by Kendall Ryan
“Corrigan?”
Just the sound of my name in that deep, raspy voice sends a bristle up my spine, making me stand up a little straighter. I know that voice all too well. It’s the same one from the voice mail, and from my daydreams and nightmares over the last ten years. And now it sends my heart rate even higher than it was during that last round of burpees.
This can’t be happening. Especially not now, when I haven’t washed my hair in three days, and I probably smell like a dirty gym sock.
Oh God.
I look down at my oversize T-shirt, which is sticking to me in all the wrong places. Maybe my imagination is playing dirty tricks on me. I should just ignore it and keep walking.
“Corrigan, wait up.”
The voice is closer now, and there’s no denying it’s Lexington. Here, now, and quickly approaching.
I chew my lower lip, frantically weighing my options. I could brush it off, pretend I was just stopping to tie my shoe and didn’t even hear him. But one glance down at my feet reminds me that I had the foresight to go for a double knot. Shoot.
Sucking in a deep breath, I gather up whatever confidence I have and reluctantly turn around.
My heart hammers in my chest and my stomach ties itself in an intricate knot because there he is. Lexington Dane. All six feet, one inch of him, just a few yards away from me. In dark-washed jeans and a plain white tee, he looks every bit as unfairly handsome as I expected.
What I wasn’t expecting, however, is the fact that he’s not alone. His big, tanned hands grip the handles of a dark gray stroller, and as he slows to a stop in front of me, I get a peek at the precious blond-haired angel inside.
“Um, hello,” I manage to squeak out, my gaze fixed on the munchkin in the stroller, who is blinking curiously at me while chewing on the foot of a G.I. Joe doll.
She’s adorable but she’s also making me ten times more confused about this whole situation. I’ve played out dozens of scenarios in my head where I run into Lexington and tell him off for what he did to me. But none of those scenarios involved a child. Crazier yet, a child who totally has his hypnotic blue eyes.
“Hello to you too,” Lexington says with an easy laugh. Curse him for being so casual about this awkward as hell reunion we find ourselves in.
“What are you doing here?” I mumble, dodging his gaze as I fold my arms over my chest.
“We’re on a walk. It’s a public park. This is what parks are for.”
I can barely conceal my eye roll. “No, I mean what are you doing in Wilmington?”
His voice cracks slightly. “We wanted to be closer to my mom.”
“Who is we?” I brace myself for his answer. Here it comes, the name of the woman who replaced me. I can already picture her—tall and thin, and far more metropolitan than I’ll ever be.
“Me and this little munchkin.”
Leaning over the stroller, Lexington unbuckles her, and then scoops his little blond sidekick into his muscular arms. She giggles in delight as he props her up on his hip, but I’m not nearly so happy about her change in location. Unless I want to look like a complete psychopath, I can’t keep staring at an empty stroller. Which means I have no choice but to look Lexington Dane in the eye.
All right. Here goes.
Slowly, I let my gaze inch up from the stroller, passing over the fitted white T-shirt stretched tight across his muscular chest, and the dusting of stubble along his angular jaw, until my gaze locks with his electric-blue eyes. It’s my first real look at Lexington in over ten years, and although I hate to admit it, the man looks good. Like, really good. Almost too good for it to be fair. Especially considering how disgusting I feel and more than likely look at the moment.
Irony is a bitch.
“Is she your . . .” I gesture between him and the giggly little girl bouncing on his hip.
“My daughter.” With a big, proud smile, he presses a soft kiss into her white-blond hair before tugging at the ruffled sleeve of her tiny pink shirt. “Grier, can you wave hi to Corrigan?”
With some gentle urging, Grier raises one chubby hand and wiggles it at me. “Hi,” she squeaks, then pushes her face into her daddy’s shirt sleeve.
It’s way cute, but I’m too shell-shocked to so much as wave back. I’m busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that Lexington Dane is a father. I know I shouldn’t ask this question, but I can’t help myself. I’m too curious.
“Who’s her mom?” My voice is abrupt, and the second the awkward question leaves my lips, I wish I could shove it back inside. I’m curious, of course, but I don’t want him to know that. I don’t want him thinking I’m interested in him or his life. He can sleep with and make babies with whoever he wants. It shouldn’t matter to me. Yet, it does. Deeply. And now I’ve just revealed that to him.
The proud look on his face falls into a more somber one. “She’s not in the picture. It’s a story for another time.”
“Oh,” I say, not exactly a witty response, but it’s the best I’ve got.
I can’t help but sneak a peek at his left hand. Sure enough, his fourth finger is bare. Could Lexington really be a single dad? I don’t even know how to begin processing that information.
“Well, I’ve gotta get this one down for a nap,” he says, breaking the uncomfortable silence as he returns little Grier to her stroller. “But you and I should catch up. Swing by later? I just got a new espresso machine that you can help me break in.” His gaze lingers on mine and my body warms under the scrutiny of his blue eyes.
I shift my weight from one foot to the other, eyeing my car in my peripheral vision. “I have plans with Sarah Jo, actually. I should probably—”
“Tomorrow then,” he says, voice softening. “Please?”
