by Sam McCarthy
She moved away from me and sat back down in the chair beside the bed. She pulled out her phone and pressed the numbers all while still holding on to my hand. I smiled as the call connected and her only words were...
“She is awake...and you have been summoned!”
She put her phone down and grinned at me.
We spent the next 30 minutes or so chatting, and I even managed a little dinner when the auxiliary nurse brought my tray in. I persuaded them to bring me some crutches and even went to the toilet by myself. I was just heading back to the chair when the door burst open and my gorgeous best friend strode into the room.
“Well thank fuck for that!” He declared. “That ex husband of yours has been keeping vigil while you slept and wouldn’t let anyone get near.”
I lowered myself onto the chair as he just stood there grinning.
“It’s so fucking good to see you Princess.”
“It’s good to see you too Max.” A tear slipped on to my cheek. Now that I had Max and Ellie here I could truly be myself. “I can’t believe he isn’t here.” I whispered.
“I know Princess. I know.” Max comforted me. “We will get you through this I promise.”
“I know.” I told him. I couldn’t cope with anyone feeling sorry for me, not just now. For now, I just wanted to get out of this place before Adam came back. “Now...get that nurse in here with some discharge papers and take me home.” I forced a smile.
“That’s my girl.” Max said with a wink.
He left the room and I gestured for Ellie to pass me the bag that Max had brought in. He was a star and I opened it to find a maxi dress and a huge cardigan, along with one boot and a huge woolly sock for my foot which was in a cast. He had thought of almost everything. There was a hairbrush and clip, a pot of my favourite moisturiser, a can of body spray and a pair of cotton knickers. By the time he came back in I had managed to get into the dress and Ellie was helping me to put on the cardigan.
“You thought of pretty much everything but you didn’t bring a bra?” I asked him.
“Nah...Your tits are still as perky as they were before you hit middle age.” He chuckled and I swiped at him with one of my crutches. “It’s good to see you laughing Princess.” He winked again.
The nurse bustled in shortly after, and she wasn’t impressed.
“I can’t recommend that you leave tonight Mrs Bentley.” She looked nervous. “Your husband said...”
“I don’t give a fuck what he said!” I shouted. “And stop calling him my husband!” I trembled with rage.
“Now just calm down...” She started again.
“Don’t tell me to calm down. That man is NOT my husband, and I have no idea what he has been telling you but I am not going to be here when he gets back!” I took a deep breath. “Now...are you going to get those discharge papers for me to sign or shall I come to the fucking desk myself?”
She tutted and with a roll of her eyes she stormed out of the room. Nobody spoke. Max and Ellie just stared at me, neither one of them knowing how to react to my temper tantrum.
“I’m sorry Ellie.” My eyes met hers. “But your dad is an arse and I cannot still be here when he gets back.”
She nodded in agreement as the nurse burst back through the door and slammed the papers down on the bed. It appeared that my having a go had caused her to lose sight of her professionalism. I scrawled my name on the papers and hobbled past her on my crutches, Max and Ellie following behind.
As we exited the hospital I paused and took in a lungful of the cold air outside.
“It smells like Christmas.” I said quietly.
“It is Mum. Well almost anyway. Let’s get you home.” Ellie placed her hand at my elbow and led me a little way across the car park to Max’ car.
The drive was uncomfortable to say the least and I was relieved when we pulled up at the house. I could see the Christmas lights twinkling through the window. Max always had a massive tree in the bay window. His lounge looked amazing at Christmas, and I choked back the tears as thoughts of the decorations Dominic and I had planned for the apartment sneaked into my mind. I had just about lifted myself out of the car and Ellie was handing me the crutches as Max came round the side of the car and scooped me up off my feet and into his arms.
“The steps are icy Princess. I’ve got you.”
I leaned into him as he carried me up the steps and the door opened ready for us. I was carried through the hallway and deposited safely onto the sofa. Max stepped back and his partner Ian took his place at my side.
“I’m so pleased you are home Elise, we were ever so worried about you.” He smiled and kissed my forehead before standing up and taking hold of Max’ hand. “Tea?” He wasn’t really asking anyone, I think he just wanted something to do.
“I would love a coffee.” I said with a forced smile. “I have never really done the tea thing.”
“Well that’s terribly ‘un’ English of you Elise.” Ian laughed. “Coffee it is then.”
He moved into the kitchen and Ellie took my bag upstairs. Max hovered around, clearly not wanting to leave me alone for a minute now that he had me home.
“Max.” I called his name gently. “I’m fine...really. Stop worrying....please.”
He sat beside me.
“I thought I had lost you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He looked at me with glassy eyes. “You scared the shit out of me Elise.”
I took hold of his hand clasping it in mine tightly. It felt good to be back here with him. Of course I would rather be home with Dominic but that wasn’t going to happen. Ever. I opened my mouth to speak and the sob that escaped took even me by surprise. In an instant I was being held tightly as the tears flowed and my heart broke.
“What happened to him Max? I blubbed. “Nobody will tell me anything.”
