The Shadows of Christmas Past

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The Shadows of Christmas Past Page 17

by Christine Feehan


  She felt her body respond immediately. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

  chapter 12

  « ^ »

  "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, Cole, and I haven't had a nightmare since we ran into Maia in the restaurant." Jase shoveled scrambled eggs onto his plate and scooped up bacon to go along with it. "If the doc is a vegetarian, why is she all gung ho to cook us a turkey?"

  "You'll have to ask her that."

  "Have you had nightmares since we met Maia?"

  Cole nodded. "Yeah. But they don't last long."

  Jase paused in his frantic eating to look up at his brother. "If the tree really bothers you, Cole, I'll help you take it down. The doc will understand."

  "No, the tree stays up. I can get through the night, Jase. I like the tree."

  "I do too," the boy said, relieved. "I kind of like the whole Christmas thing. The doc makes it feel different I'm not sure why, but she makes everything so fun."

  "On Christmases past, I always felt an outsider looking in," Cole said.

  Jase bunked and swallowed quickly. "That's it! That's how I always felt Sometimes you're smart, Cole."

  "Thanks, Jase." A trace of humor showed in Cole's eyes.

  "You're welcome." Jase leaned his chin into his palm as he thoughtfully chewed a mouthful of food. "I've been giving a lot of thought to this, Cole. I think we should keep her. We need to keep the doc."

  Cole's mouth twitched in an odd approximation of a smile. "Keep her? As in lock her up? I don't know that she'd be too happy with that, Jase."

  Jase flashed an exasperated frown. "Do I have to spell it out for you? You need a wife. You really do. And I need a mom, and the doc is perfect for us, so ask her to marry you."

  "You've been thinking about this for all of what? Five minutes? What exactly are we offering her, Jase?"

  "Money. We've got lots of money. She likes the house, and she really likes kissing you, so maybe you should step up that part of it. I think she'll go for it."

  Cole shook his head. "You need to do a little more thinking, Jase. You know we can't just buy her. Maia isn't like that. And I don't have all that much to offer her, but I'm working on it."

  Jase's face brightened. "You are? I really want her to stay with us, Cole. She makes us feel like we belong."

  "We do belong. Whether or not I can get her to stay, we're always going to be family."

  "Good morning!" Maia entered the kitchen, her smile wide as she took in the sight of the two brothers eating breakfast. "You're up before me this morning."

  Cole was not going to allow her to get away with putting distance between them. He'd made it damn clear last night he was making love to her, not having sex. And this wasn't going to be a one-night stand. Jase might have had the right idea. He needed to step things up.

  Cole snagged her around the waist and pulled her into his arms, settling his mouth over hers firmly. Staking a claim as blatantly as he could. His hand curved around the nape of her neck, held her still while his teeth tugged at her lower lip and his tongue teased at the seam until she opened for him. Her body softened, seemed to melt right into his as he kissed her thoroughly. At once he pulled her tight against him, losing himself in her heat, in the rising tide of intense desire she brought with her.

  Jase cleared his throat. "See? I told you she likes kissing you. Are you two going to be doing that all the time, because it's okay with me if you are, just not in the kitchen."

  "Yes," Cole said decisively.

  "No," Maia assured at the same time. They exchanged a long look. She laughed and rubbed Cole's jaw. "You're looking all serious and stubborn this morning, Steele. I was planning on making gingerbread for a gingerbread house and using the gumdrops in the cupboard for trees. No one can be serious when we bake for Christmas."

  "Hey! Those are my gumdrops! I made Cole buy them for me, and I'm not giving them up."

  "We need them for the gingerbread house. It's part of decorating for Christmas," Maia explained patiently. "We have to use whatever is available and gumdrops work."

  Jase held up his hand. "We're not going to eat the gingerbread?"

  "No, I'm going to make a really cute house and decorate it with frosting and whatever else I can find."

  He shook his head. "She's crazy, Cole. You can't bake bread and not expect us to eat it. You're going too far, Doc. I can do without the cute house, but the stomach demands food and baked goods."

