He extended a balled fist. When he opened it, I found a small pouch lying on his palm. I picked it up and stroked the material. I had no idea what it was, but the cloth's smooth texture felt like a flower petal. I started to open it.
"Don't," he warned. His commanding tone instantly made me stop. "You'll break the spell."
"What spell?"
"The one that masks what's inside the pouch. And the one that masks your immortal signature. "
I nodded with understanding. I might not know what to do with my own love life, but immortal conspiracies I could follow. "To hide me and this from Alec's supplier."
The angel nodded in return.
I held up the pouch and waggled it at him. "So do I get to know what's in there?"
"It's a…" He paused, not from a reluctance to tell me but to search for the right word. "It's a dart, I guess. Or maybe…like, an arrowhead. But that sounds weird. Nah, let's call it a dart. It's only about an inch long. A dart that looks like a small wooden arrowhead."
"Um. Okay. Got it. And what do I do with this darting arrowhead thing?"
"You pierce the other immortal's heart with it."
"Whoa. Like…staking a vampire?"
"Uh, not entirely. You'll sort of have to see when the time comes. The key is to move fast. As soon as you open the pouch, he'll know what you are and what's in there. You don't want to give him time to react because it won't be pretty if he does. Act fast, and don't second-guess yourself."
"How is a small piece of wood going to solve all our problems?"
"It's special wood," he replied with a grin.
"Oh, yeah, that explains everything."
"Are you close to meeting him?"
"Terribly close, actually. I probably could have met him yesterday if I'd wanted. Alec was very keen on introducing us."
Carter frowned, turning this over in his mind. "Hmm. Odd."
"Should I be worried?"
"No more worried than you already should be at the thought of attacking an immortal."
"But I'll be fine if I just act fast and don't overthink it, huh?"
"Right. I imagine that's pretty common for you anyway."
"Anything else I should know?"
"Well…let's see. Yeah. One thing. Don't actually do it until there's provocation."
"What?" I stared. "Being a bastard who pushes addictive substances that destroy mortals isn't provocation enough?"
"Oddly, no. You have to be threatened in some way."
Annoyed, I tossed the pouch onto the table. This was so typical of Carter and Jerome. A bizarrely complex scheme with ridiculous nuances and loopholes. "Threatened? How can he threaten me? He can't unless…wait, he's not an immortal who could kill me, is he?"
"No, of course not. But he could make things very…uncomfortable for you. Anyway, there's a lot of ways to threaten a person. If he hurts you…or you feel vulnerable…like he could abuse his power over you, then that'll work. He's a stronger immortal than you. Preying on you— especially when you belong to Jerome, so to speak—is a big no-no. You would be justified in protecting yourself. But, if you attack wantonly, you'll get in trouble from the powers that be for targeting other immortals. You'll also get us in trouble for arming you."
"This sounds kind of like entrapment."
"That's an ugly word. Let's just keep it in terms of self-defense."
"So, you think things are going to get rough enough that I'll actually need self-defense?"
He hesitated. "I don't know. I just don't know."
"Yeah, but then, if this guy's perfectly nice and just sells me a stash of ambrosia, I can't do anything? We've wasted the trip?"
"Like I said, I don't know. Really. But honestly…if they're making it this easy to find him, I have to think something weird is going on. Just be careful, okay?" His face was all seriousness now. "You're smart. You can pull this off."
"And I don't suppose, at any point in this, you're going to tell me who this guy actually is?"
"I believe ignorance is bliss."
I threw my hands up, not knowing what else to say. Carter traded a few more jokes with me and then rose to go. Hesitating, he gave me a curious look.
"You sure you don't want to talk? You've obviously got something bugging you. "
"I do. But I've got to deal with it on my own."
"Fair enough. See ya." An eyeblink later, the angel disappeared.
Seth showed up about an hour later, a little blue paint smudged on his face. "Terry and Andrea are painting the kitchen now."
I smiled at him, swallowing all the churning emotions within me. "How can you get so messy when you don't even do the painting?"
