She takes in a sharp breath and puts her hand to her chest.
“Hold on. I’m not proposin’.”
“You’re not?”
“No.”
“Then why do you have the ring?”
“I’ve had the ring with me since Babs first passed it along months and months ago.”
“Like with you, with you? On your person?
“Yes. I travel a lot and it’s a comfort to me.”
“Okay. So, you aren’t proposing.”
“No. This here is an anti-proposal.”
“Like you’re promising to never marry me?” she asks.
“Not exactly,” I say. “I’m giving you this ring. But I’m not putting it on your finger.”
“Okay,” she says drawing the word out.
“When you’re ready. And I mean beyond the shadow of a doubt, go directly to the court house and get a license, combine houses kind of ready, you put it on. You never get there? Well, that’s downright devastatin’ for me. But I’ll accept it. ‘Cause I’ll have you any way that I can get you. I want one hundred percent. But I’ll settle for ninety-eight if I have to.” I smile to let her know I’m joking.
Kind of.
She takes the ring in her hand and looks at it a while.
“It’s beautiful,” she breathes.
“The bonus is, I figure with a band you could still do all your stuff with it on. A solitaire might rip your rubber gloves, or get caught on a barrel, or who knows what.”
She smiles at me. “That’s very thoughtful of you.” Her voice almost formal.
I nod back at her. Not sure what to do now.
She stands and puts the ring in the pocket of her jacket, then zips the pocket shut.
“Can I tell you that I love you without you freakin’ out?” I ask, knowing this might be a mistake.
“Yes,” she smiles.
“’Cause you ain’t ready for all of me yet, sweetness. But no harm’s done in telling you how I feel while I’m awake.”
“I’m ready.”
I place my palms on either side of her face and tilt her head up so her eyes meet mine. Then I lean down and kiss her softly on the lips. “I love you, Lexie. It may not make sense, and it may be too soon, and it may really freak you out. But I do.”
She opens her mouth to say something, then closes it. And repeats it one more time.
“Cole, I—” she starts. I place my finger over her lips to shush her. Quickly replacing my finger with my lips. Whatever it is she’s going to say, I don’t want to hear it right now. Good or bad.
“I was just gonna see, before you shushed me, if you want to take a shower with me?” she asks, shyly.
Uh-huh. Sure.
“Does a bear shit in the woods?” I ask. She squeals as I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder to carry her into the bathroom. More than ready to carry out my fantasy from this morning.
Chapter 51
Lexie
I finish recounting to the girls everything that Cole said to me. We’re gathered around Remi’s dining room table, having just finished dinner. She didn’t want to leave Chance alone again, since he’s barely been out of the hospital a week.
“Wow,” Kat says.
“I’ve never heard of an anti-proposal,” Remi adds.
“It’s fucking brilliant,” Chance says. “It gets you off the market and keeps him off the hook.” He laughs at his own joke. I look for something to throw at him.
“I’m kidding, Pinkie, don’t get your panties in a bunch. But, for research’s sake, what color are they?” He winks.
“I can’t be held responsible for his behavior. It’s been two weeks. I can’t even blow him.” Remi holds her hands up in the air, palms out.
“Wow, why?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” she says waving her hand dismissively. “Something about his ribs or his leg, internal bleeding. I honestly don’t remember. We have to wait another week.”
“My doc is Satan,” Chance adds as he rolls by in his wheelchair, bringing dishes into the kitchen.
“Sounds hot,” Kat says. We all laugh at the dumb joke. Remi pours us more wine, as Chance rolls back into the room.
“Seriously, Pinkie, you don’t get why he did that?”
“No, and I’m annoyed as fuck about it. I mean, who does that?”
“A guy in love.” He parks his wheelchair next to Remi’s chair and leans over to bite her ear with a pretend growl. She squeals.
“A smart guy in love,” Chance adds.
“Still not following,” I say. “But he did tell me he loves me.”