  "You aren't getting into the spirit of the season, Jase," Maia pointed out.

  "Yeah, and I'm not going to either if you deny me food." He stuffed more toast into his mouth. "And stay away from my gumdrops."

  "Don't talk with your mouth full."

  Cole poured Maia tea from the teapot he had steeping under a small towel. "Before you start baking gingerbread for houses, would you mind going out to the stable and checking out the horses. See if any of them pass on any memories to you."

  Her heart gave a curious flutter. He'd made her tea the exact way she liked it, even adding a small amount of milk. "What are you planning?" She set the teacup on the counter, a slight frown on her face.

  There was anxiety in her turquoise eyes. Cole caught her hand, holding it against his side. "It's no big deal if you can't find out any more details," he assured her. "I'm going to shake things up a little regardless and see what happens. I checked, and we've got a short window of opportunity. The weather should clear for Christmas Eve."

  "I don't like the sound of that" Maia said. "Opportunity for what? And what are you shaking up?" She tightened her fingers around his. "You aren't going to do anything crazy, are you?"

  She looked so afraid for him he bent down to brush the top of her head with a kiss. It was an amazing feeling to have someone worry about him. "I just want you to see if you can give us a little dearer picture, that's all."

  "Clearer picture of what?" Jase asked, his eyes bright with curiosity.

  Maia expected Cole to hedge, but he didn't He let go of Maia, to sit across the table from the boy. She picked up her tea and followed.

  "I'm beginning to think all these accidents, with the horse, with you, Maia and the ice, even the old man's murder, are all connected. We promised one another we'd be honest. You're not a baby, and I don't intend to hide anything from you. I may be completely off base, but if I'm not, we have a problem on our hands."

  Jase went very still. "You think it's Al?"

  Cole drummed his fingers on the tabletop. "I don't know about Al. I hope not. He pulled you away from the fence that was giving way, and he's done a good job with the crew and given his best to the ranch."

  "He's helped me a lot," Jase said, his voice tight. "No one ever took the time to work with me. I've learned about the horses and cattle, the hay, even repairing fences. He always answers my questions, and he never makes me feel stupid."

  "I like the man too, Jase," Cole said. "I honestly don't know one way or the other, but if I'm right about all this, I don't think he could be in on it. If I'm right, his brother-in-law is the perp, and he tried to get you and Al off the ranch."

  "I never liked Fred." Jase ducked his head. "I was sometimes afraid it was you, Cole." He confessed it in a soft rush of words. "I'm sorry. I tried not ever to think it, but I can't seem to trust anyone very much."

  Cole's smile held no humor. "If anyone can understand, Jase, it's definitely me. I was having the same problem worrying about you. We'll make it through this and whatever else is thrown at us. Together. Maia's right. We can make our own traditions and become a family right here. We've come a long way just by taking back the house."

  Jase nodded. "That's true. And it looks great. The doc threw a bunch of pillows on all the furniture in the living room, and it looks completely different. With the tree and Mom's quilt, I feel like the house is really ours."

  Maia set her teacup on the table and stood up. "I'm glad you like it, Jase. I'd better get to work if you want me to check the horses in the stable too. I'll see to Wally first, check the horses, th
en feed the mountain lion. I don't want her scent on me when I'm around the horses."

  "I didn't think about that," Jase said.

  "You've always got to remember what you're doing around exotics, Jase. You can never become complacent. You can't ever turn your back on them. People have no business owning them and trying to turn them into pets. I've heard of a tiger being kept in an apartment building. It was rescued, but then what do you do with it? Zoos have little funding, and the rescue sanctuaries are full. It leaves euthanasia as the only choice. It makes me angry."

  Her gaze met Cole's piercing blue eyes, and she shrugged. "I told you I have a bad temper. Anything to do with the mistreatment of animals brings out the worst in me. It takes so much to run the rescue sanctuaries, and half the time they don't have the funding they need to feed and shelter and provide veterinarian care for exotics."

