Jamie opens the passenger door of his vehicle but pulls me into his arms before I get inside. “I just need to feel you for a minute so I can prove to myself that you’ll really here and safe in my arms.”
We stand like that for one, two, three minutes before he loosens his grip.
“You were shot, Doc. I saw them fire a bullet into you and then watched you collapse on the ground in front of me. I thought you were dying.”
“Minor wound. Don’t give it another minute of thought. It’s almost healed.” He kisses the top of my head. “Come on. Let’s get you home, baby.”
I’m dying to tell Jamie that Kieran didn’t touch me but that conversation requires him finding out that I was spared because his sister took the brunt of Kieran’s sexual assault. I don’t think it’s wise for him to hear that while he’s driving.
I shut my eyes when we pull away from Thane’s. Being back with Jamie gives me such a sense of peace and safety that we’re parked in front of the infirmary when I open my eyes again.
This is where we live but Jamie’s arms are home.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“It’s fine, baby. You need the rest.”
I sit in the passenger seat until Jamie comes around and opens my door. I step out and almost squeal when he scoops me from the ground. He carries me up the drive and briefly puts me down to unlock the front door before attempting to lift me again.
“I’m not injured. I can walk.” He needs to see that I’m okay. That I’m not a fragile doll princess who breaks.
“I want to take care of you, Mac.”
“I know. And I’ll let you when we’re in the bedroom but throwing your back out carrying me up the stairs does neither of us any good.”
“You’re not heavy.”
“Thank you, but it’s unnecessary. Let me do it.”
I’m tired but I’ve been locked in a room for three days. I need to exercise my ability to choose, because there is something horrifying about having that taken away.
I walk into our room and the bed calls out to me. Come lie on me and fall into a coma. I would except I really want to bathe. Need it. I feel so dirty despite having not been touched by a single member of The Order. “I want to shower.”
“Of course.”
Jamie comes into the bathroom and watches me brush my teeth while the water warms. Old house. Old plumbing.
“I’ve never experienced a hell like the one I’ve gone through the last three days without you.”
We’re standing beneath the bathroom lights and this is the first good look I’ve gotten at Jamie. He’s pale with dark circles beneath his eyes. I think his cheeks even look a bit sunken. “Did you slept and eat at all while I was gone?”
“Couldn’t.”
“Then you must be as exhausted as me.”
“I got a glimpse into what my life looks like without you in it. I hated every second.”
“I hated being away from you.”
Our reflections have a stare down in the mirror and I recognize the look in his eyes. It’s the one that says he wants me. But he doesn’t take a single step in my direction. “Have a hot shower and we’ll talk when you’re finished—if you feel like it. If not, it can wait until tomorrow.”
Jamie wants to have a conversation about my abduction. No—make that a conversation about what happened to me during my abduction. I’m more interested in the conversation we were supposed to have three nights ago.
I’ve given us a lot of thought and I have things I want to tell you. I need to know what he was going to say to me.
The hot water feels magnificent but I don’t tarry because I’m eager to talk with Jamie. I don’t know where my sudden burst of energy came from, but I’m ready to do this.
I come out of the bathroom wearing only a towel—same as always. I never wear pajamas to bed with Jamie. To do so tonight would feel weird and call attention to something that didn’t happen.
Jamie’s lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He looks a million miles away.
“I’m finished in the shower.”
He rises to sit and swings his legs around so his feet are on the floor. He holds out his hands. “Come here, baby.”
I stand between his legs and he rests his forehead against my towel-covered breasts. “Do you want me to examine you tonight or wait until the morning?”
He believes they raped me. “I don’t need to be examined. No one touched me.”
He reaches up and caresses my cheek. “The bruise on your face says otherwise.”
Does he think I’m lying? “I got smacked right after we were abducted but that was it. No one hit me after that. No one touched me. No one . . . raped me.” The last two words are said on a small breath, as I can’t say the same for his sister, and that makes my heart ache.
I need to talk to her. I need to know she’s okay.
“We met with Kieran and the council three nights ago. He was very clear about the fact that he was going to . . . fuck both of you.” Jamie’s voice is different. Almost growly.
“He had every intention of doing that. He said he was going to tie us to his bed and do whatever he wanted with us but . . . Westlyn negotiated a deal with him.”
“What kind of negotiation?”
This is the part I don’t want to tell him. “He told us he was going to beat and rape both of us. She agreed to give herself to him without a fight so I’d be spared.”
“Fuck.” He grips my hips and presses the top of his head against my stomach. “Fuck. No.”
“I told her not to but she made the deal with him anyway.”
I know Wes. In her mind, she had no one waiting for her and I had Jamie. She wanted me untainted for her brother. How could someone be so selfless?
“What happened to Westlyn was out of her control. Will the brothers see it that way or is she ruined with them forever?”
“The women who’ve been taken and raped by The Order in the past have never married. I can’t say if that was their individual decision or not.”
I’m guessing The Fellowship men made that choice for them. Condemning assholes.
