by John Lenahan
‘Oh, shut up and lie down, Conor, I just need someone to hold.’
I lay down next to her and she placed her head on my chest. We didn’t speak. Her hair tickled my nose but I didn’t mind. It was what she needed and to tell the truth, it was what I needed too. Just before I fell asleep I had a scary thought. I imagined Sally standing over us with her arms crossed, saying, ‘And just what is going on here?’
That night I had another vivid dream but this one was not about The Land, it was about the Real World. I saw buses and hamburger joints, sweet shops, TV sets, traffic lights, shopping malls, and Sally was everywhere. I didn’t see these things in a bad light. I missed them. This was my home–or at least it used to be my home. Is The Land my home now? I asked myself. Do I fit in here? Do I fit in there? The Real World was all I had known and I loved it. Had I lost it? I didn’t want to.
Essa wasn’t there when Gerard woke me–thank the gods. I didn’t want to have to explain that. It was long before dawn. He handed me a cup of tea that made every cell in my body stand at attention. ‘Come and get something to eat, Oisin wants to talk to us.’
There was a big cauldron of porridge on the fire. It was stodgy but it did the trick. I was glad to see Fergal there–he looked OK.
Dad stood up and put on his leadership face. ‘The Leprechauns have left already. They are going to try to sabotage the Golden Circle from the outside. The map shows us that there are interconnecting gold lines buried in the courtyard. Essa, Araf and Fergal, it is your job to sever them where they meet by the central well. Deirdre and Nieve, you go to the Chamber of Runes and prepare for my Choosing. Conor, you are with me, we have to find my hand.’
‘Where is it?’
‘Cialtie has taken Finn’s bedroom. It must be in there. Any questions?’
‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘How are we going to get into the castle?’
‘You are going to be delivered personally,’ said Gerard, ‘by the finest winemaker in The Land.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
Born Ready
Never in my entire life have I ever been so uncomfortable. When Gerard told me that he was going to smuggle us into the castle in empty wine barrels, I thought we would hop in just before we got there. Oh no, Dad insisted that we hide in them for the entire three-hour journey to Castle Duir. He wanted to make sure we were not spotted en route. Which was fair enough, but three hours! The porridge I ate for breakfast was sitting in my stomach like a rock. I had a scary moment when I thought I was going to see it again. I cursed Dahy for cooking it and then I cursed him again for devising a plan that put me in here and allowed him (along with Gerard) to sit comfortably up front. Every bump jarred me like an ice cube in a cocktail shaker, and with every one of those bumps I knocked my head into the side of the barrel. At one point we went over a rock that was so big I hit my head on the lid, and howled. Fergal was in the barrel next to me. ‘Shut up,’ he said, ‘I’m trying to get some sleep.’
‘Sleep!’ I shouted over. ‘How can you sleep when your head is being bounced around like a pinball?’
‘What’s a pinball?’
‘Never mind.’
‘Put the blanket next to your head,’ he said, ‘then it’s not so bad.’
‘I don’t have a blanket.’
‘You are travelling three hours in a barrel and you didn’t bring a cushion? I thought you were smart. Didn’t you say you went to a place of learning in the Real World?’
‘They didn’t have any courses on how to sneak into castles,’ I said.
‘Doesn’t sound like a very good school to me. Now will you please keep the groaning down.’
I suffered in silence. I actually started wishing the cart would drive over a huge boulder that would knock me out. Another concussion would have been a small price to pay, if it made the journey quicker.
Gerard had no trouble getting in to the castle. A delivery of the Vinelands’ finest was a cause for celebration.
Cialtie met the wagon himself. ‘Lord Gerard,’ he said. The second I heard that voice all of the hairs stood up on the back of my neck and I stopped breathing. I was instantly terrified, but at the same time I had to overcome the urge to pop out like a deranged jack-in-the-box and chop his head off. ‘I hope this shipment,’ Cialtie continued, ‘is better than the vinegar you sent me last time.’
‘I am so sorry, Lord Cialtie, that you found my last batch not to your liking,’ Gerard oozed. ‘I assure you this is the finest of vintages.’
‘I should hope so,’ Cialtie said.
