“Baby, you have to be strong,” I tell her, taking her hand and guiding her over to Lori.
Her body shakes a little bit, and Marissa looks at the nurse with fear in her eyes.
“That is her body detoxing.”
Marissa sits next to her on the bed, taking her hand in hers and bringing it to her mouth where she kisses it and quietly sobs while she holds it to her face. Going closer to her, she holds her face in one hand while the other hand still holds on to her hand. “Baby, Momma’s here,” she tells her through her quiet sobs.
My heart is ripped to shreds by the pain that is coming out of her.
“I looked for you, everywhere.” She scoots closer to her, leaning down and kissing her face. “Every day I would drive down the street looking at all the faces, hoping that one would be yours.” She moves herself to lie on her side next to her and strokes her face tenderly. “I missed you so much. I haven’t been shopping since you left.” She continues to talk to her through her tears. “I prayed for signs and then I prayed for help, prayed for someone, anyone, to help me.” She then looks over at me and says, “He answered my prayers, baby. Mick saved you and brought you back to me.” She leans in closer to her daughter while she continues to talk to her softly. Telling her everything that she did to find her. Marissa closes her eyes, the events of the day finally catching up with her.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Marissa
“I can’t wait till you wake up and I can take you home. I got a new job,” I tell her while brushing her hair. It’s been five days since she was found, five days that she has been in the coma. It was my job as her mother to protect her, and I didn’t do that. I did the opposite of that. But I would make it up to her.
I held her while we both slept that first night. When her body would start shaking, I would talk to her till she calmed down. Tell her stories about when she was little. I would just talk so she knew I was here with her.
The day after was the worst, when the lights came on coupled with the sunlight coming into the room, and I could see her skin that was yellow almost like it was jaundiced. Her nails were broken and cracked with dirt under them.
Her arms were barely more than skin and bone. Purple bruises ran along her wrists along with scabs and scars. The hardest thing to see were the puncture wounds. The inside of her right arm was a huge scab. A nurse had told us that her vein must have collapsed, but they still kept injecting into it. Her hair was limp, oily, dirty.
The nurse came back that night to give her a sponge bath. Of course I didn’t let her. I bathed her myself. It was almost like I was trying to purge her system. Mick said he would wait outside while I bathed her, but if I needed him to just call for him.
I filled the basin with warm water and started at her feet. I know I should start at her hair, but her soles were black, yellow, and brown. The water had to be refilled after just one foot. Making my way up her legs, my breaking point was the dried blood on her inner thighs. The sight made me run to the bathroom and throw up the breakfast that Mick forced me to eat that morning.
Rinsing my mouth out with water, I looked at myself. “Be strong, be strong.” I chanted to myself.
The nurse that had been supervising me stood up from the chair. “If you want, Mrs. Sullivan, I can finish it.”
I shook my head. Grabbing the basin, I went back into the washroom and filled it with warmer water. Going back to the bed, I put my hand into the water, wringing the towel and then started washing her legs again. I picked up one leg and quickly washed away all the dry blood. I let warm water soak on her inner thighs before washing it off. The tears mixed with the water and blood. The left over blood and dried semen on her vagina was the breaking point. The sob ripped through me. Mick knocked at the door, opening it and looking down at the floor.
“Marissa.”
I looked down and covered her up so no one could see her anymore. “I’m okay, Mick,” I said through my hand. Hearing the door shut, I picked up the rag and continued cleaning her. I had to rinse the water ten times before I was able to wash her hair. It took about two hours to wash her from the bottom of her feet to the top of her head.
After I finished washing her hair, I combed through it and braided it like I did when she was younger.
When I finally finished, she looked clean again. I walked out into the hall, and Mick was there talking to Jackson and the other guy, Chris. As soon as Mick saw me, he came right to me, pulling me into his arms.
In his arms, I felt safe, I got strength, I knew I could survive anything. I wrapped my arms around his waist, breathing in his scent.
