by Komal Kant
Lincoln groaned and pulled away from me, his eyes flashing with annoyance. “You can’t make me stay here with you.”
“Stop avoiding me!” I cried, grabbing onto him again so he was forced to turn around. “I know you want to be close to me, but something is holding you back. Keep your secrets, I don’t care, but at least tell me how you really feel so that I don’t feel like I’m going insane!”
He paused, his face showing the internal battle that was waging within him. Finally, he nodded. “Fine, I do have feelings for you. Are you happy now?”
“Not really,” I said, folding my arms across my chest. “I…I want to be with you…I don’t want us to play games with each other.”
I had never been so direct with anyone before, but having to deal with Bennett’s deception had changed me. I was stronger now and I was willing to fight for what I wanted. And I wanted Lincoln.
“That’s why it’s better if we’re not together,” Lincoln said, pressing his eyes shut.
“You don’t believe that.” I drew closer to him. “You know, you can feel it, that we aren’t supposed to stay away from each other. We were both so closed off to everyone else, yet somehow we opened up to each other. That was not chance; that was meant to happen.”
Lincoln opened his eyes, and the sapphire in them was piercing. He moved towards me and laid a hand on my shoulder, and that’s all the confirmation I needed.
Grabbing ahold of his wet shirt, I tugged him the rest of the way towards me. Our hands were all over each other—mine was roaming his body, and his were in my hair—as our lips met in a kiss that was crippling. I lost all sense of where FFI was as my knees buckled, but Lincoln held me up and I felt my back hit cold, wet metal.
I shivered against the hood of my car but that was the least of my concern. Instead, I focused on the way Lincoln’s lips felt against mine; each kiss was crushing, full of passion and intensity that left me breathless. We barely paused for air, neither of us willing to give the other relief for too long.
Lincoln slid me up onto the hood of the car, and I wound my legs around him, pulling him so close that there was no space left between us. He had denied me for so long that not even air was going to stand in our way.
Our tongues met, our breaths became one and the same, our wet bodies slid against each other and despite the cold and the rain, I felt like I was burning hot and melting against him.
When we finally managed to pull away from one another, our bodies heaving as we gasped for air, the determination in Lincoln’s eyes was enough to convince me that this time he wasn’t going to let me go so easily.
And there was no way I would let go of him either.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lincoln
“Lincoln, where were you?” Mom demanded as soon as I stepped inside the house and shut the front door behind me.
I’d kind of been hoping that I could sneak into my room without anyone noticing, but the sound of the front door shutting had obviously signaled my arrival.
I knew I was in a lot of trouble. I was still grounded and I was supposed to come home straight after school, but I was late. I hadn’t meant to stay out for this long and had wanted to be home before anyone noticed I was missing, but time with Hadie had flown by and I’d lost track of it.
Once Hadie’s lips had met mine, all common sense had left me. My resistance at wanting to be with her had quickly dissolved and I’d given into her a lot quicker than I’d intended.
Being with her was like nothing else. She made me smile, laugh and brought out a part of me that I’d thought had disappeared a long time ago. When she’d confronted me like that, there was no way I could continue to lie to her. It was too difficult and I had finally given into my selfishness. Whatever happened as a result of that decision was something I would have to deal with.
When I spent time with Hadie, I forget about all the problems I had to face at home. Hadie was deep, thoughtful and sincere which was a lot more than I could say for my own mother.
Don’t get me wrong. Mom had my best interests at heart but that didn’t make her a good person. No, good people were like Hadie, not my Mom.
I was sure my mom cared about me, but she didn’t understand me. She knew about my situation and what I was going through, yet she always found some way to blame me for things that didn’t seem particularly important to me anymore.
There was no chance of escaping to my room, so I reluctantly forced myself to enter the kitchen where Mom and Becky were sitting at the kitchen table. Mom was flicking through a daytime soap magazine while Becky painted her nails an ugly orange color.
Mom’s jaw dropped open when she took a good look at me. “What happened to you? This is the second time this week you’ve come home soaking wet!”
“It’s raining,” I said with a shrug. “Of course I’m going to get wet.”
Becky sniggered, because she knew I was about to get into trouble, and went back to painting her snails with a sneer on her face.
“Don’t get smart with me! I specifically told you that you were grounded, yet you still went out! What’s wrong with you?” Mom asked in disbelief. “And who were you with? I heard a car pull up outside? Who drove you?”
I tried to brush off her question as though it didn’t matter who’d dropped me home. “It was just some girl from school. She was showing me around town. No big deal.”
Mom’s face was slowly turning red with each word that I was saying. It actually looked like she was expanding with anger. “NO BIG DEAL? I’ve been worried sick about you for the last two hours. I’ve been calling and messaging and I get no response, but you’re telling me that it’s no big deal! When I call you, I expect you to answer! When I message you, I expect you to reply. And when I tell you that you are grounded then you stay at home, not gallivant around a strange town with some girl you just met.”
“Only a whore would go out for hours with a guy they barely know,” Becky remarked, glancing up from her important nail-painting task. “Kance said that most small town girls are white trash.”