I had plenty of reasons for hating my uncle, but the disrespectful way he talked to Gerard made me want to throttle him–after I decapitated him.
‘Your daughter is not with you.’
‘No, my lord.’
‘Why not? You know I wanted to meet her.’
‘It is a very busy time in the fermentation cycle. I needed her to supervise the winemaking in my absence. I’m sure she is up to her neck in a barrel of wine as we speak.’
I had to put my hand over my mouth to stop from laughing out loud. You had to love this guy.
‘Lord Cialtie,’ Gerard said, putting on a serious tone, ‘may I ask you why you have an entire army on patrol? Is there something amiss that I should know about?’
‘What are you talking about? I have no army on patrol.’
‘Oh my,’ Gerard said in a fey aristocratic tone that was definitely not him. It made me smile. ‘Then I think you should know that there is one on the way’
‘What? How do you know this?’
‘Oh, I have a very good Elvish spyglass, they use gold in the optics you know. I saw them yesterday. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed. I’d say they were only half a day away’
Gerard hadn’t turned traitor–this was part of the plan. Lorcan and Dad figured that if Cialtie thought he was under attack from the outside, he wouldn’t be guarding the inside all that well. It seemed to work.
Cialtie instantly sprang into action, shouting orders. ‘Put the wall fortifications on alert,’ he yelled, ‘and send out a scouting party to find out what he is talking about. Gerard and Dahy, come with me.’
‘Of course, my lord, if I can be of any help, but I would ask if Master Dahy could supervise the stowing of the wine. It is a delicate vintage and I wouldn’t want to see it bruised.’
‘Very well. You two help him,’ Cialtie grumbled.
I heard them leave and then the wagon began to move. We travelled a way over cobbled streets. I had a childish urge to sing just so I could hear my voice vibrate. We stopped for the opening of large doors and then turned left. I could tell by the sound that we were inside.
‘Close those doors, you idiots! You are letting the cool air out,’ I heard Dahy bark–then I heard two bangs, two short grunts, followed by the unmistakable sound of bodies hitting the ground.
Fresh air! The things you take for granted. I stood up, breathing deeply and stretching, while everyone else went to work.
Dahy crawled under the wagon and brought out the weapons. Araf and Fergal went about stealing the two guards’ uniforms. The shocking bit was when Mom, Nieve and Essa started tarting themselves up. They unbuttoned their shirts and pushed up their cleavages. Essa and Mom put on skirts with revealing slits in them while Nieve started ripping one in hers.
Essa caught me staring. ‘What are you looking at?’ she snapped.
‘What are you doing?’
‘We are blending in,’ Mom said, giving me a practice provocative smile. ‘Women of, how shall I say, dubious virtue are common in Castle Duir these days.’
‘Well,’ I said to Essa, ‘you look–great.’
She didn’t return the compliment with a provocative look. It was more like an evil eye.
‘Conor,’ Dad said, ‘stop gawping at the women and help Dahy and me stow the barrels.’
Dad was being his thorough self. They might not miss the guards, but if someone saw that the wine was still on the wagon, they might know something was up. I
promised myself that I would have a word with Gerard about putting his wine in smaller barrels. Man, they were heavy.
When we were finished, Dahy said, ‘I will stable the horse and then rejoin Gerard. Good luck.’ We hid behind the door as he left.
Mom gave the naked guards a dose of Shadowmagic that would ensure they slept the rest of the day, and then Dad lined us up for an inspection. People like the women, Dad and me were commonplace in the castle, so we wouldn’t raise too much suspicion. Fergal looked just like the Banshee guard he had stolen the uniform from, but Araf was a problem. Imps were not very welcome in the castle and the guard uniform could not disguise the mop of sandy hair on his head–he stood out like a sore thumb. That’s when Mom pulled out the wig.
To call it a wig was to do an injustice to every hairpiece that was ever made. It was supposed to simulate Banshee hair but in reality it looked like a skunk that had been dead on the freeway for a week. Araf put it on and I lost it. I don’t think I ever saw anything so funny in my life. I was laughing so hard that Dad actually slapped me.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, struggling to get my composure back, ‘I get like this when I’m nervous.’
