by Anne Fraser
‘And I told you, I thought we could have a quiet drink here, just the two of us, before throwing ourselves into the mêlée. You’ve no idea how much I need a few minutes to myself right now. I seem to have been on my feet constantly since Simon and his guests arrived,’ Jessie replied, settling herself into a chair.
‘If you’re sure? A white wine, then?’
Meagan poured a glass for Jessie and a soft drink for herself. She wouldn’t be taking any chances. Not even the smallest glass until she was sure.
Jessie raised an eyebrow at Meagan’s glass.
‘Not having some wine yourself?’
‘No,’ Meagan replied. ‘I’m not really much of a drinker.’
The two women sipped their drinks in companionable silence, each preoccupied with her own thoughts.
‘Do you think we have to go?’ Jessie said at last. ‘In many ways I think I’d rather spend the evening here, just relaxing in the peace and quiet.’
‘Mmm, tempting, isn’t it? But I suspect our absence would be commented on.’
‘You’re right, I guess,’ Jessie said, easing herself out of her chair. ‘C’mon, then. Once more into the fray, dear friend. But first could I use your bathroom?’
‘Of course,’ Meagan said. ‘I’ll just get my bag from the bedroom.’
When Meagan returned it was to find Jessie standing looking distinctly curious. In her hand she held the discarded pregnancy test. In the end Meagan had decided to take the test from the surgery and do it in the privacy of her own home. She had been so rattled when she’d seen the result, It hadn’t occurred to her to get rid of the evidence.
‘Is this yours?’ Jessie asked, holding out the test. ‘I’m sorry, I know its really none of my business but when I saw it lying there I couldn’t resist having a peep at the result.’ Meagan blew out her cheeks. ‘Positive!’
For a moment Meagan was tempted to deny that it was hers. She supposed she could say it belonged to a patient, but she knew Jessie was unlikely to believe her. Furthermore, she wanted to tell someone, and Jessie was really the only person she could tell.
‘Yes. It’s mine. And, yes, it is positive.’
‘But I thought…’
‘That I couldn’t get pregnant? So did I. But it seems I was wrong,’ Meagan finished for her. ‘It seems my Fallopian tube wasn’t as badly damaged as I’d thought.’
‘But that’s wonderful! Isn’t it?’ Jessie said.
‘It’s too early to say. There is a small chance it could be another ectopic, in which case, no, it wouldn’t be good news.’
‘When will you know? Who is the father? Is it Cameron’s? Have you told him? What does he say about it? Is he pleased?’ Meagan had to laugh at her friend’s excitement.
‘Hey, hey, slow down. I am not thinking about this until I know for certain that the pregnancy is viable. And then—and only then—will I decide if I should tell him.’
‘It is Cameron’s, then, isn’t it?’ Suddenly the excitement went out of Jessie’s face. ‘Oh, Meagan. And he’s going to marry Rachel. You need to tell him before they announce their engagement. Surely this puts a whole different complexion on everything?’
‘Why?’ Meagan asked. She bit her lip. ‘Don’t you see? I can’t tell him. What is he going to do? Choose between his son and a child who hasn’t been born yet? It would be impossible.’ She held up a hand to stop the words of protest. ‘And say he did choose me. How would I ever know it was for the right reasons? If someone decides they want to be with me, it has to be because they love me. I made do with second best before and I’ll never do that again.’ To her chagrin she felt her voice shake. But she had to make Jessie understand. ‘And say the pregnancy didn’t continue? How could I bear knowing that he had given up his son for nothing?’ She shook her head sadly. ‘No, Jessie. Please, understand. I have to do this my way. By myself.’
‘I still think he has the right to know,’ Jessie said stubbornly.
‘But it’s not up to you,’ Meagan said, smiling ruefully. ‘Is it? Now, don’t you think we’d better go?’
By the time they arrived at the house, the ball was in full swing. Meagan recognised several faces that she had seen at the surgery as well as those of the staff. Most of the men were dressed in kilts while the women wore evening dress, some like Jessie, with a tartan shawl matching that of their partner’s kilts around their shoulders.
