by Ross, Aubrey
“I won’t.” He caught the tear with his thumb, his gaze suddenly fierce. “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. Speak the word and it’s yours.”
Speak the word? There was only one word that mattered when broken hearts were on the line. Love me. Want me for real, not for your own amusement. The impossibility of the thought saddened yet calmed her, allowing her to think beyond the aching emptiness in her heart. Was this how he’d win the bet? Loki hadn’t been specific about the parameters. Was it a forgone conclusion that they’d both sleep with her, so the first time she said I love you to one or the other, they’d have a winner? The possibility made their contest even more disgusting than before.
“I don’t know what I want. That’s the problem.” She sighed and lowered her gaze to his chest. His eyes commanded and caressed. It was impossible to remember all the reasons she couldn’t trust him when she looked into those eyes. This was so frustrating. She had to regain control of the situation or tell Loki she wanted out. And she wasn’t ready to return to her lonely, sexless life. “I want to feel more of what I felt the other night. I can’t stop thinking about it.” She glanced up then away. “But I don’t want to be your toy.”
He pushed is fingers into her hair, cupping the side of her face. “Sweetheart, you’ve got it backward. I’ve agreed to let you play with me. That makes me your toy.”
Chapter Seven
Josiah could barely breathe as he waited for Katie to respond to his statement. They knelt, facing each other in the middle of the bed. She was naked and soft, and the smell of her arousal lingered in the air. If he lowered her to her back and kissed her senseless, this frustrating conversation would end. He’d always been better with actions than words. Chase knew how to flirt and tease. Josiah had always been more direct. He made his interest known and the person either responded or he walked away. And he’d never cared which option they chose. The difference was, he wanted Katie to respond. He needed her with an intensity he hadn’t experienced in years. No, he’d never felt like this before.
“You want to explore your sexuality and I’ve agreed to help you.” He eased her to arm’s length, his voice sounding more assertive. “I allowed your uncertainty to change my usual approach. I realize now that was a mistake.”
“No it wasn’t. If you hadn’t been willing to compromise, I would have made you leave.”
“I’m not talking about compromise. I’m talking about control. You said it yourself; you’re not sure what you want. It’s my responsibility to guide you.”
She remained tense for another moment and then a sensual smile bowed her lips. “So guide me.”
He swept her legs out from under her and laid her back across the bed. Parting her legs with his knees, he settled between them. He arched over her body, minimizing the contact of her breasts against his chest as he drew her arms up on either side of her head.
“Don’t move your hands.” Her forehead creased as if she would argue, so he clarified, “You do not have permission to touch me.”
Her brow arched at that. “Do I need to say yes sir and ask permission to speak?” The faintest hint of mockery sharpened her tone.
“Not unless it excites you to be that subservient. I’d rather hear you scream my name, and you need to become more comfortable talking to me, not less.” She pressed her teeth into her lower lip, looking suspiciously guilty of something. “Let’s start right now. Why do you suddenly look so guilty?”
She shifted position, her body undulating as her wrists pulled against his restraining hands. He was careful not to hurt her, but he kept his grip firm and constant, reminding her that he was in control. After only a moment of restless uncertainty, she settled down and accepted the position.
“The thought of being tied up definitely excites me,” she admitted as color blossomed on her cheeks.
“Good.” He leaned down and nipped her neck then whispered in her ear, “It excites me too.” Everything about her excited him. He’d never been with a person who attracted him like this. Not since he first met Chase. And their courtship had been much more gradual. Refusing to be distracted by the past, he shifted his weight to his knees and slowly released her wrists. Much to his satisfaction, she kept her arms right where he’d left them. “What else excites you?”
“I’ve been intrigued by the BDSM lifestyle.” She sounded stronger now, less embarrassed. “But I’m not into rules. I want this to be fluid. I have to be free to experiment and evolve. If the situation requires a contract, it’s not for me.”
