“I get it,” she said in as firm a voice as she could manage. Then she wet her lips and rocked onto her tiptoes, pressing her mouth to his in a soft kiss.
He groaned as her tongue swept along his. His hands slipped down, closing over her hips, urging her closer. Giddy with elation, she moved to wrap her arms around him when suddenly he pulled away, thrusting her from him as if she were on fire.
“I don’t think you do.” His pupils were dilated, his nostrils flaring.
She flicked a glance downward and could make out the thick shape of his erection straining against his zipper. He was a man on the edge. Now she needed to push him over. “Make love to me, Jesse.” Desperate, she decided she would take whatever she could get. “Give me one night,” she whispered. Then maybe she could convince him that one night wasn’t enough.
His jaw tightened, and he ran an impatient hand through his hair. “And now I know you don’t.”
His wistful tone scared her almost as much as his words. He took a step back and turned away. Panic clawed at her, and she grabbed his wrist. “No. Don’t do this to me again. Please.”
He shook his head but said nothing, refusing to meet her gaze. “You’re drun—”
“I’m better now. I’m buzzed, but I know exactly what I’m doing. I know exactly what I want.”
His face was stony, and she knew that look. His mind was made up. She swallowed the lump wedged in her throat along with the last of her pride. “At least tell me why this time. I deserve that much.”
“No. You deserve more. Much more than me. Your parents always knew it. Hell, I always knew it too. You’re good and sweet and beauti—”
“So are you!”
“See, that’s where you got it wrong, babe. I was never good. Not then, not now. I stole money from my foster parents, I smoked weed, I went through girls like potato chips.”
“You had it tough,” she argued. “And look how you turned out.”
He slammed a hand against the wall behind her. “You look, Mike. You look at how I turned out, because sometimes I think you don’t even see me. You just see this shiny fucking knight, your buddy Jesse, who will beat up a kid for taking your lunch or pick you up when a date goes bad and let you crash at his place.”
He laid a hand on her neck, closing it gently over her throat. His voice was low and urgent.
“But what you don’t see is the Jesse who jerks off to the memory of you bent over in your boxer shorts. The one who closes his eyes and imagines fucking you from behind then pulling out at the last second so he can come on your juicy, round ass that’s still pink from the palm of his hand. The one who wants to tie your wrists and ankles to the bedpost so he can make you scream and cry out his name.”
He rubbed his thumb over her pounding pulse, and her breath caught in her throat. His eyes were wild, his expression pained. He stepped back, and his voice dropped to a whisper.
“And that? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Do you get it now, babe? The big bad wolf is sleeping one door away. Don’t come knocking again, or you’ll wake him up for real next time.”
She stood stock-still and speechless, images flipping through her mind like the reel of a silent movie.
What had she done?
She might lay blame on the drinks, but deep down she knew she’d been egging him on. Granted, the tequila had given her the courage to do it, but she’d been daring him to notice her. It had worked, only to leave her facing consequences she hadn’t thought through.
“I’m going to stay at Patrick’s tonight. I need some space and so do you. When I come back, we’ll try to figure out how to get things back to the way they were. I can’t—” He broke off and swiped a hand over his face. “I don’t want to lose you, Mike. I can manage. Hell, I’ve managed this long, but we need to put up some boundaries while you’re living here. I can only take so much.”
She pressed a hand to her trembling mouth, watching through a prism of unshed tears as he walked out the door.
Chapter Five
“I can’t believe you’re finally going to do it. I’ve been waiting years for you to admit that you’re in love with him. Years! Can I just tell you how totally awesome I think this is?”
“No, you can’t. You’re making me more nervous.” Micah stared at the pile of naughtiness on her bed and tried not to throw up. “And how did you know how I felt, anyway? I thought I was being pretty stealthy,” she grumbled.
Renee cracked out a laugh. “Your face is an open book, Mike. Plus, I’m your best friend. I know you. I let you get away with it because I figured there was a reason you wanted to keep it to yourself. And, until now, I wasn’t sure how he felt about you. I wasn’t about to press you into going for it and then worry about you getting hurt.”
“So what changed?”
“When we were out last night, I had an epiphany. Jesse walked into the bar, but you hadn’t seen him yet. And he looked at you like you were the sun. Not like he wanted you, not like he was happy to see you, but like he’d just woken up…just come alive right in front of my eyes. The expression lasted for an instant, but I saw it clear as day. That’s why I made my move on that guy and left.” She shot a guilty glance at Micah. “I hoped maybe a night out together might push things along a little.”
“And when were you going to tell me about this epiphany?”
“I didn’t have to. You called me this morning with your devious little plan. I figured the two of you would work it out yourselves.”
“God, I hope you’re right.” Micah pressed a hand to her churning stomach. “Now use that fabulously intuitive brain of yours to help me figure out what the hell to wear.” She picked up what appeared to be some sort of elaborate slingshot and stretched it like taffy. “I don’t even know what half this stuff is.”
Renee let out a snort. “Garters, dummy. God, this is sad. I mean, I’m happy, don’t get me wrong. But how I’ve allowed you to get this far in life without introducing you to the tools of seduction, I don’t know. What kind of friend does that make me?”
