by Ruby Dixon
“Keep dreaming.” Her snort is a pleasant one, and she moves near the fire pit, dropping a few dung chips in the center and then looking over at me.
I rub a hand over my face. I hate this helpless feeling. I can do more. I shift my weight, trying to move closer to the fire pit, when I accidentally press down on my bad leg and pain shoots all the way up my side. The breath hisses from my lungs.
“Wait,” Kate yelps, and she flings herself forward. “Don’t! You’ll hurt yourself.”
She knocks me to the ground, and my horns bang hard against the rock. Dizzy, I bite back a groan of pain as her hand plants firmly into my stomach and she loses her balance. Of course, I forget all about this because in the next moment, her teats push up against my face.
And I cannot help myself; I put my arms around her and pull her closer.
Kate squeals and wrestles out of my grip. “What are you doing?”
“Embracing you? If you wish to share my furs, Kate, simply say so. There is no need to push me down to have your way with me,” I tease. “I am quite a willing participant.”
Her face turns bright red, and she makes an indignant sound. “Just tell me how to make the fire,” she bellows at me. “Before I take a rock to your thick skull.”
“You are a violent female,” I muse, picking my words to goad her further. “First you push me into the ice, and now you threaten to attack me.”
Kate raises a fist and presses it to her mouth. “You,” she bites out after a moment, “are the most infuriating man I have ever met.”
I just grin at that. She acts as if this is a bad thing.
“I almost prefer you unconscious,” Kate retorts and retreats to the far side of the fire pit. “Now, just tell me how to start the fire, already. I’m freezing.”
I shift on my bottom, freeing my tail from where it is trapped under me. My leg sends another bolt of pain up my body, but I am ready for it and only wince. “Who else is here?”
“What do you mean, who else is here?” Kate gives me a confused expression. “It’s just you and me.”
“But…we were on the ice,” I put my hands on my thigh and straighten my bad leg, trying to adjust it. “How did we get here?”
“Oh, that. I carried you.” She puts a hand on her shoulder and rotates it slowly, wincing. “And you’re really damn heavy, too.”
I just stare at her, surprised. “You…carried me?”
“I did.” At my confusion, her cheeks turn pink and she fusses with the fire-making implants. “Why is that so weird? What was I supposed to do, leave you there?”
She looks ashamed, and this confuses me. “It is a long way to carry someone. And you are a small female.” Not as small as the others, but still fragile compared to me.
“Are you making fun of me?”
“No, why would I? You saved my life, Kate.” I do my best to look earnest. “I am humbled that you would carry me so far.”
“Oh.” Her mouth turns into a pink circle, and then she snaps her jaw shut. “I…you’re welcome.”
“And you set my leg, too?”
Kate nods and keeps her head ducked, not making eye contact with me. She toys with the flint in her hands. “Someone said that you guys heal fast, and so I needed to make sure it healed properly. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, but I did my best.”
Again, I am humbled by this female. “I am in awe of you, pretty Kate.”
She licks her lips and looks nervous. “And now you’ll show me how to make a fire?”
It seems she is uncomfortable with my compliments. Strange female. I would shower her with affection if she would but accept it. I brace myself, avoiding my bad leg, and maneuver a little closer. “You must like the smell of dung.”
“What?” Kate recoils, looking at me.
I gesture at the fire. “You have put an entire day’s worth of fuel into the fire pit.”
“Oh!” She hastily scoops it out. “I didn’t know.”
“Which is why I will show you. Fire is everything out here, Kate.” I shift my weight and lean closer to her. “Let me show you how to get a spark.”
KATE
Harrec’s finally awake.
I’m both glad and wish he would go back to sleep again. He confuses me. I feel all nervous and fluttery around him, especially when he stares at me…which seems to be all the time. I’m relieved his leg is healing well, and he’s shown me how to make a fire.
And he’s not dead, which is also good.