I found a washcloth and dabbed at his face in a fruitless effort to clean him up. Standing so close, I suddenly had a flashback to last night. His hands stroking my breasts. Feeling him inside of me, filling me up. Our bodies moving together. His lips parting slightly when he came.
"It won't come off," I said abruptly, jerking away.
"Oh. Okay."
I stayed moody and silent for the rest of the night, stiff and distant at any sort of touching. Seth picked up on the vibe right away and let me have my space. We walked a few blocks down the street to a theater that only showed Oscar nominees and artsy, independent films. We saw one of the latter, and I have to admit, it did take my mind off my love life, if only for two hours.
Sitting at an Italian restaurant afterward, I let him draw me into a discussion of the film's merits. It amazed me that my mouth could keep up with the conversation while the rest of me was in an entirely different world.
Over and over, I replayed what had happened last night— and not just the sex part. I analyzed everything, the events that had led up to it. Why had I done it? What had made me give in? Had it really been an altruistic attempt to fix Seth and me by removing the temptation? Had it been an aching desire to take comfort in Bastien? Or, most likely, had it been something selfish on my part? A burning desire to touch what I wasn't supposed to have—not because it might help our relationship, but because I just wanted to do it. I had wanted that pleasure. I had craved his body and simply gave in to the hedonism I longed for. I was a creature of hell, after all. I had observed before that we weren't exactly known for our self-control.
Yet none of that changed the fact that it had happened. It had happened, and I had to do something about it. Or…did I?
Seth sat across from me, looking happy and content as we talked. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I thought back to the lists. If he never found out, the truth couldn't hurt him. We could go on as we had. The only problem would be that I knew the truth. I had to live with this betrayal, not only of our physical relationship but also of our attempts at honesty and openness. One more entry on the list of dark and nasty secrets I already kept.
"You with me, Thetis?" he asked suddenly.
"Huh?"
He gave me a small, sweet smile and moved his hand over to hold mine. I squeezed it back. "You look like you're miles away. "
I gave him a half-smile in return. Apparently I wasn't as subtle as I thought. I looked at him, studying those beloved features, and shook my head. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. Not yet.
"Just tired," I lied.
We shared a dish of gelato and then returned to my apartment. We had just set up the Scrabble board when I felt immortal signatures approaching.
I groaned, not wanting to deal with this. "Hail, hail, the gang's all here."
Seth looked puzzled until we heard the knock at the door. I opened it, letting in Hugh, Peter, Cody, and Bastien.
"You are alive," said Peter cheerfully, smothering me in a hug. "We tried calling you tonight."
"And I've been trying to get a hold of you all day," added Bastien pointedly.
I was perfectly aware that he had called me many times. I had purposely not answered my phone.
"Sorry," I said to all of them.
"Hey, Seth," said Cody, clapping the writer on the back.
The vampire and the rest of the immortals spread themselves out around my living room like they lived there. I gave their giggling and careless behavior a withering glance.
"You guys been barhopping?"
"Yup," said Hugh with pride. "You—both of you—could have joined us."
"Fortunately, the night is still young," declared Bastien. He strolled around the living room, arching an appalled eyebrow at the Scrabble board. "When you didn't answer, we decided to come issue an invitation in person."
"We're going to go shoot pool," explained Cody happily. "Over at that place in Belltown. You guys should come along." He gave Seth a conspiratorial grin. "Georgina's a wicked pool player."
"Thetis is good at everything," Seth murmured automatically. I could tell by his body language he wasn't comfortable with a bunch of drunken immortals in the room. I also knew he didn't want to go out.
"Sorry, guys," I told them. "We've already been out. We're staying in."
This earned snide remarks and groans of disapproval.
"Oh come on," begged Hugh, trying to get Aubrey's attention with a cat toy on a string. She didn't fall for it and hissed at him instead. "We always get better service when you go with us."
