I stopped walking and faced him. “I want to know how you feel about me because I like you. I want to know if anything is ever going to happen between us. Or if I should just focus on getting through this school year the same way I’ve gotten through every other year. I want—”
My pleas were cut off by his mouth crashing against mine. He didn’t hesitate but poured all the emotions that had been growing between us over these last few months into that kiss.
I kissed him back trying to show him that I felt the same—that I wanted him.
When we broke apart, I smiled. “You keep kissing me on the side of the road, and I’m going to get a complex.”
“What if I took you on a date and kissed you on your front porch? We could do things properly.” Typical Chase, I thought. “I could take you to your favorite restaurant, buy you dessert. When we were done, I could walk you to your front door and try to steal a kiss. Your dad would be waiting for me, of course.”
“Would he chase you off?”
“He might, but I would ask you out again, and again and again. Eventually, he’d get tired of waiting on the other side of the door, and I could kiss you for real.”
I shook my head. “That seems like a lot of trouble for a kiss.”
“It would be worth it though. You’re amazing, Nicole.”
“Does that mean I have to wait until we’ve been dating for months before I kiss you again?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I intend on sneaking sidewalk kisses every chance I get.” And he took that opportunity to kiss me again.
We eventually started running again, but we never got very far before Chase would come up with an excuse to stop. Bug in his eye, stick in his shoe, once he thought he heard a hurt animal in the bushes. Each time, he was full of it. And each time, he stole another kiss from me. Not that I minded of course.
By the time we made it back to campus, the parking lot was empty except for mine and Chase’s vehicles. Mine had a piece of paper tucked under the windshield wiper. In Amy’s familiar handwriting was a note:
You’d better call me!!!!
Epilogue
Coach had reserved the meeting room in a local restaurant for the awards banquet at the end of the season.
As expected, my times had slipped during my injury, and I had a hard time getting my 5k time back down again. Of course, it didn’t help that the assistant coach kept finding excuses to have me “talk” to him during practice.
As we wrapped up our season, the female varsity fell into a set order.
Cassidy was the top female runner with Victoria right behind her. That put me third, and surprisingly Amy in fourth. She’d been kicking some major butt this season—slowly but surely rising in the ranks. I waited for the meet that would have her finishing before me, but it never came. Whether it was because she couldn’t push herself anymore, or didn’t want to, I couldn’t be sure.
The four of us and most of the guys from the varsity team made it all the way to State. Cassidy placed in the top twenty, leaving the rest of the Rosemark Mountaineers in her dust. Everyone thought Neal was also going to place high, but he came down with a bad case of mono which was going around the junior class. I felt bad for whatever girl he was involved with now, but reveled in seeing him get a small bit of what he deserved.
My parents had started coming to my meets. They were perfect little cheerleaders, although part of me suspected they came to keep an eye out on Neal, even though they knew Chase and I were dating.
“And the award for Most Improved Female Runner is…” Everyone slapped their hands on the tables making a drumroll for Coach as he announced the winners of the different cross-country trophies. “Amy Ferrera!”
Everyone cheered as she walked up to receive her trophy from Coach. It was decked out in ugly orange and green, with a little gold runner on top.
“And award for Most Valuable Female Runner is…” Again, everyone slapped the tabletops until Coach was satisfied we were excited enough. “Cassidy Whitman!”
And just like before, everyone cheered. Cassidy’s parents made her pose as she took the trophy from our coach. She smiled compliantly, even when they made her stand in different poses. And I swore I saw Coach roll his eyes at all the attention.
In the same manner, Coach called out the most improved and most valuable male runners. Even with his failed State run, Neal was awarded the trophy for top runner. Part of me felt like I should be upset, but I just didn’t care anymore.
Chase grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You doing okay, Nic?” I never tired of hearing that nickname from his mouth.
I smiled. “Yeah, I really am.”
“What’s going on with you tonight? You haven’t been able to take that goofy grin off your face the entire evening. I thought it was because of the awards, but even after losing—Ouch!” He rubbed his arm where I punched him. “You still are smiling like you won the lottery.”
“I was just thinking about college.”
“And?”
“How serious were you when you said you wanted me to go UC Boulder?”
We’d been going back and forth about where I was going to go after graduation. My goal had been to leave Colorado for so long, I had been surprised by how appealing some of the local schools were. Chase never pushed me to apply to the college he attended, even though I knew he wanted to be with him next year.
“You know I want to keep you close.”
“I applied to UC Boulder.”
Chase’s legs hit the bottom of the table as he jerked in excitement. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, giving me a kiss on the cheek. “That’s so great!”
“I haven’t been accepted yet,” I reminded him. But I knew even applying to a school in Colorado would be considered a win in Chase’s book.
“You will be.”
