Uschi Returns

  Uschi stood and peeled off her T-shirt again, grinning invitingly, the titties in question bouncing and cavorting in playful nude expectation.

  Roger dropped the plates in the sink and reached for his belt. The washing-up could wait.

  Chapter Three

  ‘Ladies, I’d like you to meet Uschi.’ Nina addressed the customer support team gathered in the conference room, gesturing with a smile to Uschi, dressed in a smart grey skirt and jacket over a pink silk blouse and seated cross-legged next to Roger by a plastic whiteboard in the corner. The girls were regarding her with curiosity.

  ‘Uschi is a consultant whom Roger has hired to help you develop even better relationships with our customers, to break down some of those barriers. It can be a little awkward and embarrassing discussing something as intimate and personal as breasts with complete strangers. And perhaps for some of you, it can even be difficult to open up about the subject to Roger. But, breasts are our business, and we need to be completely at ease with the subject internally as well as externally. So Uschi is going to run regular group sessions and one-on-ones on the subject, and also get involved with customer calls and generally help out. Uschi, Roger, does that about sum it up?’

  ‘I couldn’t have put it better myself, Nina,’ laughed Uschi genially.

  ‘Very well, I shall leave you all to it, then,’ grinned Nina, and exited the room to get back to running the company.

  Uschi stood and regarded Jemima, Sophie, Louise, and Imogen, seated in a semicircle on plastic chairs, notepads and biros on laps. ‘Pleased to meet you, ladies. Roger has told me a little about you, but I’d like you to introduce yourselves, your name and your bra size.’

  ‘Bra size?’ echoed Imogen, eyebrow raised.

  ‘It’s the first step to opening up,’ said Uschi with a wink. She shrugged off her jacket and popped the plastic lid from a whiteboard marker. ‘I’ll start. Uschi Dorster, 34E.’ She wrote it at the top of the whiteboard. ‘Now you, go ahead.’

  ‘Ummm, Imogen Batchelor, 28L. Does Roger have to be here while we do this?’

  Roger cleared his throat and looked at the floor.

  Uschi wrote Imogen’s name and mind-boggling measurements on the board under her own. ‘Because he’s your manager?’

  ‘Because he’s a man.’

  ‘Come come, Imogen darling,’ purred Uschi, turning to face the busty curly-haired beanpole. ‘You heard what Nina said. We are here to break down social and sexual barriers, not to erect them. There are erections of this kind in your workplace. And it’s because of bosoms. Where you find bosoms, I can guarantee you will always find erections.’

  A puerile snigger went around the room.

  ‘Next?’

  ‘Louise Bourne. 32F.’

  Uschi scribbled. ‘How simply marvellous, lovely to meet you, Louise. Next?’

  ‘Sophie Dolby. 36G.’ Sophie glanced with a rather red face at Roger, who looked quickly away.

  ‘Mmmm, so many ripe, juicy pairs of boobs in the room,’ Uschi winked over her shoulder. ‘And lastly?’

  ‘Jemima Carlton. 32E.’ Jemima beamed, the only one of the girls not especially bothered by the exercise.

  ‘A fellow E-cup. Snap!’ Uschi chuckled, adding Jemima to the end of her list. She put the lid back on the marker and stood back to survey the busty data. ‘My, my. You certainly are all exceedingly well qualified. Now, to begin with, we’re going to play a little game. I’d like each of you to come up with two words to describe your boobs, beginning with the letter of your cup size. The first should be a word you would use, the second should be a word someone else has used. Sophie, let’s start with you.’

  Sophie reflected. ‘I just think of mine as… gigantic.’

  ‘Gigantic,’ Uschi gleamed, ‘Yes, very good, they certainly are gigantic, and no shame whatsoever in that, you lucky, busty girl! And a word someone else has used?’

  ‘Um, my boyfriend says they’re gorgeous.’

  Uschi opened the marker again and wrote the words next to Sophie’s bra size. ‘Gigantic and gorgeous G-cups, wonderful. Louise, two words beginning with F please?’

  Louise looked down her blue blouse for inspiration. ‘Feminine?’

  ‘Very much so. So youthful and curvaceous. And another?’

  A coy smile passed Louise’s lips. ‘The first thing boys say when they see them naked is “Fuck”.’

  Uschi cackled and wrote the two words down. ‘How delicious! But we need an adjective. Fuckable?’