I’m also torn on how to react around him. He woke me up by stroking my arm in a caress that gave me goosebumps. And I reacted by…well, I wanted to kiss him. Instead, I panicked and acted all weird around him. All he did was ask about his leg and I started being a spaz. God, I’m as bad as Summer. Now I know how she feels when she tries to talk to any of the guys. It’s not a great feeling.
But at least we have fire now. I’m seated by it, with Harrec closer to the mouth of the cave, his bad leg stretched in front of him and propped by furs. He leans against the rocky wall, his eyes closed. I put my hands out to warm them, but the snow is steadily falling outside, the wind whistling against the privacy screen over the entrance of the cave, and it’s still chillier than I’d like.
Twice as chilly, given the fact that my tunic and half of my pants are now gone.
I’m not going to complain, though. Harrec’s leg is propped up by the blankets, and he looks like he’s hurting, his face drawn tight. I wouldn’t take them from him.
It’s weird being alone here with him, though. There’s no one else to distract from the fact that it’s just us. The silences feel all the more uncomfortable, and I’m acutely aware I’m not wearing much more than my makeshift Not-Hoth bra, which is just a band of tight leather. It’s not very warm, and I rub my arms to ward off some of the chill.
“You are cold,” Harrec says from across the fire.
I glance over at him, surprised. I thought he was resting his eyes. But no, he’s got one eye open and he’s watching me. “I’m fine.”
“You are not fine.” He pats the spot in the furs next to him. “Come and slide in next to me. I will share my body warmth with you.”
Oh boy. Why does such an innocent offer make my brain go to such dirty places? “Really, I’m fine.”
Harrec gives me another challenging glance. “Are you afraid of me?”
“Pfft.” Unnerved, yes. Afraid, no. “Did you ever think maybe I don’t want to cuddle?”
“Why?” He tilts his head and studies me. “Do you hate me so much that you would willingly remain cold rather than share warmth with me?”
Well, now I just feel like a big asshole. “I don’t hate you,” I mumble. How do I explain that he makes me feel shy and insecure? I can’t, of course. If I tell him that, he’ll just use it against me. So when he pats the spot on the blankets next to him, I have no choice but to go to his side.
I sit next to him, stiff-shouldered and uncertain. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in against his good side, and my hand automatically goes to his stomach. His hard, flat stomach. Oh crap. Do I leave my hand there and perv on him? Or do I remove it? If I remove it, where do I put it? Where would it seem natural?
“Your hand is twitching.”
“It’s nothing!”
“Relax,” he tells me. “This is merely a sharing of heat.”
And that reassurance makes me feel worse. Because I’m a big stork of a girl and he’d never hit on me except to mock me? Ugh. I hate all this uncertainty. Why can’t he ignore me like every human man out there? I do my best to relax, though, even if I’m acutely aware of the fact that my cheek is inches away from his skin, or the fact that he feels like suede to the touch, or that he’s warm like a heating blanket and I kind of want to fling my arms and legs around him and soak up that delicious warmth.
“Thank you for carrying me,” he says when I get quiet. “I am humbled that you would risk yourself like that.”
“Was it a risk?”
<
br /> “You could have harmed yourself, strained your back, hurt your muscles.” The hand on my shoulders picks up my braid, and he begins to flick the tail against my skin, back and forth. The ticklishness of it is distracting. “You could have left me.”
“I would never leave you behind. That’s just wrong.”
“Not even to save yourself?”
I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t know if I could have left him behind. Not when it was my fault he ended up stuck in the ice in the first place. So I go on the attack, because I’m feeling vulnerable. “I don’t know why you had the boneheaded cockamamie plan to go across a glacier anyhow. They’re freaking dangerous!”
“Why?” He sounds genuinely confused.
I sit up a little higher and glance at him. “Seriously? You fell into an ice crack. You almost died. You broke your leg.”
“Yes, but crossing the great ice is normally perfectly safe.”
“On what planet?”
He looks confused. “This one.”
