th
at they had planned. It would be just another failure if they gave up on it, and Grace was used to that feeling.
Success, on the other hand, scared her. What if she did make it? And was really successful? It would change her life forever, and others’ too, if the success was done right. Could she allow herself to be happy and to wonder what would happen if she allowed success to happen? Was she sabotaging her happiness?
Chapter 28
Xander walked through the woods, listening to the birds and trying to find his center again. Grace had him off balance and not thinking straight. If only his father hadn’t been involved with Abigail, then there wouldn’t be so much distrust from Grace. Or would there? Xander came to a large boulder under a canopy of trees. Shaded and cool, he climbed on the rock and lay back.
He needed to reach Grace somehow. He didn’t care about the inheritance, but he didn’t want her to lose it if that is what she truly wanted. But somehow, someway he needed to reach her and let her know how much he had fallen in love with her. Her smile, her infectious laughter when she tried something new, the excitement overriding the fear in her eyes at new adventures, and most of all the banter the two of them had. She could bring him to tears with laughter at her wit and amazing sense of humor.
She could pull no punches when they were at ease with each other telling him exactly what she thought, being open and honest about always feeling that she had to do the right thing, yet she shared with him her hopes and dreams, ones he knew she had never shared before. He would court her if he had to, as old fashion as that sounded, he would win her heart over with flowers and poetry, with being sincere and showing her how much she truly meant and what an amazing woman she was, despite the way she felt as an outsider in her own home.
Love would become infectious and he could only hope it would be allowed to bloom between them before they were torn apart by this ridiculous plan of Abigail’s. There had to be more to it. In all the years he had known Abigail, he never would have imagined her pulling off something so cruel and rigid that could ensure her daughter lose everything.
With renewed hope in his heart, Xander started back to the house. He would give Grace her space, at least for the moment, until a plan formed for his wooing her. He would make her see how truly incredible she was.
The following few days passed quickly with meetings with Bob and what needed to be done to rebuild the barn. They were able to postpone the arrival of the horses. Although Grace and Xander kept a distance from each other and didn’t talk other than about the project, Xander had hope that even when they talked, that Grace would be open to him. He had been wracking his brain on how to reach her when the idea came to him.
“I’m headed out for the day, Grace. Do you need anything?” Xander leaned against the doorframe of her bedroom.
Grace glanced up and shook her head no before looking back down at the book she was reading.
Xander sighed. “I’ll be back later than.”
* * *
Grace simply nodded. She waited until she heard the door shut before she put the book down. It had been a tough few days, keeping Xander at arm’s length when she wanted to melt against him and just let him fight all the problems for her. She wanted to give up and run away with him, in hopes of getting back to the way they had been when they were first getting to know each other.
She had made the tough choice to put the wall up and leave it. The roses had been a nice touch and almost had her, but she couldn’t fold into the romanticism that Xander seemed to be bringing on. She needed to get through the next couple of years and she was determined that she would let her guard down only after they had achieved Mom’s dream.
Xander had certainly stepped up the past few days, taking on all the phones calls and responsibility of arranging for the barn to be rebuilt. A crew was out there working now. The hammering and saws cutting through the quietness were a constant reminder of the setback they suffered.
The Chief reported slight clues of a possible arson, but it wasn’t cut and dry and the fire marshall was hesitant to label it as such. Grace was afraid it would soon be a thing of the past, unsolved and they would never know. In her gut, she knew that someone was behind it and for once she was relieved to know for sure it wasn’t her and a blackout moment. The frustration level was something she was learning to deal with, but she longed for simpler days when her mom was alive and they could just sit and talk. The irony was not lost on her that she wouldn’t be in this predicament if her mother still lived.
The ringing doorbell brought Grace out of her daydreaming. As she reached the door, she took a deep breath before opening it. They didn’t have many visitors here. She couldn’t imagine who would be on the other side. She swung open the door to come face to face with John Stevens.
“Grace.”
“Xander’s not here.” Grace’s tone chilled the air between them.
“Well, good. I’m not here to see Sebastian, but you instead.” John offered a tentative smile.
Grace paused. Spurred by her upbringing, she stepped back and gestured for John to step into the house. As she closed the door behind him, she tried to clear her mind, as it was a whirlwind of possibilities of what he could possibly want to talk to her about. Did he want to offer her a way out of this mess? Insist that she stay out of Xander’s life?
