Even though we'd only known each other for such a short time, we had built something special together. I know you must have felt it too. Coming home every evening and seeing your face was like a balm to my soul. You grounded me and gave me a purpose. Before you, I was lost--I thought I had it all, but now I realize I had nothing. My life was empty, just an endless grind of work, meetings, parties and women. I was arrogant and selfish and never considered anyone's feelings but my own.
The bet was just one example of my unchecked arrogance, and you'll never know how much I regret hurting you. I guess it's only fitting that I hurt myself more than I could have imagined.
I don't make any excuses for what I've done. There are none, but my feelings for you are sincere. They always were. It might have started out as a careless wager, but in the end, I was the one that fell. I love you, Lily. I hope you'll find it in your heart to give me another chance.
-Roman
I sat and read the letter several more times, taking it all in. It was a short letter, but it said so much. The words finally started to sink in and I let myself believe that it was real--that he really did love me. I was still scared to give him another chance and risk getting hurt again, but my mother's words kept replaying through my head. I'd have to let him prove it to me.
I arrived back in New York three days later. My mother had seen me off, and I felt good seeing her getting back to her old self. It made leaving a lot easier. I knew she'd never be the same, but that was to be expected. I would never be the same either. It was just something we'd have to adjust to.
The first thing I did was stop by Mel's apartment. I felt guilty that I'd had her car for over a month, though she never complained to me about it over the phone. I parked the car at the garage down the street from her apartment before heading there on foot. She was just walking out of her building when she spotted me across the street. I could see the surprise on her face before it lit up in a smile. She ran across the street, nearly causing an accident and wrapped me in a bear hug, squealing the whole time.
"Oh my God! You're finally back! How are you? I've missed you! So much has happened!" she gushed.
"Whoa, it's good to see you too," I said laughingly.
"Come on, let's go back up to my apartment and catch up. I've got so much to tell you," she said.
"Did you have somewhere to go? I don't want to hold you up if you're busy."
"Nah," she said waving her arm lazily in front of her. "I was just going shopping, but that can wait."
We headed back into her building and up to her apartment. Once we were inside, she led me to the living room and sat perched on her couch looking at me expectantly.
"What?" I asked.
"I can't believe you're back. You know Miguel and Doris actually had a bet about you ever coming back."
"Why does everyone make bets about me," I said dryly.
Mel looked at me uncertainly before we both burst out laughing. It was good to laugh again. When we had calmed down, she squeezed my arm and said, "I'm glad to see you still have your sense of humor."
"Thanks. I'm glad it hasn't deserted me too. But I actually do feel bad about leaving everyone hanging," I said.
I felt guilty that I'd left everyone wondering about me and Doris and Miguel worrying about their jobs.
"I told them there was no way you'd stay up in Maine. For one thing, you hated it, and for another, you still had my car," Mel said. "Where is it by the way?"
"Oh, I parked it at the garage up the street," I said. "Sorry it took so long to get back to you."
"Don't worry about it. That's what taxis and subways are for."
"So tell me what's been going on?" I asked.
Mel got an excited look on her face before she reached out and grabbed my hands. "You'll never guess! Chad asked me to move in with him."
"Oh wow!"
"Now don't look at me like that. I know exactly what you're going to say and yes I know it's moving fast, and all that, but it just feels right. I know I keep saying it, but I really think he might be the one."
"What about this place?" I asked.
"I'm still going to keep it in case things don't work out. Maybe I'll sublet it. I'm not totally without some sense, you know."
"I'm really happy for you, Mel, truly," I said smiling.
"Thanks, Lily, I knew you would be," she said. She paused, eyeing me cautiously before she spoke again. "What about you?" she asked. "Have you spoken to Roman?"
"No, I mean yes, but that was weeks ago," I said. She looked at me questioningly, so I continued. "He came up to Maine to see me. We spoke and I told him I couldn't get over what he did."
"Oh," she said sadly. "Well, if that's the way you feel then I support you 100 percent," she added.
"But the thing is..."
"Yes?"
"I...uh...maybe don't feel that way anymore," I said.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
I bit my lip trying to figure out how I was going to say this. It had been hard to admit to myself, so saying it out loud to someone else was even harder.
"I think I could forgive Roman for what he did. I want to forgive him," I rambled on. "It's just...I don't know...it's been weeks now and maybe he doesn't feel the same anymore? I mean I don't even know how I would even approach him to talk."
"You leave that to me," she said, perking up. "I know for a fact he'll be at the Hinckley exhibition tonight, and that's where we'll be too."
***
"Tell me again why I'm here tonight?" I said, turning to Mel anxiously.
"To see Roman," she said, pushing me further into the room.
We'd arrived at the Arambel Gallery in Chelsea for an exhibition opening for the latest darling of the elite art world. I had no idea who it was, but apparently they'd been getting a lot of buzz and lots of movers and shakers were here tonight. There was only one person I cared to see, though. Mel had somehow worked her magic again and gotten us into the exclusive venue which was already packed by the time we arrived.