  "Why is it so much, Doc?" Jase asked. "You'd think people would pay to see the animals, and that would provide the money for their care."

  "It would be nice if it were that simple, but it isn't. You need licensed people who know what they're doing, an enormous area, and all exotics have special needs. You can't return them to the wild like a lot of people mistakenly want you to do." Maia realized her voice was rising, and she blushed, holding up her hands in surrender. "I'll stop, it's the only safe thing to do."

  Cole leaned over to brush her mouth with his. "I like you all fired up. I can see we aren't going to have any hunting on this property anytime soon."

  She looked flustered, indignant, a little wary. Maia pulled away from him, glancing at Jase, who was grinning. "Is the weather really going to give us a break tomorrow?"

  Immediately the smile left the boy's face. "Not that much of a break, right Cole? Not enough to get into town."

  Cole's expression shut down completely. His shoulders tightened. He drummed his fingers on the table, watching Maia closely. "We could probably get you out if you really wanted to leave before Christmas, Maia. I don't want you to go, and neither does Jase, but if you have somewhere important to go, we'll do our best to get you there."

  Jase shook his head hard, his lips pressed tightly together. Maia caught the glitter of tears in his eyes as he turned away from her. The room was suddenly filled with terrible tension.

  "Somehow I can't see the two of you taking care of the mountain lion without me." She tried to keep her voice teasing to lighten the situation. Her heart was breaking for them both. A man and boy struggling to be normal when they didn't even know what normal was. She didn't need the pretense from them, and she didn't want it. Deliberately she poked Jase in the ribs. "You'd get eaten, although if Cole doesn't feed you every five minutes, the cat might be in danger."

  "It would depend on how hungry I am," Jase said.

  "Are you saying you would eat a cat?" Cole lifted his eyebrow, but inside he could feel the tight knots in his stomach beginning to loosen. She wasn't going to leave them. He had a reprieve.

  "Ugg, you're a sick, sick man, bro. I wouldn't really."

  Maia stood up, pushing back her chair. "I'm off to work; you both behave while I'm gone."

  "Actually, we're coming with you," Cole said decisively.

  Maia shrugged and picked up her bag. Frankly, she'd feel far better if they did come with her. If Cole was right, and his father had hidden something on the ranch that people felt was worth killing for, she didn't want to run into someone looking for it.

  Wally looked much better, and there was no sign of infection. His temperature was normal, and he was moving around the enclosure much more comfortably. Maia fed him his antibiotics with his grain and hay while Jase talked to him at great length.

  "He's a natural with animals," she told Cole, seeing the pride on his face as he watched his brother. "If he wants to be a veterinarian, he'll be a good one."

  "He's a great kid," Cole agreed, leaning one hand against the wall near her head, effectively caging her between the wall and his body. "And he's smart, Maia. The old man was a complete bastard, but he had brains. Jase is serious about hitting the books. He hasn't gone to a regular school, but he's had the best of tutors. Brett Steele didn't want idiots for sons, and he made certain we were well educated."

  "You don't have to convince me, Cole, I can see Jase is smart." She was fairly certain Cole had no idea how proud of his brother he sounded.

  "I wanted to thank you, for saying you'll stay through Christmas. He really needs you here." Cole hesitated a moment. He could hear his own heartbeat. "I do too." Had he really said it aloud? Damn, he sounded pathetic. He stood there, blocking her way so she couldn't walk away from him, terrified of losing her when he didn't really have her. When had his feelings changed from wanting to go to bed with her to needing her in his life? How had she wrapped herself inside of him?

  Maia stroked a hand down his chest. There were shadows in his eyes, a set to his mouth she didn't quite understand, and she was trained and always alert to read subtleties. More and more he reminded her of the mountain lion, wary, dangerous, in need but ready to strike out if threatened. "I want to stay," she admitted softly.

  Desire mingled with relief flared in his eyes. It hit her then. Cole Steele, the invincible, the man always aloof and uncaring, the man with supreme confidence, had very little where she was concerned. She went up on her toes and pressed a kiss onto his chin. "I really wanted to stay and not just because of the cat."