I draw in a long breath, holding it behind my lips as I think through my reply.
I could feed him some corny line about him being part of my past, not my present. Or I could muster up an excuse about having plans for tomorrow too. I could even just flat-out tell him no.
But I don’t.
Instead, when I let out that breath I’ve been holding, what comes out is, “Text me your address.”
He arches one thick, dark brow in my direction. “Same number as high school?”
“Same number,” I say with a nod, immediately realizing my mistake. If I still have the same number, then . . .
“Then why didn’t you reply to my voice mail?” He finishes my thought out loud, the tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at his lips.
“I was busy,” I say quickly, my voice wavering ever so slightly.
Lexington’s eyes narrow with skepticism. He’s always possessed the unique ability to know when I’m lying, even when no one else can tell. It looks like that skill hasn’t worn off in the last ten years.
Luckily, I’m not lying about my plans with Sarah Jo this afternoon. We have a twelve thirty brunch reservation, and I definitely need to go home and shower first.
Checking my smartwatch, I wince at the time. “I really have to get going. I’ve got a reservation to make.”
He nods. “Well, it was good to see you.”
“Good to, um, yeah,” I stammer. But by the look in his eyes, I’m guessing he can see right through that lie too.
After a short drive consisting of me screaming into the silence in my car, and questioning if the last ten minutes of my life were some weird dream, I’m back home.
Not for long, though. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I’m back in the car in under half an hour, firing off a text to Sarah Jo before I hit the gas.
On my way now. I hope you’re ready for some crazy news.
My phone buzzes with her reply almost immediately. No words, just about a million exclamation points. God, I love this girl.
We arrive at the restaurant at about the same time, sharing a quick hug in front of the hostess stand before we’re taken to a table near the back. Thank goodness we snagged a reservation in advance. There isn’t an empty table in this place.
Normally, I’d be bothered by all the noise of a crowded restaurant, but not today. Whatever it takes to drown out the enormous gasp Sarah Jo is going to let out when I drop this bomb on her.
The second we sit down, my best friend props her elbows on the table, leaning into full-on gossip mode. “Okay, spill. What’s the big news?”
I fill her in on the details of my run-in this morning, including the fact that Lexington Dane is, much to my dismay, even better looking than he was in high school. And to add insult to injury, my pit stains were half the size of the state of Texas when he saw me.
“Worst timing ever.” She groans, her voice brimming with sympathy. “I think you deserve extra pancakes for having to deal with that.”
Before she can bury her nose too far in the menu, I hit her with the coup de grâce, the information that takes this whole Lexington thing from weird to wild.
“There’s one more tiny thing,” I say, pinching my fingers together to form an itty-bitty space I can barely see through. “Well, not that tiny. But small enough to still fit in a crib, if you get my gist.”
Sarah Jo drops her menu, her brows knitting together. “What do you . . .” Before she can finish the thought, it finally clicks, and her whole face goes totally slack. “No freaking way. Are you telling me he has a kid?”
I nod. “A daughter. But there’s no ring on his finger. So I think he’s a single dad.”
Sarah Jo’s jaw drops as she leans back in her seat, pressing her fingers into her temples. “This is actually too much for me to handle.”
“Imagine finding out the way I did. As if running into him in public wasn’t enough, the guy was pushing her in a stroller. Talk about a one-two punch.” I actually thought my heart was going to stop for a minute there.
“So, what’s the plan?” She cracks her knuckles, a wicked smile tugging at her lips. “Do we egg his house? Or maybe we play the long game and wait till his daughter is in your class? Then you can just, like, teach her the alphabet backward or something.”
I shake my head. “You’re not going to believe this, but he actually asked me to come over tomorrow.”
Sarah Jo’s jaw drops. “Like, to his house? You’re not even meeting up in public?”
I shrug. “He brought up his new espresso machine. How am I supposed to resist that?” I joke, hoping I don’t sound as crazy as I feel right now. My emotions are all over the place.
Sarah Jo just shakes her head at me.
When the waitress swings by moments later, and we both place our orders for short stacks of pancakes and tall cups of coffee. Once our server disappears, though, Sarah Jo leans in even closer, squinting her eyes like she’s trying to get a read on me.
“Be honest. You’re going so you can secretly put laxatives in his coffee, though, right?”
I shake my head. “Not quite. I think I’m just going to hear him out. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get an apology.”
Sarah Jo frowns at me, unamused. “It’s ten years too late for that.”
“Believe me, I know.” I sigh, picking nervously at the corner of a paper napkin. “I have zero intentions of getting involved with this man ever again. But I never got any explanation when he totally disappeared from my life. No closure whatsoever. Maybe this is what I need so I can let go of all this stupid anger and resentment and move on.”
“And maybe download that dating app I keep telling you about?”
I give her a knowing look. “One step at a time, SJ.”
• • •
I’m sitting in my car outside of Lexington Dane’s house. That is definitely a sentence I never thought I would say again.
I used to drive over to his house all the time the summer after my junior year, right before he went off to college. Sometimes we’d cruise down to the beach and just talk. Other times, we never left his mom’s driveway, too busy making out under the cover of darkness. Now, with his mom’s house just down the street from Lexington’s new place, the déjà vu is real.