Westlyn has said for as long as I’ve known her that she would never marry a Fellowship man. Even if she truly means it, I hate for her choice to be taken away from her.
“I don’t care if those fuckers presented The Fellowship with an offer for a treaty to end this feud or not. I am killing Kieran Hendry. A bullet between his eyes. That’s what he’s getting.”
“What treaty?” Westlyn said that Kieran left her in his quarters almost right after they abducted us. Was that when the offer was discussed?
“Lennox Hendry proposed we become allies instead of enemies and seal the deal with a double treaty.”
“A double treaty. I don’t know what that means.”
“The eldest Hendry proposed Kieran take you, Westlyn, or Evanna as his wife, and Mitch or I take his daughter as a wife.”
None of those scenarios can happen. “Would The Fellowship really align with people like them?”
“Lennox says he’s going to change the people of The Order. I think Thane is going to go along with it. He wants to end this feud as peacefully as possible.”
“Oh, God. I can’t marry that monster. And neither can Westlyn or Evanna.”
Jamie grabs my hands and kisses the tops. “I won’t let Kieran have you. And he won’t have my sisters either.”
He may not get a say if Thane is the one doing the negotiating.
I’m not Fellowship. He doesn’t know me well. I’m sure he would have no qualms about trading me for peace. “I’m up for claiming. If Kieran decides to take me then what choice do I have?”
Jamie releases my hands and cradles my face so we’re eye to eye. “He can’t take you if you’re already claimed and married to someone else. That above all else must be honored from one brotherhood to the next.”
I believe Jamie was going to tell me three days ago that he wanted to claim me but I don’t hav
e a clue where his head is now after my abduction. Being apart could have forced him to realize that we belong together. Or it might have had the opposite effect. It’s possible he thinks I’m too much of a risk. Who would want a wife they had to constantly guard?
“I need you to be clearer.”
“I’m claiming you, Mac. You’re mine. Neither Kieran nor one of my brothers will ever have you.”
Finally. The words I’ve been dying to hear.
I’m powerless to stop the tears forming in my eyes. “There’s nothing I want more.”
“Don’t cry, baby.”
“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy.”
“I’ve told you that you’re mine before but tonight saying it takes on a different meaning. More. You’re mine to provide for. To protect. To cherish. To love.”
I smile through my tears. “Is this really happening?”
“The Order is returning in three days to discuss the treaty. I’m certain Thane is going to agree. When he does, Kieran will choose his wife at that time.”
“That means we have to be married in the next seventy-two hours.”
“Which isn’t possible—at least not legally. There has to be a twenty-eight-day waiting period after notifying the district registrar.”
Shit. We could be in some big trouble. “We don’t have twenty-eight days. What are we going to do?”
“You need to be pregnant.” Oh. My. God. He is serious.
“I know it’s a drastic move but the claiming can’t be reversed if you’re pregnant with my child.”
Pregnant with my child. Shit.
“I haven’t had a birth control pill in three days. I guess it’s possible I’ll ovulate two weeks after the first day of my last period.”
“Where are you in your cycle?”
“Day thirteen.”
“You’ll ovulate tomorrow. Well, today, since it’s almost midnight.”
“Hormonal birth control is a crapshoot. I’ve been on the pill for years so who knows how my body will react to the sudden interruption?”
“I want to try.”
“Even if the moon and stars align perfectly and I get pregnant, we won’t know if we conceived until another two weeks. Kieran is coming in three days.” Time is not on our side.
“We take a gamble and lie. Kieran will want his own heir. There’s no way he’ll take a wife who’s already pregnant with another man’s baby.”
“What if we lie and then I’m not pregnant?” I have no doubt there’ll be hell to pay. Even I know Thane won’t take well to being duped.
“I’ll heal from endurance and then go back and take double penance for betraying my leader. Keeping Kieran from taking you as his wife will be worth whatever I have to endure.”
“That still leaves Westlyn and Evanna as choices.” I can’t stand the thought of either being married off to that evil man.
“I have three days to come up with a plan to safeguard them from him. I’ll think of something.”
“Claiming. Marrying. Even the baby . . . I like your plan for us.”
“I thought you might.”
I deserted my life in the U.S. nine months ago so I could be near my sister and the babies. I thought I was leaving everything behind. My possessions. My career. My friends. My past. My present. My future.
I was wrong.
Everything I ever wanted and needed is right here in Scotland. In Jamie Breckenridge. He is the strong, loving man my father wanted for me. My husband. Father of my children.
I want this so much it hurts.
Jamie opens my towel and lets it fall to the floor before gripping my hips and pulling me close. “Come on, Mac. Let’s make a baby.”
Let’s make a baby. I hear those words come out of Jamie’s mouth and I immediately feel all kinds of tingles between my thighs—like my womb is throwing a celebration. “Yes.”
Ellison puts her arms around my shoulders. Her mouth drags along my jawline, leaving kisses in its path until warm breath tickles my ear.
Fuck. Am I seriously about to try and get a woman pregnant? On purpose? While I’m both sober and thinking straight?
