“That's technically also true. But no.” She admitted. “It was supposed to be almost beginner-proof. We just wanted you to get basic practice.”
“Okay,” I said, shrugging it off. I'd received worse insults. “Well, I did, so I guess it worked.”
“No, it failed, because you didn't,” Stell shook her head furiously.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “I used most or all of my spells. I punched, kicked and swung improvised weapons. I practiced fighting with Breena because that was back when she actually helped me with encounters,” a growl snuck out there. I mentally reprimanded myself and kept talking. “I took damage and learned how to deal with it where I could. I got a whole day's worth of practice on the basics.”
“No,” Stell repeated firmly. “You didn't. You didn't die and return. You didn't have to retreat and rethink your strategy. You didn't reach your limitations because even though you ended the fight bleeding and unconscious, you still cleared the entire dungeon with nothing more than a stick and a handful of spells- including the Pit itself, for Avalon's sake. I'm still researching how you were able to do that. And don't say it,” she warned.
I was about to say “I just zapped it until it died.” Apparently, she could tell and didn't want to hear it again.
“I still hit my limit,” I repeated. “Bleeding, cursed and unconscious is my limit.”
“Oh yeah?” Stell asked with an arched eyebrow. “Do you really think that? Did you really think 'gee golly, I should really be more careful in the future; I should wait for Breena and Stell to train me more before I go off and fight another Dark Icon's Champion. Maybe the next time one catches me alone, I could just keep it busy until Breena shows up?' Or do did you think, 'Man, I did awesome! I beat a whole dungeon of monsters that everyone else pooped their pants over and saved and cuddled with a whole bunch of pretty women in the process, all while practically naked from a tactical standpoint!’?”
“I strongly resent both that last sentence and the context it creates.” I said firmly. She just rolled her eyes at me. “And I was not cuddling a bunch of women that tiny, and I was not naked from any standpoint, tactical or otherwise! Come on Stell! They weren't even child-sized!”
“You mean they were palm-sized?” Stell replied smugly.
“Not helping! Not helping at all!” I shouted.
She chuckled at my distress.
“My point is, did you feel like the Dark Champion was too much for you, too skilled and powerful for the current you that needs to keep getting stronger, or did you feel like you could have handled him even more easily if you had any real equipment whatsoever, not counting a half-broken stick that didn't survive the fight?”
“Armor of any kind may have negated his attack entirely, judging by how my enhanced skin resisted it,” I answered confidently. “As long as my shocking magic held up, any kind of long-ranged weapon would have ended the fight in three swings tops, if I figured his vital points correctly. A spear would have been best. Can I have a spear?” I asked absently. “Spears are awesome. I mean, I'd ask you for firearms if I thought you had them, but I don't know how to use those anyway.”
“Wes,” Stell groaned. “That all is exactly my point. You got a terrible example of just how tough Challenges can be. They're called Challenges for a reason.”
“Well, then,” I argued. “Why did I have to go unarmed? Did you guys really forget to give me weapons?”
“No,” Stell grumbled, looking uncomfortable again. “I was trying to make you one, then send it to you.”
“What?” I asked. “Really?”
“Every Challenger gains some unique summon spells,” Stell explained. “In addition to summoning Breena when she first comes.”
“Right,” I asked, remembering. “Can I un-summon her?”
“No,” Stell said flatly.
“I can't, or I'm not allowed to?” I asked to clarify.
“Yes,” was the Star-sown's only response. “Moving on. After you link with your Ideals, I can begin to detect other summoning powers. Most other Challengers can summon a weapon unique to them, that grows with them as they Rise. Others can summon an animal companion that also bonds with them. The last Challenger could summon a tool that eventually let him build or make almost anything on the spot, though it was usually temporary.”
“Awesome,” I replied. “Did I get any of that, and when could I use it?”
“No, and probably never,” Stell said. “Actually, I did find potential for a bonded weapon, and tried to unlock it for you. But it turned out to be just a handle. Which is a first,” She said, annoyed. “But with you, firsts are the new normal.”
“Sorry,” I said lamely. And that sucked, I realized. I really wanted my own personal super-weapon.
“So am I,” Stell replied sincer,ely. “I normally have a better idea of what to do with all of this, Wes. Normally Challenges don't catch me so off-guard that I wind up sending someone out without a weapon or other gear[3][4]. I've done this sort of thing for over a thousand years. I haven't had a Challenger every single one of those years but the number I have had cannot be counted on any of my digits. I have a routine developed that has served me well for literally every single Challenger except yourself. And don't apologize, because it's not your fault.” She continued. “Now, yes, you came here on your own and have all sorts of unique or rare abilities. You are also much more competent than most people believe. You should have been the one losing your mind when you first saw a monster, Wes. Not Breena. Not everyone else. She, and by extension me, shouldn't have been the one panicking, even though we thought the Horde to be either completely cut off from us or extinct.”
