Trap Goddess

by Sasha Ravae

  “Yeah, I got his fruit basket. This place is amazing. I can’t believe he paid for all this.”

  “Listen, Trina, I know last night was intense, and to be all the way truthful, your life will never be the same again, but I promise you this is for the better. You are now a boss. Niggas kill for this spot, but more importantly, they will kill to see you keep your position. You are a goddess, and you will never have to worry about anything ever again. You will always be taken care of.” She remained silent. She didn’t know what to say. “I know this is a lot to take in, so I’ma let you go. You want me to come by later?”

  “No, that’s okay, I think I’m have Yari come out since I’m scheduled to be here for a few more days anyway.”

  “On that note, enjoy your trip. Hit me when you get back to Sac.”

  “Damn, that fast?”

  “Naw, we’re good, but I’m not tryna be out here in paradise with her all like that. It’s all about balance, Trina. Call me if you need anything.”

  “I will,” she said hanging up the phone as she fell to her knees. The weight of the night before was too much to bear. Although she couldn’t remember much, the look in Ron’s eyes before the gun went off was something she would never forget. Already she missed him. She only wanted to be a part of the thing that made Jonah great, the thing that made him king, but now her hands were covered in blood.

  She picked up her phone and began to dial Yari’s number, but before she got to the last digit, she ended the call.

  She could never understand this, she thought. As close as Yari and she were, Trina never told her the extent of her newfound relationship with RG. Yari only saw the money, diamonds, and nice cars; she didn’t see the life behind the shadows, and for a long time, Trina hadn’t either, but she was now completely vested. Her blood was their blood, and theirs hers. Confessing her sins to Yari was out of the question. The last thing she needed was judgment, so she knew exactly who to call.

  “Man, you had a young god nervous.”

  “And why is that?” she asked trying to mask the sound of her tears as they continued to fall.

  “Cause I thought you weren’t gonna call me. I mean a lot has transpired between us, you know?”

  “It’s in the past now I guess.”

  “Are you crying?” Los asked finally hearing the sadness in her voice.

  “No, it’s allergies,” she sniffed.

  “Come on, T, it’s me. You know I’ve heard you cry more times than I can count.”

  “Are you bragging?” she snapped.

  “No, but it’s facts though. Forreal, what’s up with you?”

  “Nothing, work just got me stressed.”

  “What did you say you did again?” he asked hoping to confirm what he already knew.

  “I didn’t.”

  “Okay, smart-ass, what do you do? Cause you acting like the feds right now.”

  “Los, are we just gonna talk about work all day?”

  “What you wanna talk about?”

  “You. What made you come back to Sac?”

  “Sac will always be my home. 7800 block still pumps through my veins, so I don’t need a reason to come back. But I’d been back and forth between Atlanta and Sac so much that I was getting homesick. Me and Malachi had some business out here a few months ago, and I just decided to stay for a while. I tried to call you.”

  “Los, you did not try and call me,” she said sucking her teeth.

  “The hell I didn’t. 916-647-1020.”

  Trina couldn’t help but laugh. “Boy, that was my number back in like 2009. I’ve been changed it. I had too much drama with that number.”

  “What happened?”

  “I was fucking with this dude, and I found out that he was cheating on me. Not only was he cheating on me, but he moved the bitch down the street from where we stayed in the North, so he was back and forth between me and her. She would call me all the time saying that he was fucking with her. She knew what he wore, where he was, all the shit all the time. We were in Vegas for New Years, and she called his phone. Yari asked to use it before that, so when the bitch called, of course she answered.”

  “What’s the girl’s name?”

  “Desiree Jenkins. Bum-ass bitch. Anyway, she was telling Yari that he bought her two kids something for Christmas, but his first baby mama told me that he didn’t even get their own daughter a present. He was a mark. After all that, I packed up my shit and moved back to the south by Laguna and was done with the situation, but the bitch kept calling me. I was still fucking with him cause I wanted to pull rank on that hoe, but the icing on the cake and what really made me have to be done was when I saw a picture of Desiree on Facebook wearing the very same chain I bought the nigga for Christmas.”

  “Cold busted,” Los said laughing into the phone.

  “Wait, here’s the smasher. He said that she photoshopped the picture. Like why? The fun and the games were over, and I was done forreal forreal after that, so I changed my number.”

  “What happened to you?” he asked in all seriousness.

  “What do you mean?” His words made her feel like the young and dumb, insecure girl he left behind years before. His opinion of her still meant everything even though she didn’t want to admit it.

  “Nigga? Baby mama? When we were together, you barely even cussed. You were always so quiet and stayed to yourself. It’s just crazy to see the woman you grew up to be.”

  “You made me like this.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Naw, get it off your chest, nigga.”

  “Do you remember the last time you were out here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And the bitch you came out here to see?”

  “I came to see you.”

  “Los…”

  “Yeah, I think it was that little bitch Elizabeth. She was on me. What can I say? She offered to buy my ticket. I came out here and saw you first, I saw her one time, and then I was doing my own thing, ya dig? That’s in the past though.”

  “It’s not. From Elizabeth, to all of the countless hoes you had on your dick and paraded around me all looked the same. They all had something in common except me.”