“Pay up,” Kat says to Remi.
“Shit, that was fast,” Remi complains.
“Nothing wrong with a man knowing his feelings, beautiful. What is wrong is you two dissing your girl like this, betting on her love life.”
Kat flicks her hand at Chance in dismissal.
“Whatever,” Remi mumbles as she gets her wallet and hands Kat a folded bill, Chance pulls her into his lap as she walks by then looks at me over her shoulder.
“Pinkie, sweetheart, were you ever in control with Trevor?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, did you ever have the upper hand? Was it ever your call? Or was it always just you waiting on him?”
“Well . . .” I start.
“It was always you waiting on him,” Kat and Remi both say at the same time.
“Jinx,” Chance yells before they have an opportunity to. “Ha, now they both have to be quiet until I give them permission to speak. We can continue our conversation amongst ourselves.” Kat gives him the finger. Chance blows her a kiss back. Remi turns her head back and sticks her tongue out at him. “Oh, I’ll put that to good use later, beautiful.” Her eyes light up and she smiles. He tells her I love you by pointing at his eyes, his heart, and her. She mouths back, same.
“Damn, totally thought I was going to trick her there into talking,” Chance says to me with a wink. “She breaks the jinx, I have a slave for the day.” He laughs the evil cartoon laugh before continuing, “Okay, so, Trevor was always making all the decisions, right? When to leave, when to come back, when to call.”
I nod in agreement. Remi gets up from his lap and returns to her chair. He smacks her on the ass lightly. She stays quiet. Chance sighs, then continues.
“And Cole, in a way, has done the same thing to you, by declaring you’re his lightning bolt, but subconsciously admitting he loves you. It hasn’t progressed in the quote, normal, fashion. But it’s still him dictating what’s happening. And you are happy as hell to go along with it because it’s what you know. It’s what you’re comfortable with even if it is dysfunctional. It’s your normal.”
I look at him, my mouth hanging open, squint my eyes and cock my head. “Were you always this smart?”
“Pfft. Yeah,” he scoffs at the same time Kat nods yes and Remi shakes her head no. He glares at them, then turns back to me. “Anyway, he’s breaking that pattern for you. Forcing you to make a healthy decision by letting you call the shots. You determine when you’re ready and he’s the one kept waiting.”
“But isn’t it the same when a guy proposes ordinarily and he has to wait for an answer?”
“No,” Chance says.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because if you recall, Cole never asked. This is all up to you. He’ll take you either way. It’s not one or the other. It’s an anti-proposal. And it’s pretty fucking brilliant.” An alarm goes off on his watch, he looks down at it. “That’s all I have time for, ladies, you are released from your jinx, I have some baseball to armchair coach.” He grabs his cell phone and calls someone, they immediately begin talking about the game that hasn’t even started yet.
“His family is obsessed with baseball,” Remi says shaking her head.
“So, what do I do?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Kat says. “I mean, are you ever really ready for marriage? Like can anyone say with one hundred percent
certainty that they are ready? Or do they just decide to do it and then keep moving forward?”
“You don’t have to decide now,” Remi says. “Think on it. Date some more. He’s not going anywhere by his own admission.”
“I know,” I say. “But what if he does go anyway?”
“If that’s gonna happen, it doesn’t matter where he is or what has already happened. Hello? Trevor anyone?” Kat says.
“True,” I say.
I finish up with the girls and we help Remi with her dishes, then I head home.
I take my time getting ready for bed. Knowing that once I’m ready to lay down I’ll call Cole and I’m still trying to process what Chance said earlier. It makes sense, everything he said. And I’m trying to keep a level head about it all, but it’s not easy. I want this with Cole. I know he stopped me from telling him I love him at the hotel. I’m just not sure why. Maybe he’s right and I’m not ready for him, for something new, for my forever love. But I feel sure about my feelings for him. And, yes, it’s fast, but why can’t I have my lightning bolt moment too. When you know, you just know.
