“No way. I can’t believe I didn’t see you.”
“It’s busy here.”
“True.” Rebecca leaned slightly back in her stool so Spencer could see the big man next to her. “Spencer, this is my friend Nick.” She pointed past him. “And that’s Dwayne.”
Nick held a meaty hand out to her. “It’s great to meet you, Spencer. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Spencer shook, not sure if she’d seen Rebecca kick him or if she’d just been shifting her feet.
“Nice to meet you both,” Spencer said, shaking Dwayne’s hand as well.
“You like football?” Nick asked.
Spencer tipped her head from one side to the other. “Yeah, I do. I’m not a rabid fan, but I like to have the game on on Sundays, even if I’m doing something else.”
“Nick here is a TV sports whore,” Rebecca said, sipping what looked like club soda with lime.
“I take offense to that,” Nick said, and pressed a hand to his chest in obviously feigned shock. “Evidently, your friend here knows the pleasures of watching sports on TV.” He shifted his gaze to Spencer. “Right? Do you watch baseball?”
“In the stadium, yes. On TV? Bores me to tears.”
“Hockey?” he asked.
“If they’re smashing each other against the Plexiglas.”
“Golf?”
“God, no,” Spencer said, enjoying the sparring and the way Rebecca was looking from Nick to her and back.
“Tennis.”
“Often.”
“Nascar.”
“Nascar is cars driving in a circle, Nick. Zzzzz.”
Rebecca’s laugh burst out of her and Spencer noted it was the second time that day she’d heard it. And loved it. “She’s got a point, Nicky.”
Nick merely shook his head as he narrowed his eyes at Spencer. “I’m undecided about you.”
“I completely understand.” Spencer held her beer glass toward him, and he touched his to it with a chuckle.
“So,” Rebecca said as the guys turned back to the game. “Come here often?”
Spencer grinned. “Original.”
“I try.”
“Actually, I’ve never been in here before.” Spencer took a swig of her beer. “I’ve seen it. Driven past many times. But this is my first time inside.”
“And your verdict?”
“It’s…a bar.”
Rebecca nodded. “That it is.”
“What about you? Regular hangout for you? You don’t seem like a sports bar kind of girl.”
Rebecca feigned a gasp. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Mostly because of the club soda,” Spencer said, pointing at the glass with her eyes.
“Damn it. That gets me every time.” They shared a grin and Rebecca went on. “I wouldn’t say this is a regular hangout for me, but it is for Nick, and if I want to spend time with him, I generally have to come here. So by extension, yeah. I guess I am sort of a regular.”
“And how do you two know each other?” Spencer asked.
Rebecca opened her mouth to answer, but Nick spoke first. “We were in high school together and Becks here fell madly in love with me. Sadly, the line of hot chicks ahead of her was very long and she got tired of waiting. Decided she’d have better luck with the ladies.”
Rebecca punched him playfully. “A small part of that story is true.”
“The better luck with the ladies part?” Spencer asked. Rebecca touched a finger to the tip of her nose and Spencer laughed. “Also…Becks?”
“Don’t do it,” Dwayne warned her. “I tried once.”
“What happened?”
“She threw a glass at me!” Dwayne’s eyes were wide in mock horror.
“Plastic cup,” Rebecca muttered to Spencer.
“I almost lost an eye!”
“It bounced off his head,” Rebecca clarified. “He hardly felt it.”
“She’s crazy,” Dwayne went on. “Don’t cross her.”
“Word,” said Nick with a sage nod, and sipped his beer.
“I hate both of these men,” Rebecca said to Spencer. “I really do. No idea how I ended up sitting with them.”
“Because you can’t resist our charms,” Nick said.
“Word,” Dwayne said, stealing Nick’s comment.
“I like them,” Spencer said and meant it. “They’re funny.”
Nick turned to look at Rebecca. “Why don’t you switch stools with her? She’s a lot nicer than you.”