“Marissa,” I heard Jackson behind me. “Bella and I want you to know that if you need anything, you just call us.”
I wrapped my arm around Mick’s waist. I hated this, people acting like she was dying. “How is Brenda doing?” I asked, wondering if she was going to be okay. It seemed she got shot when Bella was taken. If it wasn’t for Bella, they wouldn’t have found Lori.
“She’s going to be fine,” he said, and I looked at Chris, who looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. I made a note to ask Mick about him when we were alone.
Now here I am, five days later, about to lose my mind. I just want her to open her eyes. They keep telling me not to worry, that this is her body’s way of dealing with the trauma it’s been through. It’s so hard, though. I just want her to wake her up.
The other two girls who were also taken are having a bit more trouble. I heard them detoxing—the crying, the screaming, the vomiting, the howling—while I sat by my girl’s side, praying to take the pain away from her.
I pick up the magazine that Bella and Lilah brought me. The minute I met her I knew I’d made a friend. No words were needed. We just hugged and cried mother-to-mother, victim-to-victim. I’m flipping through the pages of the magazine while Mick sits by the window, playing on his phone, when we hear a low groan. We both look up at each other then look at Lori, who is moving her head from side to side. I’m so stunned I can’t move, while Mick is already out of his chair and headed for the door, calling for Dorothy, the nurse on duty.
I get up and rush to her side, stroking her head and talking to her. “Lori, baby, open your eyes, honey.” I grab her hand and kiss it. “I’m here, honey. Momma is here, just open your eyes.” And slowly, ever so fucking slowly, her eyes start to flutter before they start to open. Once, twice, three times before they open in a squint. Dorothy brushes past Mick, who moves to the end of the bed so she can do her thing.
“Lori,” Dorothy says while wrapping the blood pressure cuff around her bicep. “My name is Dorothy. I am your nurse. Can you hear me?” she asks right before the doctor strolls in, looking over her chart.
“Hey there. Lori finally opened her eyes, I see.” He puts the chart down on the bed, moving to Lori’s side and shining the flashlight into her eyes. Lori doesn’t like it apparently because she weakly tries to slap his hand away.
“Mom,” she croaks out. “Mom.” Her voice is scratchy. “Water,” she says, and I rush to grab some of my water that I had sitting by her bed.
“I’m here, baby. Momma is here,” I say through tears and laughter that she is awake. I tilt the straw to her mouth, and she takes a big gulp and promptly starts to cough.
“Easy there, Lori, you haven’t had anything in your stomach in a while, so you don’t want to take in too much all at once, okay? Small sips, sweetie,” Dorothy says.
“Lori, do you know where you are?” the doctor asks while he writes something in the chart.
Lori looks at me with tears running down her face. “Momma.” She opens her hand out to me. I take it, holding it to my chest as I stroke her cheek and her head while she sobs. “I didn’t want to do it.” She wails out, her body starting to shake. “I said no. I said I wanted to go home.” She closes her eyes and sobs harder.
I cup her chin so that she is looking at me. “I know, baby, I know you wanted to come home. I know.”
She looks at me a
nd then her eyes move to Mick, who is standing to the side, his fists tightly clenched. The veins in his arms are bulging, the one in his forehead is ticking, and the anger and rage in his eyes is impossible to miss.
“You saved me,” she says to Mick. “You said you’d bring me home.”
Tears glisten in his eyes, but he quickly blinks them away, his voice rough when he replies, “Yeah, baby girl, I did. Promised your mom I would do it.”
She nods her head, her eyes staying on Mick.
“He found you, honey, like he said he would.” I lean down and place a kiss on her head.
“Oh, God, Mom, I didn’t want to be there! I didn’t want to do any of those horrible things! I didn’t want the drugs! Oh my God, the drugs.” She looks at me frantically. “No drugs, no more. NO MORE DRUGS!” she screams as she tries to rip out the IV from her arm.