White hot rage exploded inside my head and I slammed my fist against the wall, making both Mom and Becky jump. “Don’t you DARE call Hadie a whore! And Kance is from a small town, so what does that make her?”
Becky’s mouth formed a sneer. “Oh, so you were with that Hadie girl, huh? I told you she was easy…”
“Becky, shut the fuck up, seriously!”
“Lincoln, that’s enough!” Mom yelled, leaping to Becky’s defense as usual. “Just because you’re going through a hard time doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want to your sister. She’s just trying to give you some advice, which is what I’m trying to do too. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”
“And why is it so hard for you to understand that I want to get out and explore this town?” I demanded.
“I’m trying to protect you, Lincoln!” Mom yelled, rising to her feet.
“Are you sure about that? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell looks like you’re trying to control me,” I spat.
Mom’s face twisted painfully. “I am done having this conversation with you. You know what the rules are and you need to follow them.”
Exhaustion sank into me and I sighed. There was no point in arguing with her. Mom would never see things my way; never understand what I was going through. Besides, I hated yelling on any given day and it never got me anywhere. They were just never going to see things my way as long as they kept thinking that they were always right. I was done with this.
“Are you finished?” I asked, turning to leave. “I need to get my homework done.”
“Why do you bother?” Becky asked. “It’s not going to get you anywhere.”
Ignoring her comment, I began to head down the hall to room as a sick feeling squirmed its way into the pit of my stomach. The sick feeling intensified until it took over me and I knew I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Half-running, half-staggering to the bath
room, I didn’t even bother to shut the door behind me as the sick feeling rose up in my throat and I threw up all over the sink. My hands gripped the edge of the sink so hard that I thought they might fall off, and hot tears stung my eyes.
Giving into Hadie made me sick. Fighting with my family made me sick. I made myself sick. I was sick and tired of all the lying, the hiding and the deceiving, but I was selfish and a coward. I was selfish for wanting a normal life. I was a coward for running away from New York.
With a shaky hand, I reached over and turned on the tap and washed out the gross feeling in my mouth before splashing my face with water several times.
Finally, I glanced up to stare at myself in the mirror. It was like there was a twisted mask covering me. I looked the same as I did every day, but my complexion was sallow, my face was a little gaunt and the blue in my eyes was a sad and melancholy color, lacking life and warmth and excitement.
A movement behind me caught my attention, and in the reflection of the mirror I could see that my mom was standing in the doorway watching me, a sad look on her face.
I straightened up and was just about to tell her I was fine when I shut my mouth. I wasn’t fine. I hadn’t been fine in a long time. Being with Hadie made me forget my problems temporarily but as soon as she left me, I was reminded of them once again.
Without another word, Mom stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. I sat down on the edge of the bathtub as she rustled around in the cabinet, looking for something. Burying my head in my hands, I wondered when I had lost such control of my life.
I wished my life wasn’t falling apart, that I could be free to do what I wanted to do and be who I wanted to be, but wishes only came true in dreams and my life was nothing but a nightmare.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hadie
“My parents want you to come over for dinner tomorrow night,” I told Lincoln as soon he approached my locker on Monday morning.
“I’m guessing you told them about us?” He leaned against the locker beside me and folded his arms across his chest. The motion made his arm muscles bulge and for a second I forgot what we were talking about.
I told myself to snap out of it because I was acting like a silly, giddy school girl. Okay, so I was a school girl but I didn’t want to be one of those girls whose life revolved around their boyfriend. At least, I was pretty sure Lincoln was my boyfriend.
“I tell them everything,” I said, shutting my locker.
It was a relief to find my locker graffiti-free this morning. I guess Lincoln really had scared off whoever had been vandalizing it.
For a second, I was content as I gazed into Lincoln’s calming azure eyes. This was the happiest I had been in a very long time. Everything felt right, the way it should be. Lincoln had been that last puzzle piece that my life had been missing and now that I had found him, everything just clicked.
A smile played around Lincoln’s mouth. “Did you tell them how you mauled me in my car on Saturday night?”
“Hey!” I said, smacking him on his arm. “I did not maul you! I was being…friendly.”
His eyes twinkled as he pulled me into his arms, lifting me off my feet and crushing his lips against mine. If we hadn’t been in school, I probably would’ve tried to take his shirt off. Actually, taking his shirt off sounded like a mighty fine idea, so I grabbed the bottom of it and slid my hand under it until I felt the firmness of his stomach muscles.
Thankfully, Lincoln had way more self-control than I did, because he laughed and placed me back on my feet. “I realize that I am probably the sexiest guy you’ve ever met, but you can’t take my clothes off until you buy me dinner, Hades.”
I placed a hand to my cheek and gasped, feigning offence. “How dare you, Mr. Bracks! I am a lady and I would never place myself in a compromising situation with a man who isn’t my betrothed.”
Laughing at my over-exaggerated Southern accent, Lincoln shook his head and kissed my forehead. “What did I do before you walked into my life?”
“Watch trashy reality TV?”
“Yeah, the Real Housewives is definitely my favorite,” he said quite seriously.
