by Ruby Dixon
Harrec looks confused. He shrugs his shoulders. “It is my spur. Do human males not have them?”
I shake my head. “What does it do?”
“Do?” He lowers a hand to touch it. “Must it do something?”
I stop him before he can reach down and stroke it. Somehow that seems wrong. “Do you have any other extra body parts that I need to be aware of?”
His grin grows wider. “How do I know if they are extra? Though I am more than happy to have you explore me.” He spreads his arms wide. “I am yours, my pretty Kate—”
I push past him, stripping off my dirty gloves and putting the dung chips into the fuel basket. “I think we need to talk about last night,” I say, not looking him in the eye. Busy, busy, must stay busy.
“This is because of last night,” he tells me, moving to my side. I can feel his big body hovering close to mine. Really close. “Remember our discussion?”
I’m having a hard time thinking about anything other than his dick proximity. Okay, and the spur. “Um?”
“I will help you with your shyness,” Harrec proclaims. “I am naked so we can get used to each other.”
“By being naked?” I cry out, looking up into his face. “Seriously?”
“If you are used to my body, you will not blush as much. You will welcome the sight of my cock because you know it will bring you pleasure.”
I stare at him. And then I start to snort with laughter, because it’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. “So my Pavlovian response to when you whip your dick out is pleasure? Is that what we’re doing? Seriously?”
His smile dims a little. “You do not think this is a good idea?”
Oh, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. But I’m not sure I’m down with this. “Harrec, it’s just that…well, I’m going to stare if you’re naked—”
“I welcome your staring!” He spreads his arms wide. “I wish for you to look to your heart’s fill.”
Part of me wants to do that, too. Except I just…can’t. Right now I want to cover my eyes. I strip off my gloves and toss them into the fuel basket. “Harrec—”
“Kate.” He takes my hands in his and turns me to face him. “This is all because of your shyness, yes? You grow nervous when I show you my body because you think it is some sort of prank I will play on you. Did you not enjoy our mouth-matings last night?” He presses my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “I know I did.”
And I’m lost at that small, simple touch, because I did. I really, really did enjoy our kissing. “You know I did.”
“Will you not want more than just mouth-matings at some point?” His eyes gleam. “There are many places for a male to put his mouth on his female—”
I press my fingers to his lips, silencing him. “You’ve made your point. I’m just…a little shocked, that’s all. You’re very forward.”
“Only because I see what I want.” His lips brush against my fingertips. “And you said you would help me with my fears, so I am to help you with yours.”
“I’m not afraid, exactly,” I tell him.
“Then why will you not look at my cock? I like to think it is a fine one.”
Oh god, this man is determined to make me blush. “From what I saw, it looked perfectly adequate.”
“You should look again…if you are not afraid.”
Damn the man. I look down, but my focus goes instead to the bandages on his leg. “You’re distracting me from the fact that you’re on your feet. How is your leg?”
“It does not ache nearly as much as my cock.”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “You are an extremely focused man.”
“Very.” He grins at me and shifts his weight on his legs. “And I thought to exercise my leg a bit. It is sore, but it feels as if it healed well.”
I smile, but the truth is, I’m a little disappointed to hear that. If his leg is strong enough to stand on, it means we’ll be leaving to rejoin the others soon, and…we haven’t gotten past much more than kissing. Suddenly I see why he’s naked—and I feel my own ridiculous urge to shuck my clothing and move our relationship along. What if I get all weird about things when we rejoin the others? What if he pulls back and begins to flirt with Summer or Brooke? I’d be devastated.
For the first time, I don’t want to leave the cave or our cozy little pattern we have set up. I want to keep laughing with Harrec and keep having him shock me…and more than anything, I want to keep kissing him. But I don’t know how to express this without making a fool of myself, so I just squeeze the hand holding mine. “We’ll be leaving soon, then?”
He nods. “In two, perhaps three days.”
“Ah.”
“You look sad.” He puts his fingers under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his, and the expression on his face is pure, infuriating, sexy Harrec. “Are you disappointed you will no longer have me to yourself?”
I push his hand away and put a faint smile on my face. “It’s just easy when it’s the two of us, you know? I just don’t want things to change when we’re around the others.”
“If you mean my feelings for you, they will not change in the slightest.” He puts an arm around my waist and pulls me against him, then pushes my braid aside and begins to kiss my neck. “I have felt this way for many weeks, pretty Kate. I see no reason for it to change now.” His breath tickles my skin, and then he presses his lips to the base of my throat, working his way up the side.
And oh, it feels amazing. I put my hands on his arms, holding him close and biting back the moan rising in my throat. I thought a neck would be a fairly unexciting place to kiss, but it turns out that it’s extremely sensitive. The nip of his sharp teeth against my skin makes me shudder, and when his tongue strokes over my skin, I can’t help but give a small breathless cry.
Harrec groans against my neck, pressing me tighter against him. “My sweet human. Your scent is maddening.”
He’s distracting me, completely and utterly. I should protest…but then he presses his hips up against my front, and I can feel the large, hard length of his erection against my belly. And then I know I need to shut this down. I push him gently away. “Can we go a little slower?”