  Roger looked up sharply, but the girls seemed largely unfazed by Uschi’s sudden detour into the fully X-rated.

  ‘I guess so,’ said Louise. ‘But wouldn’t that describe me in general?’

  The other girls laughed drily at Louise’s vanity.

  ‘Breasts can be fuckable,’ insisted Uschi. ‘Oh come on, you all must know what I mean.’

  The girls’ sheepish silence spoke volumes. Roger couldn’t believe that Uschi was getting away with this.

  ‘Jemima, two E-cup adjectives please.’

  ‘I would describe mine as…. elastic. Because they’re so bouncy.’ She bounced a little in her chair, letting her bust leap up and down a few times within her patterned dress.

  ‘Lovely elastic Jemima,’ Uschi said, writing. ‘And your second word?’

  ‘Um, erotic?’

  ‘Erotic! I love it. Very good, Jemima, very good. Now, finally, all the way up the alphabet to Imogen. Imogen, two words to describe those lovely L-cups of yours. Oops, I’ve found one already!’

  ‘Large,’ said Imogen coldly, not laughing with the others. ‘That’s how I think of them.’

  ‘They most certainly are large,’ said Uschi lasciviously as she wrote the word on the board next to Imogen’s bra size. ‘And your other L-word? A word someone else has used to describe them?’

  Imogen thought for a moment. ‘Luxurious,’ she said finally, the tiniest hint of a smile on the corner of her thin lips. Roger almost perceived a glint of fond nostalgia in her eye.

  ‘Luxurious,’ Uschi rolled the syllables around in her Bavarian accent as she wrote the word in marker on the whiteboard.

  She turned to Roger. ‘Your turn, Roger.’

  The girls giggled.

  Roger looked at Uschi in mild confusion. ‘Me? But I don’t wear a… a…’

  Uschi rolled her eyes. ‘I mean I’d like you to come up with a word for each woman’ bust.’

  The giggling ceased abruptly.

  Roger felt his mouth go dry.

  ‘Go on, Roger,’ Uschi said. ‘Start with Imogen. And we need a new word, one that hasn’t been used before.’

  Roger looked at Imogen’s bountiful bosom, so enormous in her tight brown top. His eyes met her steely gaze. He was so well-practised in undetected stolen glances that to stare directly in such plain sight felt very strange indeed. In his mind he went through the alphabet of words he could use to describe Imogen’s tits. Abundant, bouncy, cuddly, dense, enticing, full, globular, huge, inviting, juicy, kneadable…

  ‘Luscious,’ he said aloud. It was the first and only word that came into his head.

  Imogen frowned and looked away.

  Ignoring the hush of sexual tension that was descending upon the conference room, Uschi pressed on. ‘Very good, Roger. Now how would you describe Louise’s F-cups? Louise darling, sit up straight and let Roger get a good look at them.’

  Louise complied rather stiffly, arching her back to let her breasts prod rudely at the pale blue cotton of her blouse, an act that made her bosom appear to double in size. Like Imogen, she looked away while Roger’s faze fell upon her fuckable femininity.

  ‘What comes to mind, Roger?’

  What came to mind was a barely-controllable desire to rip the young blonde’s blouse off, first to establish whether or not she was wearing a bra, and secondly to plunge his dick into her cleavage and thrust in and out for as long as he could before he erupted in her face.

  ‘Go ahead and have a feel of them, Roger,’ said Usch
i brazenly.

  Louise looked as alarmed as one might expect. ‘Now, really, I’m sure that’s not…’

  ‘That won’t be necessary,’ Roger hastened, to put Louise’s mind at ease and to slow Uschi down a little. ‘Firm.’

  ‘Firm?’ Uschi stood ready with the marker.

  ‘Yes,’ said Roger, ‘That’s the word beginning with F that I would use to describe Louise’s b-br… her b-breasts.’ He found he had trouble saying the word out loud in the situation.

  ‘Breasts, Roger,’ said Uschi. ‘Say it confidently. Breasts.’

  ‘Breasts.’

  ‘Boobs, Roger. Say boobs.’

  ‘Boobs.’

  ‘Very good. So, you would describe Louise’s boobs as firm, would you? Louise, would you agree with that? I would consider it no more than a guess on Roger’s part, as it is difficult to ascertain the firmness or softness of breasts without really feeling them.’

  Louise looked down at her chest again. ‘Well, they’re hardly rock-solid,’ she said. ‘They’re quite squeezy and bouncy. But they do sort of stay up like this without a bra.’

