“Stupid old window.” I mumbled and cringed when it finally slid up. I looked back at my super hearing boyfriend and hoped I didn’t wake him again. After he didn’t wake I smiled to myself, he must have gotten immune to my voice. I stuck my head out the window to feel the fresh breeze felt good against my warmed up skin. After feeling satisfied I pulled away and forced the window shut. I flinched as the window punished me by pinching my fingers.
“Stupid window!”
I pulled my finger back and I was bleeding. I groaned and looked for napkins and anything I could get the blood to stop nearby. I heard James moving in his sleep and cringed. Did I finally wake him up?
I looked back and he had his face buried in his pillow. The way his back muscles were flexing and the tattoos were moving I could tell he was breathing hard. He looked like he was struggling in his sleep.
Was he having a nightmare?
I rushed to his side to wake him up and see what was wrong so I could help put him out of his agony.
I pushed him on his back and he looked like he was being tortured. He mumbled something in his sleep and his eyes shot open and stared into mine.
But his eyes weren’t the same.
They weren’t the beautiful shade of blue color I was used to. They were red. Blood red. “Oh my God.” I said out loud at the realization. I always had a feeling in my heart that he was the monster that saved me.
James all of a sudden showed his teeth…sharp pointy fangs. I heard a quiet growl escape his chest. I went back a little. He sat up, still keeping his eyes on me, and growled even louder. I felt like a mouse being prayed on by a lion.
Chapter Fifteen
Freaking out I went back as fast and as far as possible but I ended up trapping myself in the corner of the room.
“Ja…James? Baby…snap out of it.” I tried to say but was barely able to get my voice out. He stopped growling and stared at me. I felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. It was beating so fast it hurt.
“Are…you okay?” he asked.
He got a little closer and I tried to get further but there was no where I could go. I wanted to scream for help as stupid as it was, I wanted help from him.
I could see the despair in his face and I felt so guilty that I was reacting this way. But my body was scared. My brain was telling me to run. But my heart was breaking that I wanted to.
He stayed where he was and studied me, “Baby…please talk to me. Are you okay? I... I smell your blood. Are you hurt?” he asked. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the fact that he could smell my blood. I instinctively put my fingers in a fist trying to hide the blood.
“Ye…yeah. I was trying to close the window after opening it. It needs oil or something… it’s hard to budge.” I said with a shaky voice.
He looked down and squeezed his eyes shut. I found myself migrating towards him slowly once the eye contact was over. My fear was slowly subsiding and I wanted to be comforted by him as well as comfort him myself. By the James I have learned to love and the one that he calls a monster.
He looked back at me and his eyes drifted to my hands. We were both still on the floor as I crawled towards him slowly. His eyes met with mine again and they were still red. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid before for not knowing for sure that he was the monster that saved me. I saw the resemblance before but assumed it was the lack of sleep and fear that I made the comparison. Or maybe I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.
The closer I got to him, the faster my heart raced. But I still went forward. I eyed the door. It was my exit. I looked back at him and he looked hurt. He closed his eyes as if he was preparing himself for the worst. I wasn’t sure what he was scared of. He was the one with the ability to bite and suck my blood out dry. I mentally slapped myself for even thinking he would do that and continued to walk to him.
He looked surprised when he opened his eyes again and I was in front of him. I brought a shaky hand up and touched his longer hair. It was messy. He was trying to read my face, I could tell. But I worked hard to not show how I was feeling. Mainly because I wasn’t sure how I was feeling either. At least I knew now for sure that he couldn’t read minds.
As I ran my fingers through his hair I smiled. Even though it was messy and longer than he normally had it, it was still James. I brought my fingers to his face and started tracing the outline of his face. I cupped his cheek with one hand, the hand with no blood. I didn’t want the blood close to him; I kept it as far as possible.
Not that it made a difference sense he got the scent of it while I wasn’t even close to him earlier.
I stared at him as my hand rested on his cheek. “You’re the one who saved me...” I practically whispered since my voice decided to stop working. I suddenly had the urge to lock my arms around him and hug him from the guilt of being scared of him earlier. “I’m so sorry I got scared…it was the shock.” I said crying into his shoulder. He hesitated for a moment but finally hugged me as my tears became uncontrollable.
“Why are you crying?”
“I feel bad that I got scared.” I cried some more. I knew I was being ridiculous, I was never much of a crier but I felt so bad.
He rubbed my back trying to calm me down as I sobbed on his shoulder. My heart was still racing and it was starting to hurt from being so afraid the past few weeks but I wasn’t afraid anymore.
“Are…you still scared?” He wavered. I wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know the answer or not. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say.
I pulled away from him reluctantly and took uneven breaths trying to calm my crying down so I could talk. I shook my head, “No. Not at all. You saved my life James. Not once but twice. And you’ve protected me.”
He forced himself to smile but I could tell he thought I wanted to run. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t cross my mind. He brought his hand out to caress my cheek like I had done his. He was testing me and taking baby steps for himself too.
