“Ha! If only my dad could hear you. He talks about the Jump Ranch like it was some…I don’t know, den of iniquity or something. I always picture it like a place in one of those old movies where you have to do a special knock and say a password before they’ll let you in, and it’s all smoky and murky.”
“And the planes are held together with duct tape, and the boss smokes a big cigar.”
“And here you are, offering to take me to that evil place! You must be evil too.”
He grinned up at me, and before I knew I was going to do it, I leaned forward and kissed him, just a quick brush on the lips. I started to pull back, embarrassed, but his hand was on the back of my head, twining in my hair, and he gently pulled my face down and kissed me back. The tip of his tongue flicked my lips, and I parted them and leaned into him. His arms went around me, and then I was lying next to him, and he was kissing me on the chin, the neck, behind my ear.
I had never really kissed anyone except Theo, not counting Cory in sixth grade and kissing games at parties, and this was different. I opened my eyes. Denny was looking at me. He pulled back a little and smiled.
“What?” I asked.
He drew me close and whispered in my ear, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?”
“No. How long?”
He looked up and squinted, and his lips moved like he was pretending to count. “Since I first saw you in the hangar after my tandem jump.”
“Oh, and from the way you talked that day, I thought you were disappointed that I wasn’t a guy!”
“Not disappointed.” His hand circled my waist. “No, that’s not the word I’d use. Especially the way your shirt, um, hung open when you leaned over.”
I was glad it was dark and he couldn’t see my face.
“I was intimidated, though,” Denny said.
“Intimidated? By me?”
“You were so sure of yourself, so confident. You packed rigs as easily as someone else folds a T-shirt, and they were all perfect. You seemed to know exactly what you want to do with your life—”
“Oh right, and you tried to shoot down my archaeology plans!” I laughed, and he laughed a little too.
“I wasn’t shooting them down,” he protested. “I wanted to know why you were interested in it. And there I was, all dorky and excited from jumping out of a plane tied up to someone like a…like a turkey, acting like I was the one who had done something. But there you were—”
“All sweaty and dusty—”
He laughed. “If you had any idea how beautiful you look all sweaty and dusty!” And he kissed me again.
After a while my phone pinged. “Oh crud.” I started to push myself up to sitting.
“Just leave it.” He kissed me again and for a moment I was tempted.
“I can’t.” I wriggled out of his arms and sat up. I swiped my hair back off my face. “It might be my dad. If I don’t answer, he’ll send out a search party.”
My heart thudded when I saw it was Theo. He texted that he’d gotten the evening off and was with some other counselors in town, and could I call him? Hoping Denny couldn’t see my face, which I knew had to be beet red, I typed quickly and then said, “I’ve got to go.”
“Was that your dad?”
I hesitated. Then, “No. But he’ll be wondering where I am. I just told him dinner.” I stood up. He didn’t. “Denny, I really have to get back.”
“Was it your boyfriend?”
I stared at him. When I tried to speak, he said, “It’s okay. I should have asked before I kissed you.”
“For the record,” I said, “you didn’t kiss me. I kissed you.”
“I kissed you back. And I want to kiss you again. But if you have a boyfriend…” I didn’t answer. “Do you?”
I nodded.
“High-school sweetheart?”
I nodded again. “But he’s away for the summer. And we’ve been…” I hesitated, and then finished, “We’ve been kind of growing apart lately.”
Denny stood. His hair was mussed. “Come on. I’ll take you home.” He didn’t sound angry, and he held out a hand to help me up. I took it but let go as soon as I was standing.
We rode in silence. As he pulled up to the curb in front of my house, I said, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“That I didn’t tell you about—Theo.” I had to force the name out. “About my boyfriend.”
“It’s okay, Clancy.” For the first time I heard something in his voice, hurt or irritation or impatience. “When the cat’s away, right?”