Rebecca nodded enthusiastically. “First true thing you’ve said in hours. I completely agree.”
Spencer watched this banter for the better part of an hour, sometimes included, sometimes just listening and then laughing out loud. It might have been longer than an hour. She hadn’t checked her watch once since sitting down next to Rebecca. They were so much fun, these three. It was obvious how much they cared about each other. Even more interesting was how much more relaxed Rebecca was around them. Not that Spencer had ever thought of her as tense or uptight…it was simply a level of comfort that was very apparent. And it looked good on her.
When halftime arrived, Spencer reluctantly began gathering her things.
“You leaving?” Rebecca asked, her tone tinted with an obvious touch of disappointment.
“Yeah, I really need to. I have to swing by my parents’ house, and I’ve got some work stuff to catch up on before tomorrow.”
“Real estate stuff,” Rebecca said.
Spencer was pleased she remembered. “Yes. Real estate stuff.”
“Well, it’s not like I won’t see you again tomorrow.”
“Very true.”
“I’m glad you came and sat with me.” Rebecca’s smile was different this time. It felt like it was just for Spencer.
“Me, too.” Spencer slid off her stool, then touched Nick’s back. “It was great to meet you guys,” she said when Nick and Dwayne both turned to her.
“Same here,” Nick said. “We’re here every Sunday.”
“And sometimes Mondays,” Dwayne offered.
“Occasionally Thursdays,” Nick said.
Spencer laughed. “Got it. You live here. I’ll come visit.” Turning her gaze back to Rebecca, she reached out, touched her upper arm. A beat passed as their eye contact held. Finally, Spencer squeezed, let go. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
A weird duo of feelings tangoed in her head as Spencer headed out to her car, a mix of a necessity to leave and a desire to run back inside and stay until…whenever. She forced her feet to keep moving, got in her car, and drove out of the parking lot faster than she should have.
* * *
“Wow,” Nick said, not looking at Rebecca.
“What? What does that mean?” She squinted at him.
Nick casually took a swig of his beer and dug into the massive plate of nachos he’d ordered to share with them (though both Rebecca and Dwayne knew he’d eat most of them). “Nothing. Just wow.”
“Wow, this game sucks? Wow, these nachos are awesome?”
“Wow, you really like her, and she likes you.” Nick crunched a chip, his eyes on the TV.
“I told you. We’re friends. We talked about it.”
“Friends who’ve fucked.”
“God, you’re so eloquent.” Rebecca reached for a chip, took one with a jalapeño on it.
“I’m just stating the facts.”
Rebecca slumped a bit on her stool, not happy with what Nick was saying but knowing it had a bit of truth to it. She did like Spencer. She was growing to like her more and more with each chance they spent time together. For the first time, part of her began to second-guess the “friends” part of their equation. “Doesn’t matter. She’s engaged. She’s taken.”
“Yeah? Where was her fiancée?”
“I have no idea.”
“Nope. And you didn’t ask.”
“No.”
Should she feel bad about that? Rebecca knew that Nick was making a point, but she didn’t think it was her responsibi
lity to inquire after Spencer’s significant other. If Spencer wanted to talk about her, Spencer could bring her up. That made sense, right?
She reached for another chip, crunched it, and was content to let the conversation be over.
Nick had other plans.
“So,” he said, actually turning to her as there was a commercial on. “How do you think this friendship is going to work?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, have you ever seen me stay friends with a girl I banged?”
“Again with the eloquence. And I’ve told you a million times, Nicky, it’s—”
“Different for lesbians than for straight couples. I know you say that, but I don’t buy it.”
Dwayne apparently decided to join in, but surprisingly, took Rebecca’s side. “I don’t know, dude. It makes sense. Girls do friendship differently than guys.”
“Thank you, Dwayne.”
Nick simply shook his head and continued to eat. “I just want you to pay attention, Becks. You’re walking through a minefield, my friend.”
Accepting that there wasn’t going to be a resolution to this discussion, Rebecca shrugged and said, “I will. I promise.”