The nurse springs into action and injects something into the IV. “It’s the withdrawals,” Dorothy assures me.
“Baby, they are going to make it all better,” I tell her while she shakes her head.
“No, no, no, no,” she says as she fights to keep her eyes open. “No more,” she slurs, and it’s the last thing she says before she falls back to sleep.
Mick makes it to my side just as I throw my hand over my mouth to let my own sob out, but nothing comes out of me, no sound, no tears, nothing. My eyes fixate on my daughter, who is now sleeping peacefully. I’m shaken by what she said, by her outburst and thinking about what she’s been through.
“She is going to be fine,” the doctor tells me, shutting her chart and giving it to Dorothy. “It’s normal to have outbursts like that in the first week, but because she was unconscious for so long, it won’t be as bad. She should be awake again sometime this evening. She is a fighter, Mrs. Sullivan, she’s a fighter. Things I’ve seen, the condition she was in when she arrived in here, she wouldn’t have made it another day had she not been found. It’s a good day,” he tells me with a nod before leaving the room with Dorothy right behind him.
“She’s a fucking fighter, babe. You know that, but now she doesn’t have to fight by herself. She has us. We fucking fight with her. Sleep,” he tells me, holding me close. “It’s going to be a long road. You need your rest.”
I know he’s right, so I just nod and watch her, my eyes never leaving her rising chest. I finally close my eyes but not for too long, because, the next thing I know, she’s up again.
Mick kisses my head and whispers, “She’s waking up, baby,” he whispers, and I sit up and watch her open her eyes.
“Mom,” she whispers.
I look around and see that it has fallen dark. It’s almost nighttime.
“I’m here, baby.” I get on the bed with her and wrap my arms around her. She curls up slightly against me, almost like she did when she was a little girl. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Hungry.” She looks up at me. “So hungry.”
I don’t even get a chance to reply before Mick gets up. “I’m on it,” he says as he walks out of the room.
“Momma, I missed you.” She throws her arm over my stomach, holding on tight. “They made me do stuff, Mom.” Her voice is soft and quivers. “Stuff I didn’t want to do.”
I don’t know what to say to her or what the right thing to say is, so I just let her talk. “I know, baby, I know.”
“I tried to fight,” she whispers. “I tried so hard, but it just made it worse.”
I feel her tears soak through my shirt as I run my fingers through her hair.
“They gave me drugs, Mom. I didn’t want them.” She looks up at me, her eyes red and wet. “But then I did want them, so I didn’t have to know what was going on.”
“You did what you needed to do to survive, baby.” I kiss her forehead. “We are going to get you help, okay?”
She continues to nod.
“I promise you that everything will be okay.”
She nods, looking at me with all the hope in the world. The door opens and Mick walks in carrying a tray full of food. “Okay, ladies, Dorothy said I couldn’t bring anything from outside in, so I had to settle for the cafeteria, which was slim pickings. She also said you could only have liquids, so this is what I got,” he says as he places the tray on the rolling bedside table. “Beef broth, vegetable broth, chicken broth, Orange Jell-o, Strawberry Jell-o, Lemon Jell-o, Lime Jell-o.” He looks at both of us with a smile on his face.
I haven’t looked closely at him in the last couple of days. His face is covered with stubble since he hasn’t left my side. His hair is sticking up in places. But his face is soft, his eyes shine, and his strength is there for both of us.
“Why are you still here?” Lori asks, and I look at Mick. We haven’t discussed what we are. It’s been less than a week.
“I’m here because I want to be here. I’m here because there is nowhere else I want to be.” He sits next to his tray on the bed. “And I’m here because of your mom.”
That is all he says. He doesn’t add anything else and neither do I.
“Okay,” Lori says as I help her to sit up on the bed. “I think I’ll take some Jell-o.”
“You got it, baby girl,” Mick says as he positions the rolling table with the hospital tray on it over Lori’s lap.