“I —” Something hit my arm. I looked up just in time to get hit again. “What was that?”
Chase tipped his head to our neighboring table. Amy sat straight in her seat, her arms innocently resting on the table. “I think we’re getting attacked.”
“By food?”
He nodded and looked down at his plate where several uneaten fries sat. My face lit up as I snatched them off his plate and threw them in Amy’s direction. She tried to duck, but I hit her cheek anyway. Staring at me, she used two fingers to point at her eyes and then pointed at me. I laughed, but quickly tried to hide behind Chase when I saw Amy reaching for the sugar packets on her table.
Before long, everyone was throwing fries, and any other food they could find, at everyone else.
It was the most fun I’d had in a long time. People started hiding under the tables dodging the assault coming from all directions. The sound of laughter came from all around the room—everywhere except the corner where Victoria sat using her menu as a shield. She shrieked about how horrible we all were, and how we couldn’t take anything seriously.
Eventually, the food fight died down, and Coach refused to let us leave until every last crumb was picked up off the ground. I was convinced we left the meeting room cleaner than when we arrived. But it was worth it.
When we were finally released, my parents agreed to let Chase drive me home.
“I still can’t believe you’re going to go to UC Boulder with me next year,” Chase mused as he took the long way back to the drive.
“Maybe,” I reminded him.
“Oh, whatever. You’re getting so much Buffaloes gear for Christmas just so you can’t back out.”
I laughed from the passenger seat, turning up the heater. “You think you’re so smart.”
“Not always. But I’m glad you love me anyway.”
And I did love him. Not only for the amazing guy he was but for how he’d helped me find happiness where I was. I’d thought for so long that I would have to leave Marlowe Junction to find who I was. But it had just taken one stubborn—and completely gorgeous—guy to help nudge me in the right direction.
Whi
ch had surprisingly been here all along.
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THANK YOU!
And keep reading for a peek at All The Things We Lost, the first in my River Valley: Lost & Found series.
Acknowledgments
I can’t believe I’ve finished another book. This one was a beast, but I have so much to be thankful for.
God is always first. Without Him, none of this would be possible.
My husband and kids for being so supportive when mommy just needed to lock herself in her room to write.
A and J. GUYS! We did it. Thanks for answering the same question twenty times. And then ten more…. I’ve so enjoyed putting this series together with you. Can’t wait to see what we do next!
Robin, thank you for fixing all my typos. I obviously miss a lot!
Emily and Luke, y’all are the best cover models, even if we can’t see your face or poppin’ calves. I guess that’s what happens when you’re getting in trouble for trespassing. Whoops!!!
All to all my awesome readers who are still here with me. THANK YOU! Without you, I’d just be a crazy lady putting words to paper. You make me an author. (Which is still so weird to say)
Let’s Keep in Touch
Kayla has loved to read as long as she can remember. While she started out reading spooky stories that had her hiding under her covers, she now prefers stories with a bit more kissing.
When she gets a chance to watch TV, she enjoys cheesy sci-fi and superhero shows.
Find me online:
www.tirrellblewrites.com
[email protected]
Also by Kayla Tirrell
River Valley Lost & Found:
All The Things We Lost
All The Things We Found
All The Things We Were
Collection of Sweet Shorts:
Home For Christmas
Children’s Chapter Book:
Help! My Parents Are Zombies!
All The Things We Lost Preview
Chapter 1
Katie
I was so effing tired of casseroles.
A month before, I had buried my mom, something I didn't think I would be doing at the age of eighteen. Something I didn't think anyone should be doing at such a young age.
I'd been living alone in my home since then, only surfacing when necessary.
In fact, I was spending my afternoon the way I normally did these days, watching television curled up in one of my grandmother’s quilts, when I heard a knock on the front door. Stretching unused muscles, I got up off the couch, or what was my bed these days. I knew who was outside, and that she wouldn’t give up easily.
Better to get it over with than trying to play possum.
As soon as I opened the door, my gaze went to the pan in my grandma’s hands. It was rectangular, covered with foil, and obviously another lasagna.
The parents of some of my high school friends, along with my grandmother's friends, made sure I had an endless supply of food. I was grateful, truly I was, but I wasn't sure if I could stomach another pan of lasagna.
I sighed and looked up. "Hey, grandma."
She looked at me with an understanding smile on her face. "I know, honey, I'm sick of them too. But Loretta insisted I bring it."
I grabbed the container and invited her in, before going straight for the kitchen. I shuffled the leftovers that already filled my refrigerator to make space for the new addition.
"You look like hell," my grandma said as soon as I finished the task.
"Language!" I gasped, scandalized. This woman had scolded me for saying words like dumb or idiot for as long as I could remember—to her, hell was a four-letter word.
"Well, desperate times, my dear," she replied, unfazed.
