An edge came into her voice, and he filed that away for later consideration. Clearly she still had unresolved feelings about her mother as well. He could only imagine what it had been like growing up with the knowledge that her mother hadn’t wanted to be part of her life. It was enough to shake anyone’s self-esteem, and stupid Nick Melita had only compounded the problem.
Frankie worried the cloth napkin between her fingers as she continued. “I was confused, in this holding pattern, wanting to move forward but too afraid to do it. So one day I stumbled across my dad’s…video collection. It felt like fate or something. The universe answering my plea. Anyway, my dad went out that night, and I popped a tape into the VCR,” she rushed through that last part, pink- cheeked, and he bit back a grin before holding up a hand.
“To interject for a quick second, so far none of this sounds the least bit kinky or skanky. In fact, it all sounds pretty normal to me.”
She gave him an appreciative half-smile and took a steadying breath before pressing forward. “I watched the first one. It was pretty awful. Like from the seventies. Too much hair. Just hair, exploding from everywhere.”
He laughed out loud, and some of the anxiousness seemed to disappear from her face. “I was pretty determined, though, so I grabbed another. After a few real clunkers, I found a movie I liked. The lady was pretty, like a real person. And the guy was really sweet with her. So I watched the whole thing.”
She glanced at him, gauging his reaction. He must have looked as enthralled as he felt, because her cheeks got rosy. He barely refrained from kissing her, instead motioning for her to continue.
“I was pretty much obsessed. It was all I could think about. So the next time me and Nicky were alone, I told him I wanted to do it. He was all about the idea. We fooled around for a while, and we finally got down to the nitty-gritty.” She shook her head and blew out a sigh. “Let’s say that it wasn’t exactly what I’d been preparing for, and thirty seconds later I was left confused and feeling like a failure.”
In spite of his disdain for Nicky, Mac winced on the other man’s behalf. He’d been there before. Tough on a guy his first time.
“I wasn’t sure what to do at that point, because I didn’t feel…done. Sooo, I…” she looked around, then bent close to whisper, “…stuck my finger in his butt.”
For a long moment the only noise in the room was the clatter of silverware and the faraway chatter of other diners. Then her words registered, and Mac fell apart, erupting into howls of laughter. The harder he tried to stop, the more he laughed. He clutched his aching ribs as tears streamed down his face. People from other tables began to stare. Frankie gazed at him, bemused.
“He m— H-he must ha—” Mac tried to spit it out, to explain why that was probably the most hilarious thing he’d ever heard, but every syllable sent him into another fit.
“I’m not laughing at you,” he said when he could finally speak. “It’s the whole thing. It’s so funny. His eyes must have bugged right out of his head.” The image got him rolling again, but this time Frankie had caught on to the absurdity of the story as the corners of her mouth lifted.
“Remember that porno I was telling you about?” she continued, clearly warming to the tale. “Well, the guy in that had already…yanno…” she waggled her brows, “…once, and that was how the girl got him interested again. It worked like a charm for her, so I figured what the hey?” She shrugged. “What did I know?”
Mac wiped the tears from his eyes. “Oh my God, that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Just jammed it in there, huh? No warning? I can picture it. Well, not it, but you know, Nick’s face. You can believe that is not what he told us on the basketball court the next day.”
“Ugh, so you did hear something then?” She groaned and covered her face. “The story got so twisted I don’t even know what he actually said. By the time it got back to me, I was the sluttiest girl in school and had begged him for everything from a threesome to a golden shower.”
He pulled her hands away from her face. “Don’t shrink away from me, Frankie. He didn’t say any of those things, not to me at least. All he said was that you were into some kinky stuff, and he wasn’t into it.”
She seemed relieved. “It was the girls in our class that took it to the next level. He was a prize catch, and they weren’t happy he was off the market. They couldn’t wait to bring me down. I think Nick felt bad in the end.” She let out a snort of laughter. “Poor choice of words, but you get the drift. Actually, he called me a few years ago and asked me out on a date.”
That got Mac laughing again, and this time Frankie joined in. “So what did you tell him?”
“I wasn’t mean or anything. I said no thanks. He isn’t a bad guy. We were kids. It’s not his fault some people don’t want to let it go.”
His jaw tightened, and he shook his head. “That doesn’t give him a pass. He should’ve spoken up. What he did was spineless. He was man enough to have sex with you, and a real man doesn’t kiss and tell. If he couldn’t manage that, he could’ve at least set the record straight after the fact.”
“Can you picture that?”
He thought about it and inclined his head. “All right, you got me there. But he didn’t have to tell the whole story. He could’ve stood by you and said the other stuff wasn’t true. You ended up being branded a slut when all you were was a quirky, curious teenager.”
Mac’s words wrapped around her like a warm hug, and the weight that had been sitting on her chest for all those years got a little lighter. His genuine delight had made her look at the situation through new eyes. The eyes of an adult. It was a funny story, and the heartfelt laughter they’d shared over it had all but eradicated the snide, mean-spirited snickers she’d put up with afterward.