He could picture her in bed with her laptop, reading everything she could find about the lifestyle. She was a curious little thing. And her relative innocence was so refreshing, he was happy to answer her questions. Even if her naked body was a cruel distraction. “A lot of people use contracts to avoid miscommunication. If the sub isn’t allowed to speak once the session begins, the contract allows them to explain exactly what they will and will not do.”
“Do you use a safe word?” Her voice was hushed again as if they were discussing something forbidden. Didn’t she realize how widespread these pleasures had become? Like tattoos, spanking and restraints had become almost mainstream.
“I’ve used safe words in the past, but I’d rather have you tell me when you like something and when you don’t. If you ask me to stop, for any reason, I will. You need to get over your reluctance to talk about sex before we try anything more regimented.”
“All right.”
“Now comes the tricky part.” He paused and soothed her with a tender kiss. “I want you to think before you answer and be brutally honest. Do you want me to leave my pants on as we originally planned or do you want me to fuck you?” She stilled beneath him, barely breathing. Her lips trembled and uncertainty clouded her eyes. It was answer enough. She wanted him, but she wasn’t ready to trust him completely. He placed his thumb across her lips. “I’m sorry. You already told me that you don’t know what you want. I shouldn’t have asked. My pants stay on until you’re ready for more than casual pleasure.”
Before she could change her mind, or more importantly, before her answer could change his, he lowered his head and kissed her. Her lips parted, inviting his tongue into the silken interior of her mouth. She kissed him back, her tongue stroking over and curling around his. Her immediate response sent lust spiraling through his body. His cock had been hard since she took off her top, but this was different, hungrier, more elemental. He wanted her pinned beneath him, arching into each thrust as he filled her again and again. But more than superficial release, he wanted her need to equal his. She wanted his skill and expertise. That much was certain, but she didn’t really want him.
He slipped one arm beneath her neck, supporting his weight so he could touch her with his other hand. Her breasts were soft yet firm. He’d never tire of squeezing the warm mounds and teasing the tips into hard little peaks. She had the sort of breasts many women paid for, and still she felt ashamed of their abundance.
Reluctant to release her mouth, yet unable to resist the temptation of her nipples, he lightly pinched and rolled the sensitive flesh until she was gasping, and arching her back. Only then did he kiss his way down her throat and capture one hard bud between his lips. She sighed and started to lower her arms.
“No.” He punctuated the command with a strong enough nip to make her gasp. “Your hands are restrained. Remember?”
She grabbed the sides of her pillow as she whispered, “Sorry.”
Once he was certain she’d keep her hands to herself, he returned his attention to her breasts. He surrounded the fullness with his fingers without covering the nipples. “Your skin is so soft, and your nipples responsive.” He sucked hard on one side and then the other, leaving both tightly gathered and wet. “I can’t seem to stop and I’m not usually a breast man.” As if to prove his claim, he nibbled and licked his way from the tip of one breast to the tip of the other and back, pausing often to touch and taste. “You’re addictive.” She turned her face
sharply to one side and Josiah froze. “What’s wrong? How did I upset you?”
“It’s not you.” She paused for a deep breath then looked at him again. The torment in her gaze easily identified the source of her sudden distress. “Dillon made me hold my chest when he fucked me, said he couldn’t stand watching them bounce around.”
He just stared at her, dumbfounded by the stupidity. “Are you sure he liked women?” She laughed and her glorious breasts jiggled with each inhalation. “Breasts are supposed to ‘bounce around’. I’ve always thought bras should be optional.” He curved his fingers around the outer curve and pressed the mounds together. Then he bent and buried his face in her cleavage, inhaling her clean, feminine scent. He shifted his thumbs to her nipples and stroked as he raised his head and looked at her again. “One of these nights I’m going to hold you just like this,” he pressed her breasts even closer together, “and fuck your soft white cleavage. Maybe then you’ll believe you’re incredibly sexy.”
“Will that prove that I’m sexy or you’re a pervert?” She softened the question with a playful grin.
“Shall we find out?” He reached for is fly, brows raised in challenge.