“It’s not like that! I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it mattered. I thought we were friends, hanging out together. It’s not like I planned to kiss you. It just happened, that’s all. And then you kissed me back and I—”
“If I’d known about the boyfriend, I wouldn’t have.”
“Are you sorry you did?” I didn’t mean to sound accusatory, but that’s how it came out.
“I should probably say yes. But I’m not. And I should probably say I’m not coming out to the DZ again. I know Frederick’s parents would understand if I stopped. Frederick would too, but I’ll be there tomorrow. I’ll try to stay out of your way.”
“Okay,” I whispered. I started to get out.
“Just one thing,” he said. “I don’t want to break you and your boyfriend up. But be more honest with him than you were with me, okay?”
“Okay,” I said again. This time I didn’t manage to hold back the tears, and I ran into the house.
My dad and Elise were still at the table, and the house smelled of garlic and tomatoes and cheese. I called, “Hi!” and waved as I headed to my room. I hoped they wouldn’t stop me and make me talk. I closed my door and called Theo.
I got his voice mail. I guessed he had gone out of cell range again. “Damn it!” I had to stop myself from throwing the phone against the wall. I suddenly, desperately needed to hear Theo’s voice. I wanted to hear him say he loved me and missed me, and that the rock-climbing girl wasn’t important. I told myself that was all I needed, that I had kissed Denny only because I was lonely and insecure, and that if Theo hadn’t been so hard to reach, I would never have done it.
But I couldn’t explain away the flip of my stomach when I remembered kissing Denny.
A knock came at the door. “You want some dessert?”
It was Elise. I wanted to ignore her but couldn’t bring myself to be that rude, so I said, “You can come in.”
Elise opened the door and poked her head in. She held out a plate with something white and brown on it. “Tiramisù. From the Italian bakery in my neighborhood.”
I stood up and took it from her. “Thanks.” She still stood there. “Want to come in?”
“If you’re sure I’m not intruding.” She barely stepped inside the door, and her eyes swept the room. “I must say, if I had kept my things half this neat when I was your age, my mother would have been one happy woman.”
“I like everything to be in order.” I tried not to sound stiff.
“I can tell.” She hesitated. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Why?”
She motioned at the mirror. I looked into it and groaned. “Terrific.” My eyes were red. Also, my makeup was smeared, and the beginnings of a hickey showed on my neck.
“Your dad didn’t notice,” she assured me. “The dessert was an excuse to let you know so you could, um, take care of things before you come out again.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I really appreciate it.”
She put her hand on the doorknob and paused. “You might want to brush your hair while you’re at it.” I put my hand on the back of my head and found that it was all mussed from the picnic table.
“Thanks,” I said again.
Her hand still rested on the doorknob, but she didn’t leave. “You okay?” she repeated.
I forced a smile and said as dismissively as I could manage, “Oh, just a little guy trouble,” but my voice trembled.
Elise crossed the room and was holding me almost before I knew it. She gave me a good firm hug, rubbing my back. I found myself hugging her too, and a little of the tension I’d been holding melted as I relaxed into her.
After a minute she loosened her grasp and stepped back. “Your dad told me about your boyfriend getting that job out of the blue,” she said. “Is that the problem?”
“Part of it,” I said, and I don’t know whether I was relieved or disappointed that she didn’t press me for details.
“It’s tough,” she said. “I know how hard it can be.”
“Elise?” my dad called from the den.
“Be right there,” she called back.
“Don’t say anything to him,” I begged her.
“I wouldn’t,” she assured me. “Just don’t get too bent out of shape about it, okay? And let me know if you want to talk sometime.” She scribbled on the notepad on my desk. “My phone number. Whenever.” This time she did leave, closing the door behind her.
I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t a big deal, that people hugged each other all the time, but I knew this actually was kind of a big deal. I had never hugged any of Dad’s girlfriends before.
I heard my dad say something to her—I couldn’t make out the words—and she laughed. Then dishes clattered in the kitchen. For a moment I thought of going out there and joining them, and maybe trying to get Elise alone so I could tell her what had happened. I even got up and headed to my bedroom door, but I chickened out and turned back.