“That’s all I ask.”
The game was back on and the trio focused their attention on it, but Nick’s words stuck with Rebecca for the rest of their time together and well into the evening. Home alone, folding laundry, his minefield comment reverberated through her brain.
Was that what she was doing by trying to be friends with Spencer? Walking through a minefield, the possibility of getting blown to bits right there all the time?
Rebecca wasn’t sure she agreed with that.
She understood the limits. She understood the lines. Yes, they’d both crossed them, Spencer with regard to her engagement, Rebecca with regard to her job. They’d both made the same mistake. But they’d talked about it. Sort of. They’d agreed that they’d like to be friends. And while Rebecca couldn’t speak for Spencer, she did know that she enjoyed Spencer’s company more and more, and she didn’t think she should feel bad about that, as Nick seemed to think.
Laundry folded and put away, Rebecca pulled out her laptop and sat down on the couch, determined to catch up on some of the fitness reading she did every Sunday evening. Notebook by her side, she’d jot down interesting things she learned and how they could benefit which clients.
At the very least, it would take her mind off her conversation with Nick. Off Spencer.
Until tomorrow, anyway.
Chapter Sixteen
“Have a good day.” Marti kissed the top of Spencer’s head as she walked past her in the kitchen.
“You, too. See you tonight.” Spencer sat parked along the breakfast bar, working on her laptop and sipping her coffee. She watched as Marti left, looking ridiculously entrepreneurial in her new charcoal gray suit. Spencer would be spending the evening with Marti at a nice restaurant with some of her work friends, as Marti had new clients to wine and dine. Her role of partner was demanding, but she seemed to be loving it. It was something she’d worked hard for; Spencer knew that, and she was proud of Marti.
Only one more class to get through this week. She’d managed both Monday and Wednesday without too much personal contact with Rebecca. Which wasn’t easy. Sunday had been a bit of a wake-up call for Spencer. When the reality of how much she’d enjoyed spending time with Rebecca, of how much she’d have rather stayed on the barstool next to her than do just about any other thing in the world, hit her, it hit her hard. Friends was one thing. Being friends with Rebecca was fine. Perfectly acceptable. But being really close friends could be dangerous.
“Careful there…”
Mary Beth’s warning on Sunday night echoed through her head. After she’d stopped at her parents and spent a little time with them, she’d called Mary Beth from the car on her way home, told her where she’d been that day.
“Careful there…”
It was all she’d said about it, but those two words weighed a ton as they settled on Spencer’s shoulders. They’d stayed with her the rest of Sunday and into the week. She’d gone to class. She’d enjoyed it, but every time she and Rebecca made eye contact, every time Rebecca smiled at her, Spencer heard it.
“Careful there…”
She’d avoided spending any alone time with Rebecca all week and instead, had focused on paying more attention to Marti, who barely seemed to notice.
Spencer was starting to feel adrift. Nothing to hold on to. No idea which direction would lead her where. Alone and lonely.
That was it, and the realization was like a slap.
She was lonely.
In her relationship. In her life. She was lonely. And she recognized now that she’d felt that way for a very long time, but hadn’t even been able to put a name to it, to verbalize it.
She took a sip of coffee, but it burned like acid as it flowed down her throat, so she tossed the rest of it into the sink, gathered her things, and headed for work. She needed other things to take her focus because this kind of thinking wasn’t helping her at all.
It wasn’t unusual for Spencer to be the first one in the office, and today was no exception. Realtors worked crazy hours, worse than retail, and had to be at the beck and call of their clients. That meant their evenings and weekends were often marred by work. That also meant that very few of them were in by nine in the morning.
Spencer was okay with that. She enjoyed having the place to herself. It wasn’t a big office, but she sort of felt like it was her domain. The Realtors worked outside, at houses and condos, but the office? The office belonged to Spencer. She took her time getting her things organized, checking the general email box, jotting down or forwarding any messages for the requested agents. She opened the miniblinds and watered the plants she’d added here and there to give the place a warm and inviting feel. Most importantly, she replenished the supplies around the Keurig. Her agents drank a lot of coffee.