Okay, he’s got me there. Maybe it is totally safe here if you know what you’re doing. Maybe it is a shortcut to these people. “It’s also full of cracks!”
“It is, but that is why you watch the ground and cross with a friend. The great ice is safe because the metlaks avoid it, and most predators do as well.”
“Yeah, because they’re smarter than us, obviously.”
Harrec gives my shoulder a small poke with a finger. “We were perfectly safe until you pushed me in.”
“I did not push you in,” I protest. “Seriously!”
“You did,” he says, grinning. “I felt your hands on my back just before you shoved me in.”
“I did not! I was…distracted.” God, why won’t he shut up?
“Distracted by what? What were you staring at so intently?”
Like I will ever tell him that it was his ass dimples! No freaking way. “Nothing.”
“Then you wished to kill me and return to the others without me?” Harrec has the goofiest grin on his face. I can’t decide if I want to laugh with him or smack him in the mouth…or kiss his mouth.
I am such. A. Mess. “Just shut up already, will you?”
“But I enjoy speaking with you, pretty Kate.” He plays with the end of my braid, dragging it along my collarbones in a little back and forth motion that makes my nipples go hard. “Why is that so hard to believe?”
“I never know what to think around you,” I mutter. His fingers skim my skin—along with my braid tip—and I rub at my shoulder, now covered in goosebumps. “You love messing with me.”
“‘Messing’ with you? I do not understand what this means.”
Are we going to do this now? Really? “Let’s just drop it, okay?”
He feigns more misunderstanding. “What shall we drop?”
“The subject?”
He chuckles, clearly not bothered by my annoyance. “You are upset. I can tell because your pale cheeks turn a bright pink.”
Pale cheeks? “Great. Thanks for making that sound weird.” I press the back of a hand to my cheeks.
“Does it sound weird? I find it charming.” He nudges me with his body. “Perhaps that is why I tease you so much. I like to see you color.”
Well, that explains why he’s constantly embarrassing me, I guess. He likes the way I react. It’s not surprising, I guess, though I’m a little disappointed that it’s not because he actually likes me. Of course, I guess that was too much to hope for. Not that I want him to like me. Life’s easier without having to try to figure out Harrec’s brain.
It’s silly to be hurt.
I can’t help it, though. With him playing with my braid, and his arm around my shoulders, my hand on his stomach? It almost feels like we’re a couple. And…it’s nice. I like it far more than I should, especially since it’s one-sided. I sit up, clasping my hands in my lap. “I think I’m going to go back to the other side of the fire.”
“Why?” He snags my braid before I can get up, wrapping it around his hand. “I like you next to me. You fit under my arm perfectly.”
What do I say to him? That his flirting confuses me? That he’s making me upset? “Can we just drop the act while we’re alone, please?” I pull my braid free of his grip.
Harrec tilts his head and looks confused. “What act is this?”
He’s going to make me say it, isn’t he? I press my hands to my forehead and will myself not to feel so nervous around him. I saved the guy’s life. We can at least be friends—and I do like his personality when it’s not aimed at dismantling me. If I get nothing out of this but friendship, I suppose I’m okay with that. But friends are truthful with friends. “The act where you pretend to find me attractive or act like you’re in love with me just so you can embarrass me. Just let it go for a few days, all right?”
Harrec is quiet…
…Which isn’t like him. At all.
I cross my arms over my chest and meet his gaze defiantly. I’m not backing down.
He watches me, his gaze locked to mine in a way that feels vulnerable and intense all at once. Then, slowly, a smile spreads across his face. I feel my cheeks heating despite my best efforts to be strong and resolute. “You think I do not like you? That I pretend when I flirt with you?”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “What are you saying?”
“I am telling you that what I say is not pretend. That when I tell you I enjoy your company, it is truth. When I say I like the pink flush of your cheeks, it is truth. When I invite you to my furs, it is all truth.”