"Besides," said Bastien nastily. "It doesn't look you're doing anything else exciting. You should be grateful we came along. We're giving you something. Something you couldn't otherwise get."
I remained calm, but I think the others picked up on the sudden tension in the air. "Sorry," I repeated. "We're staying in. You guys can hang out for a little bit, but then I've got to kick you out. We're doing our own thing. "
"I wasn't aware you guys did anything at all," muttered Bastien in a voice only I heard. Maybe the vampires too, with their superhuman hearing.
"You got anything to drink?" asked Peter, gently nudging me toward being a good hostess.
I was still locked in a battle of wills and eye contact with the incubus. "Yeah, I just bought a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice."
"Oh," said Cody. "Score."
He and Hugh raided my refrigerator, passing out bottles of prissy malted beverage to everyone except Seth and me. We abstained. Lounging around, conversation on silly topics soon ensued, although Bastien, Seth, and I did not participate. Seth stayed quiet because he always stayed quiet in such settings. Bastien and I stayed quiet because we were pissed off at each other.
I excused myself for the restroom and found Bastien waiting outside the door for me when I finished.
"Alcohol runs right through you, huh?" I asked, pushing past him.
He blocked my way, backing me up against the wall.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded in a low voice.
"Nothing. Let me go."
"Bullshit. I left you like a hundred messages. You're avoiding me."
"So? It's my prerogative. Just like that song."
He snorted. "Let me guess. You're having some sort of melodramatic moral crisis over what happened last night. That's so typical of you lately."
"Don't talk to me about last night. You shouldn't have done what you did."
"Is houldn't have? My God, Fleur ,don't act like you're the victim here. Nobody forced you. You more than consented. In fact, I daresay you enjoyed it."
"It was a mistake."
"And so avoiding me is going to fix it? Don't delude yourself. It wasn't a mistake. It was good for you. I helped you. I gave you something you would have never gotten otherwise. You'll remember it for the rest of your life."
"Gee," I said, dripping sarcasm. "How kind of you. Because that's really all there was to it, wasn't there? You only did it to help me. Nothing more. You certainly didn't do it just because you could. Because I was 'beautiful and I was wonderful and you wanted me.' "
"Listen to me—"
"No. You listen to me. If I want to avoid you, let me avoid you. Don't show up at my house drunk and try to force your way into a dialogue. It makes you more of an asshole than you'd be otherwise. I don't want to talk to you. Not anytime soon. Maybe not ever."
"Forever's a long time." He leaned closer, one hand on my arm. "Don't you think you're overreacting to one fuck? Besides, you can't cut me off. You've got to help me with Dana."
"No," I declared icily. "I do not. You're on your own with that. And if you get sent to Guam, then it's your own fucking fault. Maybe it'll give you some time to think about your relations with women outside of business."
"Damn it—"
"Georgina?"
We both turned and saw Seth standing in the hallway. Bastien and I were close—too close—but not romantically close. Anyone with half a brain could tell we were locked in a dispute. Our postures radiated it, as did our expressions. The grip Bastien held on my arm was not friendly.
"Are you okay?" Seth asked carefully. His words came out low and measured, but I saw something unfamiliar in his expression. Not anger, but something else kindling in his eyes. He had told me once he chose his battles carefully, and I wondered then what he would do if he thought the incubus was a real threat to me.
"We're fine," I said. I broke from Bastien's grasp, and he didn't fight it.
"Yes," he agreed with a cold smile. "We're fine."
He walked past me but stopped when he was even with Seth.
"You should be flattered," Bastien told him. "Most women invoke God during sex, but Fleur yells your name. One would have thought you were a deity, considering how many times she paid homage to you last night."
He continued on to the living room, and I didn't even stick around to see Seth's reaction. I stormed after Bastien.
"Get out," I told him. I looked over at the other immortals. "All of you, get out now."
Peter, Cody, and Hugh stared at me in astonishment. I'd kicked them out a number of times, but none of them had ever heard me use this voice on them. Consequently, they heeded it. They scrambled out the door in under a minute, Bastien shooting me a dark glance as he left.