The house was filled with the sound of accordions and fiddles and many couples had already taken to the floor and were dancing of Scottish country dances. Meagan felt her feet tapping in rhythm. It had been so long since she had danced and she couldn’t wait to take to the floor. Through the throng of guests she could make out the top of Cameron’s head above those of the guests. Rachel, dressed in a rich blue gown with diamanté, clung to his arm possessively. They certainly made a striking couple, Meagan thought. Both so tall and handsome.
Cameron’s head was bent as he listened attentively to what someone was saying. As the crowd parted, Meagan could see that it was Colin and Peggy. Back from their trip and looking rested and relaxed. She would have preferred to avoid Cameron for as long as possible, but she also knew she had to welcome Colin and his wife home.
As she approached the group she caught Cameron’s eye. His gaze locked on hers and for a moment the world disappeared. She felt her heart pound and her knees grow weak. Here in front of her was everything she had ever wanted, but he belonged to someone else. Cameron bent down and kissed her cheek. ‘You look stunning, Dr Galbraith,’ he whispered in her ear.
Meagan felt herself grow warm. She felt her blush deepen as she caught Rachel’s appraising look. She too bent and kissed her cheek before saying, ‘Welcome, Meagan. The dress suits you. Your colour, I think.’
‘Meagan!’ Colin’s voice drowned out her confusion. ‘How are you? You look lovely, my dear.’ He enveloped her in a hug.
‘Yes, Meagan,’ Peggy added. ‘Quite beautiful. Although—’ she peered short sightedly at Meagan ‘—you do look a little peaky. I hope you haven’t been letting this man—’ she nodded in Cameron’s direction ‘—work you too hard.’
‘I gather it’s been pretty exciting here since I left,’ Colin boomed. ‘Rescues at sea and suchlike. Cameron has been telling me you coped like a pro.’
‘Peggy, Colin.’ Meagan kissed them both. ‘It’s wonderful to have you back. Did you have a good time?’
‘Terrific.’ Colin said. ‘But we’ll have you over for dinner so we can tell you all about it. How about tomorrow evening? You too, Cameron. You can both bring me up to speed with what has been happening at the same time.’
Just then an excited Ian and Effie came running over. Ian barrelled into his father’s arms.
‘Hey, slow down.’ Cameron laughed, hugging his child. ‘You almost knocked Dr Galbraith off her feet.’
Meagan caught her breath as she took in the scene they made. Cameron with his wife-to-be and son by his side. They were a family. Then Ian caught sight of Meagan and hurled himself at her.
‘Where have you been? Why haven’t you come to see me? When can we go sailing again?’
‘It looks as if Ian is making remarkable progress,’ Meagan said, laughing. ‘Looking at him, you’d never guess he’s just recovered from surgery.’
‘I never did thank you for operating on our son. Cameron tells me it could have become serious if you hadn’t been there,’ Rachel said. She pulled her son towards her. ‘I couldn’t have borne it if anything had happened to him,’ she continued softly. Meagan was surprised at the depth of emotion in Rachel’s voice. And from the way she looked at her son, it seemed as if she meant every word she was saying. Of course she loved her child. What mother wouldn’t? Perhaps she was only fighting for Cameron for her son’s sake. Maybe she hadn’t given her enough credit.
Nevertheless, Meagan didn’t want to be around when they announced their engagement. It was bad enough having to stand here making polite conversation, without having to add her congratulati
ons. She glanced down at Rachel’s left hand. She wasn’t wearing an engagement ring yet. So the announcement was still to come.
Meagan crouched in front of Ian. ‘Hello, young man. Your daddy is right. You need to take it easy for a week or two until the wound in your tummy is completely healed. OK?’
‘I will.’ Ian promised. ‘But I had to stay in bed for so many days and it was so boring. Daddy said I could come tonight for a little while. He said something good was going to happen and I should be there. But he wouldn’t tell me what it was. Do you know, Dr Galbraith?’
Meagan closed her eyes briefly lest the child see the anguish she felt. When she opened them he was looking at her curiously. ‘Are you all right? You looked a bit funny for a minute.’ He pulled on his mother’s hand. ‘I think Dr Galbraith is sad about something, Mummy. Do you know what it is?’
