Just like that, my words became shouts, my shouts became screams, my screams became sobs. And I hadn't planned any of it. I had just wanted to ask her a simple question. Thought I was just mildly curious. I hadn't even realized she offended me. Then all of this just heaved out of me. And I must have tripped in the process, because I was on my knees bawling, hurting with every breath.
“Wes,” I heard Stell say, her voice quivering. But I couldn't see her. Everything had gotten too blurry and wet. Must have been the blasted mist.
“How can you tell?” I heaved. God, breathing hurt so much right now.
Everything hurt so much.
“How can you tell?” I asked again. I couldn't stop. “How can you tell?”
“Wes, I can tell,” Stell replied. My vision cleared a little. I realized I had made her cry again. “I can tell, Wes. Please listen.”
She was standing over me. Her tear-stained eyes were begging me to look at her. And my ears were begging for an answer, so I turned to her. I had no idea how I must have looked right then. All I knew was my chest was still heaving and that it hurt so very badly.
“I've tried to tell you, Wes. I told you about your Deeds and I know you're not impressed with them. So I won't argue with you about that anymore. So I'll share a secret about me, and I'll just hope you won't tell anyone.”
She knelt down next to me. When I started watching her face, she closed her eyes and hummed for a second. Her hair started to wave slightly behind her, even though there was no wind right now.
When she opened her eyes again, they were gray. Her ears had turned gray as well, and become sleeker, and slightly pointed.
“Choosing people to become Challengers isn't a job my race used to have,” she said quietly. I was too mesmerized to interrupt, so she kept talking. “I don't know the whole story behind it. Maybe other Star-sown used to. But I do know that we were given the responsibility by someone else, because of what we can see and hear from other races of people. When I see a person do something, Wes, I see that action... talk to them. And that person always talks back, without realizing it. They hold a conversation with their actions that no one else can see. It's not detailed, usually only one or two words that they say to each other back and forth, like their deeds and soul are agreeing with each other, or striving to do something. My ears hear it coming from the person,” She pointed to her two elf-like ears peeking out from her hair. They fluttered slightly. “And my eyes see the words written over the person.”
She pointed to her gray pupils.
“Legends say that's why we were given the responsibility to anoint Challengers. I don't know who gave it to us. All I know is that we didn't appoint any Challengers until after almost a hundred generations of us.”
“As soon as you came to Avalon, as soon as you accepted my request for help, something in you started talking with every step. When I invoked my power and called up your Deeds from Earth, I was able to see even more of the conversation your soul has with its surroundings. I can still see the results of the conversation you had with your actions even when you were in the Woadlands, Wes. Even when I wasn't there. Based on your actions, Wes, I've heard your heart and flesh cry out two things. Do you know what they are?”
“No,” my voice was still hoarse. “What are they?”
She gave me a level gaze as she answered.
“Protect. Prevail.”
Something inside my chest twitched when she said those words. I flinched as if I had heard someone call for me.
“Protect, and Prevail,” She repeated, and for some reason I flinched again. She looked at me and nodded, like something had failed to surprise her.
“That's what you emanate, Wes,” she continued. “That's the conversation you have with yourself when you think no one is looking. That's the obsession you have that leaks out when a Starsown watches or listens to you. You cry out inside to do those two things the most, and you cry out even more for something, or someone, to show you how to do those two things better. That's how I know you're okay, Wes. You can lie to yourself about your desires all day, you can even ignore what everyone else here sees in you. But as long as you walk and talk and do things you enjoy, you'll never hide who you are, and what you really want to be, from me or any other Starsown you come across.”
“That's impossible,” I muttered dumbly.
“No it's not,” she retorted calmly. “And it's far less impossible than you coming to another world, and rescuing someone from an evil pit of despair, and blowing that same pit apart with lightning magic that normally doesn't work that way.”
“And Wes?” Stell continued. “That's the other thing about your planet. Even though all sorts of messed-up things happen, heroes always emerge. Always. No matter when I look, there's always over a hundred people on your planet standing up to some local tyrant or helping someone oppressed that they don't owe anything to. And they almost never get noticed. You're the most misrepresented one I've heard of, so much it surprised and outraged me, but you're not the first to not get enough credit. That's unique to your home, too Wes. If people on all my worlds stood up to evil the way some of you on Earth did, I'd never need to create Challengers. But I do, and even with all of your planet's other problems, I've always found the best champions come from Earth. And I've never been wrong about a single Challenger, Wes. I hope I can convince you,” she finished. “That you can at least trust my judgment of you. Especially if you keep choosing to help me. So that you don't have to battle these fears and our own monsters at the time. Is there a way I can help you? Or at least make you believe me?”