She laughed again and shook her head. “Not tonight. You promised to keep your pants on.”
“I did, but I didn’t say anything about unzipping them.” Uncertainty flickered through her gaze, so he soothed her with a smile. “I’m kidding. You’re safe from my beastly desires—for tonight.”
Her playfulness returned in an instant. “What about my beastly desires?”
“I was just about to see how beastly your desires had become.” He scooted down and slipped his hands under her knees, parting her legs with a dramatic gesture. She laughed and wiggled as he kissed his way down her inner thigh. He scooted off the edge of the bed and pulled her toward him, not stopping until her hips were right at the edge of the mattress. It was obvious she wasn’t sure what to do with her legs, so he told her, “Grab the backs of your knees and hold your legs open for me.”
She obeyed with some reluctance. “Yeah, this isn’t awkward at all.”
“Our next lesson can be in my playroom.” He hadn’t meant to mention his dungeon this early in their lessons, but the offer just slipped out.
Her head came up, eyes owlish. “You have a ‘playroom’? Does that mean what I think it means?” Despite her distraction, she still held her legs open, her sex on display.
Hoping to distract her, he traced her slit with his fingertip, teasing without parting. “What do you think it means?”
“Whips and chains? A St. Andrew’s Cross?”
He laughed. “I use cables rather than chains and I designed most of the appliances myself, so they don’t have familiar names. However, I would be able to position your body anyway I like and all you would have to do is relax and accept the pleasure.” He covered her mound with his palm, absorbing the heat and reigniting their connection. “Think about it. Let me know if you’d like a tour. Now, back to my assessment of your desire.” Moving his hand aside, he pressed his lips against her slit, teasing the moist crease with the tip of his tongue. “Not nearly as beastly as it needs to be.” He whispered the words without raising his head, his lisps brushing against her folds. “I want you dripping.”
He’d done this before and he’d wanted tonight to be different, but she obviously enjoyed oral stimulation. Besides, he loved eating pussy and Katie’s was particularly responsive. He parted her outer lips with his thumbs, allowing his tongue to glide smoothly over her silken inner folds. God, she tasted good. Clean, faintly salty, and oh so arousing. He pushed his tongue into her core and the snug muscles rippled around him. If she felt this tight around his tongue, she’d feel like a fist griping his cock. The neglected appendage bucked inside his jeans as if knowing he was destined to remain hard, at least for tonight.
If he couldn’t fuck her for real, he’d have to settle for the next best thing. Using his tongue was an appealing option, but he needed to see as well as feel. He slid one of his thumbs up to her clit, maintaining her arousal, as he reached blindly for the discarded toys. His fingers encountered something cool and smooth and he drew it closer until he could grasp it. She was soaking wet now and much more relaxed, but he still needed to be careful.
Never so happy to have his hands free, he took full advantage of her assistance. She held the backs of her knees, keeping her legs bent and her thighs spread. Her neck arched, her face upturned, hair spread out around her on the bed. She was glorious, like the willing offering to some primitive fertility God. She was lush and unabashedly sexual.
He traced her flushed slit with the glass dildo. She shivered, but made no sound. Her folds surrounded the smooth toy, guiding it inward. He watched the toy with covetous wonder, desperately longing to take its place. Her wetness eased the way, allowing him deeper and deeper into her snug passage. When the toy was fully inserted, he paused, forced to look away from the titillating sight.
God, how he wanted to fuck her, to feel the firm grip of her cunt around his cock. He shook with the need, could barely force air into his lungs. But acting on that urgency would shatter what little trust he’d managed to earn. He had to wait until she was ready.
With the dildo still lodged deep inside her, he leaned down and licked her clit. She gasped and jumped, obviously close to the edge already. “Squeeze it,” he instructed in between licks, unable to deprive himself of the wet softness of her pussy. “The fullness will make your orgasm more intense.” He drew the toy nearly out and carefully sucked on her clit as he drove it back in.