She’d just doctored up her own cup when Jennifer arrived, consistently the first one there after Spencer.
“Good morning, Ms. Thompson,” Jennifer said, with a big smile.
“Hey,” Spencer said as they passed. She took a seat back at her desk.
Jennifer put her purse into her bottom desk drawer, then went to the coffee station and popped a pod into it. As she waited, she stared at Spencer, who could feel it.
With an audible sigh, she looked up from her computer. “What?” she said, staring back at Jennifer. “Why are you looking at me?”
The Keurig beeped and Jennifer poured powdered creamer into her cup, stirred it as she approached Spencer’s desk. She pulled up a chair and sat at the end so she could cross her legs and stare some more. “You going to tell me what’s been bothering you?”
Goddamn it. She could never keep anything from Jennifer. Still, she tried. “What do you mean?”
“Seriously?” Jennifer simply cocked her head and said, “Why do you even try?”
“I don’t know,” Spencer said, and dropped her head in defeat. Jennifer was a wizard at reading her and her moods. “Why aren’t you a psychologist or something?”
“I’m not smooth enough.” Jennifer sipped her coffee. “I have no time to waste on leading somebody to their problem.”
Spencer gave a snort. “Yeah, good point. Probably better you’re not.”
“Just tell me what it is, damn it. Consider me your psychologist and tell me why your moods have been all over the place all week. I’m having trouble keeping up. You need a weekly wall chart or a daily sign on your desk so I know what I’m going to get each morning.” When Spencer didn’t laugh, Jennifer grew serious and sat up. “Okay. Talk to me. What’s up?”
There was little internal debate. Spencer spilled. She told Jennifer everything, reiterating the beginnings of the bride class—which Jennifer already knew—to how she’d quit, to Rebecca’s up and down and back and forth, to the spilled smoothie and the surprise kiss that had come of it, to
Spencer going to Rebecca’s house and practically throwing herself at her, and Rebecca’s request to be friends, and up to now. She was slightly winded when she finished, and she absently wondered if she’d taken a breath at all anywhere during the telling.
Jennifer’s eyes had widened several times, but she didn’t say a word. And now she sat quietly, staring at Spencer, her mouth opening, then closing, then opening again.
Spencer waited, wondering if she’d just ended a friendship because she couldn’t control herself and Jennifer disapproved.
“Well,” Jennifer said finally, and sipped her coffee. “That is…a lot to process.”
“Tell me about it.”
“What have you decided to do?”
“What do you mean?” Spencer furrowed her brow.
“I mean, you cheated on your fiancée, Spence.”
“Yeah, I’m aware.”
“Are you going to tell Marti? Leave her? Do you want to be with the fitness instructor? What are you going to do?”
Spencer turned her gaze toward the window. The little bit of morning sun had vanished behind clouds that were blowing in fast. It was going to storm, and Spencer willed it to come. It would match her mood. “I have no idea,” she said quietly, surprised but not at how much Jennifer sounded like Mary Beth. “I really, really don’t.”
* * *
Class went along smoothly, and despite Rebecca wearing some tight-fitting pants and doing a lot of smiling, Spencer was able to focus on the moves, on the workout, and really put herself into it. Truth be told, she was starting to see results herself, not just hear about how they’d be noticeable eventually, and it was invigorating. Made her want to work harder and more often. In fact, there was a spin class tomorrow she might hit and a yoga class on Sunday afternoon she was interested in.
The divide in the class had decreased as well, which Spencer credited Rebecca for. She talked to them all about health and wellness, about how their diets were just as important as their workouts, how their weight was simply a number and didn’t matter at all if they felt good, if they felt strong and healthy. Even Brittany seemed on her way to believing she didn’t need to be a size 2 to look and feel great at her wedding.
The Shape of You Page 17