My breathing calmed. Her words were soothing to me. I could think again. And I began to realize that this fear really had a hold over me.
I usually kept it in the back of my mind. I didn't have an answer for it, and I was afraid I couldn't find one, so I told myself I didn't have time to pay attention to it. But ever since my dad's death, and ever since everyone else had started whispering about me, I had wondered if my fear was right. More than that, though, I wondered how to disprove it. But everything I did to try and be the person I wanted to be didn't work. Didn't remove the doubt. Instead, I began to doubt my actions, my hopes. I had started downplaying everything I did that I thought was right, so that I wouldn't put too much hope in it later, in case it failed and I turned to be a monster after all. I can't fix me, I realized. Or if I could, I could never know for certain. And I couldn't figure out how to stop doubting myself.
I had to find a way to believe Stell. That should have been crazy. I was asking myself to believe that I was traveling to another world, where I could talk to fairies and fight monsters and shoot lightning from my hands. No matter how real it all felt, no matter how rational and in control of my actions I felt, the very nature of this all called my sanity in question. I needed more proof. Something concrete.
Christina's phone call, and Chris' text came to mind, but that could have been some kind of coincidence. Or maybe that conversation was predicted by my subconscious. But if I could just have one more thing…
That was it, I decided to myself. If I could get one more piece of evidence, something I could take back with me, I'd be all in. No more reservations, for better or for worse. But how could that happen? I didn't think I could bring anything back from here. And honestly even if I could, owning a short sword would cause more problems back home than it solved.
I thought for a moment longer, then I had my answer.
“Stell,” I asked. “You said I can keep some of the changes to my body, right? Some of this comes with me back home?”
“Yes, you will,” the woman nodded. “We talked about this. That's part of the deal. You can't take any objects back, but some of the changes your Ideals cause, like balance and metabolism and such, and muscular improvement, carry over completely. So will any non-magical skills you learn. Spells never will. Your abilities, your Strength, Dexterity, Wisdom, will carry over by a fraction, usually ten percent. But the score you start out with is
automatically treated as zero if it's 10 or lower. So if you raise your Strength here to a rating of 20, for example, your original's body strength will improve by two points”
“Since my original body's strength was 10, that means I'd have a rating of 12 back on Earth, right?”
“That's correct,” Stell nodded.
“Would I be able to tell?” I asked carefully.
“Um,” Stell hesitated. “Probably. Since it would represent an increase of muscle mass by about twenty percent. But your Constitution score also affects your appearance slightly as well. So would any Ideals that improve your slow-twitch and fast-twitch muscles.”
“So if I want to be sure,” I said slowly. “I need to raise both my strength and Constitution to 20.”
“With the Ideals you've chosen, you should be able to see the change when you get back.”
“What about Dexterity?” I asked. “Assume I find a way to increase all three ratings to 20. That would give me a twenty percent improvement to my balance as well, not counting whatever I get from the Ideal of Earth. Right?”
“You'd almost certainly feel an increase of that level, yes,” the woman replied confidently.
“I,” I started to say, then paused to swallow. “I think I can pull that off.”
“Really?” She asked. “That should take at least sixteen points, even with the bonuses you got for performing your first Rise.”
“As long as it doesn't take much more, I should be fine,” I replied. “Let me check.”
Wes Malcolm
Race: Human. Origin: Earth (Challenger)
Growth Level: First Rise (Spark)
Path: Unknown
Saga: Unknown
Profession: Unknown
Vital Pool: 240 points
Stamina Pool: 240 points.
Mana Pool: 290 points
Strength: 15
Dexterity: 15
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 19
Wisdom: 25
Charisma: 17
Speed: 17
Deftness: 15
Wits: 25
Will: 25
Rise Points: 6 (can increase the six primary traits at a 1:1 ratio, or the four secondary traits at a 1:2 ratio.
