by MV Kasi
Hacking into her phone had also enabled him to track her exact location. And in turn he had installed a simple app on his phone that displayed a small red dot on the map of the city. And currently, he knew the red dot would indicate that she was only a hundred feet away from him. But on the top floor.
He put the weights aside. And then, wiping the sweat off his face and neck, he grabbed his water bottle and workout bag before heading upstairs to the second level.
*****
It was relatively quiet when he approached the top of the stairs. All he could hear were the sounds of someone punching a heavy bag systematically.
Hate and obsession swirled within him, consuming every cell in his body as he got closer to his target.
He couldn't understand why he felt so overwhelmed.
He had the power. And he held all the cards. But when he went towards her, he felt out of control as his feelings intensified.
As soon as he reached the second floor, he saw her.
He couldn't see her face as she was turned the other way. But he knew how she looked. The high cheekbones, the gentle slope of her nose, the soft plump lips—he knew them all quite well. He knew every feature of her face because he had watched her for enough years to be able to even dream about her.
He had seen her face several times, first in the pictures, and then, in the videos. He had watched those blank eyes turn cold and hard over the years. He had watched the short, sleazy dresses she wore during her teens, became simple and classy dresses and suits.
One thing that had remained constant all through the years was that she had always looked untouchable.
But that didn't stop him from wanting what he craved. He had wanted to touch. Very badly. And it wasn't just to wrap his hands around her neck to end it all. He had dreamt of touching her in different ways. The kind that disturbed him immensely.
She was his beautiful monster, who had no idea how much of her presence existed in his own life.
Taking a deep breath, he slowly released it. And then took a deeper one. And then, another one. He continued taking deep breaths, until he could calm down, enough to slip into his normal self.
You are over-thinking this. She's just like any other woman. See her and talk to her. And then, get her out of your system to move on.
After that pep talk, he went closer to her. "Need help holding the bag still?" he asked, trying to draw her attention away from the punching bag.
She swung towards him, and almost broke his jaw as her response to his question. He found it mildly funny. Only because he supposed it was an apt response to a crazy obsessed stalker like him.
"Whoa, whoa, easy lady," he said with a self depreciating laugh.
He shook his head at the absurdity of the whole situation.
Harsha was right.
Despite a tragic incident in his childhood, there were people in is life who loved him. He had met with a good amount of success in his life too, so far. Then why the hell was he risking all of that for a girl who did something to him many, many years ago?
He knew he should leave. And he would, as soon as he was done fixing her phone that broke because he had startled her. He picked up the broken pieces of the phone and began fixing it immediately.
He realized hopelessly that he was doing it because he didn't want her getting a new one. Because getting a new one would mean not being able to keep a tab on her for another day or two. He wanted to get rid of his addiction, but he had to do it slowly. He couldn't completely cut her off immediately.
He continued working on the phone. And even with his head bent down, he could literally feel her heated gaze on him.
His body responded immediately.
"Like what you see?" he asked, and felt her stiffen immediately in front of him. He didn't know why he had taunted her.
Maybe because he was embarrassed. Despite his hate for her, she was still able to bring out some kind of raw, animalistic response from his body.
"I think I can fix my phone by myself," she stated coolly.
"I'm almost done. This is a newer model, so there are smaller parts that need to be placed in the right sequence. And besides, I caused you to drop it in the first place," he said.
"True. But you have already done enough damage. Maybe next time, you should stop and think before sneaking up on the gym members, especially this early in the morning."
Her icy, stern comeback finally drew his attention to her face. He hadn't wanted to look at her too closely in person. Mostly because he thought he would be disappointed with the indifferent look she would direct towards him.
Like he was nobody to her.
Like their lives hadn't intertwined in the most tragic way.
But she didn't look at him indifferently. Her intense gaze lit him on fire in a way he had never experienced before.
It took him a while to come out of his hate filled fog, and register what she looked like in person. And then, just like that, the time simply stopped as he held his breath.
The woman in front of him might be his worst nightmare, but she was wrapped in perfection. She was also more beautiful than he could ever imagine. Including his dreams.
The pictures and videos of her could not replicate the natural regal aura that was around her. Even in her workout clothes and with her face bare of any make-up, her beauty hit him like a punch.
It was a huge mistake to see her in person.
Even by just looking at her pictures and videos, he hadn't been able to manage to distance himself emotionally. And now, in person, up close, she simply took his breath away. He had never wanted to touch someone as much as he did at that moment.
Thoughts raced through his mind.
He thought about various consequences of his actions, along with various scenarios that could happen between them. He knew what was right and what was wrong. He also knew he should stay away. It was the right thing to do. And he had even promised himself.
But he just couldn't.
You hate her!
But I want her.
You need to forget about her!
I can't.
His rational mind warred with the madness.