“In hindsight, I know I added fuel to the fire,” she admitted.
“Yeah?”
“I started cutting school, acting out, dressing provocatively. I got caught spiking the punch at the prom. I think part of me felt like if I was going to have to wear the brand, I might as well get some mileage out of it. Then I grew up, went away to college, thinking people would forget by the time I came back. Imagine my surprise when some of them hadn’t. I had guys calling me up to ask for dates when all they wanted to do was see exactly how kinky I was. I had a woman stop by the garage telling me to stay away from her man. He was a customer. Balding fat guy with a handlebar mustache. She assumed he only brought his car in to try to get to me.” She shrugged. “Maybe she was right, but how was that my fault? Anyway, I went back to the old standby and put up the front.”
“You don’t have to put up a front with me. I think you’re amazing,” Mac said softly. “I think the rest of the world would agree if you give them the chance. And the one’s that don’t?”
“Fuck ’em,” she finished with a sad smile.
Maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to let it go. The town wasn’t nearly as small as it had been, and more than three-quarters of her high school class had moved away a long time ago. For the first time she wondered if the whole thing had been bigger in her own mind than it actually was. Granted, there were a few people she knew would never let it go. And the garage had been struggling, but that was probably as much about her dad passing and the economy than anything else.
“What are you thinking about?” Mac asked. “Letting go. Moving on.”
“I like the sound of that. Does that mean this can be a date now?”
“I don’t know what this is. We still don’t live in the same world, me and you. But you had to have known it meant more to me than a meal between friends when you spotted the thirty rejected outfits strewn all over my bed.”
The relief in his eyes at that admission sent a thrill through her. “Along those same lines, I have a confession to make,” he said.
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“It only took me five minutes to pick out this outfit.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better, ho
w?”
“You didn’t let me finish.” He leaned into her, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead. “Ask me how long I stood in the garage deciding which car to pick you up in?”
Her pulse skittered at the gentle caress. “How long?” she croaked.
“About an hour. I wanted to impress you so badly,” he admitted with a self- deprecating smile.
“It worked.”
His gaze grew even more intense. “Well, in that case, should you find yourself needing a volunteer to practice some new porn moves on, I’m tossing my hat in the ring.”
She chuckled, giving him a playful punch to the shoulder, but his eyes stayed locked on hers.
“I’m only half-kidding. We’re both adults, so I’m going to lay it out for you straight here. I want you. Not only that, I like you. A lot. I’ve felt that way for a very long time. This is our first date, and I hope it’s the first of many. I don’t want to pressure you, but I want to make sure you know that I’m dead serious about this and you.”
Elation coursed through her, but it was tempered by a very familiar fear. She couldn’t remember enjoying someone’s company more than Mac’s. But he was a Sanders. And she was Skanky Frankie, the grease monkey. Even if they wanted it to work, his family would never accept her. On the off chance that they did end up really falling for one another, Mac would be forced into the terrible position of having to choose between her and his family. Why put either one of them through that? Hoping and wishing for something that could only end in heartache?
She couldn’t tell him that, though. He’d argue, tell her she was wrong or he didn’t care. And because she was already half crazy about him, she’d allow herself to be convinced. But down the line, it would matter, and everything would turn to shit.
She swallowed hard and cleared her throat before responding.
“I hear you loud and clear. I’m not sure what to say, exactly. Mac, I like you. More than I’ve liked anyone in…well, forever. But if I want to make the garage a go without my dad, that has to be where my focus is. I can’t let myself get distracted.”
Not a lie, she rationalized. Just not the whole truth.
The light in his eyes dimmed a little and the ensuing stab of regret hurt more than it should have after only one not-date. Definitely best to get out now before it was too late.
By the time they reached her driveway an hour later, the effervescent tingle that had buoyed her most of the night faded as reality set in. The joking around, the companionship, the sexual tension bubbling right beneath the surface of it all…it was over. Done. Back to her boring life. Maybe she needed to get a dog, because the thought of going into her silent, empty house made her stomach ache.
“This is your stop,” Mac said, then let himself out of the car.
A moment later he swung her door open and held out a hand. She took it, ignoring the blast of awareness that snaked up her arm at the firm heat of his grasp.
“You don’t have to—”
“I’m walking you to the door.”
It wasn’t a question, and the quiet, authoritative tone sent a second sizzle through her, this one ending in a low pressure between her thighs.
As he led her to the porch the silence between them felt heavy, and she tried to lighten it.
“I really had a nice time. Thanks so much for inviting me. The crème brulee was delicious. I wish I could eat like that every day. Although I wouldn’t be able to fit under the cars soon, and—”
Mac clamped his hands over her hips and dragged her close, until they were touching chest to breast. “You’re babbling.” His husky voice held a trace of a smile, and she blushed.
“I know. Sorry.”