I pressed my cheek into his hand more and brought my hands to his shoulders. I pulled him closer and pressed my lips to his. He was wide eyed as I pulled away making me kiss him again to prove I wasn’t afraid anymore. Fangs and red eyes or not, I couldn’t resist him.
I led him back to the bed and forced him to lay next to me even though he was hesitating. “I don’t trust myself.”
“I trust you.” I replied.
We were quiet for a moment that felt like hours. “So…now you see why I call myself a monster?” He said sadly as I sat with my back resting against his chest. He was built before, but after his ‘change’ he was even more muscular. His arms made my waist look tiny as they rested around them.
I shook my head and got out of the comfortable embrace to look at him. “Not at all. I think you’re beautiful.”
He looked confused and chuckled in disbelief, “Beautiful? There’s nothing beautiful about these.” He said pointing at my fangs.
“I don’t know… I think they’re kind of cute.” I winked, “But seriously…I love you James. I didn’t say I loved you just to say it, I meant it. Whether it is in everyday James version or…vampire James version.” I said as I played with his hands in my hands, “It actually explains why I was so comfortable around you when you saved me from the other thing. I didn’t know it was you but I felt that you wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t scared of you when the thing attacked me.”
“You still… love me?”
I smiled, “Of course. I love you more actually because I know more about you. There is more of you to love now.”
He shook his head, “Baby, something’s wrong with you if you still like me after this. I feel like you’re going to run away the minute we get back home.”
“I think…if you were like a hairy werewolf or something I’d consider breaking up with you though. I’m not into hairy guys.” I made a disgusted face.
“You’d be the beauty and I’d be the beast.” He laughed, “But it’s a relief that I’m only a werewolf on ful
l moons.”
“What?!”
“Kidding, baby. I’m always like this...” He laughed but stopped into a forced smile.
We both couldn’t sleep anymore. We stayed in our position against the headboard for the remainder of the night. Our limbs were tangled with each other. He didn’t let go of me, I think he was scared I’d run away the minute he let go. A part of me did still want to… it would almost be crazy if I didn’t. It was the fight or flight instinct that everyone had. But I added another category that had me wanting to hug him. Fight flight or cuddle. I choose cuddle. I smiled at the thought and nestled against his hard chest anyway.
This was all too surreal.
I noticed his breathing had evened out so I slowly turned to look at him to see if he was asleep or not. He was wide awake. His eyes met with mine and I realized they were back to the baby blues I loved. “You’re back.” I said simply.
He looked confused for a moment and looked at his arms, “It took longer than usual…” he frowned.
“How so?”
“Usually, if I focus I’m able to bring myself back to normal…”
“Did you try?”
“The minute I realized what I was about to do to you I tried, baby. Trust me.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, “Why didn’t it work this time?”
“Not sure. If anything… it should have…” he thought to himself for a moment then smiled at me, “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Hey…so you said it’s the men in your family?” I asked.
“Yeah…”
“So…is Chris?”
“No, Chris is from my mom’s side. It only happens to the men in my dad’s side of the family. Carmichael men.”
“So… is David?”
“Yes… David is.”
I cringed at the thought of David as a ‘monster’, “He hates me…is that why you told me to stay away from him?”
“I told you to stay away from him just in case. But I don’t think he would do anything to you… I did at first. But… I talked to him and he gave me his word. He’s just had bad luck finding someone. He’s bitter when loves involved. He’ll ease up once he sees you’re okay with me.”
I could hear even his disbelief as he said that. Not sure if he didn’t believe David would ease up on me or if I am okay with him. “What about your sisters? If they have kids will they be cursed?”
“Their sons will be cursed, yeah.”
“Oh…” So weird… “Whatever happened to the grandfather that was turned first?”
He sighed, “He stayed a monster forever. He truly loved the gypsy woman and not his arranged wife. By the time he did love his arranged wife though, it was too late… It had already past his fifteenth year. His was when he was thirty.”
“So once it’s past the fifteenth year …”
“It’s permanent”
“Oh…” How sad… “Well… what do we have to do for you?”
“I’m not sure…I thought I would just stop being a monster once you said you loved me despite the curse…but it almost felt like the opposite. Like I was almost trapped as a monster a second ago.”
I felt worried for him. I took his hand trying to comfort him. I hoped I could be able to help him somehow, “Maybe it just takes some time?”
“Maybe.”
***
James had his eyes on me the entire time after the change. He was embarrassed. He wanted to be away from me but at the same time he wanted to be close because he was positive I would run away the first chance I had. But I didn’t. And I didn’t plan to.
If anything I tried to be closer to him to prove it. I held his hand as we went hiking in the snow trail and giggled when he accidently caught a fish with his bare hands when we went fishing. Luckily Tiffany didn’t notice. I put my finger on my lips telling him to not say anything till I turned to Daniel and Tiffany’s fishing team and yelled, “We caught one already! You two lose.”
The deal was that the loser had to cook and I didn’t feel like cooking. As Daniel and Tiffany were preparing our last meal at the camp, James and I cuddled on the long logs we were using as seats by the campfire.