  ‘Are you wearing a bra at the moment, Louise?’ Uschi stopped to give Louise’s pert F-cup chest a second look of reappraisal.

  Louise shook her head, and her bosom shook gently from side to side in confirmation. ‘Just a cotton vest.’

  ‘I take that back, then,’ purred Uschi, eyes glinting with new interest in Louise’s breasts. ‘They must be exceptionally firm to be so beautifully self-supporting. And they must look utterly stunning naked!’

  ‘Really, I wouldn’t know,’ said Louise demurely.

  ‘So, Roger, take a good look at Jemima’s erotic, elastic E-cups and give us another word to describe them.’

  Jemima obligingly repositioned her chair to give Roger a better view and smiled innocently as she pushed out her attractive bosom for her manager’s inspection. So accommodating was her manner, and so eager her desire to impress that he had the feeling she would have gladly stripped topless there and then.

  Adjectives beginning with E flooded Roger’s mind as he let the sight of Jemima’s chest sink in. Elegant. Effervescent. Eminently enjoyable. Exceptionally eye-catching. Extraordinarily exuberant.

  ‘Exquisite,’ he said.

  ‘What a charmer,’ said Imogen coldly.

  ‘And finally, Roger, a word to describe Sophie’s gorgeous, gigantic G-cup globes.’

  ‘Glorious,’ said Roger a little too quickly. Sophie blushed, which caused Roger to redden in turn.

  Uschi wrote the apt description down on the whiteboard along with the others. She popped the cap back on the marker. ‘Let’s take a fifteen minute break, ladies and gentleman.’

  Louise, Imogen, Sophie and Jemima hurried from the room in a hubbub of quiet chatter, collectively avoiding eye contact with Roger as they went.

  ‘How do you think it’s going?’ asked Uschi, walking slowly over to where Roger sat hunched over his boner.

  ‘Remember what we said, Uschi,’ said Roger. ‘Let’s try to stop it getting too… horny.’

  ‘Don’t kid yourself, Roger,’ Uschi said with a sly grin. ‘You love it when anything gets too horny. You must be quite stiff now, am I correct?’

  Roger nodded, fixing Uschi with a stern glare.

  ‘Do you need to cum now? Or shall we wait until later?’

  ‘We can hardly do it here, can we Uschi.’

  Uschi, begging it seemed to differ, began to shimmy her heavy breasts slowly. Roger recognised the bra she was wearing, faintly visible through her pink blouse. It was a pointlessly unsupportive lace number whose elasticated shoulder straps rendered her bosom if anything more bouncy than it was nude. ‘The girls won’t be back for fifteen minutes. I could just keep shaking my tits until you unload in your underpants? Hmm?’ Her pink lips plumped up into an inquisitive pout.

  Roger, as usual, found his critical faculties curtailed straight away by the sight of Uschi’s proud, wobbling chest, boner-inducing curves so evident through pink silk and cream lace. An observer who knew what to look for would have even detected the gentle swells of her full German areolae outlined through the fabric. Roger tried not to strip her topless in his mind’s eye, without success. All he could picture was Uschi’s bare breasts, decorated in scattergun scribbles of cum. ‘You’re going to push me over the edge, Uschi.’

  ‘I know, darling, that’s the point. Just concentrate on my boobs and let nature take its course.’

  To and fro Uschi’s perfectly formed 34E’s danced, this way and that, a jiggle to the right, a jiggle to the left, a bouncy collision in the centre, the occasional glimpse of olive-tanned cleavage surging up into view as the orbs of soft flesh compressed against one another. Roger’s mouth fell slightly open as his pupils darted from tit to tit, his gaze locked onto their rhythmic figure-of-eight paths. Though Roger had now seen Uschi nude often enough for the marvels of her chest to have been theoretically demystified, for some reason every time the German beauty covered her breasts up his fascination with them and compulsion to remind himself what they looked like naked seemed to reset itself, the pursuit starting all over again from scratch.

  Roger was by now rock hard and his balls aching for release. ‘It’s happening, Uschi,’ he gasped. ‘I’m going to unload in my trousers.’

  ‘Goooood, Roger,’ breathed Uschi. ‘Very good. Let it all out.’

  Just as Roger was on the brink of flooding his Y-fronts with a tidal wave of semen, the door opened on the other side of the room. It was Nina.