“I don’t know Princess.” He sighed. “I really don’t know.” He rubbed my back as I shook, my body racked with sobs. “I tried to find out, but you had no mobile, purse or anything. There is nobody at the apartment and I can’t get to the club without an invite. I have tried really I have.” He moved back a little and tilted my chin upwards. “All I know is that he never came into the hospital as a patient. Adam was there from the minute you were brought in and he wouldn’t tell me anything.”
I looked into his eyes. He looked as broken as I felt.
“I have never felt pain like this Max. He promised me. He promised that he wouldn’t leave me.” The tears were still falling, my head hurt and I just wanted to curl up in a ball.
“Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry.” Max spoke softly as he stroked my hair and attempted to calm me. “Let’s get you into bed and try to get some sleep.”
After a restless few hours trying to get my damn leg comfortable and alternating between dreams of times Dominic and I had together and nightmares where I was watching them lower his body into the ground, I did eventually manage to get some sleep.
Chapter 29
I woke feeling like I had done ten rounds with a pro boxer and as I tried to haul myself out of bed I broke down and crumpled into a heap on the floor. Max came running and sat beside me wrapping his strong arms around me and holding me tightly.
“Sssh Princess. It’s going to be okay. I promise you.”
“I can’t face one more day without him Max. I wish I had died too.” I pressed myself deeper into his warmth and let my emotions take over.
“DON’T SAY THAT!” He moved back and lifted my chin, staring deep into my eyes. “We WILL get through this, and I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.” He hugged me once more before helping me up and handing me tissues for my nose. “Now, get your crippled arse downstairs for breakfast.” He attempted a smile.
The table was laid for breakfast when we got downstairs and Ellie was sitting nursing a cup of coffee. She looked tired and drawn, like she hadn’t slept for weeks but when I entered the room she looked up with the biggest grin ever.
“Morning Mum.” She
slid a cup of coffee across the table to me and wrapped her hands back around her own mug.
I smiled at her as I sat, it was difficult to fit this bloody plaster cast under the table and as I felt my frustration take over I heard a giggle. I snapped my head up to see Ellie, Max and Ian all stifling their laughter.
“I’m sorry Mum.” This was Ellie.
I chuckled myself, feeling normal for the first time since the accident.
“Don’t apologise. I guess it is quite amusing to have me dependant on others.” I finally managed to force my leg under the table and reached for my coffee.
“Max?” I stared into my coffee. “Could you take me to the apartment today please?”
“Yes of course. We don’t have any keys though.” He replied.
“The concierge will let me in.” I told him.
We sat in silence while we drank several cups of coffee. I pushed away every piece of food that was placed in front of me. Ian had gone all out with pancakes and waffles, piled high with crispy bacon and maple syrup. All of my favourites but I couldn’t eat. My stomach churned and putting food into it was the last thing on my mind.
Ian was the first to leave the kitchen table.
“I’m going to head back into the office, see what I can find...if anything.” He sighed.
“Okay.” Max replied and tilted his head as Ian passed by. He was rewarded with a gentle kiss as his man passed him. I smiled to myself. However miserable I was feeling right now I was glad that Max had found someone as wonderful as he was.
Max explained to me that Ian was spending every waking moment trawling the internet for news of Dominic. He was focusing today on the club and its whereabouts. The hope was that someone there would know what had happened.
“But I know where the club is...” I told him.
“What?” Max looked surprised.
“Yes. I have been doing the books there; the keys are in Dominic’s office at the apartment.” I explained.
“Well why didn’t you say so?” Max smiled at me. “Let’s go Princess. We need to wrap you up warm.” He helped me up and ushered me upstairs. I dressed as quickly as was possible with a leg that wouldn’t move when I wanted it to, and within 30 minutes we were in the car and heading for the apartment that I shared with the man I loved.
When we arrived Max pulled up outside and I hobbled to the front door. Pressing the bell for the concierge we waited, rather impatiently for him to respond.
“Hello?” The rather tinny sounding voice came over the intercom.
“It’s Elise Bentley. I...Err....I don’t have my keys...” The door clicked open before I finished speaking and we made our way inside. We were greeted by the huge man that was the concierge, with pock marked skin and a chest wider than the M1. He was a mean looking fellow but not today. Today he was grinning from ear to ear.
“It’s so good to see you Ms.” He took my hand and clasped it firmly in his. “Is there any news on Mr Payne?”
Max shook his head and the concierge released my hand with a downfallen look on his face. He called the lift and handed me a passkey for the penthouse floor. We entered the lift, pushed the passkey into the slot and pressed the button for the top floor. I looked over my shoulder to see this huge man wipe his eyes as we moved away from him. I bit back the tears that threatened to fall once more as the doors closed and the lift began its ascent.
As we approached the floor where the lift would stop I felt an incredible sense of calm come over me. It was no surprise really; this place would always feel like home. Within these walls I could truly be myself. I could succumb to my deepest desires, and listen to my body wholeheartedly.
Not any more though.
Without Dominic it was just a bunch of rooms with furniture in. So I couldn’t quite understand why it felt so natural for me to be here.
The lift pinged softly and the doors slid open. The scent was the first thing to hit me. It was as if he had been here this morning. The essence of him filled the air and I inhaled it deeply as I stepped out of the lift into the open space.