With a laugh, I turned to study his face, determined to memorize every inch of it. His tan complexion—though a lot more pallid than usual—was complemented by his straight, white teeth and those thick, dark lashes of his that framed the most beautiful shade of blue eyes I’d ever seen.
Lincoln’s looks were only an added bonus, because he was so much more than his looks gave him credit for. He was sweet, funny, kind, caring, and he loved me. Well, at least I think he did. He sure acted like it. I was pretty sure I was at least fifty percent in love with him.
I’m not sure what I’d done to deserve a guy as amazing as him, but I decided right here and now that I wasn’t going to let him go. Ever. I would stay with him for as long as he would put up with me. I would stay with him forever if I could.
“Hadie! Lincoln!” The familiar voice of my best friend caught my attention and I turned around, with Lincoln’s arm still around me.
As I turned, the arrival of my three best friends wasn’t the only thing that caught my attention. Bennett was standing against the opposite wall, unmasked fury clear on his face. That look froze my insides, but Lincoln’s arm around me was reassuring, so I bit down the anxiety that was building up within me.
Bennett didn’t matter to me anymore. I was over him for good.
Mariah and Lana’s mouth dropped open as they looked from between Lincoln and me, unable to hide their disbelief.
“Oh my God!” Mariah squealed. “Oh my God, no way!”
“You and Lincoln are dating!” Lana said, her smile shaken. “That is sooo cute!”
If the students filling the hallway hadn’t noticed Lincoln and me before, they definitely had now. Pretty much everyone was ogling us and I really wanted to sink through the floor and disappear.
Thankfully, Estella was her usual calm self and gave us one of her dazzling smiles. “Hey, Hadie, Lincoln, how was your weekend?”
Lincoln was the one who responded as the five of us began heading down the corridor to our classes. I caught another glimpse of Bennett through the crowd, but ignored him completely.
All day, that look on Bennett’s face bugged me. I couldn’t tell Estella, Lana or Mariah about it because Lincoln sat with us at lunch and I didn’t want him to be annoyed that I was talking about my ex-boyfriend.
By the time I got to work, all thoughts of Bennett were forgotten as I became distracted by the broken ice cream machine. After following all the instructions on the manual and declaring it unfixable, I made a call to Belle, even though it was her day off, and told her about my ice cream machine woes. Belle ensured me she would have someone swing by to fix it the next morning, and I finally staggered into the kitchen, completely exhausted even though it was only seven o’clock.
“Are you alright?” Eddie asked, as I collapsed into a nearby chair.
“Just tired,” I said, rubbing my temples in an effort to ward off the migraine I could feel heading my way.
Eddie put down the frying pan he’d had in his hand and walked over to me. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. My mom usually has food for me when I get home.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Aw, shucks. There’s no way I could compete with your mom’s cooking.”
“She is a pretty amazing cook,” I agreed with a nod.
Eddie pulled up a chair and sat across from me, his hazel eyes a little wide. “So, um, I was wondering if you like music and stuff.”
It was a random question to ask considering we’d just been talking about my mom.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” I said with a shrug. “Why?”
Eddie pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me, his fingers shaking a little. I unfolded the paper and saw that it was a flyer. ‘SKEPTIC COIL’ was written across it in big, bold letters,
and there was a black and white image of Eddie, Luca, and Riley Adamson. The flyer informed me they were performing at the local bar, Benny’s.
I looked up at him in surprise. “Oh, wow, you guys have a gig in town? That’s awesome!”
Eddie shrugged nonchalantly. “Ashton organized it for us. She knew a guy who knew a guy who knows Benny, so she managed to get us a gig there. They’re gonna pay us and everything.”
“Wow, that is so cool.” The idea of ex-cheerleader Ashton Summers organizing a performance for a rock band was bizarre, but considering she was dating Luca Byron nothing really surprised me anymore.
“So, will you come?” Eddie asked in earnest, leaning forward.
A grin spread across my face and I glanced down at the flyer again. “Of course I’ll come! Friday at eight, huh? I’ll have to get someone to cover my shift, but it should be fine. Is it okay if I bring a friend?”
I figured since Lincoln and I were dating now, we could make this our first official date as a couple. Lincoln was always telling me to try new things so this would be something fun we could do together.
I’d never been to Benny’s before, even though it was the only bar in town that allowed under 18’s in as long as they were supervised by an adult. That was the rule anyway, but they were pretty lax about it.
Bars weren’t really my thing but I knew from other people having been there that normally country music or folk rock was the crowd pleaser. It would be interesting to see a punk rock bad hitting the stage.
“Bring as many people as you like,” Eddie said graciously, a smile lingering on his lips. He leaned in a little closer, his eyes glued to mine. The expression on his face was so serious, so intense that I couldn’t fathom what could possibly be on his mind.
Feeling confused, I quickly stood up, tucking the flyer into the back pocket of my jeans just as the door to the kitchen swung open.
Laura stuck her head in and her eyes found me. There was a look of excitement on her face. “Hadie, I need you. We have a customer and you’ll never guess who it is! Oh, and that stupid bell fell off the door. You gotta tie it back up.”