“How can you tell?” I asked honestly. “It looks to me like these Challenges seemingly pop up out of nowhere.”
“They can't,” Stell replied. “Which is how I know how to track for Tumults and Trials and Call for a Challenger. Each monster has a certain criteria for breeding or appearing. But a great many of them have also had their criteria for emerging wiped out by Challengers as well. We thought that was the case for the Horde and it's a little disturbing that someone knew how to build a Horde Pit out there. Everyone is still on high alert from that.”
“But Breena was confronted with the sight of an ancient enemy among the closest members of her second family. She had to witness them being horribly abused and it completely threw her off her game. She spent the entire Challenge worried sick over what the Horde might have done to one of her uncles, two of her aunts, and her littlest nieces and sisters.”
“That sounds like a horrible experience, and her reactions were completely understandable. I really don't blame her for that.”
“Well, she blames herself. Especially since she found you half-dead a few feet from a Horde pit.”
“Again, I don't blame her,” I replied. “I can come back from the dead and her adopted family doesn't have the same ability, as I understand it.”
“You're more or less right. But Wes, until that day, after we all found about the crazy risks you took, we weren't sure if anyone could come back from the Pit, Challengers included.”
“Wait, what?” I said once again.
“We've never had a Challenger get that close to a pit alone,” Stell continued. “Even during the first Horde.” She looked down. “That was back when I tried draw Challengers from the same world a Trial or Tumult was forming in. Way back when I started. I thought people from their own world should be empowered to handled their own problems. I still believe that. I still look for ways to do that. But the Challengers from that world never came back when they went to battle the Horde pits.”
“What happened to them?” I asked.
“I don't know,” Stell said quietly. “But as far as I can tell, they were lost, along with everyone else on that world. So that's why Breena's been panicking,” Stell continued. “She had me draw out some of the empathy I put in her, so that she wouldn't panic much the next time you did something crazy. Because until toda
y, Wes, you've been taking everything in stride. See magic for the first time? No problem, you just asked how to do it, then made one of the hardest Ideal combinations work like a charm. See a monster for the first time? Again, no problem. You beat it to death with your bare hands and feet, then went and grabbed a heavy stick to deal with the rest.”
“In my defense,” I began. “I see monsters in video games all the time. And they looked far scarier than everything back there.”
“Well, we didn't know that at the time, Wes,” Stell insisted. “So I told Breena to take a good hard test of your abilities, so that we could see how you do under further pressure, and make sure we were done finding all your surprises.”
“Today was pretty pressuring,” I said dryly. “Did you tell Breena to let those things castrate me if they had a chance?”
“No,” Stell sighed. “And I'm sorry about that. She's just now getting educated about... certain things. Even as we speak.”
“Right,” I said, and I suddenly remembered that somewhere else in the forest, two women were basically just talking about my penis. After how the rest of the day went I didn’t even know how to even begin processing that fact.
Stell seemed to guess what I was thinking about. We stared at each other for another long and awkward moment, then she cleared her throat and continued speaking as if we had heard nothing.
“So, anyway, Breena and I decided to take you on a harder, more controlled test, but before that she asked me to take back some of the sympathy I put in her- because she didn’t want to panic again when she saw people get hurt. I apparently took back more than I was expecting. And we were counting too much on the fact that you could come back from the dead and regenerate, and we paid less attention to the fact you're still building trust with us and have had prior experience with being... incapacitated. Experience you probably didn't want and didn't really need to relive.”
“I think I can understand that,” I replied. “Especially since you're predicting several cataclysmic events that you need to get everyone prepared for. Just... have her tone it down a bit, okay?”
“Yes. I will do that,” the woman replied, and for a second I had to get used to the fact that she had new features again. “And it will probably never happen again.”
“Probably?” I zeroed in on that word life like my life depended on it. Because it did.
“It won't happen again,” Stell said more firmly. “But... Breena will continue to change. So will Guineve and all of my other girls. Because I am changing.”
That last sentence came out in a rush, as if it was delivered under duress.
“I'm sorry, I don't understand,” I replied. “Does your changing forms affect them?”
“No,” she replied, uncomfortable again. “I'm going to go ahead and tell you what I normally keep secret about myself.”
“Really?” I asked, feeling strangely guilty. “Are you sure you have to? I mean I don't want to force you to share things you don't want to share or anything.”
“I appreciate that Wes, but this stuff is affecting you too, so if I tell you it might help.” Stell took a deep breath. “Guineve told you a little bit about what happens when I make new aspects of myself. When you live as long and change as much as I do, my Satellites help keep me from becoming... too much. But when I make one, the separation isn't complete. I usually don't feel anything from their end, but the reverse isn't true. If I go through periods of intense change, some of that will seep over to them. If I get hurt really badly, for example, some of the trauma of the wound will transfer over to them. How much depends on the degree of the trauma as well as the distance. So losing a limb would affect everybody to a significant degree, but it would affect Guineve more than one of my aspects on another world, like Merada in the Woadlands or Anahita in the Golden Sands.”