The mournful expression on Renee’s face was priceless, and Micah actually managed a chuckle, despite her building terror. “It’s not your job to teach me that stuff. And anyway, we both know it wasn’t for lack of trying. Remember that time in college when you tried to get me to buy a bikini?”
Renee groaned. “Disastrous. Where did you even get that awful thing? And what nineteen-year-old is drawn to the one bikini in the shop with a skirt attached?”
“It wasn’t that bad!”
Renee’s eyes bulged comically. “It had sleeves, Mike.”
“That was the cover-up, and it was a statement piece.”
“Yeah. And the statement was ‘I’m frigid.’”
“I’m not frigid. I’m fun! I’ll have you know, I’ve been skinny-dipping before.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that story like a million times. Every time you want to convince me that you’re actually sort of wild and crazy, you bust that out as proof. It’s getting tired now.”
Micah drew back the elastic and snapped the garter into Renee’s thigh with a
crack.
“Ouch!”
All hell broke loose as bras became weapons of war. By the time they fell onto the bed, breathless, they both had their fair share of welts. Some of the tension that had been Micah’s constant companion for the past twenty-four hours faded.
After the mess with Jesse, she’d quickly realized she needed to make a decision. There were only two ways to go. She could pretend the conversation the night before had never happened and hope they found their way back to being best friends again. Or she could try one last time to show him how she felt. No more dancing around it or hiding behind drinks. She would let him know that he was her knight, no shining armor required. That she wanted him in spite of, and maybe partly because of, what he’d been through and the man it had made him.
Since their talk, she’d dug deep and come to the conclusion that he was wrong about a few
things. Maybe she didn’t see the part of him he hid from her, but she knew him, knew the important things. He would do almost anything for her. He loved his dog and would take a bullet for his sweet Martha if he had to. On the weekends he had a couple kids from the Boys & Girls Clubs come to his shop so he could teach them how to work on motorcycles.
So what if he fantasized about things she’d never considered? She was just glad he was thinking of her like that at all. It was time to make both of their fantasies a reality.
So tonight she’d lay it all on the line to see if Jesse felt even half of what she did. The most terrifying part was that she had to do it knowing there could be no going back, no matter his response. It was a huge risk, and the thought of life without him was scaring the shit out of her.
“You really think I’m doing the right thing.”
Renee’s smiling face grew serious. “I don’t think it, Mike. I know it.”
Micah tried not to nurture the tiny kernel of hope that had started to build.
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she swiped them away with an impatient hand. “Stop it! You’re going to get all puffy, and that’s totally not sexy. Geez, I feel like Thumper to your Bambi. You don’t know how to do anything, do you?” Renee shook her head in exasperation, but under the bluster she was clearly ecstatic at the chance to help Micah vamp it up. “First thing is to pick something that plays up your assets. In your case, that’s the curves.”
Four hours and a trip to the mall later, Micah had finally settled on an outfit. After going back and forth between subtle baby-doll nighties with stilettos and not-so-subtle black bustiers with thigh-high leather boots, she’d settled on something that was out of her comfort zone but still felt like her.
By the time Renee left, the house was clean, music played in the background and champagne—which Micah didn’t plan on touching—chilled in the fridge. Jesse wasn’t due home for another hour, so she took a leisurely bubble bath. She buffed her skin with a brown-sugar-and-vanilla scrub until it was pink and gleaming. She peeked down at her toes poking through the bubbles. They were a bright, cherry red, and her fingernails were painted to match. Whenever she looked at them it gave her a much-needed confidence boost.
This was it. If he truly wanted her like he said he did, he couldn’t turn her away this time.
Could he?
She pushed back the terrifying thought. She had enough to worry about. Like if she had the goods to satisfy Jesse. She’d played back his words a thousand times.
The one who wants to tie your wrists and ankles to the bedpost so he can make you scream and cry out his name.
Her face burned, and she immersed herself, head and all, under the rapidly cooling water. He was right, she didn’t know that Jesse. But what he hadn’t banked on was that she wanted to.
As scared as she was to fail or look stupid or be vulnerable, she wanted to try everything he’d said.
And more.
Chapter Six
Jesse closed the door behind him as quietly as he could manage, but the sound seemed to echo through the silent little house. In a perfect world, Mike would be asleep already and he could put off facing her for just one more day.
Martha loped over and snuffled at his boots. He bent and gave her head a pat.
“Hey, sweet girl,” he whispered.
“Hey yourself,” a voice called back.
He started at the sound and moved from the hallway into the dimly lit living room.
“Mike?” His pulse thrummed. He’d wanted her to be asleep. So why did he feel so edgy and excited that he was going to get to see her, even for a minute?
“Yup.”
“Did you fall asleep on the couch again?”
“Not exactly.”
Her voice wasn’t coming from the living room. It was coming from the bedroom.
His bedroom.
“Come here,” she said.
All his senses fired at once. His ears began to buzz, the hair on his arms rose, his muscles tightened. She was probably just…just what? There was no reason he could think of that she would be in his bedroom, especially after last night.