I looked at her through narrowed eyes as I tried to formulate a reply.
My grandma was beautiful. She wore her hair long and its color was the perfect shade of white. No stubborn pieces struggled to hold on to their original color, giving her a uniform shade that almost looked fake. She always wore it over one shoulder in a ponytail or braid.
She was beautiful, but she was tired. The loss of her daughter had taken a toll on her the past few weeks. That was clear. My grandma still looked amazing for a woman in her seventies, but the bags under her eyes were more prominent. Her skin lacked the usual luster I was used to seeing.
"Well, that's still not very nice, Grandmother,” I finally said, lashing out and emphasizing the title I rarely used.
"When was the last time you showered, Granddaughter?" she countered, crossing her arms over her chest and raising one brow at me.
I took a whiff of my underarms and crinkled my nose at the smell.
"It's not just the smell either. I never see you wearing anything besides pajamas or leggings. When was the last time you left the house?"
"I'm not ready."
“You’re not ready,” she huffed. “Do you have any idea what this does to me? To lose my daughter and then watch my granddaughter wasting away?"
"Grandma, I’m—”
"I know you're grieving, honey,” she interrupted. "And I've tried to give you your space, but I think a change of scenery might help."
"What do you mean?"
"I called your dad, and he's offered to have you come stay with him for a while."
"My dad?" I asked, confused. “Why would you call him?"
"I just thought you might want to see him since he's the only parent you have. He wants to see you."
I snorted. I couldn't help it. This was the man who had basically ignored me for the last five years. Now he wanted to see me? “Why would I fly all the way across the country to see him? I have a life here."
It was my grandma's turn to snort in disbelief.
I shot her a look. "Fine. But I can't just leave you, or the house. Who would take care of things?"
"Hmm, let me think. Probably the same people who do now. Don't act like you haven't noticed it's Papa out there mowing the lawn every week, or that the kitchen is always clean.”
Another deep sigh escaped my lips. She was right. I hadn't done a single thing around the house. And, yes, I had heard the mower outside the window. I had listened to my grandma washing dishes in the kitchen whenever she came over.
I couldn't answer as a flood of shame came over me. I couldn't even look at her.
"Oh, Katie,” my grandmother said, her voice softer. "I know you're hurting. It does me and Papa good to have someone to take care of. But, your mother, she wouldn't want to see you like this."
"I know, Grandma. But to just get up and leave? Just like that?”
"Why not? Your Papa and I will be just fine. We have our friends, and the church has been taking excellent care of us."
"But–"
"And," she continued, not giving me a chance to argue, "you're taking this year off. Why not spend some time out West? Enjoy the fresh air and wide, open spaces."
I wasn’t so easily convinced and stood there lost in thought. This all seemed so sudden.When I didn’t respond, my grandma continued.
"Katie, your mom's house is yours now. It's not going anywhere. If it's awful out there, you come back home, and we'll figure something else out. But I think you should try it."
The two of us spent quite a bit of time going back and forth, but in the end, she won.
My grandmother always won.
A week later, I found myself flying thousands of miles across the country to a small town in Idaho. I spent the flight trying not to relive the events of the last few months. Unfortunately, it was the only thing I thought of anymore.
About halfway through my senior year of high school, my mom was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer. She had expected me to continue as if nothing had changed, but everything had changed. I stopped playing soccer just to spend extra time wit
h her. I did the bare minimum required to pass my classes the last semester of high school to help more around the house.
I had been used to my mom doing everything for me. In those final months together, I learned just how much she did and just how little I was capable of taking care of myself.
She had to pack as much real life education into my life as possible with the remaining time we had together. The proper way to wash whites, how to fold a fitted sheet—that skill still eluded me. General maintenance around the house, how to cook. I had no idea there was so much to learn.
When she died, I was left living in the house she willed to me. I was essentially set, but my life felt like a hot mess.
My friends were getting ready to leave for college, and I was taking an unwanted gap year.
The thing was, I had wanted to go to college—had really wanted to go. I'd even been accepted into my dream school. I had the grades, extracurriculars and community service that made me a well-rounded asset to almost any school. I even knew what I wanted to get my degree in while so many of my friends were undecided.
It was strange to think how much my life had changed in such a short amount of time.
Before I knew it, my stomach lurched with the plane’s final descent. For better or worse, I was back in River Valley.
It was surprising how quickly the time had passed considering I was currently on a major social media sabbatical. I hadn’t even brought my phone with me. There was no point. My Facebook was deactivated. Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat were all deleted from my phone.
I hardly saw the point of having it in my pocket at all times since my relationships were so different now.
Oh, my friends scrunched up their faces in a show of pity and told me how sorry they were. Some let me cry my eyes out, but only so many times. No one wanted to deal with depressed Katie Lynch and her dead mom.
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