  “I ain’t got no type,” he sang into the phone.

  “I’m being serious, Los. I wanted to be your type back then.”

  “You’ve always been my type, Trina. You looked beautiful when I saw you by the way, but I mean I would be lying if I said you look like the same little mousey girl I fell in love with almost fifteen years ago, but that doesn’t matter to me now. I was young back then, and I dogged the same bitches you were comparing yourself to like I did you, but that’s on me. I wanted to be out there, and even though we were the perfect match on paper, I needed to experience the bad to appreciate the good. Everything happens for a reason, beautiful, so can I see you? God didn’t place you in my path for no reason,” he said pausing, “Look, you got me out here begging, sounding like a simp. You know that ain’t even my style, so are you tryna see me, or nah?”

  “Can you be here by tomorrow?” Trina asked finally surrendering to her heart. She wanted nothing more in the world than to be near his.

  “I can be there by tonight, baby. I’ma bust a few moves, and I’ll hit you before I fly out. How long you bout to be out there?”

  “I was scheduled to be out here through the weekend. I could’ve gone home early, but I figure I might as well make the best outta the situation.”

  “That works then. Alright, I’m bout to wiggle. You need me to bring you anything?”

  “Just you.”

  “Ooohhh, that’s what I like to hear. I swear I missed that voice.”

  “Bye, Los.”

  “Can you say, ‘Bye, Daddy’ just once please?”

  “Just once?” Trina teased.

  “Just once.”

  “Okay,” she said licking her tear-flavored lips, “Bye…”

  She hung up the phone unwilling to stroke his ego. She al
ways put so much into Los only to get nothing in return, but this time was different. She had no expectations.

  “It’ll be fine. We’ll just have dinner, talk, and then we can finally go our separate ways. This is the closure I needed.”

  Chapter 9

  Unable to deal with the silence of being alone, Trina spent the seven hours Los was spending on American Airlines to sleep. He texted her before he boarded the plane to make sure she wasn’t getting cold feet, but still convinced that their reunion was necessary for her to finally put the past in the past, she anticipated his arrival. As she slept, her dreams of what could’ve been be filled every part of her. Los was more than the one who got away. He was her first and only love until Jonah came around. She had been with many in between, but no one could ever compare to the beginning or the end. When Trina finally woke up, she decided to get dressed. She searched through her suitcase for the perfect outfit hoping to avoid sending Los the wrong signal. He had grown up so much over the years, and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to resist the familiar. After showering off her indiscretions from the night before, she slipped into a black, strapless romper. She slicked her golden hair into a high ponytail, and the black crystal strappy sandals she wore shined under the harsh hotel lighting. She stared in the mirror pleased with the image staring back at her. This was the moment she had been waiting every day for. She wanted Los to want her more than she had ever wanted him

  Teyana Taylor’s “Maybe” filled the bathroom as she continued to brush her cheeks with golden and peach flecks.

  “Hello?” she couldn’t help but to smile.

  “Look, I know you said that you were just gonna meet me somewhere, but I need to put my bags up, so I might as well come to you first.”

  “Where you at now?”

  “Coming up A1A. What hotel you at?”

  “The Setai, but why don’t you just get a room and you can put your bags there?” she asked placing her hand on her hip.

  “Girl, if you don’t stop playing with me. I’ve seen that ass up, down, left, right, in every way possible. Stop being so childish,” he said laughing, “That thang still tight, huh?”

  “Bye, Los.”

  “Okay, okay, okay, my bad. We’ll get to that later. What room you in though?”

  “I’m in the penthouse.”

  “Big baller, huh? I’ll see you in a few.”

  Trina walked back over to her suitcase, and pulled out a jar of coconut oil. The semi-solid liquid smushed between her hands as she fished for the quarter she had hidden inside. Omari laughed at her smuggling efforts. He assured her that she could find weed in Miami, but Trina didn’t trust it. She made sure to hit up her weed man before she left. She had to be comfortable. After rinsing off the sealed zip-lock bag, she dried her hands before retrieving a pack of swishers from her purse. As she broke it down in a small black garbage can on the side of the bed, her mind began to race, but soon the familiar herbaceous smell in the air calmed her nerves. She leaned back and released a thick cloud of smoke as her body relaxed. For the first time that day, her mind was quiet. The peace surrounding her was what she was dying to get back to.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  “Who is it?” she asked. A blunt to the face later, she completely forgot about her pending date with Los.

  “Nigga, you know who it is,” he said through the door. She quickly walked into the bathroom and freshened her makeup. The bright lights in the crisp white bathroom illuminated her flawlessly painted face. She looked perfect.

  Smoothing out the bottoms of the shorts that softly cupped her butt, Trina opened the door.

  “You got somebody in here?” Los asked walking into the room.

  “Nice to see you too,” she said grabbing her purse from off of the sky blue chair that sat beside the bed, “Where are your bags? I thought you wanted to leave them here?”

  “I did, but I wanted to see you more,” he said placing his arms around the small of her waist.

  “You ready?” she asked quickly pulling away from him.

  “Where you tryna go since you in a rush and all?”