“You wish me to kiss your neck slower?”
“No, I mean, can we not…go so fast?” Then I realize he’s probably going to misunderstand that, too. “We just started kissing last night. I like you—a lot—but I don’t know if I’m ready to do more than just share a few kisses. Not just yet.”
Recognition dawns on his face. “Of course. It shall be as you wish it to be, pretty Kate.” He smiles at me and leans in to press a kiss to my forehead. “We shall go as slow as you wish.”
I’m relieved…I think. Because there’s an enticing mental image going through my head of him flinging me down on the blankets and having his way with me. It’s both exciting and scary, but I’m going to be cautious.
If Harrec breaks my heart, I don’t know that I’ll ever recover.
HARREC
My skittish Kate holds my finger, a bone awl poised near the tip. “Are you ready?”
“No.” I wipe at my brow, already sweating. “I feel this is a bad idea.”
She chuckles and moves to my side, her teats pressing against my arm. She grabs ahold of it tightly and gives me a squeeze. “Don’t worry, okay? Even if you faint, I have you.”
“You are missing the point,” I tell her, breathing quickening. “I do not want to faint.”
“Which is why we’re going to work on this,” she says, authority in her voice. She gives my arm another encouraging squeeze. “You can do this, Harrec.”
I am not certain I can, but Kate is determined. It has been a pleasant day thus far—I kissed my female many times when she returned to the cave, and we worked all afternoon on cleaning furs and sewing clothes for travel since our old leathers were destroyed on the glacier. I enjoy working alongside her, and we laugh and talk as we sew, and it makes the hours pass quickly. But as night came on, Kate
grew quieter and then turned to me.
“We should work on your fear of blood,” she announced.
“I am not afraid of blood,” I told her. “Just my own.”
And now here we are, me with my arm stretched out in front of me, my female (and soon-to-be pleasure-mate) crouched at my side, ready to wound me the moment I give her the word. My stomach is queasy at the thought, and I am sweating profusely. I do not like this. Not at all.
“Ready?” she prompts again.
“No.” I am not certain I will ever be ready.
“Harrec.” She turns and gives me an exasperated look, and her full teat brushes against my arm again. It reminds me that I did not make much progress with her, either. “Be brave,” she tells me. “It’s just a tiny prick.”
“I am brave,” I protest. “Have I not hunted the sa-kohtsk? Have I not brought back much food for the tribe, even when the brutal season is at its coldest? I am no coward.”
“Good. Then let’s do this.” She leans forward with the awl again.
I yelp, closing my hand before she can touch my finger. “Kate!”
She turns to me, and there’s a look of surprise and wonder on her face. “Are you okay? You turned this awful grayish blue.” She blinks and then presses her hand to my cheek. “Oh my word, you’re sweating! You’re really afraid.”
“Did you think I would pretend?”
“No! I guess it’s just startling to see.” She puts down the awl and presses her hand to my cheek. “I’m sorry. We’ll practice a little every day, okay? You did great. I promise.”
I do not feel as if I did great, but her hand on my cheek helps.
“We’ll try again when you’re ready,” Kate tells me, giving my arm a pat and getting up. She crosses the cave, and I watch her as she moves, her hips swaying. I watch her and do not even mind that she has no tail; it makes her bottom that much more…charming. And I think about our kisses from this morning. I would do so much more with her if she would let me. If she was not afraid.
“We can try again,” I say.
She turns around, curious. “Right now?”
“Yes, but only if you wish to work on your fears with me.”
She pauses, and the funny expression crosses her face that tells me she is turning pink. “Oh.”
“Do you not wish to practice? If you are not interested in me as a mate—”
“That’s not it.”
I gesture at my loincloth. “Then come. I will let you prick me, and I will remove this as I do so.”
“Boy, you sure are willing to get naked,” Kate says, but she returns to my side, her steps slow.
“As willing as you are to stab me.” I pat my knee. “But come. I will keep my loincloth on if you will come sit in my lap as you wound me.”
Kate sidles closer, until her knees are practically touching mine. “Just me in your lap?”
“That is all.” And if she wants more, it will make it easy for her to ask. In the meantime, I will get to touch her soft skin and inhale her sweet scent.
She licks her lips and then nods. “All right. As long as it won’t hurt your leg?”
“Never.” I gesture at my opposite leg, indicating she should sit there. “Your weight is slight.”
My female gives me another skeptical look but delicately takes a seat on my good knee. She studies my bandaged leg, clearly worried over it. She has fussed over me all day, asking how it felt every time I took a step. It aches and twinges, but it will not grow stronger if I lie around. My cock, however, aches fiercely, and the pain grows more intense with her nearness. Her scent envelops me, and I want to bury my face against her neck and breathe deep, but she looks nervous. So I only smooth her thick, frizzy braid off her shoulder and give her my easiest smile.
“You sure this is all you want?” She arches an eyebrow at me.
“It is not all I want,” I admit. “You know what I want. But it is all I will bargain for, for now.”
Her cheeks turn bright pink.
