Last night had been so perfect. So unexpected. It was all the more I was looking for times a trillion. It had been scorching hot. We’d watched our “performance” twice and seeing us together like that had been one of the most erotic experiences of my life. Then we’d gone for round two in the shower and round three in the hallway. Hud had woken me up for round four and five around three in the morning. And we’d gone round six this morning before I got the text.
I hadn’t had any time to process what any of it meant. Or if it meant anything at all. There was no way I was ready to talk about it.
“Okay, well as soon as you want to talk about the fact that you’re in love, we’re here.”
“I’m not in love.” Sadly, my statement didn’t come out with as much conviction as I’d hoped.
“Yes, you are,” Cara insisted.
“If you weren’t in love, we would’ve already had a play by play of last night,” Destiny pointed out. “I have to admit, it’s a little disappointing.”
“Disappointing,” I repeated defensively. The urge to defend Hud overwhelmed me and before I knew it, I was doing just that. Words were flying out of my mouth faster than I could keep up with them. “Hud is amazing. Not only is he building a camp for underprivileged and disabled kids, he’s also using the facility as an animal rescue. He’s dedicated his life to serving people in his job and now he’s using his own money and doing it in his free time, too. He’s one of the most honest and hard-working men I know, and he would be the most if it wasn’t for my dad and brothers—but he’s right up there with them. He would do anything for anyone, and he does. He takes care of everyone, but especially the people he loves. Why in the hell would it be disappointing if I was in love with him?”
Cara and Destiny were both staring at me silently. They gave each other a knowing glance that made me want to hit something, and when they turned back to me they were wearing identical grins on their faces.
Destiny held up her hands in mock-surrender. “I meant the fact that we wouldn’t be getting a play by play was disappointing. I’ve always wanted to know if the myths and rumors about what Hud is packing are true.”
They were.
“Whoa, if the blush that just shot up your cheeks is any indication, I’d say they are.” Destiny clapped her hands and giggled.
I shook my head. I wasn’t easily embarrassed. Growing up with eight brothers kind of took care of that. But right now I had to admit, I was. And not just because I may have just given away the fact that Hud was hung like a horse. No, my embarrassment stemmed from my rant.
Where had that come from?
“Okay.” Cara clapped her hands together, which she always did when she was trying to change the subject, in an effort to keep the peace. “Well, if you guys have time, I really would love your advice on flowers, music, and table cloths. We’re keeping it really simple, but I still want it to feel like a wedding.”
We all hopped up and gathered around the kitchen table. As we sat in planning mode, I tried to keep my mind on the linens, centerpieces, and song selections—but all I could think about was my over-the-top reaction to Destiny’s comment.
The more I thought about it, the more I kept coming back to the same conclusion…I was in love with Hud. Madly. Completely. In love.
And all he wanted was one night.
Chapter 21
Hudson
“Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.”
~ Loretta Reed
“It’s so good to have two of my boys under one roof,” my mom gushed as she handed me a dish to put away on a high shelf.
My brother Holden was home for my parents’ anniversary party the following weekend. He’d just competed and defended his world title belt and he planned on taking some time off to be here for a few weeks.
“Have you heard from Hayden lately?” he asked as he finished off his third piece of apple pie.
We’d always teased him that he had a hollow leg. It amazed me how much food he could put down in one sitting.
“Yesterday. We Facetimed. He’s…” She waved the dish towel she was holding in the air. “Somewhere in the desert. He couldn’t say where, but he looked good.”
My youngest brother Hayden was an Army Ranger and it seemed that the better he was at his job, the less we knew about where he was or what he was doing. I was beyond proud of my baby brother. Proud and worried.
He texted and emailed when he could, and he managed to Facetime my mom once a week, which we were all grateful for. If he didn’t, my poor mom would most likely make herself sick imagining the worst.
Just like I had when I’d gotten that text from Harmony. Before spending the past few weeks with Harmony, I’d never understood my mom’s tendency to always jump to the worst-case scenario conclusion. But now…now I knew exactly where she was coming from.
I loved my parents. I loved my brothers. And I worried about them a normal, healthy amount. Unlike the abnormal, not even close to healthy amount that I worried about Harmony.
This morning when I’d turned around from the stove and seen her crying at the kitchen table, my heart felt like it stopped beating in my chest. And it didn’t start again until I knew that she was okay. Physically, at least. She wasn’t emotionally okay until she’d found out Cara was pregnant, not sick.
I’d texted her about an hour into my shift to check on her and she told me she was at Cara’s planning a wedding that was going to happen in three weeks. My first thought when I read her message was I wish it were ours.
Which was exactly the reason it was a good thing that she was no longer going to be working up at the ranch with me.
Last night had been infinitely better and exponentially worse than I could’ve ever prepared for. Better because being with Harmony was…everything. Besides being hotter than hell and the best sex I’d ever had, being with her felt natural. Right. When we were together, nothing else mattered. My entire existence became condensed to the moment that we were in. I’d never felt so present. So alive. It was, hands down, the best night of my life.