“Do you know why you’re babbling?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You’re nervous. You know what else?”
She shook her head mutely.
“I like that I make you nervous. But let’s see if I can distract you a little.” He bent low and took her mouth in a searing kiss that sent a bolt of heat straight to her pussy. There was no buildup. Just a mesh of lips and teeth and tongues. After nearly two years of anticipation, that was exactly how she wanted it.
She craned her neck, pressing closer, gasping when he crushed the sensitive tips of her breasts to his unyielding chest. Bouncing on her tiptoes, she slid her arms around his neck, holding on for all she was worth. He murmured his approval, tightening his grip, angling his hips to grind against hers. The thick length of him nudged her stomach, and she groaned, straining closer still.
Mac broke away with a curse, nipping her bottom lip once before retreating. The blood pounded in her ears as she tried to get her bearings. Apparently, he was no better off because he squeezed his eyes closed, sucking in a ragged breath.
“Damn,” he muttered. He ran a possessive hand over her bottom, leaving a trail of heat in its wake, before stepping back. “That was—” His throat worked as he swallowed hard, pinning her with his intense gaze. He shook his head bemusedly. “Sweet dreams, Frankie,” he whispered.
A second later he jogged lightly down the steps and got into his car.
She stared after him, unable to speak, shaking with want. What the hell was that? One kiss and she was ready to throw herself at his feet. But it was more than that. He’d seen her, warts and all, and he still wanted her. Even better? He still liked her.
His taillights were long gone before she had the strength to push away from the door and stand on her own two feet.
Chapter 5
Two hours later Frankie lay sprawled on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She was no closer to sleep than she’d been when she first slid between the sheets. Every time she tried to relax, her thoughts would flip straight back to Mac’s kiss and the adrenaline would start pumping again, making the prospect of relaxation laughable.
She reached out blindly toward the nightstand and found her cellphone. As she held it in her hand, she reminisced about the old days. Back when a girl could call a guy, listen to the sound of his voice for a few seconds then hang up fast and burst into giggles. No caller ID, no star sixty-nine. Just good, old- fashioned, crush-crank calls. She sighed and stared at the lit screen of the phone, willing it to vibrate.
She thought back to the rest of the night and marveled again at Mac. One minute he was seducing her with his panty-drenching grin, the next he was her champion, slaying the dragons from her past, making her feel normal and special all at the same time.
She was so lost in contemplation, when the cellphone buzzed in her hand, she tossed it like it was a rattlesnake.
Mac.
She scrabbled through the blankets in a panic, finally locating it near her feet.
Scooping it up in trembling fingers, she cleared her throat. “Hello?”
“Hey.”
She sat back against the pillows and grinned like a fool, not bothering to hide her pleasure at the sound of his voice.
“Hey, there.”
“Did I wake you?”
“No. Not at all. I was…watching some TV,” she said, grabbing the remote off the table and flicking on the television. She hating lying, but the alternative was to have said, Lying in bed, fantasizing about you, and she wasn’t that brave.
“I wanted to call and tell you what a great time I had tonight.”
She could hear the smile in his warm baritone, and it sent a thrill through her. “Me too.”
“I got that impression, but I’m glad to have it confirmed. Which leads me to the real reason for my call.” He paused, an edge of exasperation working into his tone. “Tell me one more time why we can’t keep doing that?”
She let out a long sigh. “When you say it like that, it sounds so simple,” she admitted. “But just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Eating ice cream is fun too. If I did that every day, I’d be fat in three months and I wouldn’t feel healthy.”
“So you think I’m bad for you?”
She hated the hurt in his voic
e. “No. Not at all. I meant that our choices have consequences. Sometimes good and bad. Being with you made me feel really good tonight. But if we keep doing it, it’s going to feel bad when we have to stop. I don’t want to be the topic of conversation in this town again. And say what you will, but Sanderss aren’t meant to be with mechanics, Mac. Especially ones like me. This will definitely cause tension between you and your parents, and I don’t want that.”
“I thought we got somewhere with this conversation at dinner.”
“We did. And in my head, I know you’re right, but I’ve lived for the past ten years thinking one way. I’m going to work on it, but it’s not going to happen overnight.”
“Okay. I get that. For what it’s worth, I did have a great time, and if you ever do get past that stuff, give me a call. I won’t bother you again, aside from car- related business.”
“Mac, I—”
“I’m not trying to be a jerk or make you feel bad, but I certainly don’t want to push you into doing something that doesn’t make you happy. It’s a shame, though. We could actually have something here. Night, Frankie.”
The phone went dead, and her heart sank.
That was it.
They’d been on one stupid date. So why did she feel so bereft? She wasn’t ready to make a public appearance or to commit, but did that mean they couldn’t spend some time together in secret to see how compatible they were? Tonight could’ve been a fluke. No point in getting everyone worked up over what might amount to nothing.
She flipped on the bedside lamp and snatched up the phone to punch in Mac’s number before she could change her mind.
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