You can’t save them all.
Shutting the water off with a shaky hand, I drew on the fear, anxiety and determination to protect the ones I loved. “Watch me,” I said in a surprisingly steady voice, which gave me the confidence to continue, “Go. Away.”
Instantly the room felt bigger, the air lighter. Exhaling a sharp breath, I grabbed the towel from the top of the shower door and wrapped its flimsy protection around myself. Chanting Laniey’ll wake up and Ethan will stay safe over and over in my head, I swiped my hand across the glass in furious, determined swipes, rubbing away Fate’s presence.
Chapter Twenty-One
The next morning, a booming clap of thunder and flash of lightning jerked me from a restless sleep. My heart pounded as I sat up in bed. Normally daylight would be glimmering in by now, but the storm clouds kept the sky dark and gloomy.
The phone rang and I quickly picked it up. “Hello?”
“Good morning,” Mom said at the same time thunder rumbled, followed by a zap of lightning. The phone’s reception buzzed in and out. “What was that?”
Mom always got up with the roosters. I blinked hard, trying to wake up. After my scary run in with Fate, I hadn’t been able to fall asleep last night, but among worrying for Lainey and Ethan, I must’ve finally dozed for a couple hours. “It’s storming here. How’s Texas?”
“Warm. I despise doing audits.”
I rubbed the achy tiredness from my eyes. “I thought you lived and breathed numbers.”
“Other numbers. Audits give me a migraine. Maybe I will call your Mr. Dixon.”
“You’re serious about learning Spanish?”
“It could be helpful to know the gist of what’s being said around me while I’m auditing.”
“I’ll get you his contact information,” I said on a big yawn. I wished I could feel excited that my match-making plan was in motion, but all I could think about was Lainey lying unconscious in the hospital and Fate lurking.
“Sounds good. It’s a good thing I called. From the amount of yawns I’m hearing, your alarm clock wouldn’t have woken you. Everything going okay there?”
I considered telling her about Lainey’s accident, but I didn’t want her to worry. I’d tell her when she got back. “Mmm-hmm.” The phone buzzed in and out again.
“Whew, I heard that pop, Inara. That’s a bad storm. I won’t keep you on the phone. I just wanted to remind you I’ll be home around noon tomorrow.”
“Okay, have a safe trip back.”
“Inara? Let’s plan to go to Williamsburg soon. Have some us time. Maybe do some early Christmas shopping? What do you think?”
Warmth spread through me, briefly overshadowing my concern over Lainey and worry for Ethan’s safety. It felt good to finally press Play and move forward. “Sounds great, Mom. See you tomorrow.”
Once I pulled into a space in the school parking lot, I called Aunt Sage.
“Morning, Inara. You don’t usually call so early. Is everything okay?”
I tried to keep my voice even. “My friend Lainey was in the car accident last night.”
“Oh, no! Is she all right?”
“She hasn’t woken up yet.” My voice shook. “I’m so scared she won’t.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie. Hopefully she’ll wake up soon.”
“Aunt Sage.”
“Yes?”
“What price did my dad pay?” When she didn’t answer right away, my chest started to squeeze. Long pauses were never a good sign. “Did you hear me?”
“Why are you asking?”
I gulped back a sob. “I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. I even drove Lainey home. Since I’d changed what was supposed to happen last night, everything beyond that moment for her had changed. I had no idea she’d leave her house and drive back to the party.”
“Slow down, take a breath, and tell me what happened. You said you tried to stop something from happening. Did you get your dreams back?”
“Yes, I got my dreams back. I dreamed Lainey got into a car accident when she left the party last night.”
“And you tried to stop her from driving. Was she drinking?”
I wasn’t mentioning that she’d been drinking. “She—she was upset with her boyfriend, who turned out to be a cheating jerk, so I drove her home. I tried to help her, Aunt Sage.”
“Inara, I know you were just being her friend, but you also acted on precognizant knowledge. Changing the natural course can sometimes have consequences.”