It was worse because, as much as I tried, I couldn’t seem to get her out of my system. Every time we were together it just made me want her more. Instead of being satisfied, I wanted more. I needed her more.
I’d never done any hard drugs because, since my dad was a cop, I’d seen what drugs did to people when I was growing up. It destroyed their lives and their families’ lives. All that mattered to a junkie was their next hit. They didn’t care what they had to do to get it. That was what it was like being with Harmony—I would do anything for my next hit. Not just physically, but I would do anything to see her smile, to see her eyes light up when she looked at me, to hear the soft sounds of her breathing while she slept.
Even now, I hadn’t seen her for fourteen hours and I felt like I was coming out of my skin. She’d texted me about an hour ago and it was killing me to not text her back. It was a flirty text, asking me where I got the bone for Romeo and if I wanted to bring another one over.
As badly as I wanted to text back yes, or better yet just show up at her door, I knew I couldn’t. At work today, I’d barely been able to concentrate on the stacks of paperwork I needed to get through. I was making rookie mistakes that had cost me at least a couple of hours to fix.
This had to stop. Not that I had any idea how to make that happen. I’d tried ignoring her for years, and then last night was supposed to have been about getting her out of my system. Which turned out to be an epic fail.
“Your dad said you took a personal day yesterday?”
“Yep.” We’d made it through dinner and dessert. I was actually surprised it had taken her this long to bring it up.
She handed me another dish. “I saw Mrs. Lana at church this morning and she mentioned that she saw your car outside Harmony’s last night. Was everything okay?”
Damn small towns.
“Harmony Briggs?” Holden perked up.
Hearing her nam
e come out of his mouth had me suppressing a growl.
“How’s she doing?” he asked, doing a bad impression of Joey from Friends.
“She’s fine.” This time I did growl.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mom taking in the interaction and I knew that, unless I wanted her to chair an all-out “Hudson and Harmony” campaign, I needed to get my shit under control.
“Why were you at her house last night?” The faux innocence in my mom’s voice wasn’t fooling anyone. “Is she all right?”
“She’s fine. It was her birthday. I stopped by to give her a present.” And I did. I gave her ten climactic presents.
Holden’s forehead wrinkled as he raised his brows. “I didn’t know you two were close.”
“Harmony’s been helping your brother out up at the ranch,” my mom chirped, a little too happily for my liking.
“She wasn’t helping me out,” I corrected. “She was there doing supervised community service.”
“And you were supervising her?” Holden wagged his brows.
“Yes.” I ignored my brother’s juvenile innuendo.
Stretching his arm over the back of the stool beside him, my brother rolled his neck from side to side. “I was actually planning on heading up with you tomorrow, so I can see the progress.”
Bullshit.
“She finished her hours Friday. Still want to come up?”
He shrugged.
My mom tilted her head slightly. “I thought she had another week?”
“She’s finished.” Just like I was with this conversation.
Never one to give up easily, my mom changed tactics. “Do you know if she’s coming to the party? She was such a doll helping me pick out the flowers. I’d love for her to see how it all comes together.”
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.”
I could feel my brother’s assessing stare like lasers pointed at me as he asked the question, “Do you know if she’s seeing anybody?”
“No,” I answered flatly.
“Well, if she doesn’t have a date, maybe I should ask her.”
“You two always did get along,” my mom co-signed.
“Yes.” He smiled smugly, never breaking eye contact with me. “Yes we did.”
My brother and I had only gotten into one fight, one real fight, and that was over fifteen years ago. It had been over him stealing a signed Babe Ruth collector baseball card. I’d found out about it and beat the crap out of him then made him return the card.
That fight had been a calculated decision. I knew that if I didn’t deal with him and my dad got a hold of him, there was a chance Holden would have spent the night in a cell. I’d always been protective of my brothers. It might’ve been a funny way of showing it, but even that beat down was me trying to take care of him.
I never thought I’d actually want to hurt him. But right now? Right now I wanted to knock his ass out.
“You sure she’s not seeing anyone?” He leaned forward on the counter.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew what he was doing—what he and my mom were doing. They were baiting me. Trying to get a reaction out of me. Trying to break me so I would tell my brother to back off. That she was mine.
What they didn’t know was…she wasn’t and she never could be.
“No.” I shook my head and forced my shoulders to relax. “You should give her a call.”
As much as it pained me to say those words, I knew I had to. She wasn’t mine, and that was just a fact. I had one perfect night with her. One night that would have to last me a lifetime. A lifetime without Harmony Briggs beside me.
Chapter 22
Harmony
“The only way to guarantee that you won’t get what you want, is not ask for it.”
~ Loretta Reed
“You don’t think I’m a stalker, do you, handsome boy?”
Romeo didn’t respond. I chose to take his silence as support of my actions.
Even with my canine companion’s perceived thumbs up, I still wasn’t feeling exactly confident in what I was doing. I didn’t need my degree in psychology to know that it was never a bad idea to evaluate your actions if you were unsure if said behavior was healthy or sane.