When they were gone, I took a deep breath and turned to Seth. Anger and despair boiled inside of me.
"Let me guess. You want to know what he meant."
His face was unreadable. "Honestly, I don't know." He suddenly sounded tired. "I don't know if I want to."
"Yeah, well, I'll tell you anyway."
The words tore at me while coming out, but I really didn't want to hold onto the secret anymore. Not only because Bastien had given it away but also because I knew I wasn't going to be able to stand having it fester inside of me. It hurt too much. Talking to the incubus had made me realize that.
So while I didn't mention the pictures, I told Seth everything else. Everything.
When I finished, he didn't say anything. He stared at some nonexistent spot in the air, face blank once more. After a couple of minutes of aching silence, he finally turned back to me.
"So. How was I?"
CHAPTER 18
"That's not funny," I said.
"Seems like a reasonable question."
I looked at him and then wrapped my arms around myself. "Is that all you're going to say?"
"I…I don't really know what else to say."
"This is the part where you yell at me."
His eyebrows rose. "Oh, I see. I didn't know this was already scripted out. "
"That's not what…look. I slept with someone else. And not just slept. I didn't have to do it…not the way I have to with humans. You get that, right?"
"Yes," he said, still dead calm.
"And I wasn't drunk or anything. Tipsy maybe, but still in control of my senses."
"Yes."
"So aren't you mad?"
"Stunned is the dominant emotion at the moment. Finding out someone impersonated you is almost more troubling than the sex part."
"He didn't impersonate you, perse…I mean, I knew it was him."
"I know. But it's still weird."
When he fell silent again, I could only stare with incredulity. He caught my look and retuned it.
"What do you want?" This
time he did sound annoyed, almost angry. "Do you want me to be mad? Will that like…punish you or something? Is that what you want?"
I said nothing and realized that was exactly what I wanted. I had read a book once where a guy accidentally killed a girl while driving drunk. His powerful family had managed to keep him out of jail, and he'd hated it. He'd wanted the cleansing catharsis of real punishment, of paying for his crimes. Right now, I needed the same thing.
"I deserve it," I told Seth.
His voice was cold. "Well, I'm not going to give it to you right now. You can't dictate what I feel. Sorry."
My mouth started to drop open, unsure what to do with this turn of events. The ringing of my cell phone interrupted my rumination. I glanced at my purse, then let the phone go to voice mail. A moment later, it rang again.
"You should answer it," Seth told me.
I didn't want to talk to anyone. I wanted to crawl into a hole. But I got the phone and read the display. No one I recognized. Sometimes that was Jerome. If I didn't answer, the demon was likely to teleport on over, and that was quite possibly the only thing that could make this scenario worse.
"I'm sorry," I said softly to Seth, just before I answered. I didn't know if I was apologizing for the interruption or what I'd done with Bastien. "Hello?"
"Hey, Georgina. This is Wyatt."
It took me a moment. From Doug's band. "Hey, how's it going?"
"Bad. I didn't know who else to call. I'm at the hospital with Doug. "
My heart stopped. "Oh my God. What happened?"
"He, uh, took some pills."
"What kind of pills?"
"Not sure. But he took a whole bottle of them."
Wyatt's news spurred Seth and me to action. It was funny how tragedy could override anger. Whatever unresolved issues ensnared us, we put them on hold as I drove us downtown.
Wyatt had briefly told the rest of the story as I'd left my apartment at a run. Alec hadn't come through with his latest shipment. Doug had crashed again, plunging into that frightening darkness I'd observed before. Wyatt didn't entirely know what had triggered the overdose. He blamed everything from a suicidal urge to a desperate attempt at recapturing the high through other means. The emergency room had pumped his stomach, and the doctor said he was okay for now, but he hadn't yet regained consciousness. Wyatt had called me because Doug had no family here, and no one knew how to contact the ones who lived out of town.
Succubs on Top gk-2 Page 23