So I set the plate on my bedside table and went into the bathroom while they were still doing the dishes. It was early, but after I got cleaned up, I crawled into bed with my laptop and watched old sitcoms until I heard Elise leave. I fell asleep but kept waking up.
The next morning, it was still dark when I heard my dad moving around in the kitchen.
The day started out foggy again, but something about the light coming through the mist told me that it would clear soon. We were almost at Knoxton when my dad broke the silence. “Denny jumping today?”
I was slumped in the passenger seat, watching the air brighten as the sun did its work and lifted the fog. “He said he was.”
“Nice guy.”
I grunted.
“Not as nice as Theo,” my dad said.
I refused to let him draw me into a discussion about the relative merits of my boyfriend and my—what? Was Denny my friend, or had I ruined that the night before? So I changed the subject. “How was your date?”
“Good. Now I can make two different dinners. Beef Stroganoff and lasagna.” Even though I was still looking out the window, I could feel him glance at me. “Elise wants to sign us up—her and me—for cooking classes.”
“Really?” My dad in cooking classes?
We pulled into the lot. Denny’s red sports car wasn’t there. Not knowing—once again—whether I felt relieved or disappointed, I went into the hangar. Pretty soon jumpers were showing up, and I got busy. I packed all day and didn’t take a lunch break, even though my dad remembered our talk about having regular breaks and told me to stop for a while. I said I would, but I didn’t. We had reheated lasagna for dinner, and then someone made s’mores. I forced one down and listened to the jumpers analyze what they’d done that day. As soon as I could, I told my dad I had a headache and fell asleep in my clothes in the trailer. I didn’t wake until dawn on Sunday.
Cynthia seemed to know something was up. “You okay, sweetie?” she asked when I went into the office to make coffee.
I nodded and watched the coffeepot fill up. Behind me Cynthia said, “Dang it!”
“What?” I didn’t really care; I just wanted her not to ask me what the matter was.
“We’re almost out of that heavy paper for printing first-jump certificates on, and we have a lot of students scheduled today. I don’t have time to get it. Can you see if your dad will let you go to town when the Mart opens?”
“You bet.”
I carried my coffee into the hangar and texted Angie: You busy? Can I call?
There was nothing for me to pack yet. While I waited for Angie to answer, I poked around restlessly and paged through the National Geographic magazine I’d left on my shelf. I couldn’t concentrate on it.
My phone dinged. Angie: Not a good time. Both kids have strep. Just shoot me. I’ll call when I can. I tossed my phone on the shelf, biting my lip in frustration. Elise? But I hadn’t added her to my contacts, and the paper with her number written on it was still on my desk at home.
Margaret Finnegan’s logbook caught my eye, and I remembered that I had meant to take it to Cynthia. I stuck it in my bag along with my phone so I wouldn’t forget again. I flipped through “The Whuffo’s Guide to Skydiving,” which started with entries written in my careful little-girl handwriting.
“Hey.” It was Denny. I looked up from my notebook. He was standing in the doorway, a rig dangling from his hand.
“Hey,” I said back. It was the best I could do. I couldn’t see his face clearly, with the light behind him. I didn’t ask him where he’d been the day before. I didn’t want to hear the answer.
“I’m going up on the first load.” So he didn’t want to talk about Friday night, or maybe he was waiting for me to bring it up. Which I didn’t know how to do.
“Have fun.” My voice was husky, and I cleared my throat. I turned my back to the door and pretended to be fascinated by my “Whuffo’s Guide.” When I figured he had left, I exhaled. Then I felt a touch on my shoulder, and I turned around. He was right there, his serious golden eyes fixed on me.
“I couldn’t sleep Friday night,” he said.
“Me either. Oh, Denny, I’m so sorry. I really messed up.”