“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.
“Hmm…” I thought, “My legs are going to kill me from hiking earlier and walking again.”
“I’ll carry you to the car tomorrow.” He said burying his nose in the crook of my neck and pressing his lips to my sensitive skin.
“Okay let’s go.”
If he was testing me to see if I was scared. I failed miserably. At every little sound I jumped into his arms, “Did you hear that?” I whispered after hearing a crackle in the trees.
“No.” he laughed, “I didn’t hear any animals. It was the wind.”
“Oh…” I said pulling myself off his arm and walking beside him again. I squealed and grabbed him around his waist again after I heard another crackle, “I know I heard something now!”
He laughed, “I think it’s either your imagination or you’re making it up to hold onto me.”
I pulled back to glare at him. “Jerk.” I mumbled but couldn’t fight off the smile.
He had his eyes on me as we walked side by side. I’d still occasionally jump but I tried not to show I was scared. I looked up at branches above us, prepared to run if I saw a spider hanging by its web to jump on us. My entire body felt itchy at the thought.
James cleared his throat and pulled me closer to him to get my attention, “So…tell me…Why did you want to open the window last night?”
“Um…fresh air? I got hot.” I said feeling my ears get hot at the memory.
“Hot? It was freezing last night.”
He smirked, “Karina? Tell me…” he asked trying to get it out of me.
“Nothing. I was just… I couldn’t sleep. So I was looking at you and you moved and it scared me because I thought I woke you up and then it got hot so I just wanted to get some fresh air. And that’s when the stupid window was stuck and…” I cringed, “And you know.”
“So… you watch me while I sleep?” he teased.
“James…” I glared at him and started walking ahead of him as he continued laughing. I loved hearing him laugh and act carefree but I wasn’t going to let him know that while he was teasing me.
“Okay okay. I’m sorry I won’t tease you anymore.” he said running after me and grabbing me by my waist.
We made it back in time. The fish was done and we had to put out the fire. We munched on the food and the couscous salad Tiffany and I had made ahead of time. James and Daniel made fun of us for making a salad for roughing it up but they liked it. James was more at ease once he realized I wasn’t running away. That I actually felt safer knowing he was the one who saved me from the creepy one. I was happy that he finally opened up to me. Granted he didn’t have a choice at that moment… but still.
The only issue now was… why was he still like that?
Chapter Sixteen
The day after we got back I had work, as usual. James had a different kind of distance now. We were closer than ever, but still felt far apart at times. He was worried, but he wouldn’t talk to me about it. I knew he was worried about why he hadn’t changed yet but I suggested that maybe we have to wait a little longer. I was starting to get worried that he thought I didn’t love him.
Even his usual texts throughout work were minimal. Given, he might just be busy, but I knew something else was wrong. Deciding I needed to get my mind off of James I put all my focus on my work. I couldn’t have him on my mind at all times. As soon as work was done and he picked me up, I’ll talk to him.
After finishing up another report and meeting with a cereal brand that wanted to use W-Ads for their newest commercial, it was a good day. I looked at the time and saw that it was finally time go home. I texted James and he said he was out front so I packed up to leave. It was already dark since fall was approaching. I was excited and worried at the same time. I loved the cooler weather, but it also meant that it
would be dark even if I left early from work. I had to move on from the attacks and just assume they were coincidental.
As the elevator door opened, my smile took over my face when I saw him waiting for me by the door.
“Hi James!” I said excitedly.
“Hello beautiful, you seem extra happy today.” He said wrapping his arms around me to kiss me hello.
“Ecstatic! I got another great client for my boss. I think I’ll be getting that promotion I was hoping for.” I said thrilled that I had someone to tell right away, “What did you do today?”
“I visited my family in the morning to talk to my dad. Then went to work…” He said as he led me to his car.
“Oh yeah? Is everything okay?” I asked worried.
“Yeah everything is fine. I had to talk to them about something…”
The distance was back again. I hated that he couldn’t just open up to me. Maybe that was the problem. His mind has been everywhere except with me and it’s starting to get me worried. He was talking less and even less huggy kissy when seeing me today. Usually I was the one who had to pull away from our hellos after work. I also noticed he didn’t sleep or eat like normal since we got back from the cabin. He didn’t even suggest it now like he normally would.
“James, could we eat out today?” I asked getting him out of his trance as he drove. And by eat out I mean, actually eat.
It’s easier to keep an eye on how much he eats at a restaurant. Whatever was bothering him shouldn’t come between him and his health.
“Of course.” He said, still distant.
We went to a closest restaurant to home. It was a cozy little Italian place called Café Vinci. It was warm and homey, like most Italian restaurants are, but I still felt awkward and out of place since he was being so quiet.
I noticed he poked around at his pasta barely taking a bite. I bit my lip not wanting to nag at him to eat but I couldn’t help it anymore. “James… is something bothering you? You’ve been kind of distant lately and you’re barely touching your food.”
In My Veins Page 11