He answers the phone, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine. “Sweetness.”
“Hi,” I say. I reach in my pocket for the ring. I like to hold it when I’m talking to him. I don’t know why.
But I can’t quite reach the bottom of my pocket. I stand up and dig my hand all way to the bottom.
Not there.
I cradle the phone between my cheek and shoulder to check my other pocket. And then both pockets at once.
Empty.
Back pockets. Same.
Time to panic.
Cole is talking, but I have no idea what he’s saying.
“Hey,” I interrupt. “Can I call you right back?”
“Of course. Everything okay?”
“Oh yeah. Totally. I just . . . I have to pee and I don’t want you to hear it.”
“Got it. Okay. Talk to you soon.”
“Bye.”
I disconnect and frantically begin looking for the ring. It’s not on the floor. It’s not in any of my pockets. I dump my purse out on my bed, it’s not in there. I run out to my car with a flashlight. Nothing. I retrace my steps from the car to house. Nope.
I walk through the house dropping other rings to see how they land, bounce, and roll hoping to get an idea of where THE ring is. All I find are dust balls, husky fur, and the rings I intentionally dropped.
I conference call Kat and Remi and make them both promise to look everywhere. Kat offers to go back to Remi’s and help her look for it. Forty-five minutes later they call to let me know they can’t find it anywhere. And Remi’s house is immaculate. If it were there, they would have seen it. In the meantime, Cole must think I’m the world’s longest pee-er. Either that or that I’ve forgotten about him. Neither of which is good.
I sit down on the edge of my bed and sink to the floor. Two of my huskies, Reilly and Baldwin, come to console me. It occurs to me that one of them may have swallowed the ring.
Oh shit.
Ha, oh shit is right.
Looking through seven dogs’ piles of shit for the next couple days until it passes won’t be fun.
“Why can’t you guys just talk, huh? Tell me if you swallowed Cole’s ring.” Both look back at me, blue eyes shining, tongues lolling, one panting and the other drooling from the side of his mouth.
I can’t believe this.
What do I do?
How do you tell a guy, “I want to put your vintage, heirloom ring on and commit to you completely? Marriage and all. I’m totally ready. You are the most important thing in my life.”
Except I lost the ring.
Or else my dog(s) ate it.
I swear I took good care of it.
Any chance I could have a do-over?
Epilogue
LEXIE – Four weeks later
In case you’re wondering, it costs $2,100 to get x-rays for seven dogs at the 24-hr Emergency Clinic. They wouldn’t even give me a pay for six, get the seventh for free discount.
According to the x-rays, none of the dogs had swallowed the ring. Regardless, I still obsessed over their every bowel movement for the next week just to be sure. It only took an entire box of surgical gloves, and countless hours of searching, to find nothing. The good news being I now consider myself to be an expert on all things dog poo related.
It took until this morning before I admitted to Cole that I lost the ring. That’s four weeks of lying to him and telling him I just wasn’t ready. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the look on his face when I finally did tell him broke my heart. I think he would have cried had I not started crying first. I don’t know what hurt him more, the fact that I lost something so precious to him and his family, that he had entrusted to me. Or that I was ready sooner and lied about it to hide the fact that I lost the ring.
Not that it matters now, we are on our way to buy me a new ring.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask.
“Do you not want a ring, sweetness?” he smiles as he asks. “That why you ‘lost it’?” He air quotes the words lost and it. I laugh and backhand him on the biceps.
“Don’t tease,” I say. “It’s not funny. I feel terrible.” He picks up my hand and kisses the back of it. Then holds it, as he rests both hands in his lap.
“We will start our own tradition with a new ring, sweetness. Okay? One that you can pass on to our son when the time comes.”
“What if we have all girls?” I ask.
“Bite your tongue, woman,” he scolds.
I laugh.