Insight into the Following Ideals
Earth: lvl 1
Air: lvl 1
Lightning: lvl 1
Skill List truncated
Spell list truncated
When I looked away from my mind-screen, I could tell that Stell was glaring at me again.
“You didn't spend your extra points from your first rise, did you?”
“No,” I said, surprised she would care. “Why would I?”
“What do you mean, 'why would you?'” the woman snapped. “You could have died!”
“Exactly,” I nodded. She started to open her mouth, so I hurried to explain. “See, I had no idea what would be beneficial to me, because I didn't know what habits I'd form during the Challenge. I also figured that higher ratings became harder to raise through practice. So I didn't want to make any changes until I knew what I was doing.”
“That...makes sense,” Stell grumbled. “But it also means you solved your first Challenge, one against Horde, no less, while still holding figuratively keeping one hand behind your back. Do you realize just how much you were making everyone else look bad?”
I shrugged again.
“All I have to say is that my opponents were two handfuls of naked, kindergarten-sized sociopaths that fought dumbly and without weapons or magic. If it makes you feel any better the boss monster was able to at least tag me before he died.”
Choking on his own horn, I thought but didn't add. Huh. Being humble on purpose was hard.
“And that if one of the locals like Merada had gotten there sooner,” I added. “They would have made even shorter work of the place.”
There, see? Humble. But she still didn't look appeased. Did it not work?
“I'm glad you're at least feeling better,” the attractive but slightly grouchy woman replied. “You're still a bit short of what you want to do.”
“Yeah, that's where I need your advice,” I said. “You described how to Rise before. Do I need to do that same exercise every time?”
“Mostly,” Stell replied, slowly, eyes slowly widening as she considered me. “You should be able to internally figure out any differences though.”
“Good. It felt like I needed to do exactly that.”
“Are you about to Rise again, Wes?”
The beautiful woman's eyes were widening further.
To answer her question, I reached into myself, where I had felt some kind of heavy weight resting over my stomach. The weight had grown slowly as I had battled the Horde, then again considerably after I destroyed their Pit. Receiving the acknowledgment from the Icons for accomplishing the task earlier had swollen it even further, to where it was distracting if I allowed it to be.
I mentally grabbed at the ball, twisted it to a slightly different position, and pushed.
The ground under my feet rumbled. The wind whistled by my ears. And something in my nerves started crackling.
I felt everything start to expand again. Knowledge of things I had thought impossible, control over stone, wind, and storm, poured into my head. I felt the vital and magical energy in my veins thicken, then spread out. And I felt my muscles, bones, mind, and soul suddenly surge with a newfound strength.
“Yes!” I shouted as I completed my second Rise. My mind-screen surged open, listing the changes:
Wes Malcolm
Race: Human. Origin: Earth (Challenger)
Growth Level: Second Rise (Spark)
Path: Unknown
Saga: Unknown
Profession: Unknown
Vital Pool: 250 points
Stamina Pool: 250 points.
Mana Pool: 310 points
Strength: 17
Dexterity: 17
Constitution: 15
Intelligence: 21
Wisdom: 26
Charisma: 19
Speed: 20
Deftness: 17
Wits: 26
Will: 28
Rise Points: 12 (can increase the six primary traits at a 1:1 ratio, or the four secondary traits at a 1:2 ratio.
Insight into the Following Ideals
Earth: lvl 1
Air: lvl 1
Lightning: lvl 1
Skill List truncated
Spell list truncated
4 skill points available.
Signature Spells have improved.
I grinned at both the sight and feel of what I was able to do. I swung my limbs about, marveling at how they felt different. I felt sweat on my forehead- Rising was mentally and physically exhausting- but it was worth every bit.
Best of all, I could make the changes I wanted, and still have at least a point left over.
“Incredible!” Stell shouted. “You Rose twice in one visit! That's almost unheard of!”
“Thanks,” I said with another grin. My confidence was returning quickly. “Now let's see how this goes... Wait, skill points?”
“Right,” Stell said, nodding as if she had forgotten something. “Starting at your second Rise, you can use the power to sharpen your skills as well. Anything ranging from swordplay to magic to miscellaneous skills like wilderness survival and alchemy.”
“By ‘alchemy,’ do you mean pretending to turn iron into gold, or do you mean making magic potions and other items?” I asked.
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