And as usual, when it came to her...his madness won.
*****
The madness continued to rule him as he arranged more 'accidental' meetings. It continued as he met her 'accidentally' in front of his apartments, in the restaurant, and then, at his office.
He began tweaking her search results in her browser and put entries that suited him.
He hadn't known at that time that it wasn't just hate and unfulfilled desire driving him. There was something else into play.
Each time he met with her, everything stopped—the time, the ability to breathe normally, his whole world. And even though there was no emotion in her expression, and she was as cold as the arctic winter, she still had the ability to move him.
During one of his meetings with the Colonel, he confessed about meeting the girl who was responsible for his mother's death. The Colonel had sensed a friction between Harsha and him. And when the Colonel questioned him, he told him some of the truth.
"Are you sure it's hate that's making you obsess about that girl like this, Jay?" the Colonel asked.
"Yes. How can you think otherwise?" Ajay demanded. "Her lies ruined my life!"
The Colonel simply gave him a long meaningful look. "Hmm. I see. But you must also know that hating someone feels very similar to loving someone."
"What?" Ajay asked in disbelief.
"It does, Jay" the Colonel stated calmly. "I have hated a few people in my life, and I have also loved some. The feelings I had towards both sets of people were the same."
Ajay still held a look of disbelief. But the Colonel continued. "The symptoms of loving and hating someone are the same too," he said. "The stomach twists at the thought of them. The heart beats faster at the thought of them. They make you lose sleep and appetite at the thought of them. And during every interaction with them, you los
e control of your mind and body. You'd be so consumed by them that you cannot think of anything but them."
The Colonel looked at Ajay with an intent look. "Do you feel that way about her, Jay?"
Ajay didn't answer. He couldn't answer. He was shocked. Because whatever the Colonel had said was all true. He felt all those things towards Sia. But it had to be hate that was driving him. It just had to be. Because the other option was simply unacceptable.
He knew he needed to step out of the mess he was creating before she completely ruined him. He also knew that she had a serious agenda against the Naidu Estate and family that will blow up eventually.
His madness had to stop.
He didn't even know her. At least not in the way it actually mattered. All he knew was that Sia was a woman driven by a need for revenge. She was the kind who wouldn't care who got destroyed in the process.
And she'd destroy even him quite easily without batting an eyelid. She would stop at nothing to bring her retribution to an end.
He knew all of that, but it did not in any way reduce his fascination towards her.
Maybe because deep inside, he knew he couldn't blame her. She actually believed she was wronged.
The rational part of the mind didn't agree with his reasoning. It said that even if her cousin had done the things she had accused him of, it was her problem. Not his. He could only sympathize. The sensible thing for him to do was to end the association he had with her. He could disappear completely from her life.
If only he had his usual willpower when it came to her.
Harsha was worried more than before regarding where the obsession would lead. "What the hell are you doing, Jay?" Harsha raged at him for the first time.
Sia had just left their office building. Ajay was checking the app on his phone that showed that she was already in the parking lot and was driving away.
Harsha saw it and was even more pissed. "Are you mad, Jay? You told me recently that you weren't out to destroy her for a mistake she did when she was a small girl."
Not removing his eyes from the tracker, Ajay replied calmly. "That's still true."
"Then why was she here? I know it had something to do with you. You must have led her here."
Ajay didn't deny the fact.
"Where is this leading to, Jay? I have the right to know. Especially since you have involved our company into your personal revenge."
Ajay tore his eyes away from his mobile screen and looked at his best friend who had been more like a brother since childhood. "I like her," he said simply.
Harsha was stunned. "What?" he asked in disbelief.
Ajay shrugged, even though he knew he was oversimplifying it by telling Harsha that his feelings towards Sia was merely—like.
"You already know that I've met her a few times and spoken to her. And now, I happen to like her. I want to pursue her seriously."
The look of disbelief remained on Harsha's face. "Are you mad, Jay?" Harsha asked again. "She isn't some random beautiful chick you saw and developed a liking to. You know damn well it can never work out between the two of you."
"Why?" he asked calmly.
Harsha let out an unbelievable laugh. "Why? Because you spent more than a bloody decade trying to destroy her! And now, all of a sudden, you think those feelings are overshadowed by the liking you took to her?"
"Yes," he answered.
Harsha shook his head. "What makes you think she is the kind to reciprocate your feelings? I have watched you track her movements over the years. You know she isn't the kind to commit to anyone."
Ajay didn't comment or reply. Because Harsha spoke the truth when it came to Sia's interactions with other men in her life.
"Promise me something, Jay," said Harsha. "If she doesn't commit to you or want you around her, will you promise to let her go, and move on with your life?"
Ajay couldn't promise immediately. Because he knew Sia was the kind to have one night stands and move on with her life. But for some reason, he foolishly felt that she would be different with him. Maybe because he saw something in her eyes that made him feel like she felt connected to him as well.