We sit in silence as Lori eats all the Jell-o. She stays awake for over an hour before finally falling back to sleep in my arms. With my daughter in my arms and Mick by my side, I finally let go and fall asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Mick
Six days ago, I brought her in. Six days ago, I fell in love with a girl I saw in a picture. Six days ago, I held her mother and fell in love with her. I thought I knew what love was. I was wrong. It’s not light and fluffy.
It gripped me by the fucking balls. It made my chest hurt when they cried. It made my heart beat faster when they smiled. It was fucking everything. I knew then and there nothing and no one would ever touch them again. Ever.
I finally left them alone to go home and shower. Fuck, did that ever feel good. My next stop would be to call Bella and ask her to stay with Lori so Marissa could go shower. I know she doesn’t want to leave her, but she needs to get out.
Right when I walk out of the house, I get a text from Marissa.
Can you get McDonald’s when you come back? Lori wants a Big Mac.
Sure thing. What else do you guys need?
Just you ;) and some Big Macs, and now Taco Bell. Pick up whatever is easier.
Send me what you want from there.
The next text is their whole order. Jesus, you would think that there were fifteen people ordering. Who needs ten caramel apple empanadas?
I just laugh it off and drive to my first stop. The phone rings as I’m waiting for the order. It’s Jackson.
“Yo,” I say to him.
“Hey, how is everything? How are Marissa and Lori?”
“Doing well, finally, all things considered. What’s up?”
He breathes deeply before he continues, “We have to come in today and interview her. I don’t want to. Trust me, I know you don’t want to think about it, but we need her statement. The other girls have already given theirs.”
I rub my hands over my face, knowing that it needs to be done, but I’m not happy about it. I don’t want it to happen, but I know if we are going to bring Chuck to justice, it needs to be done. She’s the one who was with them the longest.
“Okay. Give me an hour. I should be back at the hospital by then,” I respond, taking my first order from the Taco Bell cashier and driving toward McDonald’s. “What else you have?”
“I didn’t want to tell you, but Sandie has been in. Says she needs to talk to you. It’s urgent.”
“Fuck her. Urgent to her is a fucking broken fingernail,” I say, shaking my head.
“Pretty much what I told her. See you in an hour,” he says before disconnecting.
I make my way to Taco Bell and arrive into the room with six bags of food. “Who ordered wh
at?” I say to them when I put it all on the bed. Both girls dive into the bags of food. Marissa reaches for the fries, while Lori bites into one of the caramel apple empanadas and moans.
Watching them both eat, I take this time to let them know what is going to happen. “Jackson needs to ask you some stuff.” I look at both of them.
Marissa stops chewing, and Lori’s eyes open wide in shock and fear.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but we need to if we are going to put Chuck away.”
Lori’s eyes fill with tears as she looks at me.
“Will you be here, too?” she asks me.
“Only if you want me to be.” She nods her head yes, and I instantly reply, “Then I’ll be here.”
She then looks at her mom. “Are you going to stay, too?”
“Of course I’m going to stay.” Marissa tries to smile, but the tears welling in her eyes give her emotions away. “Now eat, before it gets cold.”
She looks over at me, and I nod my head at her. I want to kiss her so bad, give her my strength, and give her anything she fucking needs.
They eat in silence, both of them soon saying that they are full, but we all know it’s the nervousness in their stomachs that’s making them stop eating.
Twenty minutes later, Jackson walks in with Thomas and Chris following him. Jackson says hello to Marissa, and he introduces her to Thomas and Chris.
Lori gasps when she looks at Chris, and everyone’s eyes in the room swing between the two of them. “You were there at the mall,” she reminds him. “I saw you.”
He looks at her like he’s trying to piece the memory together.
“Yes, my friend came up to you and asked for your number. You told her you don’t date high school girls.”
“Oh my God,” he says, everything finally clicking into place for him. “I was there. Oh my God, I was there! I could have stopped it!” he says, his voice climbing.
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