9
HARREC
I wait for her to protest, to tell me that it is too much, that I push too hard. But she only wiggles on my knee and gives me a small smile. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Are you?” I retort, challenging her. I want that fierce Kate to rise instead of the uncertain one. I want her to realize she has nothing to fear from me.
Her soft mouth firms into a hard line, and she narrows her eyes at me. “Hand, please.”
The enormity of what I am doing sinks in at that moment, and I begin to sweat. I am giving her permission to harm me, to draw my blood, all so I can be nearer to her. My breath becomes rapid, my chest tight, and even Kate’s nearness cannot distract me from this as she pulls the awl out once more.
As if she senses my panic, Kate looks over at me. “It’s going to be okay, Harrec. I promise.”
I focus on her mouth, its plump, pink softness and the little flashes of white teeth when she speaks. I will think about kissing her, not about her pricking my finger. Not about my blood, bright red and spilling from my body. Not about pain and death and bleeding out—
“You’re pale again,” she whispers.
I nod. I need a moment. I need a moment to focus on her and not on what I know is coming. My vision grows hazy even as my breathing speeds up, and I focus in on her, her pale brows, her cloud-like mane. Most of all, I lock onto her mouth, imagining mine over it.
She reaches up a hand and brushes the backs of her fingers along my jaw. “Can you focus on me? Think about something else other than what’s going to happen.”
“I am thinking about your mouth,” I tell her.
“And where you want it to go?” Her voice is husky, sweet.
My thoughts switch, just like that. My free hand—the one she is not holding—locks around her waist, and I hitch her closer to me, pulling her tight. I imagine her mouth on mine, her tongue flicking against my own. I think about the soft noises she makes when I stroke my tongue deep, or the way her hip feels when my hand locks onto it. I think about how it felt to hold her close last night and to sleep with her in my arms. It was the best moment of my life, and I want it again.
“You’re looking at me so intensely,” she whispers, and her gaze is locked on my mouth.
“You told me to think of other things. I am.”
“Dirty things?”
“Good things. Very, very good things.” I lick my lips and am fascinated when her attention moves there. “I was thinking about where I would put my mouth if I had my choice.”
“Oh?” She sounds shaky but fascinated.
“I am told there is no taste sweeter on the tongue than a resonance mate’s cunt, but I bet yours would rival it.” I watch her mouth, fascinated when it opens in breathless shock. “And I would like to taste you and find out.”
“Oh. Oh.” Now she is breathing hard, her gaze unfocused, eyes soft as she gazes at my mouth. “You want to go down on me?”
Do I? “I would go between your thighs and never come up,” I tell her. “I would lick you until you leave nail-marks on my horns. I would use my tongue to—”
Trembling, she presses her fingers to my mouth to silence me. Does she think that will work? I lick at them and then take one fingertip between my lips and gently suck on it.
Her low little moan is delicious to hear. “You’re distracting me.”
“I am. I do not deny it.”
“Let’s get this over with so we can do…other things.” She tears her gaze away from my mouth and turns back to my hand. I spread it wide for her, though I am still nervous. It is just that now, my nervousness is mixed with anticipation. What other things will she let me do to her? I would give anything for the privilege of licking her cunt. My mouth waters at the thought, and I barely notice as she strokes my palm with her fingers. Perhaps she will not let me lick her tonight, if she wishes for us to take our time, but soon, I hope. Or perhaps it is something I can dare her into—
There is a tiny sting on my fi
nger.
My focus immediately rips back to the present, and I stare at the bright red bead of blood welling up on my finger. My blood.
My blood.
Nausea crashes over me. My body grows cold, and black creeps in at the edge of my vision.
“Harrec!” Kate’s hands grip my horns, hauling my head upright. “Stay with me. You’re okay.” She takes a deep, loud breath. “Inhale then exhale, okay? Big, deep breaths. You can do this.”
I feel as if I will vomit. My head spins, and I breathe deep, though it is not easy. The black at the edge of my vision is waiting to pull me under, and all I can think about is the red of blood, that bright splash against the blue of my skin—
“Focus on me, Harrec.” Kate leans in and presses her mouth to my unresponsive one. “Come on. Tell me more dirty things you want to do to me.”
I want to, but all I can think about is the blood. So much blood. Blood and death.
“All right,” Kate says quickly. “If you won’t tell me, maybe I’ll tell you what I want to do to you. Maybe tonight I want to share your blankets again. I liked sleeping next to you and feeling your skin against mine.”
I struggle to keep my eyes open, and her pale face swims in and out of view. “To…gether?” My voice sounds thick, my thoughts racing and scattered.
“That’s right. Together.” Her voice is soft and sweet, and she presses another kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I want more kisses. I want more touching. But you have to stay awake for me, all right?”
She wants more? I am not sure if she says it simply to distract me or if it is truth, but I will take it either way. “Kate,” I murmur, chanting her name under my breath to focus in on her. “Kate. Kate. Kate.”
“That’s right,” she encourages. “No blood.” Her hand swipes over my fingers. “See? It was just the tiniest bit, and I’ve wiped it away. You can relax, I promise.”
Kate. I say her name in my mind, and it helps the blackness recede. Kate. Kate.
“Are you okay?” she asks after what seems like a very long moment. “Still going to pass out?”