Except one.
He swallowed hard as he walked what felt like the Green Mile. He knew there would be no going back, but he had no choice. Nothing could have kept him from seeing what lay on the other side of the door that loomed in front of him, larger than life. He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath before pushing it open and looking in.
Then he stopped breathing altogether.
There she was. Micah Kincaid, bathed in candlelight, sitting on his bed with her feet encased in black stilettos dangling off the edge. She was dressed in a white men’s dress shirt that was sheer enough to see her nipples through. A black tie was slung casually around her neck and trailed down between her breasts, obscuring his view of her spectacular cleavage. That was okay, because he was distracted by her curvy legs which were on full display from her ankles to the very tops of her thighs.
His cock thickened and pulsed, instantly springing to life at the vision in front of him.
“Jesus, Mike.”
She held his gaze as she slid her feet to the floor, then stood. The soft light silhouetted her frame, showcasing her almost naked form beneath the shirt.
“I’m stone-cold sober, Jesse. I’m an adult now. I’m wide awake and I’m not feverish or ill. I just want you. I want this. I always have. So can we?”
He opened his mouth, willing something coherent to come out. Some nugget of wisdom, some reason why this was wrong and stupid. Why it would ruin everything, if it wasn’t already ruined. Instead, what came out was a choked whisper. “You’re so fucking beautiful, babe.”
She gave him a shaky smile and took a hesitant step toward him. Her scent washed over him and he groaned.
“Thanks. I wanted to wear something really sexy, and Renee tried to help, but then—”
He cut off her nervous rambling. “I don’t care how it happened. This…” He flicked a gaze over her from head to toe. “This is perfect. A dream come true. I’ve never seen anything so sexy.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she glanced away. He cupped her chin, tilting her head back so he could look into her eyes. “Are you sure about this? I told you last night, I—”
She didn’t even blink. “So sure.” His heart thudded. “Come closer.”
She wet her lips and took a step forward. Their bodies brushed, and she gasped. The sound was better than any music he’d ever heard, and his only coherent thought was that he wanted to hear it again and again.
She put her hands up in surrender, before laying them on his chest. Stretching onto her tiptoes, she tipped her head back and pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. It took all his strength not to pounce on her and take what he’d wanted for so long. Could she feel him quivering?
“I’ve thought about this every single day. Since that night we went skinny- dipping and you turned me down.” Her voice was low, but the words thundered in his ears.
Damn, that hurt. He’d almost gotten carried away. She must have sensed he needed the reminder. She wanted the same thing she’d wanted eight years ago.
One night.
Unadulterated joy was eclipsed by steely resolve and raw lust.
One night.
He could do that. He wouldn’t ask why. It would only make her feel bad to have to explain it. Tonight was theirs, and sure as shit he was going to make it count. They would deal with the fallout tomorrow.
He slipped a hand into her hair and jerked her head back, exposing her throat.
She stared at him with wide eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Whatever I want.” He gave a sharp tug and bent low to sink his teeth into her neck.
She stiffened, but relaxed a second later. “Don’t try to scare me away. It won’t work. I know you’d never hurt me.” Her words vibrated against his lips, and he clamped down harder until she groaned.
“You’re wrong, babe,” he murmured into her soft skin
. “Not only will I hurt you, after a while you’ll beg me to do it.” He pulled away and looked into her face. “Last chance.” Even as he said it, he wondered whom he was trying to save, her or himself. There was no way he would make it to tomorrow in one piece. The question was, would he ever be able to put himself back together again?
Her jaw stiffened as she reached between them and took his cock in her hand. “Let’s do this.”
His knees nearly buckled at the touch, a clear reminder of the kind of power she had over him. He gripped her wrist and pulled her away. “We’ll do this, babe, but we’ll be doing it my way.” When she didn’t balk, he softly squeezed her arm to emphasize his point. “You will touch me when I tell you. Nod if you understand.”
She opened her mouth, but, at his stern look, snapped it shut again.
“Get on your knees.” His heart pounded as he waited to see what she would do. He was torn. If she walked away now, it would be the worst night of his life. But maybe in the long run it would save him the pain of knowing what it was like between them when he could never have her again.
Her brow wrinkled, and terror mixed with elation swept through him. She wasn’t going to do it.
“Shouldn’t you take your pants off first?” she asked.
“Get. On. Your. Knees.”
A spark leapt in her eyes, and she didn’t take her gaze off him as she slowly sank to her knees. His cock bucked behind his zipper, and he tore at the button-fly of his jeans. He shoved his pants and boxers down in one move, freeing his erection.
He began fisting himself, and she stared, rapt, as he stroked up and down. She leaned forward, lips parted, and it took every ounce of his willpower not to allow her to suck him in. Instead he backed away.
“You want it?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
Triumph surged through him. “Open wider.”
She complied.
He held the back of her head as she dipped her face closer to him, until the heat of her breath washed over his aching cock. She flicked out her tongue and nudged his sensitive tip, scooping up a drop of precome that had leaked out. The soft caress shook him, and he had to close his eyes to block out the sight.
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