Had I texted Hudson several times in the last three days and received no response in return? Yes.
Had I just driven up to the ranch, uninvited, because I knew he would be here working on it? Yes.
Had I brought a batch of my mom’s famous fried chicken as a manipulation tactic that I hoped would force him to eat lunch with me? Yes.
Had I put on a sundress, cowboy boots, and nothing else (like undergarments) in hopes to seduce him? Yes.
On paper it didn’t look good. But, none of those facts took into account the night we’d spent together, and all the things he’d said to me. Or the fact that his brother had called me, completely out of the blue, and asked if I wanted to go to his parents’ anniversary party on Saturday with him. He’d explained that Hud had told him to call.
Even if nothing was going to happen between us, I still deserved some answers.
Right? Right.
Steeling myself with every ounce of confidence I could muster, I grabbed the picnic basket—which held my flannel blanket in addition to food and a dog treat—from the backseat. I headed straight for the barn, where I assumed he was because one of the doors was open. Romeo trailed beside me, his nose glued to the chicken-scented wicker container.
As I got closer to the entrance of the barn, I could hear the sound of a saw. Just the knowledge that I was about to lay eyes on Hud had my heart fluttering like a hummingbird. My body ached to be near him.
It was shocking—like finger-in-an-outlet shocking—how much I missed him. And not just the sex. I mean, let’s be real, I did miss the sex. Before Hud, I never knew sex could be that amazing, that connected, that hot. My body desperately wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to have his arms around me. I missed all of that, but even more, I missed knowing the next time I was going to see him. I missed the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. I missed his smile. His eyes. His voice. His laugh.
I just missed him.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the barn and my fluttering heart began thudding heavily. Hud was leaning over the table saw, cutting wood in a ball cap, jeans, and a sleeveless shirt. A sheen of sweat covered his muscled arms, highlighting every dip, every vein in his chiseled form.
Before I got the chance to announce my arrival, Romeo took care of it for me. He barked happily and ran over to his alpha leader. Hud lifted his head and I saw his face for the first time. For a split second I saw the same vulnerability, the same openness in his eyes that I had on my birthday. But then, in a flash, it was gone. Like someone had pulled a curtain down.
“What are you doing here?” He took his gloves off and bent down to Romeo, rubbing his head, barely sparing me a glance.
I knew that there was a very good chance he wouldn’t be happy to see me, considering the fact that he hadn’t returned a single one of my texts. But that didn’t mean it still didn’t sting a little. Or a lot.
But I was here now, so I put on my best fake smile and held up the picnic basket. “I brought lunch.”
“I already ate.” He responded, his attention still fully focused on Romeo.
“It’s my mom’s fried chicken.”
That got his attention.
He stood up slowly. “You brought your mom’s fried chicken?”
“Yep.”
Which wasn’t an easy feat. My mom only made her famous fried chicken on my dad’s birthday. Once a year. It didn’t matter if we begged, cried, or bribed her. That was it. No exceptions. Or so I thought…
Thankfully, Destiny had filled me in on the fact that JJ had coaxed my mom into making a batch when he was trying to convince Destiny that he wasn’t really an asshole, he’d just been playing one on TV…or I guess in the MLB.
With that nugget of information in my back pocke
t, I’d been able to guilt my mom into whipping up a batch for me. I was pulling out the big guns.
Taking off his hat, he ran his hands through his hair. “Thanks, but I already ate.”
Seriously?!
Anger, frustration, and hurt were all battling for top billing in the movie that was my life. Since I’d always been a mad-motivated more than a sad-motivated gal, I opted to give the marquee spot to anger.
I’d tried to play nice. I’d been sending fun, flirty texts. I’d shown up in a dress—sans panties—with fried chicken. Nice wasn’t working. Time to play dirty.
In four long strides, I crossed the open space between us. With every step I took, I noticed his shoulders bunch tighter, but his expression held no hint of what he was feeling.
I stopped up short, directly in front of him and I dropped the basket on the table saw. “Did you know that Holden asked me to your parents’ anniversary party?”
Other than his nostrils flaring, his face remained unreadable. “He mentioned something about that.”
“So then you did tell him to give me a call.”
His eyes flinched briefly, as if a stab of pain had shot through him. “I might’ve said something like that.”
“So you want me to go to the party with him?”
“You’re a big girl, Princess. You can go where you want. With who you want.”
I tried not to let his callous, cold words penetrate me. It was obvious what he was doing. He was trying to push me away, just like he’d been doing for years. What I didn’t know was why.
Standing strong, I knew there was only one way I’d get the answers I wanted. My lips turned up in a smile and I asked, “Is that what you do? Once you’re through with a girl you pass her along to your brother? Holden doesn’t mind sloppy seconds?”
His stoic façade shattered like glass hit by a hammer. He advanced forward, backing me up against the barn wall. When my back was flat against the wooden boards he lifted his arms, caging me in. His golden eyes once again were shining with the inner light of his soul as he stared down at me.
Discovering Harmony (Wishing Well, Texas #3) Page 16