"I don't think we'll ever find him in this crowd," I said.
I was having second thoughts about coming. I didn't want to have a talk with Roman in such a public place. Besides, I had no idea if he'd even want to see me again after I refused to give him another chance.
"We'll find him," she said brooking no argument.
Mel grabbed my hand and weaved us through the throng of people, occasionally stopping to pretend to be interested in some piece or other. After about half an hour of this, I finally dug in my heels. We were standing in a somewhat secluded section of the gallery, on the upper level, just beside the outdoor terrace.
"This is pointless. We've been through the whole gallery, I don't think he's here," I said.
"You're probably right," Mel said disappointedly. "I thought for sure he would be."
I didn't ask her where she got her information from; all I wanted was to leave. The buzzing of voices through the cavernous space was giving me a headache.
"Let's just go," I said.
"Wait!" Mel said, grabbing my arm.
Her eyes were focused on something behind me, so I turned around and nearly had the breath knocked out of me. Roman was standing outside the terrace talking to a small group of people. He looked deep in conversation and didn't seem to notice anything around him. My eyes were glued to him. It felt like every time I saw him, I was surprised anew at how handsome he was. My memories didn't do him justice. He wore a dark gray suit over a black dress shirt. The top three buttons were undone showing a hint of his chest.
"Who's he talking to?" I asked Mel.
"It looks like Costa Lambros, you know, the Greek shipping heir, and I'm not sure who that woman is," she said.
I didn't like the way that woman was standing so close to Roman. Even though they weren't touching, her stance gave off a vibe of possessiveness, as if Roman was hers. I felt a surge of jealousy come rushing through me and had to give myself a mental slap to keep from going out and confront
ing them. Roman wasn't mine anymore. I'd made that clear weeks ago when I'd told him I couldn't trust him or forgive him.
"We should go," I said suddenly turning away from the glass doors. "It was a mistake to come here."
"Are you sure? He's right outside. I'm sure he'd--"
"No, we have to go," I said, cutting her off.
My voice was getting frantic and I suddenly didn't want Roman to see me there. I didn't want him to see how much it affected me to see him with another woman. Even though I had no idea what kind of relationship they had, my mind assumed they were dating or at least sleeping together. Roman was a catch by any standard. I knew he wouldn't stay single forever, but it still stung to see he had moved on so quickly.
"All right," Mel said.
She looked out the window one last time before turning around and walking down the stairs with me. Before we had gotten halfway down, we stopped as a deep masculine voice called out my name. I glanced up to see Roman standing at the top of the stairs looking at me in shock. It was as if time stood still. We just stared at each other, lost in our own little world. I thought I could almost detect some pleasure in his expression as he looked at me.
Mel tugged on my arm, snapping me out of the trance and bringing the world back into focus and sound in an instant. My heart thumped riotously in my chest as adrenaline, hope, and fear coursed through me. Suddenly it felt like the gallery was too loud and too cramped, and I couldn't breathe.
"Are you all right?" Mel asked, looking between Roman and me worriedly.
"I don't know," I whispered breathlessly. "I think I need some fresh air."
"Let me take you up to the terrace," Roman said.
He had closed the distance between us and was standing just two steps above Mel and me. His arm was already held out, and without thinking, I took it. I walked unsteadily up the last few steps, mentally cursing myself for the way my body was trembling at his touch. We walked outside and I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. I was trying to calm my nerves, which was proving harder than I thought.
"I didn't know you were back," he said.
I turned around to face him. He stood casually with his hands in his pockets. His expression was unreadable, though I thought I might have seen a hint of emotion before he quickly shuttered it.
"I just got back today," I said.
He looked surprised before his eyes took on a gleam of amusement. "Oh? I didn't know you were such a Herb Hinckel fan."
"Who?"
"The artist whose works are being exhibited," he said, his lips twitching.
"Um...yeah, actually Mel's a big fan of his. She asked me to come with her," I lied.
I didn't know why I didn't just tell him the truth. Now was the perfect time to confess to him that I'd had second thoughts and changed my mind. I wanted to give us another chance. But something about seeing him here, looking so handsome and in the company of other women made me hold my tongue. I was afraid to put my heart on the line in case he'd already moved on. It would be too humiliating and I didn't want to see the pity in his eyes.
"I see," he said. The amusement left his eyes and he looked down at me intently. He looked like he wanted to say something and I held my breath waiting. The words never came. We were interrupted before he even began.
"There you are Roman," came a low sultry voice.
We both turned to look at the speaker. It was the woman I'd seen him with earlier. She was breathtakingly beautiful, with thick raven hair, pale blue eyes and the longest legs I'd ever seen. Her tight black dress showed off all her womanly charms, while still remaining classy. "I'd wondered where you went," she continued.
My heart sank at the sight of her. I felt like a complete frump standing there. I was grateful I hadn't confessed my feelings to Roman now that I'd seen his date. There was no way I could compete with someone like that. It was obvious that Roman had moved on to someone more suited to him.