I take a deep breath, trying to slow my clamoring heart. As I walk up the brick path to the front door, I realize that my knees are actually shaking a little.
Why am I so nervous? If anything, Lexington should be the nervous one. He’s the one who made a major mistake all those years ago. All I have to do is keep my cool and try not to unleash ten years’ worth of angry questions on him in front of his daughter because once I start ranting I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.
I press the doorbell, and moments later, I hear the uneven patter of Grier’s tiny feet toddling across the floor, followed by the slow, measured steps of her father. When the front door opens, I spot Grier first. She’s got on ladybug-patterned pj’s, her blond hair gathered into a teeny ponytail on the top of her head. But as cute as she is, the real view is behind her.
If I thought Lexington looked good yesterday, it’s only because I hadn’t seen him totally in his element yet. He’s dressed in all black, from his joggers to his T-shirt to his baseball cap with some team logo I don’t recognize.
Okay, I was so not prepared for these hot dad vibes. But if the typical dad bod is supposed to be soft, Lexington is failing at this, because his body is broad and firm, and filled out with more muscle than he ever had before.
A sweet, easy smile pulls at his lips as he runs a hand over the scruff along his jaw. “Good morning. Sorry, we’re a little bit slow getting started today.”
“Is this still a good time?” I say, holding back what I really want to ask. Is this seriously how good you look first thing in the morning? Because, fuck me running, this is not okay.
“Of course. We’ve been excited to see you all morning.” Squatting down to Grier’s level, Lexington lays a protective hand on her shoulder. “Do you remember Corrigan from yesterday, love bug?”
Grier blinks her bright blue eyes at me, starts to smile, then squeals and hides her face against Lexington’s arm.
“She’s shy around new people at first,” he says as he stands and motions me inside. “C’mon. I’ve already got the coffee ground.”
Following closely behind him, I step into a house that is shockingly put together for someone who’s only lived here a few days. Sure, there are still quite a few cardboard boxes stacked in the corners, and Grier’s toys are spread all across the living room rug, but the crisp, clean design he’s going for is already emerging.
I trail my fingers along the back of a pale ivory-colored couch. Bold choice for a man with a toddler. Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
“Okay, love bug, let’s pick out a toy to play with while the grownups are talking.”
Grier squeals as he scoops her up and carries her over to the center of the living room. “Bat.”
At first, I think maybe Grier is super into baseball or something, but then Grier jabs one finger toward a stuffed bat that looks more like a Halloween decoration than a toy.
“Bat, it is.” Lexington laughs, grabbing the bat and smirking in my direction. “My weird kid, right?”
I smile back, watching as he makes the stuffed bat flap its wings, earning giddy applause from Grier.
It’s crazy to see him like this. This big, muscular man, being so soft and gentle with his beautiful little girl. It almost makes me forget how awkward this whole situation is.
Until yesterday, I hadn’t spoken to him since he broke my heart a full decade ago. Now I’m standing in his house, watching him play with his daughter, who I just found out existed. Strange doesn’t even begin to cover it.
With Grier all settled, Lexington pushes to his feet, sweeping one hand toward the kitchen. “Shall we?”
Lord, let the espresso give me strength.
6
* * *
LEXINGTON
I show Corrigan into the breakfast nook that connects the kitchen and living room, where I can keep an eye on Grier playing while we talk. “Have a seat. I’ll just be a sec. Do you, uh, want any cream or sugar or anything?”
She just shakes h
er head.
“You sure? This new machine has a milk frother. It’s pretty crazy . . . heh.” Shut up, you idiot. I might actually be dying here.
My chest aches when I look at her but I can’t tell her that. Can’t tell her how many times I’ve regretted what I did and wanted to beg for her back. But back then, I did what I had to do.
“Nah, black is fine,” she says. A beat passes before she adds, “But thanks for offering.”
I let the noise of the espresso maker cover my total lack of intelligent things to say. Holy shit, this is awkward. The other half of the best relationship I’ve ever had is in my house, looking even more beautiful than I remember—which is saying a lot—and is clearly still furious with me.
I keep glancing at her, and then get paranoid I’m being too obvious and drop my gaze again. But I can’t help it.
And if I’m not mistaken, ever since we met at the park yesterday, she’s also been sneaking the occasional peek at me too. I’m so aware of how close she is, how emotionally charged the air between us feels, and I can’t stop myself overthinking what it means every time I feel her gaze on me.
Just breathe, dude.
I pour and serve the coffee, then sit down across the small table from her. For a minute, we just sip our drinks, only Grier’s happy babbling breaking the silence.
Finally, Corrigan quietly murmurs, “This is good.”
I nod. “I’m glad.”
She sets down her empty demitasse cup with a harsh clink and raises her eyebrows in impatient prodding. “So . . .”
Come on, Lex. You asked her here for a reason. Get your shit together.
I clear my throat. “Right. I guess I should start by telling you why I’m here.” I take a deep breath. “Mom’s health has gotten pretty bad.” I hesitate, then decide to bite the bullet. “She’s dying.”
Corrigan’s eyes grow wide. “What? When? What’s wrong?”