The kitchen was pristine. I expect his housekeeper had been coming still to keep things ticking over.
“Will you move back in?” Max asked me quietly.
I shrugged my shoulders.
“You just look so...I dunno...at peace I guess.” He walked alongside me as I moved around the room. “This is the calmest I have see you since you woke up.”
“I don’t know what will happen Max. I’m fairly certain there will be no provision for me to stay here and I sure as hell couldn’t afford to buy it.” I sighed.
I moved to the piano and lifted the lid, trailing my fingers along it. It tinkled beautifully under my touch and brought back the memory of Dominic playing. I should learn to play I thought to myself.
I turned my back to the window and the incredible view and looked at Max. I felt my shoulders sag and the lump form in my throat as it all became too much.
“I miss him Max.” I blinked as the tears came rapidly. “I just want him home...with me.”
As the first sob left my body Max was with me holding me tightly in his arms and comforting me.
“I wish I could make it better Princess.” He sighed against my hair. “Let’s get these keys and then we can figure out where to go from here.”
He moved away from me gingerly, almost as if he was afraid to let go. As if he was afraid that I might break down completely. I sniffed and tried desperately to stem the tears as I followed him across the room. He stepped aside as we came to the corridor and I passed him and led the way to the office.
His scent was stronger in here. It really was as if he was still here. No normal scent would linger for this length of time. I shrugged again and opened the desk drawer where we kept the keys. I pulled out the large bunch and jangled them in my hand to let Max know that I had them. I picked up the photo frame on the desk. We were stood side by side at a charity dinner. I was dressed in a red backless gown and him in a suit. I was looking into the camera and smiling. He was looking at me. I gasped as I realised that he looked at me like he adored me. He looked like a man in love.
I placed the frame back on the desk and Max touched my hand.
“Why don’t you bring that home?” He asked. “It might help you to have something.”
I nodded as I picked it back up and clutched it to my chest. We turned to leave the office and as I followed Max into the hallway I felt a cool breeze brush past me.
“I’m not going to say goodbye Dominic.” I whispered into the empty room. “I don’t believe our time is over yet and I WILL be with you again someday.”
I closed the door behind me and gave Max a small smile. He held my hand and we headed for the lift once more.
Chapter 30
After some sketchy directions and several wrong turns we finally arrived at the club. Max was busy taking the piss out of me for my crap memory and laughter filled the air. It was as if everything was just normal, and it was extremely refreshing. As we parked outside the wooden door, Max looked around in surprise.
“I know.” I told him. “It’s not what you would expect is it?”
“Errr...No. Not at all.” He replied as he opened the car door. “I don’t actually know what I was expecting. A big neon sign above the door? Dancing girls? A floor map of all the dungeons.” He winked and we chuckled at the silliness of it all. I handed the keys to Max as we approached the door. It would be difficult for me to manage the weight of the door on crutches. He unlocked it and pushed it open. There was a distinctive smell in the air. In all the months I had been coming here out of hours I still hadn’t managed to figure out exactly what it was. It was most likely a concoction of perfumes and cleaning fluids, along with several different oils and balms. The result was a heady scent that you couldn’t help but like.
We navigated the corridors to Dominic’s quarters. It was strange that there was nobody around. Usually a couple of the girls would be floating about or at least a security
man or two. It was strangely silent and a little uncomfortable to say the least. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but it was if the whole place was deserted. We had a busy timetable over Christmas and New Year and there weren’t even any decorations up. I couldn’t hide my confusion as we entered the rooms that Dominic called his own.
“Are you okay Princess?” Max asked with concern.
“Yes...Yes...I’m a bit confused to be honest.” I scratched my head in perplexity. “The Christmas period was fully booked, and yet it’s like a ghost town.”
“Oh.” He too looked confused. “Well that’s strange.” He paused for a moment as if he were carefully thinking through his next statement.
“You can say it you know!” I snapped. “You can just say that it’s because he is dead!” I felt my voice catch in my throat as I said the words out loud. “You can just say that everything is shit, and he isn’t coming back.” I sank down onto the sofa and put my head in my hands and once more I let the tears flow. Max sat beside me. He didn’t touch me this time. He just sat there...a comforting presence and let me cry.
As I composed myself we both snapped our heads up. There were footsteps in the corridor.
“Someone’s here.” Max said as he jumped up and went for the door.
“Hello?” A feminine voice called tentatively.
Max opened the door wide and in walked a woman. She was glamorous but not overly so. She wore a suit and high heels which made her legs look like they went on for miles.
“Hi.” She spoke softly as she came into the room. “Elise? You’re Elise right?”
I nodded.
“My name is Sara. I’m Dominic’s solicitor.” She sat down beside me and turned to speak in a hushed voice to Max. Max wandered off and Sara took hold of my hand.
“How are you holding up?” She asked me, but before I had a chance to reply she continued. “I’m glad you are here. I have been trying to get hold of you. I went to the hospital but they said you had discharged yourself.”
She looked me over with what I saw as concern.
“I’m okay.” My voice was small and unrecognisable as my own. “Just getting through each day. You know how it is.”