I wiped the tears from my face and sniffed to calm down. “Is that what you meant when you said Dad paid for interfering? Did he try to help but it didn’t make a difference? What price did he pay, Aunt Sage?”
“He paid by losing something precious.”
She sounded so sad, worry gripped me. “What did he lose?”
“He—he’ll want to tell you himself. I’ll let him know that you have your dreams back. That should be enough for him to contact you.”
“Aunt Sage.” I couldn’t believe she wouldn’t tell me. I wanted her to help me connect with my dad. After last night, I needed to learn everything I could about my powers, but I wanted some answers now.
“I made a vow, Inara. I promised my brother.”
“What did he lose?” I said in a higher pitch.
“He lost you and your mother,” she said quietly.
“He left us!” I screeched, my fingers forming claws around my cell.
“I’ve said too much.” Sage’s tone turned brisk. “He will contact you, even if I have to threaten him to make it happen.”
“Aunt Sage.”
“I’ll get back to you soon. And no more interfering, please.”
Before I could say another word, she hung up.
“Damn it!” I’d just tossed my cell phone into the passenger seat when someone knocked on my window. Jumping, I pressed my hand against my pounding heart.
“You coming?” Ethan stood outside my car, the stormy wind blowing his hair in every direction. “The first bell rang already,” he said through the glass.
Glancing quickly in the mirror, I was glad to see the makeup I’d used to cover the bruise on my nose held up in morning light. I grabbed my cell, then shoved it in my backpack before climbing out of the car.
“Did the storm wake you early this morning, too?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah.” We were almost to the main door when Ethan said, “You want to talk about it?”
I tensed, wondering if he was referring to Fate’s visit last night, but then I realized he hadn’t seen that in my dream or he would’ve warned me. “I can’t believe my aunt won’t tell me the price my dad paid for interfering. Now I have to wait for him to call me about it.”
He stopped and shifted his books from one hand to the other. “You’re still blaming yourself for what happened with Lainey, aren’t you?”
Halting, I stared at him, then bit my lip to keep it from trembling. I wanted to tell him about Fate, but I knew he’d be upset. Before we walked into school, I had to say something to let him know Fate had gone beyond lurking, so I said, “Please be extra careful, okay?”
Ethan held my gaze for a couple seconds, then nodded and headed off to class.
The moment I leaned into Lainey’s hospital room, the medicinal smells instantly made me think of death. Shoving my nose into the bouquet of flowers in my hand, I knocked lightly to let Mrs. O’Neal know I was there.
“Nara.” She waved me in from her chair near the bed. As I set the flowers on a nearby table, she glanced at her daughter. “She looks so peaceful, doesn’t she?”
An IV was taped to Lainey’s wrist and a blood pressure cuff was wrapped around her arm, but beyond the scrape and bruise on her forehead and a few more bruises on her arms, she looked like she was sleeping and would wake up any moment. My heart thumped and I felt light-headed, but managed a nod. “What did the doctors say?” I asked in a strangled whisper.
“There’s no change in her condition.” Lainey’s mom ran h
er hand across her forehead. She looked like she hadn’t slept in three days. “And there’s no need to whisper, hon. The doctors want us to talk to Lainey. They said it might help her recover.”
“Oh, okay,” I said in a crackly voice.
Standing, she arched her back and then stretched her arms. “Would you mind sitting with Lainey while I go talk to the nurses? Her father’s getting us lunch and I don’t want to leave her alone.”
I bobbed my head and waited until Mrs. O’Neal left to sit in the chair she’d vacated. Clasping Lainey’s cool fingers, I pressed my warm ones against hers. “Can you hear me, Lainey?”
Her hand remained limp. Guilt roared through me in flashes of hot and cold. “I’m so sorry. I tried, Lainey. I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t.”
Turning her hand over, I ran my thumb across her open palm, wishing she could hear me and know how much I wanted her to get better. “You’re probably wondering what I’m talking about, huh?”