  ‘Thought I’d drop in and see how the session has been going?’ Nina said, strolling across to where Uschi was now discreetly adjusting her blouse in order to stop the momentous motion of her bosom in its tracks.

  Roger’s cock froze, and the surge of pleasure that had been approaching with such seemingly unstoppable force reversed agonisingly, leaving him cruelly denied the orgasm Uschi’s breasts had been invoking within his cock and balls. He sat there, heart pounding, hoping his face didn’t look too purple.

  ‘I think it’s going very well, Nina,’ said Uschi. ‘There’s still a long way to go breaking down these psychosexual barriers that exist in the team, but we’ve made a good start.’

  Nina’s eye was drawn to the writing on the whiteboard next to Roger. ‘Feminine, fuckable, firm,’ she read aloud. Roger wondered what she would make of that. It really could go either way. Nina was undeniably a very sexual woman, highly attuned to the potent erotic powers of large breasts, her own large breasts in particular. But she was also a savvy, sensible businesswoman, and Uschi was already straying close to the borders of what might be considered acceptable workplace practice. ‘Blue sky thinking?’ Nina said.

  ‘No bad ideas in brainstorming,’ said Uschi. ‘Just a quick word game to get the group thinking about their relationships to their own breasts and how they are perceived by others.’

  Nina nodded slowly as she read. A pensive smile spread across her lips. ‘I wonder what words I’d use to describe my J-cups.’

  ‘English is my second language,’ said Uschi. ‘Roger, any ideas?’

  Roger’s stalled orgasm boiled in his loin. ‘Ummm,’ he said, his voice cracking. ‘Jutting?’

  ‘Roger!’ exclaimed Nina in amused mock-annoyance.

  By now, Roger’s sense of propriety was losing the battle against his horny lust for tit. ‘Jiggly,’ he went on. ‘Jouncy. Jostling.’

  ‘I had no idea I had such a relentlessly mobile bust!’ laughed Nina. And to Roger’s tortured delight she rocked her feet in her high heels and let her body hop gently up and down on the spot. Her jutting J’s jellied, jounced, and jostled in her blazer, forcing the button open to reveal a pinstripe fitted blouse, stress lines radiating from her jubilant jugs as they jumped and jellied within it.

  Roger’s cock responded by stiffening and striving for freedom. It pushed its way up under the waistband of his suit trousers until its swollen head slid, slick with pre-cum, up against his stomach. No
t for the first time was Roger glad of the fact he was wearing a tie broad enough to hide this bulging activity under his shirt. Curse this enormous cock of his!

  Nina stopped her hopping but her bust continued, up, down, up, down, powered by its considerable inertia. ‘I suppose there’s a limit to the number of adjectives beginning with J,’ she chuckled. ‘But I can’t deny that those words are very apt.’

  ‘They must be wonderfully bouncy outside of a bra,’ said Uschi, glancing at Roger where he sat doing his best to look casual while his boner crept up beneath his shirt. Was she really going to keep this going? Make him cum in front of his boss? ‘May I?’ Without really waiting for a response, Uschi reached out with her hands and placed them on the pinstriped sides of Nina’s huge chest. She tested their weight, then slid her hands underneath the shelf of tit and let those magnificent breasts bounce ponderously up and down on her palms.

  ‘Um, yes,’ said Nina, trying not to look too flustered by the boob-consultant’s hands-on manner. ‘When I take off the bra they do bounce a rather alarming amount. It’s because they stick out so far ahead of me. If they hung lower, more pendulously, they’d sway from side to side, but it’s more up and down with bosoms like these.

  ‘Mine are all over the place,’ laughed Uschi. She lifted Nina’s chest as high as it would go and then dropped it very suddenly, setting off that endless vertical bounce. Then, quickly, as though spinning plates, Uschi began to hop and gyrate on the spot herself, causing her own chest to wobble with aimless abandon. ‘See what I mean?’ she said with a dirty chuckle. ‘Here, if I unfasten a couple of buttons they go really crazy without the tightness of the blouse to hold them in place.’ She flipped open a couple of buttons and sure enough the bouncy jiggling increased in energy in all directions.

  Roger couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Uschi had coerced his enormous-bosomed boss into joining her in a voluptuous shimmy-show for his private pleasure. He was certain he was going to cum there and then, but Nina cleared her throat and came to her senses, perhaps feeling that enough was enough.