Then his arms were around me and he was kissing me—sweet, gentle kisses, not like before. Tears spilled out of my eyes and he kissed them off my cheeks. I pulled away and ripped a paper towel off the holder and blew my nose.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked.
“Theo? No, he can’t use his cell. He’s out in the wilderness.”
“What are you going to tell him?”
“I don’t know.” I felt tears threatening again. “I don’t know how I feel. I need to see him to figure it out.”
“When will that happen?”
A deep voice came from behind Denny. “How about right now?”
I jumped away from Denny, who spun around. There in the doorway stood a tall, familiar figure.
Theo.
All I could do was blink. My first impulse was to run out of the hangar, but I forced myself to stay. “What—what are you doing here?” I stammered. “How did you get here?”
“I drove,” Theo said grimly. “I have a long weekend off between sessions. I left yesterday and came straight here.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Good thing I didn’t.” He glared at Denny and then back at me. “I wanted to surprise you. Don’t you know what today is?”
I stared at him, confused. It wasn’t my birthday and it wasn’t his birthday. “What?”
“Our five-month anniversary.”
“It is?” I counted in my head. “Oh shit. It is.”
“Not the reaction I was hoping for.”
“I think I’d better leave you two alone.” Denny edged toward the door.
“Maybe you should,” I said, but Theo blocked his path.
“Not so fast. Who are you?”
“Theo—” I started.
“Be quiet, Clancy,” he snapped. Always the gentleman. Anyone else would have said “Shut up.”
“Dennis Rider,” Denny said. “I’m a jump student. And you’re the boyfriend, I take it.”
“That’s right. So if you’re jumping, you’re at least eighteen, am I right?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “Don’t you have anything better to do than pick up high-school girls?”
I looked from tall, glowering Theo to short, bewildered Denny. “You’re in high school?” Den
ny asked me. “I thought you were in college!”
I shook my head.
“But you told me—”
“I didn’t tell you I was in college. You assumed it, and I let you go on believing it.” I knew this was feeble, and from the look on Denny’s face he knew it too. I wished so hard that I had been truthful from the beginning.
“She’s sixteen,” Theo snapped.
Denny said slowly, “So the article about your mom…where it said she had a six-year-old daughter, they got that right? I thought the reporter…”
“A sixteen-year-old is jailbait,” Theo told him. “The age of consent in Missouri is seventeen.”
“The age of—” I felt my mouth hanging open and shut it. “Theo, did you think—” I choked, and couldn’t finish.
Denny was the reddest I’d ever seen him. “You’ve got it all wrong,” he said, “but I don’t need to justify myself to you.” He headed for the hangar door again, but Theo blocked him and shoved him in the chest.
“You think because you’re a rich kid you get to steal people’s girlfriends, do anything you want?” Theo demanded.
Denny looked at me. “Do you feel stolen?”
“Leave her out of this,” Theo snarled. “This is between you and me.”
“Clancy too, I think,” Denny said mildly. “And not that it matters, but I’m not a rich kid.”
“Clancy’s a lady.” Theo was still glaring at him. “She doesn’t get involved in this, do you hear me? We can settle it between us.”
The way Theo was acting made any feeling of guilt about kissing Denny shrivel up and die. I finally found my voice. “There’s nothing to settle. You’re acting like an idiot, Theo.”
“I’m acting like an idiot? I drive all the way home to surprise you, and I find you with this guy that you didn’t even know a few weeks ago, and you tell me there’s nothing going on and expect me to believe it?”
“I think you drove back here because Justin told you I was at Manuelito’s with Denny. That’s why you texted me and wanted to talk, isn’t it? Anyway, you know I hate surprises; I’ve told you that a hundred times.”
He rolled his eyes. “Not this again.”
Suddenly I had to get out of there. “You know what? I’ll just go now. I don’t want to be in the same place as you—I don’t even want to breathe the same air as you.” I was getting woozy from hyperventilating. “Denny, I’m really sorry this happened. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
Freefall Summer Page 16