A hollow laugh escaped as a hot tear rolled down my cheek. I brushed it away and squeezed her fingers. “I dreamed about your accident and I tried to stop it. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have this ability to see the future and still not be able to help you.”
Sniffling, I tightened my hand on hers, my voice turning stern. “You need to wake up, Lainey. How are you going to tell Jared off if you’re laying in bed, taking a long nap?”
Lainey’s fingers jumped against mine, making me gasp. When I looked up, her eyes were sliding back and forth under her eyelids, like she was dreaming. “Did you hear me?” I whispered.
Mr. and Mrs. O’Neal walked in carrying their lunch. “Hey, Nara,” Mr. O’Neal said. His overnight beard shined gray against his tan chin and his voice sounded like ground-up glass.
I stood, still holding Lainey’s hand. “I—I’m not certain, but I just thought I felt Lainey’s fingers move.”
“Really?” they said in unison. Hope filled her parents’ faces. As Mrs. O’Neal rushed to Lainey’s side, Mr. O’Neal dashed out of the room, calling for a nurse.
Trying not to get my own hopes up, I laid Lainey’s hand back on the bed and kept my voice calm and even. “I need to get back to school. My lunch hour’s almost over, but please let me know if anything changes, Mrs. O’Neal.”
Reaching for her daughter’s other hand, tears brimmed Julia’s eyes. “I promise I’ll call as soon as there’s any change.”
Later that day, I was in the library searching the online catalogue of Biology texts when my phone began to vibrate. Glancing up to make sure the librarian wasn’t around, I answered my cell with a quick whisper, “Hello?”
“Nara, it’s Julia. I just wanted to let you know Lainey woke up twenty minutes ago.”
“Oh, thank God! I’m so glad,” I squealed, then instantly lowered my voice. “How’s she feeling?”
Julia sniffed back tears. “She’s pretty banged up and tired. The doctors are checking her vitals now. They want her to rest tonight. No more visitors, but please come see her tomorrow. Can you let her other friends know the good news for me?”
“I will, Mrs. O’Neal. Thank you for calling.”
I was in such a good mood that I had a hard time concentrating the rest of study hall. I was just about ready to log out when someone set a chair beside me. As Ethan sat down, I beamed. “Lainey woke up an hour ago.”
Relief flitted across his face. “I’m glad she’s going to be okay.” We sat in silence for a couple of seconds before his expression turned serious. “I wanted to talk to you about Fate, about you challenging it.”
Tensing, I exited out of the list of Biology books I’d been searching. “I know you didn’t think it was a good idea—” What would he say about last night?
“No, that’s not it. I think that might be exactly what you need to do.”
I stared at him, wide-eyed. “You want me to challenge Fate? You said it was dangerous.”
He blew out a harsh breath. “I thought about this all last night. In the library and again in the parking lot, I think Fate was trying to make you pay for getting involved. I don’t think it was trying to scare you, Nara. I think it was trying to take you out.”
Terror shot through me. Fate had gotten personally physical last night at a time when I’d felt the most exposed, but was it really trying to kill me? “But we talked about this. Since I know my future, I would’ve known what Fate was going to do and I would’ve avoided the situation.”
“I agreed with that idea at first, but the sense of wrongness I’ve felt has stayed with me, and then after I felt it again last night at Jared’s and it still didn’t go away, I considered what’s happened recently in a whole new light. I think all of this ties into the fact I’m not in your dreams.”
Intrigued, I turned to fully face him. “You figured out why you’re not in my dreams?”
“Not that part, but just hear me out. In the past, you had your dreams and therefore you knew your future. With me in your life, you’ve lost your dreams.”
“But you’ve told me the important stuff, so I didn’t really lose them.”
“I’ve been thinking about that.” He rubbed his jaw. “Neither one of us have seen me in your dreams, which is about your future. What if Fate is aware that you don’t have your dreams any longer? That’d be a pretty big deal. Without your dreams, Fate would assume you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself against “future” stuff that would happen to you.”