She cried out, her hips bucking wildly as her pleasure crested. Her hands slipped and she collapsed across the bed, but he was determined to keep the waves crashing. He fucked her with the toy while he licked and sucked on her clit. She grew wetter and wilder as he pushed her higher.
Soon the toy was intrusive. He needed to feel each spasm, each ripple of her pleasure. As smoothly as possible, he pulled the toy out and pushed three fingers deep inside her, flesh-in-flesh as it was meant to be. She moaned, her legs drawn up and angled out, giving him plenty of room between her thighs.
She came again, the thrill so much sweeter as her core caressed his fingers. He eagerly licked up her cream, following the slick trail into the crack between her ass cheeks.
She tensed as his tongue lightly brushed over her anus. “Don’t. I don’t like that.”
He immediately pulled away. He’d promised to stop if she asked him to, so he stopped, but the issue wasn’t resolved. The battle would simply wait for another night.
Curving his fingers so they dragged the front wall of her passage, he covered her clit with his other thumb. Then he watched her face. She looked rather dazed, delightfully disheveled. Still, he wasn’t quite finished with her.
He moved his fingers slowly, maintaining steady pressure on her clit. With each rotation, he changed the angle and position of his fingers, but her semi-relaxed expression never changed.
“I know what you’re doing and it won’t work.”
“Really?” He caught her clit between his thumb and forefinger and gave it a little squeeze. She gasped then shivered. “What am I doing?”
“Trying to find my G-spot. I don’t think I have one.”
“I haven’t met a woman yet who didn’t.” He pushed deeper and pressed a bit harder.
“That feel’s nice, but it won’t make me come.”
“I was just curious when I started. Now you’ve made it a challenge.” He pulled his fingers out then crawled back onto the bed beside her. “Turn over.”
“Your jeans stay zipped?”
He slapped her hip, his long fingers curving down onto her ass cheek. “When I give my word, I keep it. Don’t insult me again.”
She moved back to the middle of the bed and lay on her stomach, arms folded under her pillow, legs pressed together.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I’m not going to give you a massage. Hands and knees, ass in the air.”
She shot him an impatient glare. “We haven’t talked about boundaries. I don’t want you to touch me—back there.”
Her prudishness made him smile. “But you’re so damn sexy—back there.” He crawled forward and helped her into the position he’d described. She folded her knees beneath her which positioned her ass right in front of him. He squeezed both her cheeks then leaned down and nipped one just to hear her outraged gasp. “How can any mortal man keep his hands off something this arousing?” He didn’t give her time to argue. “Now fold your arms and turn your head, so I can still see your face.”
“Are you always going to be this bossy?”
“Always.” He gave her butt a firm swat and watched her react. She stilled as the heat spread through her backside. “Your face is nearly as red as your ass, Katie-cat. Somehow, I don’t think you’re embarrassed. We’ll explore this discovery in a later lesson.”
She looked back at him, lips parted, gaze smoldering. “And the other?”
He wasn’t sure what she meant. “The other what?”
Only by looking away did she find the courage to speak the words. “I’m finished being a coward. No one has ever touched my ass in a sexual way. I don’t honestly know if I’ll like it or not.”
Dillon again, the bastard. His priggish attitudes hung over Katie like smog. “It’s not evil and it won’t turn you gay. Some women come faster and harder when anal stimulation is involved. For others, it’s not pleasurable at all.”
“I’d like to try it at least once so I can decide for myself.” She sounded admirably resolute.
He forced back a chuckle, not sure she’d appreciate his amusement. “And I’ll be glad to instruct you, but not tonight. Tonight we’re on a quest to find your G-spot.”
He picked up the glass dildo and pushed it between her thighs. She squirmed. “That’s cold.”
“No, you’re hot. Seriously hot.” Her submissive position was driving him crazy. He wanted to tug down his jeans and slam his cock into her sopping-wet cunt. He was long and curved just enough to help him find the elusive G-spot. But he’d made a promise—an utterly regrettable promise. He took vows seriously. So he eased the dildo into the very place he most wanted to go.