  “The Setai Grill right inside the hotel.”

  “You sure you can even get there?” he asked looking down at her six-inch heels.

  “You must not know who you’re talking to, baby,” Trina said switching out of the room. Her walk down the seemingly endless hallway was worthy of Miss J himself.

  “Okay then,” Los said licking his lips, “I see you stepped it up.”

  “More than stepped it up, boo.”

  “Well, just remember that I remember when your goofy-ass used to fall wearing flats,” he said wrapping his body around her as he pressed the button to the elevator.

  “A lot of things have changed, Los.”

  “I see that, but I want you to show me.”

  “Not tonight,” she said walking onto the empty elevator.

  Ten minutes later, Los and Trina found themselves seated at the restaurant. The Asian-fusion place was one of Jonah’s favorite.

  “You’ve been here before?” Los asked admiring the atmosphere.

  “No,” she lied.

  “What made you pick it then?”

  “It was here,” she said taking a sip of ice water. The condensation on the glass dripped down the side of her hand.

  “Ay, why when I ask you anything, you just shut down?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Come on, I know when you’re lying, ma. Please remember who you’re talking to.”

  “My fiancé and I would stay here sometimes when we came to Miami.”

  “Fiancé?”

  “Ex-fiancé I should say,” Trina said looking down at the crusty bread that sat in the middle of her plate.

  “The nigga with the chain? I mean I know I’m one of a kind, but you gotta step your stock up, T.”

  “No, not the dude with the chain. His name was Jonah. He was shot to death a couple months ago.”

  “Damn, that’s crazy.”

  “He used to host those drives in Meadowview. He was up at the podium speaking,” Trina said feeling tears begin to well up in her eyes. She hadn’t really talked about Jonah’s death with too many people. “When somebody walked in and shot him in the head. They didn’t shoot anyone else. Just him.”

  “I think I heard about that. I’m sorry, T.”

  “I can still feel his blood on my hands,” she said looking down. Los grabbed her by her palms and kissed the middle of her hands.

  “I don’t want you to be sad,” he said kissing them again, “What can I do?”

  “I don’t think there’s anything anybody can do,” she said wiping her face with the white cloth napkin, “But enough about me. How are your parents?”

  “They’re good. Believe it or not, my mama still talks about you. She thinks you were the perfect girl for me.”

  “Too bad you didn’t.”

  “Trina, I…”

  “I’m kidding, Los. How’s Antoine?”

  “He’s cool. Still out there too.”

  “I miss him.”

  “Yeah, lil bruh been on his grind.”

  “And what grind you be on?”

  “You know I dibble and dabble.”

  “How long you gon’ be in Sac?”

  “As long as I have a reason.”

  Los and Trina spent the night over miso soup, lobster tails, and shitake mushroom risotto, but before the food could get cold, Trina’s phone began ringing. The first few times it was Omari calling, but eventually he got the picture. Yari was another story.

  “I’m sorry, I gotta take this,” she said excusing herself from the table.

  “No worries, I’ll be here, baby,” Los said with a mouth full of lobster meat.

  “Hello?”

  “Bitch, where are you?” Yari yelled into the phone.

  “Minding my mothafucking business. Why?”

  “Look, you’re my girl, so before I can confirm or
deny anything, I needed to run something by you.”

  “Yari, I was in the middle of something,” she said hoping to rush her overly dramatic friend off the phone.

  “Did you see Omari today?”

  “Not today, no, but I talked to him. Why, what’s up?” Trina asked as her heart dropped.

  “Well, I guess he was trying to call you, but you were sending him to voicemail just like you were sending me, so apparently, I’m supposed to be on my way to Miami?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she said remembering her lie, “It’s good now though.”

  “So I’m not coming?”

  “No, you’re not coming. I said it’s good now. I found something to do.”

  “You found something to do or someone to do? Girl, don’t act like Los didn’t leave outta here earlier today conveniently headed to Miami. I know he’s out there with you.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Trina said not ready to face her weakness.

  “Malachi already told me.”

  “Are you serious?” she asked whispering into the phone, “I don’t know why he calls himself broadcasting this shit to the world. There’s nothing to tell.”

  “Girl, I was lying, but I knew it. You are so transparent, Trina. The stars haven’t left your eyes since you saw him.”

  “Yari, it’s not even like that, okay? This is just two old friends catching up, and me finally getting some closure. I was in love with Jonah, and you can’t just forget about somebody like that.”

  “I never said you weren’t. I know how you felt about Jonah. Shit, I still know how you feel about him, but is that love for someone who can’t even love you back gonna keep you alone forever? Maybe Los came back for a reason. I mean you and I both know that you never really got over him, Jonah or not.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “That me and Malachi are on our way to Miami too. You deserve to see this through, Trina, but if Omari finds out that I’m not out there with you, he’s gonna wonder why, and I’m not tryna be the one to tell him. You know I can’t hold water.”

  “See, this is what I wanted to avoid. I’m gonna always have to sneak around with Los or whoever else when it comes to me being with another man. Jonah became their savior, and I am now and forever destined to be Jonah Lee’s lonely fiancée. I’m not even a widow.”