This is madness in its most extreme form. Ellison and I have known one another almost a year, but we’ve only been together a short while. A baby shouldn’t be on our radar.
But it is.
We started out as acquaintances. She was Bleu’s sister from America, and I was Sin’s cousin from The Fellowship. A friendship was formed. I tried to fight it, but that friendship quickly turned into full-blown desire. I can’t say exactly when it happened. One day she was my friend. The next day I’m looking at her and imagining myself shoving her against the wall and fucking her raw.
My desire for her grew into something else. I developed a deep, profound, true love for Ellison. I kept that endearment secret for months because I thought I wasn’t right for her.
I was wrong.
I am the mate for Ellison. I am the husband for her. I am the father for her children. Our children.
A pregnancy may be our only solution for the problem with Kieran, but I don’t look at it like that. We would eventually have children anyway. It’s just happening a little sooner than we would have chosen if not in this situation.
This baby isn’t a mistake despite the reason behind conceiving it. I’m sure of it.
“I think these need to come off if we’re going to do this.” Ellison unbuttons and unzips my pants while I pull my shirt over my head. Teamwork.
Fucking love getting my cock inside her but this time feels different. I’m having the oddest impulse. The drive to come inside her is so strong I fear I may get one stroke in and blow. Today is our best shot at making a baby happen. There’s definitely a lot of pressure to be successful but I still want it to be special.
My final piece of stripped clothing hits the floor and Ellison crawls up to straddle me. She gently touches the dressing over my shoulder. “You took a bullet while protecting me.”
“It was nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing.”
She shifts her body so we’re pressed skin to skin. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to feel your naked body against mine again. And now I’m going to get to feel it for the rest of our lives as husband and wife.”
“We’re going to be so happy together.”
“Yes, we are.”
She places a quick kiss against my mouth and then moves to sit on her bum in the middle of the bed. She pulls her wet hair over her shoulder before she lies on the bed—feet apart and knees closed. She looks so timid and innocent, but I know better. My girl likes being touched. Licked. Sucked.
Fucked hard.
I kneel and place a hand on each of her knees to push them apart. She lifts her arms over her head and arches her back as she grasps the edge of the mattress. It’s crazy how seductive she looks—sexier than any woman I’ve ever seen in my life. And she’s for my eyes only. My touch only. I covet that.
“I want to try something.”
Ellison grins as a giggle leaves her mouth. “Honey, I know all guys want to try anal but that won’t help us get a baby.”
I push her legs together and roll her to the side so I can spank her bum. “Such a bad girl.”
“Mmm. I guess I am a bad girl because I don’t mind you smacking my ass like that at all.”
“I know it’s a very clinical and unromantic conversation but we need to talk about what we can do to make conception more likely.” The stakes are high.
“You’re the doctor so I’m open to suggestions.”
“I think we should try using the upsuck theory.”
“Upsuck theory? That’s a new one on me but I guess it should be since I’ve never tried to get pregnant.”
“It’s not new. You just didn’t know it had a name.”
“Explanation please.”
“The back of your vagina has a bowl that will catch my semen. If I come first and then bring you to orgasm, your cervix will move up and down, sucking�
�or uptaking—my sperm. Of course my swimmers have a chance of getting to your egg all on their own but this could increase the chances of conception. Won’t hurt to try it.”
“You had me at orgasm.”
She pulls me down so she can kiss my mouth and I whisper against her lips, “I love you.”
“I love you too. And I really want you to put a baby inside me.” Her voice is soft and sweet.
Hearing her ask me for a child changes everything. It rips through my tough, hard Fellowship exterior and brings out the tender side of me that I didn’t know existed until she came into my life.
I’m hovering above her, careful to not press too much of my weight against her. She allows her knees to fall apart and I move into position. “This baby we’re about to make will be loved.”
She watches my eyes as I enter her. “It already is.”
Ellison doesn’t take her eyes from mine as I move in and out of her. Everything about this moment feels so intimate, like she’s seeing straight into the depths of my soul. Makes me feel exposed from the inside out. I love the deep connection I have with Ellison.
It’s time to claim her. Say the words that make it official. “Into me, you see.”
She smiles as she places her hands against each side of my face. “Into me, you see.”
We’ve never discussed them but she knows those words and what they mean. I know by the love I see on her face. “You are my mate. Soon, you’ll be my wife and eventually the mother of our children.”
“I want that so much.”
I’m sliding in and out of Ellison slowly when her legs come up and around my waist. She digs her heels into my arse, coaxing me to thrust harder. Of course, moving harder and faster brings me closer to coming. But it’s okay. This is only the first of many times I’ll have her.
“Fuck. I’m already about to come.”
“My womb is prepared to receive thy child.”
I chuckle as I push her legs back and apart. “Fuck, Mac. Don’t make me laugh while I’m trying to do this.”
She locks her legs around my waist as I thrust one last time. “Fill my vaginal bowl with your baby batter so your bun can bake in my oven.”
“Damn. You have to stop making me laugh.”
Endurance: A Sin Series Standalone Novel (The Sin Trilogy Book 4) Page 19