And so he answered his friend. "Yes. I promise."
*****
He held true to his promise— by leaving her alone when she rejected him after she had invited him to her home on the pretext of some maintenance work, when there was none.
But after a couple of weeks, when she approached him at the club, and asked him to take her to his place for the night, he knew. He knew that he had both won and also lost the game with her.
Their coming together was mind blowing.
It was beyond what he had ever imagined.
And later, when he pulled her naked body close to his after the first round of passion, it struck him hard. "My god, I finally have her," he thought for the hundredth time since that evening.
He held her to him, gripping her hard and then inhaled sharply from the feel of her against him. She tried squirming away while feeding him some bullshit lines about having to leave early.
He could see it in her face that she felt as strongly about him as he did about her. He could also see that it scared her the same way as it scared him.
He didn't let her go.
He sat up on the bed, and brought his mouth closer, and began to move his lips along her arm, causing goosebumps in his wake. "Who said we are done?" he asked huskily. "We just got started."
Pulling away, she broke free. She gave him a few lame excuses about wanting to be clean and fled into his bathroom.
He wasn't upset. He grinned as a strange euphoria took over his body. He chased her inside. She was stunned and pissed. But the yearning inside her eyes drove him on.
As soon as he opened the shower door, she dug her nails into his arms and pulled him closer. "My turn to be on top," she said, challenging him further.
When it came to her, he was definitely up for any challenge.
Twisting their bodies, he placed his back against the bathroom tiles, with her legs wrapped around him. He joined their mouths and aligned their bodies together.
The water from the shower above trickled between their lips, making their kisses wetter. Soon, she positioned herself on top of him and willed him to move.
And move, he did. He thrust hard, making them both groan in ecstasy.
He didn't stop, even when he was driven insane at the feel and sounds of their slick bodies beating against each other, or even when he felt the heavy weight of her breasts bouncing against his face with each hard thrust.
Her moans echoed inside the small shower cubicle, and also inside his head as he took her like a savage primitive.
He couldn't help it. He had become insanely hungry for her. Not just for her body. He wanted to claim each and every part of her as his own. He wanted her to belong to him completely.
It was already happening. He could feel the connection strengthen between them. But she put up a fight.
After they had both climaxed, she pulled away from him and frowned. She also looked at him haughtily to intimidate him. But it didn't work. Amused, and also still wildly excited, he simply picked her and threw her on the bed.
It was a battle of wills, but they both ended up being the winners.
They had sex multiple times and in a lot of positions. He pushed her to the limits, until she begged him with her body to give her what she craved.
Much later that night, even as she lay exhausted on the bed, and even though he knew he should let her be, he still couldn't help but raise her leg slightly to push inside her from behind. The need to be a part of her, and bond them intimately, drove him that night.
He kissed behind her ear gently. "I know you must be tired. Are you hungry too? I can get you something to eat," he offered.
"No, don't leave. I'm not hungry," she moaned, her internal muscles clutching him. But her stomach rumbled audibly.
He laughed and groaned at the same time, and then gently pulled out of her. She whipped
around and held his arms with a death grip, pulling him closer. She didn't say the words, but she wanted him close to her.
He kissed her lips hard before gently pushing her hands away. "Just rest for a few minutes until I get us something to eat. You need food and energy." He smiled wickedly at her. "Only because I'm not done with you, yet. We'll eat, sleep and then pick it up again in the morning," he promised as he stood.
He quickly put together a few sandwiches. And then, when they finished eating and he cleared up, he made love to her both passionately and tenderly. He drove her and himself crazy. He was determined to show her that it wasn't simply animal sex driven by attraction between them. It was more.
And when she collapsed in exhaustion, he held her in his arms. He fell asleep that way, with his arms wrapped around her body. His mind finally at peace.
He was right where he belonged.
*****
But by the time he woke up the next day, she was gone.
She had ended their brief relationship—if he could even call it that—abruptly with an offhand letter. He was furious, and wanted to storm into her house, and demand an explanation.
But he remembered his promise to Harsha, and also to himself. But that promise didn't stop him from checking up on her multiple times.
Sia looked sad. She looked devastated too. Or so he thought. Because two days later, she spent the night in another man's house.
He went insane. His mind filled up with unholy thoughts that took away his peace of mind.
Was she letting that man touch her the way she had let me?
Was that man worshipping the body that belongs to me?
He couldn't function with such thoughts.
"What have I become?" he wondered
He had turned into a crazed psychotic stalker.
He knew it. But he still waited outside the man's house, until Sia came out a couple of hours later, along with a tall man.
He noticed that Sia and the man barely touched. In fact they stood a couple of feet away from each other. Not something typical lovers did after spending the night together.