“Please tell me that's a completely arbitrary example, and that no one's planning to hurt you,” I said slowly.
“What? No. No, of course not. That was just an example,” Stell said, looking at me. “Thought it's sweet of you to worry, I guess. But if I start changing a lot- internally, not just my appearance- it affects the rest of us to some degree. Understand?”
“No,” I admitted. “I'm sorry, Stell. All this is doing is making me more concerned for you. Can you make it clearer for me?”
“Ugh,” the gold-skinned woman said in a frustrated tone. “I'm transitioning into adulthood, okay, Wes? The last bit of puberty is happening right now.”
Huh?
“Huh?” I repeated, not even realizing that I didn't say it out loud the first time. “What?” Puberty?”
“Yes, Wes, Puberty. When I said I was technically close to your age, this was what I meant.”
“Puberty?” I repeated again. Stell rolled her eyes.
“Do you understand why I was hesitant to tell you now?” She demanded.
“No,” I repeated. I dimly realized my jaw was hanging open. “Puberty? Like, real puberty? The same puberty I'm wrapping up?”
“For the third time, yes Wes! That's exactly what I said not five seconds ago! Five Avalonian seconds!”
I dimly remembered that time traveled differently here. And that Guineve had also mentioned that Stell's emotional age was close to mine. It didn't make anything clearer in my head.
“But, but,” I repeated, gesturing all around. “But, Avalon! Planets! Tumults! Challenges! Icons! You talk to gods, Stell! Are they all going through puberty too?”
“No,” she grumbled. “Thank goodness. Most of them were not Icons back then, and even more obnoxious when they were my age. Ugh. My emotional age, I mean. Starsown are really, really long-lived, okay?”
“Okay, fine,” I said, getting enough of my brain together to grasp that one fact. “But that means, even though you live practically forever by everyone's standards, you've been doing all of this while you've still been growing up? Is that...right?”
Because that made no sense to me.
“Yes,” Stell sighed in relief. “I'm glad this is making sense to you now.”
Damn it.
“I had to deal with it during the last Challenger too, although it wasn't as much as a problem then. I don't know why everything's so much more severe now. And I don't really want to go into a lot of details with you, no offense. But the changes in my emotions are impacting my aspects, especially Breena, since she's the least emotionally mature.”
“Isn't she your second oldest aspect?” I asked.
“Yes,” Stell replied. “But she's also a fairy.”
Oh well, I finally told myself. Just roll with it like you've had to do with all the other nonsense around here.
“Do Starsown normally start watching planets that young?” I asked after a second. “As young as you were, when you first started this?”
“No,” Stell said quietly. “Normally they start right about my current age, after they've had a family member train them for a number of centuries.”
“Why weren't you trained that way?” I asked.
“Because my family's gone,” Stell said quietly. “We live long, but we're not immortal. Something happened and now everyone's gone. And I'm here on Avalon.”
“Oh,” I said. Suddenly the mists around me felt larger. And lonelier. “I'm sorry,” I said, and I felt like an idiot because I knew it wasn't enough.
“It's okay,” Stell mumbled, looking away for a moment. “Look, I didn't mean to drag you into all of my personal issues. Don't get the wrong idea, this wasn't something you were supposed to know,” she said that last part much more quickly. I had no idea what the wrong idea was, though. “Most Challengers don't get to know too much about me. Until recently, I didn't even appear to most of them. I just borrowed Guineve to be my face for them.”
“Did she ever rat you out, like she did when I came?” I asked suspiciously.
“No,” she glowered. “That along with her other pranks, is a fairly recent turn of events. Back when she woke up one morning and decided she would act like
somebody's bored mom for a couple of centuries and see what she could get away with.
“The point is,” she continued doggedly. “I'm used to keeping as much about myself hidden from Challengers as much as possible. It keeps things from being too complicated. You all have to go back to Earth at some point, and it's not like I have a way to stay in contact with you.”
“You don't?” I asked suddenly.
“No Wes,” Stell sighed. “I could barely get that Reggaeton music, remember? I can maintain low level monitoring on that planet, and that's it. I'm not able to keep up with former Challengers except to make sure that they’ve kept some of their power, and then I have to move back to watching all of the other planets I keep track of. But back to the point,” she said quickly. “Last time when you talked, it helped me understand some of the things that you were dealing with,” her voice softened as she continued. “It didn't enable me to fix what you had to deal with. I can't make the idiots back on Earth see what kind of person you are. But knowing some of your internal struggles helps me work with you as my Challenger. I shared all of this because I realized you needed the same benefit, to know that my Satellites and I have our own hangups, and you're going to have to deal with us working through them too.”
Downfall And Rise Page 37