‘Don’t,’ Dad said in that voice that meant business. A voice I know only too well.
I shot a glance over to Fergal for support, expecting to see his cheesy grin, but he wasn’t even smiling. That kind of sobered me up.
‘You three have the most difficult job of all,’ Dad said to Essa, Araf and Fergal. ‘Those gold lines must be severed.’
‘We will not fail, my lord,’ Araf said. I felt my stomach churn. This was it. They were my friends and they were heading straight into danger. Fergal didn’t look at me but Essa and I locked eyes before she left. She smiled but it was a strange little smile. It seemed to mean something, but as usual I couldn’t figure out what. They walked out the door like they owned the place. Essa, dressed as a loose woman, arm in arm between two soldiers. Essa even tried a provocative swish of her skirt, but to be honest, she wasn’t very good at it. Then it was just family.
Mom gave Dad a passionate embrace. Nieve offered me her hand. ‘Come on,’ I said, ‘you’re my aunt for crying out loud.’ I gave her a hug that she didn’t return very well.
Mom gave me a kiss on the cheek. ‘You look after your father.’ ‘I will. I’ll see you in a little while in the Chamber.’ They sashayed out the door and then it was just Dad and me–like old times.
‘Are you ready, son?’ ‘Born ready, Dad.’
My father knew the castle like he was raised there–which of course he was. We made our way up to the north wing by way of the servants’ stairs. Dad figured (rightly as it turned out) that it would be empty this time of day. A Leprechaun was sweeping at the other end of a corridor but he didn’t see us. We didn’t come across anyone else until we got to the floor the bedrooms were on.
Dad stuck his nose into the main corridor and then motioned for me to follow. At the end of the corridor was a T junction with a grand oak door. There was nobody around.
‘That’s Cialtie’s bedroom,’ he whispered.
We tiptoed towards it. I wasn’t as worried about the sound of my feet as much as I was worried about the sound of my pounding heart. We were about halfway there when a soldier came up from the corridor on the left. Cialtie had a guard posted at his door! If the soldier had been looking our way, he would have seen us. There was an open door next to us–we both ducked into it.
That’s when I heard the scream.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Aein
The scream came from a slight Leprechaun chambermaid. We scared the hell out of her. Dad tackled her onto the bed and covered her mouth. She looked up with wild eyes. Then Dad called her by name. ‘Aein, shhh, I won’t hurt you. It’s me, Oisin.’ He showed her his missing hand. Her eyes widened more, which I didn’t think was possible.
A voice came from the corridor. ‘What’s going on in there?’
Dad rolled off the maid, hitting the floor on the far side of the bed. I ducked behind the door, my banta stick ready.
The guard stepped into the doorway. The maid quickly sat up in the bed. ‘What’s all this noise?’ the guard asked.
She shot a quick glance to me behind the door. I didn’t know what she was going to do. If she raised the alarm, we were done for. I’m surprised I didn’t pass out–I wasn’t breathing.
‘I, I,’ she stammered, ‘I saw a mouse.’
I could see the guard through the space in the doorjamb. He let out an exasperated sigh and said, ‘Stupid cow.’
‘No! Don’t go,’ she said.
Oh no, I thought, as every muscle in my body tightened to breaking point, she is going to give us away.
‘No, please come and look.’
‘I have got better things to do than catch mice.’
She shot a knowing glance to me and nodded slowly once. ‘Please, I think this mouse has two heads.’
I smiled at her then. She was on our side. She knew I couldn’t get a clear swing at the guard from where I was–she was luring him into the room. I was impressed by her fast thinking. If I was the guard, there was no way I would have missed a chance to see a two-headed mouse.
The guard stepped into the room. I adjusted the grip on my banta stick and clocked him good, square in the temple. I felt the solidness of the contact clear down to my toes. He did a little comedy pirouette and crumpled to the floor. I leaned over him and said, ‘That will teach you for calling her a stupid cow.’
I closed the door. Dad popped up from behind the bed. ‘Thank you, Aein,’ he said.
The maid threw her arms around Dad and pressed the side of her face into his chest. ‘Oh, Prince Oisin, it really is you.’