“Grace?” His soft voice broke through her thoughts.
“Excuse my manners. Please, right this way.” She led the way to the living room. She perched on the end of the couch and waited until John had settled into the easy chair.
John cleared his throat. “I don’t know really where to start. I’m here because…”
Grace waited. “I’m not going anywhere, Mr. Stevens. This was my mother’s house and I intend to keep it in the family.”
John’s eyes widened. “You think I want you to leave? Of course not.”
“Well, what could you possibly want? I can’t imagine this was an easy place for you to visit, it being beneath you and all.”
John shook his head. “Grace, I know I have that reputation, but please let me explain. No, this isn’t easy for me, but not for the reasons you are insinuating.”
Grace sat back on the couch. She kept her guard up, although she was intrigued as to what Xander’s dad could possibly want here.
“I don’t know even where to start. Grace, I know you found the letters from me to your mom.”
Grace nodded and waited for him to continue.
“I loved Abigail. She was the one person who I could be myself with and I blew it.”
Grace closed her eyes and tried to picture her mom with John. “I don’t understand why you are here, Mr. Stevens.”
“John, please. I know this probably is out of the blue, but I need to explain.”
Grace nodded. “Okay, go ahead.”
John stood and paced the room. “Abigail was the love of my life and we really had something, but I allowed my father to stop it. I was not strong, not like Sebastian, Xander.” He paused and faced her. “Abigail and I had the chance to talk after your dad died. And she forgave me, Grace. I want you to forgive me, too.”
“You don’t need my forgiveness.”
John sat down on the edge of the couch next to Grace. “I do. Grace, I want this to stop, this feuding between families. I see the way Sebastian, Xander, lights up when he says your name. He loves you and you are good for him. I have never seen my son want to put down roots and actually be involved in anything. You bring out the best in him, you make him a better man.”
“Mr. Stevens, we were thrown into this by Abigail. Xander and I didn’t have a choice.” Grace clenched her hands together. “I don’t understand why she would do this.”
John covered Grace’s hands with his hand and patted hers gently. “Grace, Abigail knew how it tore me apart not to be a part of my son’s life. I listened to my wife and sent him away. It killed me every day not having contact with him.”
“Why then?”
John sighed. “What
I’m about to tell you is in no way a reflection on your mom. Abigail was a saint and she didn’t deserve what I did to her.”
“I know you got Mrs. Stevens pregnant while you were dating Mom.”
John shook his head. “No. Elizabeth said I got her pregnant and I went along with my father’s wishes to marry her so there wouldn’t be a scandal. Dale is not my child.”
“Then why? Why did you allow Abigail to believe that?”
“Because I was a coward and I didn’t know what else to do. She didn’t deserve the way I left things and she certainly didn’t deserve the way my father treated her. Your mother had more refinement and dignity than anyone I have ever known.”
“I don’t understand. Why are you telling me this?”
John thought for a moment. “Because I want you to understand what a fool I was and how sorry I am. Abigail and I became friends again after your Dad died. She kept me informed of what Sebastian was up to and she gave him what I couldn’t.”
“Your wife must have been furious.”
“She didn’t know. And I’m not saying that was the right thing to do, but let’s be honest. Elizabeth is a snob and quite frankly a bitch. She was the perfect one for the family according to my father, God rest his soul, but he was wrong. I played along with the charade because I was an idiot and didn’t have the courage to stand up to my father. I was wrong, Grace, so wrong, and I wish I could turn back the time and change it all.”
Grace nodded. She got it, but she didn’t. It brought more questions than answers and she didn’t want to think about it.
“I just still don’t understand why you think I need to know this.” Grace held her breath. Did Xander put him up to coming here.
“I can see it in your eyes. No, Sebastian doesn’t know I’m here.” John sat back. “I’m here because you need to know I’m thrilled Sebastian has you in his life and he would never want my ‘blessing’ because we are so far apart right now. Something I hope to change someday. But, Grace, he loves you and you are the best thing that has happened to him. It’s time for this feud to end between our families. It has gone on long enough. Don’t let it ruin another generation of love.”
A Fine Line Page 13