Did I think my cheeks were hot before? They feel like they’re scorching now. “You haven’t invited me to your furs!”
“I am now.” Harrec grins at me and gestures at the blankets spread around him. “Join me here.”
“Oh. I…I thought you meant something else.”
His eyes gleam with amusement. “I can mean that as well.”
I reach out and give his arm a light, irritated smack. “God, you are so annoying! Why do you never just come out and say something?”
He chuckles, trying to catch my hand as I pull back. “I enjoy seeing your response. I enjoy your reactions. I enjoy you, Kate. Why would you think I am not sincere? Just because I like to laugh?”
“No, that’s not it.” I realize I’m twisting my hands and squeeze them tight together.
“Then what is it? Why would you think when I say things to you, they are not sincere? When I make my interest known, you think it is a joke?”
“Because you…well, you act like I’m a giant.”
“A shy-ant? What is this?”
“A huge, tall creature. You make me feel like a freak every time you comment on my height.”
His eyes narrow, and he looks as if he is thinking really hard about what I’m saying. “But you are tall for a human female.”
“You think I haven’t noticed?”
“Why is it a bad thing to say something about it?”
“Because men act like it’s strange. It makes me unattractive to them.” At his disbelieving snort, I add, “Okay, human men, maybe.”
“Human males are fools,” he says boldly. “I like that you are tall. I like that you are strong. I imagine that when I hold you, you will not break.” Harrec gives a little shake of his head. “I do not even know how Bek can hold his Ell-ee without harming her, she is so tiny. I would live in fear of this. I much prefer a strong female.”
These are words I’ve dreamed of hearing a man say to me all my life, and yet…I have a hard time believing them. It’s like they’re too perfect. “You’re just saying that.”
“I am not. Why would I lie? Why would I not love a female that is strong and capable? Do you think Suh-mer could have carried me on her back across the glacier? Do you think Buh-brukh or Chail would have been able to do so? Do you think they would walk next to me for days on end simply because I challenge them to do so?” He leans forward, shifting his weight, and his gaze is intent on me. “You may b
e strong, and you may be tall, but that does not mean you are not attractive or worthwhile, my pretty Kate. A wise male knows this well.”
I…don’t know what to say. “I…I thought you were making fun of me,” I whisper. Suddenly I’m calling into question my every interaction with Harrec.
“I enjoy having fun. I enjoy making you laugh. I enjoy making you turn pink. But I would never mock you.” He looks thunderous at the thought. “I would take you into my furs right now if I was not injured, and explore pleasure-mating with you. Why do you think I took you on this glacier with me? We were headed to this cave.”
“We were?” There’s an awful squeaky note in my voice. “Why?”
“So I could seduce you into my furs.” He gives me a goofy grin that belies his words. “I do not think my plan has worked out so well.”
That makes me giggle-snort. “You think?”
“Make no mistake, though. When I say things to you, it is because they are truth. They might be said with a smile, but they are never lies. I would never do such to you.”
“Okay,” I breathe, because I don’t know what else to say. This is unfamiliar territory for me. I’ve always been the gawky girl that no man has ever paid attention to. The fact that the man I’ve been crushing on despite myself is declaring his feelings for me? I don’t know how to react.
“You are the female I want,” Harrec declares. “Have you seen me tease Suh-mer or Buh-brukh?”
“Well, no, but…” I stare at the expanse of his blue chest, unable to meet his eyes. “I thought you guys waited for resonance?”
“Not all do. Some never resonate. I do not think I will.” He shrugs and gives me one of those lopsided smiles. “It is something I sense. But that does not mean I cannot give my heart. And that does not mean I do not wish to have a pleasure-mate to take to my furs.” His voice drops to a husky note that makes me shiver.
“But what if I resonate to…someone else?” Even the thought makes me a little sick with nerves. I don’t know that I want to resonate to someone at all.
“You might resonate tomorrow,” he agrees. “Or you might not resonate for twenty seasons. Why worry over such things?”