  "Or Jase. You're very fond of Jase," he prompted, needing to hear her admission.

  She laughed, her eyes warming into a brilliant blue-green. It was all he could do not to sweep her up into his arms and carry her off. Who would have thought one person could impact his life this way, make something he thought he lacked come alive deep inside of him and thrive and grow into such intense emotions.

  "You're such a baby. I'm very fond of Jase."

  He waited. When she didn't continue he stepped closer until her soft breasts pushed against his chest and his hips aligned perfectly with her, pressing against her body. "That's not very nice."

  There was a growl to his voice, a sensuality that sent fire zinging through her veins. It was impossible to resist him and she didn't even try. She moved her hips suggestively, a slight feminine enticement, her body soft and welcoming. "I wanted to stay to be with you."

  "Was that so hard?" He lowered his lips to hers mostly because he had to, because if he didn't he might really lose his mind and carry her off. The shape of her mouth was incredibly sexy, especially when she flashed her dynamite smile. He was drowning in lust, but more terrifying than that, he could feel love and it was overwhelming. So much so that he dared not examine the emotion too closely.

  Maia's arms encircled his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair. "You know it was," she murmured into his hot mouth. She loved kissing him. Loved touching him. She had no idea where it would lead, if anywhere. Her job kept her traveling constantly and Cole Steele wasn't exactly the settling-down type. She had left herself open for a tremendous amount of pain, and worse, she'd known it before she'd ever gone to his bedroom. It had been her choice. She'd made it willingly, hoping she would think her time with him had been worth it when she had to go.

  For a moment she leaned against him, into him, wanting to cling to his strength. All the while he was kissing her, making it impossible to think straight. And she didn't really want to, she wanted the fire flashing through her veins and over her skin. And she wanted the warmth in her heart, filling her until she ached with it.

  Jase banged Wally's stall gate closed with a little extra force to remind them he was still in the barn. Maia glanced at him to find him grinning from ear to ear. He shook his head at her.

  "I know. He's just irresistible, but we won't mention it because he's already so arrogant we can't take it."

  "Speak for yourself, Doc," Jase protested. "He doesn't do a thing for me."

  "Come on, you two," Cole said. "I'm letting you clean out the stalls while I feed the horses just for that, Jase," he added.


  Jase put his hand on his back and began groaning loudly as he followed them along the covered walkway to the stable.

  Cole and Jase fed and watered the horses while Maia wandered around the stable, taking her time, trying to get a feel of the place. It was a beautiful structure, well lit and functional. The horse stalls were roomy, and each led to the wide ring in the center of the building where the horses could be exercised and worked in any kind of weather. Like everything else, the builders had spared no expense, and the setup was as good as it could get.

  Maia leaned against the gate of a stall and talked softly to the occupant, waiting for the horse to come to her. She loved horses, loved the way they moved and the way they pressed their velvet noses into her palm when she murmured to them. They were always responsive. Most of the horses had memories of packing bundles along a mountain pathway to one of the larger buildings on the ranch. Two had memories of a young boy being beaten. The horse in the corner stall had vivid memories of being ridden hard, quartering the ground back and forth up in a mountainous area. A shudder ran through the horse when it recalled the sight of a mountain lion perched on a branch a distance away, the rifle burst, and the cat leaping to the ground and disappearing into heavy foliage.

  "Are you picking up anything?" Cole asked curiously.

  Maia nodded. "But I'm not certain what you're looking for."

  "Landmarks, something I can use to identify the area they were in, rock formations, the type of trees, a mountainous area versus a valley or a meadow. We have a couple of thousand acres, and if we include the state and federal lands, we're looking for a needle in a haystack."

  "I'll try again, but I can't direct them. I'm sort of a receiver." She felt she was failing him. The information was obviously important.

  Cole's hand curled around the nape of her neck, his thumb sliding along her jaw. "Whatever you give me is more than I had to start with."

  "Give me a little more time with this one." She indicated the horse in the corner stall.

 

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