Like what happened to me last night. I was totally surprised by Fate’s attack.
Ethan continued, breaking into my train of thought. “But since you can’t see me in your dreams, maybe Fate can’t see me either.”
“That’s an interesting theory,” I said, my head spinning.
Ethan slid his palms across his jeans. “If that’s true, then Fate would have no way of knowing that I would’ve been there to help you when things were ‘predicted’ in your dreams—things you couldn’t have anticipated because you didn’t dream anymore. Like when the bookshelf in the library almost fell on you. I stopped it because I knew your future.”
“And right after that the bookshelf fell on us anyway,” I whispered.
“Which had no reason to fall since I was holding it,” he said in a hard tone.
“But that was because the one behind it fell—” I started to say, but stopped at the “ah, now you see where this is going” look on his face. Feeling lightheaded, I continued, “I—I was supposed to be hit by those runaway pipes.”
Ethan looked solemn. “Since the accident woke me up, I didn’t know how bad you were hurt by the pipes, but I’d seen your future and made sure you were on the other side of the parking lot.”
“Where the light pole would’ve fallen on me if I hadn’t glanced at the raven flying away from it.” Everything he said made total sense. My stomach suddenly felt as if lead had been poured straight into it. “You think Fate’s never going to stop coming after me.”
“You told it last night at Jared’s that you weren’t going to stop, remember?”
I was referring to stopping Lainey’s car accident when I’d said that, but by blatantly challenging Fate a few hours later, I’d meant “everyone” then. I didn’t regret it though. Fate was bullying me, and I was fighting for Ethan, Lainey and anyone else Fate went after.
Ethan looked grim and worried. “I don’t think Fate will stop until you make it stop, Nara.”
Was last night in the shower a stronger warning? Could Fate have thrown me hard enough to kill me? Panic set in and I spread my trembling hands wide. “I couldn’t stop it before. Maybe this is my Fate.”
A determined look settled on Ethan’s face. “That’s the whole point. All of this feels unbalanced to me. I think Fate is messing with your destiny. It shouldn’t be able to alter your timeline. I think you can make Fate stop if your will is strong enough.”
“But how do I do that?” I felt powerless last night. Totally at Fate’s invisible mercy.
Ethan leaned f
orward and set his elbows on his knees. Steepling his fingers, he pressed them against his lips.
“How do I fight something I can’t see?” I finished in a helpless whisper.
Ethan lifted his head, eyes alight. “That’s it!”
“What? You have an idea?”
“Maybe. I have to check something first. You’re safe today. I didn’t see anything in your dreams. Can you meet me at your house?”
I was more worried about him. “You’re going straight home until then?”
When he nodded, my tension lessened a little. “I’ll come home right after practice,” I said, feeling excitement build at the idea of spending some time alone with him.
“Get back to your research.” Standing, Ethan slid the chair back under the table.
“You’re leaving me all tied in curious knots. I’m so not getting anything done now.”
Ethan ran his hand from the top of my head to the ends of my hair, then spoke in a calming voice next to my ear. “Feel better?”
As I watched him leave, I was curious what he planned to “check” but the fear was gone. Not only had he settled my sea-sawing emotions, but his touch had left me tingling all over. His power to sweep my worries away still amazed me, but Ethan had his own special ability to affect me that had nothing to do with him being a negative energy magnet.
Soccer practice was more interesting than usual. Miranda was the only one who spoke to Sophia the entire time. Everyone else took their annoyance out on her like they’d done to me not so long ago. Even Coach rode her incessantly, though he couldn’t possibly have known about Sophia and Jared hooking up at the party. Maybe there was something to that whole “what comes around, goes around” theory.
An hour into practice, Sophia was near tears. I almost felt sorry for her, until I caught her glaring at me. I glared back, then kicked the ball hard in her direction. The wind hadn’t let up all day and it seemed to increase the ball’s speed. Sophia had to dive to keep from being pegged in the face. I couldn’t help but snicker.
Brightest Kind of Darkness Page 25