As Meagan straightened she could feel Rachel’s eyes on her. When she looked up, she found violet eyes staring into hers. Rachel was frowning. She looked from Meagan to Cameron and then back again.
‘I suppose there are things that Dr Galbraith likes to keep to herself Ian,’ she said.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ Meagan murmured through numb lips, ‘I’ll just go and find Jessie. Colin, Peggy, it’s lovely to see you back. I’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow evening and hearing all about it.’ Conscious being the focus of four pairs of puzzled eyes, Meagan turned and let the crowd swallow her.
She found Jessie surveying the buffet tables critically. The tables were loaded with every kind of food Meagan could imagine. From bowls of shellfish and platters of cold meats and salads to tiny cakes intricately decorated with swirls of chocolate and cream.
‘Do you think there will be enough?’ Jessie asked anxiously.
Meagan laughed. ‘You have got to be kidding. There’s enough there to feed the whole population of the island twice over. By the way, it looks like most of the island is here.’
Jessie glanced around the room. ‘You should see the ball we have at New Year. It’s even more packed. People come back to the island who have been away for years just for the ball. It’s some night. Oh!’ she added. ‘I do hope you will be here then, Meagan.’
Meagan looked at her feet. She wouldn’t be here. Now she was pregnant, there was no way she could stay. It would be impossible. Eventually everyone would find out that it was Cameron’s child she was carrying. News would get back to him wherever he was. No, it was impossible. She could see that now. She felt a wave of sadness wash over her. Just when she had found somewhere she felt she belonged, she would have to up sticks and try and make a new life for herself and her child somewhere else. Jessie must have noticed how she was feeling. She touched her shoulder.
‘Everything will work out, you’ll see,’ she said softly
Before Meagan had a chance to reply, a tall, slim man with blond hair appeared at the table.
‘Ah, Jessie,’ he said. Although his accent was cultivated, his voice had the gentle island burr. ‘I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Then it hit me. You’d be over worrying about the catering. Can’t you take one night off at least, woman?’
Jessie blushed. Even before she introduced them, Meagan had a good idea who the young man was. Not least because of his striking resemblance to Cameron.
‘Simon, can I introduce Dr Galbraith—Meagan? Meagan—Simon Stuart.’
‘Nice to meet you, Meagan,’ he said, grinning at Meagan, before turning back to Jessie just as the band was striking up another tune. ‘May I have the pleasure of both you ladies for the next dance? The Dashing White Sergeant, I believe, so I need both of you.’
Now that I’m here, Meagan thought, I may as well enjoy myself. Moments later she was being whirled around the dance floor. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Cameron’s eyes on her, but he was too far away for her to read his expression.
The set came to an end just in front of Cameron. Before she could catch her breath, he was leading her back onto the dance floor for a waltz. She let herself relax into his arms as he moved with effortless grace around the floor. She, on the other hand, had never been much of a dancer and was soon finding herself treading on Cameron’s toes.
‘Just relax,’ he said, ‘and follow me. Don’t think too much about your feet.’ He was right. As soon as she stopped thinking about the steps, they were dancing as if they had always partnered one another.
Meagan closed her eyes, breathing in the faint scent of aftershave. She could feel the pressure of his hand on the small of her back. This could be the last time he ever held her, she thought miserably.
‘You look lost in thought.’ Cameron bent his head and whispered in her ear. ‘Penny for them?’
The heat was making Meagan’s head spin.
‘I was just wondering when you’re going to announce your engagement.’
She felt rather than heard his intake of breath.
‘My engagement,’ he said slowly. He glanced around before manoeuvring Meagan towards an open door.
‘Let’s gets some air,’ he said.
Out on the verandah it was cool. Winter wasn’t far away, Meagan thought. What would it be like here in the winter? And where would she be?
She shivered. Wherever she was, she would be alone. But, please, God, if her pregnancy was to continue, she would have her child—their child.
Cameron slipped off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She could feel the heat of him in its warmth.
‘What are you going to do?’ he asked.
For a moment she thought he was referring to the baby. But then realised he couldn’t be. There was no way he could know.