He’s made no secret of the fact he wants at least two boys and two girls. I already told him twins run in my family. He said two sets of twins was fine with him. To which I laughed, because two sets of twins are a near impossibility.
We arrive at the jeweler’s office just before our appointment time, Cole rings for entry. It’s the same jeweler that Babs and Pappy used over the years and he’s by appointment only. Two security cameras reposition themselves above us, Cole steps back to show his face. The door buzzes and a voice says, “Welcome, Mister Mason. Come up to the studio, please.”
We climb an art-filled stairwell to a well-lit studio with modern furnishings. The jeweler sits behind a large desk. He stands to greet us, introducing himself to me, then motions for us to sit across the desk from him. Two velvet trays are arranged on the table top that hold five to ten rings each.
“These are exquisite,” I breathe over the selection he’s set before us. The first one to catch my eye is similar to Babs’ ring that I lost. Rose gold eternity band, with jewel clusters set to look like flowers. Four diamonds act as petals and surround a single pink or yellow diamond in the center to make up each flower. Eight flowers in all.
I take my time and look at all the other rings but keep going back to the first one.
“Do you see one you like?” I ask Cole.
“I do. Do you?”
I nod. I want to know how much they are, but it’s not like at the department stores where a little tag is attached. I don’t want Cole spending a lot of money on a ring for me, but I’m afraid to ask the jeweler for the price.
“What can you tell us about this one?” Cole asks. I gasp as he picks up the one I’ve been eyeing.
He looks at me.
“I love that one,” I admit.
The jeweler tells us about the ring including that it’s five carats total weight. I gasp at that as well.
“It’s too much,” I say.
“We’ll take it,” Cole says.
“What if I lose it?” I argue.
“Then we come back for the second favorite,” Cole states.
The jeweler shines the ring and hands it to Cole. He in turn hands it to me. I raise my eyebrows at him. He nods toward my ring finger. I put it on and hold my left hand out in front of me.
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I whisper.
“You’re the mo
st beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he says as he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips.
Cole arranges for payment, and we say our goodbyes. He takes my hand as we walk down the stairwell side by side. My shoulder brushes against the wall as we go, making my purse slip from my shoulder and I grab the bottom corner with my hand to catch it.
I feel something hard that I can’t quite identify. I run my fingers around it through the leather.
Circular.
Soft in the middle.
Hard.
WTF?
I wait until we are in the car before looking inside my purse. But don’t see anything. I feel around again, it’s still there.
“What the hell?” I mumble.
“Everything okay?” Cole asks.
“Hang on,” I say.
I hold onto it from the outside with one hand and pull everything from my purse with the other. Whatever it is, it’s stuck between the lining and the leather. I turn the purse inside out. Cole is looking at me strangely. It’s only after I go over every inch of the lining that I find the small tear in the corner. The same corner with the object that I am now hoping . . .
I rip the lining open.
There lies Babs’ ring.
“Mother fucker,” I say.
Cole looks at me. I pick up the ring and show it to him.
He starts to laugh. “You just gunnin’ for two rings, sweetness?” He laughs harder.
“No! Ohmigod, I can’t believe I found it. I’m so happy. It’s not lost. I didn’t lose it. I AM a responsible adult. This is awesome.” I sing the last word.
I go to put in on my finger which is when I remember the ring we just bought.
How do I forget these things?
“Shit . . . I . . . can we return the new one?” I ask.
Cole laughs more. “No, sweetness, we can’t. Just wear it on the other finger or something.”
“I can’t just wear it on the other finger. I can’t keep both. How much was it anyway?”
Cole sobers slightly. “Sweetness, it doesn’t matter how much it was. You love that ring. I love that ring, ‘nuff said. Now, as near as I can tell, this here is a perfect situation. I was able to buy you something that we both like, and you still have the family ring. I am beyond over the moon that you are wearing one at all. Now you got two. Makes me happier than a clam at high tide.”
Love Unforgettable: Love in San Soloman - Book Three Page 27