Dad stroked her hair.
She stepped back and wiped her eyes. ‘Are you going to fight your brother?’
‘I’m afraid I am.’
The sweetness vanished out of her–all of a sudden she looked like she was made of granite. ‘Good,’ she said, almost spitting. ‘How can I help?’
Dad’s smile covered his face. At that moment he looked a lot like Fergal. ‘Do you know where Cialtie keeps my hand?’
‘In his room, in that fancy box of his.’
‘Of course,’ Dad said. He kissed her quickly on the forehead and turned to leave.
‘But,’ she said, ‘he keeps his chamber door locked.’ That stopped us both in our tracks, and then we heard a jingle behind us. We turned to see Aein holding a fob of keys in her hand and smiling. ‘But I have a key.’
Cialtie’s chambers were decorated with dead things. The walls were covered with mounted animal heads and on every surface there were stuffed birds and beasts. I hate this kind of stuff in the Real World–in The Land, it was a sacrilege beyond measure.
The box was in a small alcove. It was a beautiful thing. It must have been made of wood from every tree in The Land, an intricate patchwork, lovingly made from timber of every hue. Dad put it on a table and stared at it. There was a strip of cherry-coloured wood running along the top. Dad slid it to the left about an inch and then moved a darker strip of wood down. He stepped back and sighed.
‘What’s the problem?’ I asked.
‘It’s a puzzle box. Some Elf lord gave it to Cialtie when we were kids. You have to perform about thirty of these little moves, in the right order, to unlock it.’
‘Can you do it?’
‘I did it a couple of times, but that was a long time ago. This is going to take hours.’
I picked up my banta stick and came down hard on the lid of the box. It shattered into about twenty pieces. ‘My way is quicker.’
‘I wish you hadn’t done that,’ Dad said.
‘Why?’
‘What happens if Cialtie comes back here and finds his favourite box has turned to kindling?’
‘Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.’
Dad gave me that Dad look. ‘Obviously.’
With his lone hand he gently pushed aside the spli
ntered wood–he was shaking a bit. Underneath was a packet wrapped in a red velvet cloth. He unwrapped it and–there it was. Something I never thought I would see–Dad’s right hand. It almost glowed from the yellow Shadowmagic that encased it, like those dragonflies trapped in amber. He picked it up and stared at it. It was a very strange moment. I tried to imagine what I would be thinking, the first time I saw the back of my own hand in twenty years, and I couldn’t.
‘Is this going to work?’ I asked.
‘Deirdre thinks so,’ Dad said, dreamily.
‘Well, that’s good enough for me. Come on, let’s get out of here.’
We reassembled Cialtie’s box as best we could. It looked OK, as long as you didn’t touch it–or sneeze.
We had to get all the way to the other side of the castle in order to get down to the Chamber of Runes. Aein offered to scout ahead for us. Dad told her it was too dangerous, but she insisted. Who says you can’t get good help these days? Whenever we came to a corner we couldn’t see around, Aein got down on her hands and knees with a scrubbing brush and crawled around the corner pretending she was cleaning. Once we had to wait a couple of minutes for a guard to pass. Another time, the way was too well guarded, so we ended up on the walkway that overlooked the courtyard. It was more exposed than we liked but it was our only choice. It actually wasn’t a bad route. There was a lot of activity above us, with the soldiers fortifying the ramparts, but this level was empty.
It also allowed us to get a look at how Essa, Araf and Fergal were doing. They looked OK. Araf had his back to the well. He was hiding it, but if you looked close you could see he was holding a length of rope that was hanging into the well. Fergal was standing guard, so we assumed that Essa was down the well cutting the gold cables. The strange thing was, even though Araf was wearing that ridiculous wig, Fergal was the one that looked out of place. As a Banshee his appearance was perfect, but his body language was so rigid I could feel the tension all the way to where we were.
We came to the south wing and entered a corridor. This part of the castle was old, real old. You could sense it. The end of the corridor sloped around to the left. Aein got down on her hands and knees again and did her cleaning routine. She was gone for what seemed to be an eternity, then appeared back, still on her hands and knees.