‘About what?’ she asked, more sharply than she had intended.
‘About the permanent position here,’ he said. ‘I’ve no doubt Colin will want you to stay on. In fact, he’s hinted that he wants to offer you the position tomorrow at dinner. I’ve told him I think you’d be an excellent choice. And you would be, Meagan,’ he added softly. ‘Any practice would be lucky to get you.’
‘Does he know you are leaving?’ Meagan asked.
‘No. Only you and Jessie know so far. I haven’t had a chance to tell him.’
‘It puts me in a difficult position, then, doesn’t it? He couldn’t cope here alone if we both left. And as you pointed out before, it’s not that easy to find someone who will want to live here. Who will really love this place and want to make a difference here.’
Cameron pulled a hand through his hair. Meagan had to fight to resist the temptation to smooth it away from his eyes. He looked…almost broken, she thought. She hadn’t seen him look like that before. Vulnerable, not in control.
‘I wish there was another way,’ he said. He touched her hair and in the light of the moon Meagan could see the pain in his eyes. ‘I wish…’ He left the sentence unfinished.
‘You wish what?’ she said, her heart pounding.
Cameron let his hand follow the planes of her face. He tipped her chin and looked straight into her eyes.
‘I wish I had met you first,’ he said hoarsely. He lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. Meagan froze, but then almost as if her body was separate to her will, she felt it melt into his. Just once more, she thought, then I can leave him.
They kissed hungrily, oblivious to the fact that there was someone in the shadows behind them watching. Eventually they broke apart, both breathing heavily. ‘My God, Meagan,’ Cameron said. ‘I want you so much.’
‘But you can’t have me. And I can’t have you.’ Meagan said wearily. ‘We both know that.’
Cameron pulled her back into his arms. She rested there for a moment, her head against his chest. She could hear the rhythmic pounding of his heart.
‘There has to be a way,’ he said grimly. ‘I have to find a way.’
Rachel watched as the two figures clung to each other. She had suspected that Meagan was in love with Cameron, but until now had had no idea that he felt the same way. When she had asked him
if there was anyone else, it had been a stab in the dark, but the way he had looked at Meagan, the way he kissed her, she knew instinctively that he loved Meagan in a way that he had never loved her. She stepped forward as the two drew apart.
‘Is there something you want to tell me, Cameron?’ she said quietly.
CHAPTER NINE
MEAGAN was horrified. How long had Rachel been watching from the shadows? What had she seen and heard?
‘Rachel,’ Cameron said heavily. ‘You are right. We do need to talk.’
Meagan was deeply embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry, Rachel,’ she blurted. ‘I should go. Leave you two alone.’ And before anyone could stop her she slipped back inside.
She found her bag and coat where she had left them. She thought about saying goodnight to Jessie but, seeing her dancing with Simon, her face lifted to his and her eyes glowing with pleasure, she decided against it. Besides, she couldn’t face Jessie right now.
Unseen, she went back outside. The darkness was complete. For a moment the moon peeped out from behind clouds, illuminating the road home, but Meagan was barely aware of it. All she wanted to do was get away as quickly as possible from Grimsay House, from Cameron and from Rachel. Despite the cool night air, her cheeks still burned with shame. How could she have let Cameron kiss her and—worse—kiss him back? It didn’t matter what their feelings for one another were—he was committed to Rachel and Ian, and she had no right to come between them. Meagan groaned. Hadn’t she vowed that she would never be the ‘other woman’ after what Charlie and his mistress had done to her?
As the moon dipped behind the clouds, Meagan wished she had thought to ask to borrow a torch, but it was too late now. There was no way she was going back inside. All she wanted to do right now was get to the safety of her cottage, undress and go to bed.
As she half ran down the road, her shoe caught in the hem of her dress. Stopping to remove her high heels, she took a couple of deep steadying breaths. She had to calm down. She had allowed Cameron to kiss her, but it had been a good bye. Hopefully he’d be able to persuade Rachel that their affair was over—had never really started. Cameron could never be hers. She would have to accept that, no matter how painful, and move on with her life. She couldn’t stay here. She knew that with heart-breaking certainty.