"Brittany," Roman said. He seemed to bark out the name, which surprised me. I didn't give it much thought, though, since my only goal was to extract myself from this situation. I couldn't bear watching Roman with another woman. It was obvious that this Brittany wasn't just a friend or family member, or business partner. She was clearly interested in Roman romantically.
"So--er--it was nice running into you," I said. "I should get back to Mel."
I turned on my heel and walked back down the stairs. I wanted to break out into a run, but held myself in check until I knew I was out of their line of sight. Once I was downstairs, I searched frantically for Mel. I had to leave and go home. It was a mistake coming here tonight. What was I thinking anyways? That Roman would wait for me after I'd turned him down?
"Lily! How'd it go?" Mel asked, walking up to me excitedly. Once she saw my face, her expression changed to one of worry. She knit her brow and without a word, grabbed my hand and led us out of the cramped gallery. We hailed a taxi and I climbed in, slumping against the seat.
"I guess it didn't go well, huh?" she asked. "I thought for sure he would jump at the chance--" her voice trailed off as she let out a long sigh.
"He's moved on," I said.
"With that woman? That's just so typical. One second he's declaring his love for you and the next second he's already moved on," she bit out bitterly. Then she covered her mouth and sucked in a gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry Lily. I didn't mean it like that."
I waved off her apology. "Don't worry about."
"Did you at least get to tell him how you felt?"
"No. There was no point. What difference would it have made?"
Mel sat up and turned to me in shock. "What? Why didn't you tell him? It'd make all the difference in the world. He probably thinks he's lost you forever so he's trying to move on, but if you told him how you felt--"
"I really don't want to talk about this right now, Mel," I said rubbing my temples. I felt another headache coming on and didn't want to deal with Mel's questions at the moment. "All I want is to go back to my apartment and just rest my head. It's been a long day."
"Fine, we'll drop it for now," she said. "And you think I'm the stubborn one?" I heard her mutter under her breath a moment later.
Chapter Sixteen: Roman
Seeing Lily at the art gallery was a shock to my system. I thought I was hallucinating or imagining her walking down the stairs. So many times over the past few weeks, I thought I'd see someone who looked like her only to be disappointed when I realized it wasn't Lily. But now that I'd seen her in the flesh, I almost couldn't believe it.
"Are you listening to me, Roman?"
The question startled me out of my thoughts, and I looked up to find Brittany staring up at me, her lips pinched and her eyes narrowed.
"Sorry, what did you say?" I asked.
"I was saying that there's a new club that's just opened in Hell's Kitchen. Mischa and Eric were heading there..." she let the sentence trail.
I knew she wanted me to offer to bring her, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. Not only was I not in the mood for loud music and dancing, but I was getting tired of her company. When Rob had introduced her to me a couple of days ago, she seemed nice enough. She was actually the only woman I'd met since Lily broke up with me that I didn't find tedious and write off immediately. She seemed intelligent and sure of herself, and had a sharp, if somewhat sarcastic sense of humor.
I knew Rob was slowly trying to get me back into the dating game and had been not so subtly introducing me to any attractive female he could find. For the past couple of weeks, Rob had been getting on my case about my lack of a social life and how I'd been a downright hermit ever since I came back from Maine. To prove him wrong and shut him up, I had invited Brittany to this gallery opening on a whim.
It had been a huge mistake. Brittany couldn't be more shallow and uninteresting and I was growing increasingly bored by the minute. Her humor, which I had initially found sharp and witty, was nothing more than cynical put downs and insults disguised in the thin veil of a joke. An
d the more she clung to my arm, the more sour my mood grew.
I never realized how dull my dates had been before I met Lily. I have no idea how I'd managed a conversation with them for more than ten minutes. Sure they were beautiful, but that was about all they had going for them. It was the same old bullshit every day.
What an empty life that was. None of it fulfilled me. I'd been a walking shell of myself ever since Lily left me, just going through the motions. Outside, I'm sure I put on a good show and no one who knew me would be able to tell there was anything wrong. Inside, I was slowly wasting away. Once I knew what a real relationship was, I knew I couldn't go back to the empty existence I used to lead.
"I'm sorry, I've got to call it an early night. I've got a meeting tomorrow morning," I lied. "If you want to stay, or go to the club, I'll have my driver take you. I've got to go now."
She looked upset by my words and remained silent. I didn't stick around for her to regain her powers of speech. I'd turned my back towards her and made my way down the stairs. Outside the gallery, I hailed a cab and got inside. The driver asked me where I wanted to go and I hesitated before answering.
There was only one place I wanted to be, but I didn't know if I'd be welcome. Then again, seeing Lily tonight brought back all the feelings I'd been trying to suppress. I had told her I'd keep away from her if that's what she wanted, but now I knew that was a lie--another one to add to my list. There was no way I'd be able to stay away from her when I knew she was so close.
It must have been fate that brought her to the gallery tonight while I was there. Something about the way she looked right before she left got me curious. She looked almost hopeful, up until Brittany walked up. Could it be...? I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I had to know.
The Wager: A Billionaire Romance Page 16