by Komal Kant
Sammy, who actually was a cheerleader, was tall and tanned with long, blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Rick, Neil, Derek, and I had all been on the football team together. Rick and I looked so alike that we could easily be mistaken as brothers. We shared the same shade of brown hair, though his was longer, and almost identical colored blue eyes. Neil, with his shaggy blonde hair, had a surfer look about him, while Derek was big and broad-shouldered with a shock of white-blonde hair.
Back at my old high school in New York we made up the “popular” group of kids. Becky, who was always desperate for attention, resented me for that reason. Honestly, being popular wasn’t all it was cut out to be. My friends and I had been jerks.
Derek and I would keep a tally of all the girls we’d hooked up or slept with. Sammy was hell-bent on being the “Queen Bee” of our school. Rick flaunted his money and his name to get us into clubs. Neil was the only one who’d been mellower than the rest of us. He was popular but didn’t care that much for it.
Things had changed, though. Things always changed.
What happened to me in our junior had changed all of us in some small way. Being popular didn’t matter to me anymore. Not in the slightest. I preferred solitude. It gave me time to think about life—about the things that had defined me as a person up until this point in my life.
My friends had been affected by it too. They had changed a little, but I could see that the distance from me had more or less returned them to their old selves. Maybe that was a good thing. I wasn’t holding them back anymore. They could go on with their lives—live fast, be stupid, play hard. That’s the way they should be.
The only ones who hadn’t changed were my own family. Dad still hid behind Mom like he was a shadow of a person, afraid to make his own decisions or voice his thoughts. Mom still clung to her bigotry, her coldness and her refusal to let anyone in. Becky still wasn’t feeling the weight of what was going on. She resented me from taking the attention away from her, for making us move to a small town. She would never forgive me for that.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Hadie,” Sammy said with a smile. “Lincoln talked about you non-stop today.”
“Yeah, like how you’re the smartest girl in school,” Derek said. “And the prettiest and the nicest…”
Hadie finally relaxed and managed a smile. “Lincoln has this way of only listing my good qualities and conveniently leaving out the bad.”
I noticed Mom scowl at this as she pushed her chair away from the table and stood up. “What would everyone like to eat? Statlen is nothing like New York, so don’t expect many delivery options.”
My friends looked around at each other and shrugged. They didn’t know much about this small town so I doubted they would have any ideas.
“The only place that delivers is the pizzeria,” Hadie spoke up.
“Pizza sounds great,” I said with a tight smile.
“Ugh, what is that on your shoulder?” Mom asked suddenly, pointing at Hadie.
Hadie looked visibly confused as she stared down at where Mom was pointing. I looked around just in time to see Hadie brush some fluff off her shoulder.
“It’s just some fur,” Hadie said with a nervous laugh. “I have a dog.”
“Disgusting animals,” Mom said with a shudder as she reached for the phone.
“I love dogs,” I said, coming to Hadie’s defense.
“Me too,” Samantha said with a bright smile. “What kind of a dog do you have, Hadie?”
Feeling relieved that Sammy had jumped in and saved the situation from going sour, I glanced around the room with that tight smile still lingering on my face as Hadie and Sammy spoke.
I was feeling tense from Hadie’s encounter with my parents and Becky, but at least Hadie seemed to have recovered and was now back to her usual good-natured self. I was going to ask her about Bennett later on when we got a chance to be alone. Maybe that was what had been bothering her earlier on.
Hadie had already told Bennett to stay away from her and there was no way she was harboring any romantic feelings for him. Things between them were over and clearly Bennett was having a hard time accepting him. I knew the type of guy he was. I used to be that guy once—thinking that girls should bend over backwards to be with me, that I could treat them however I wanted, that I could have anyone I wanted.
Bennett was the same person I’d been in New York. He couldn’t handle Hadie’s rejection, but it was something he’d have to deal with. Hadie was my girlfriend; she wasn’t Bennett’s property. She didn’t belong to him.
Sometimes I knew she didn’t belong with me either, but that was something I’d have to face another day.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Hadie
Benny’s was exactly how I’d pictured it to be.
It reeked of booze, sweat and the inside of a smokeaholic’s mouth, the majority of the patrons were leering drunks and there were girls dressed in short, provocative clothing standing close to the makeshift stage.
I immediately felt like a tadpole out of water.
What the heck was I doing here? Sure, I’d told Eddie that I’d come out and support him, but a girl like me didn’t belong in a place like this. I belonged in the romance section of Barnes & Noble or, at the very least, on Amazon browsing for the latest book deals.
Despite being accompanied by Lincoln, his four friends and his sister, I didn’t feel secure in the small group. I was out-of-place in my own town while the six outsiders were laughing and joking like they were regulars at Benny’s. How did that work?
If Eddie wasn’t such a good friend, I would’ve hightailed out of this stinky place without a second thought. Eddie’s friendship and Lincoln’s firm hand on my back were the only two things still keeping me in here.
“So, you’re friends with the drummer?” Samantha asked me over all the noise.
An unfamiliar country song was just ending as she leaned over the tiny table that the seven of us were occupying, her eyes glittering with interest. Her eyes weren’t the only ones glittering with interest. Most of the men in the bar were checking Samantha out like she was the best thing to walk in here. I couldn’t blame them. Boy, was Samantha beautiful.
When I’d first seen her at Lincoln’s house, I’d immediately felt insecure by how stunning she was—long, golden blonde hair fell in loose waves around her shoulders, piercing eyes that were the color of the sky on a clear day, and a smile that made you want to know her.
It was clear that she and Lincoln were close and it made me wonder if there’d ever been anything more between them. It was a silly, childish thought but I still wondered about it nevertheless. Call it female curiosity.
I nodded back at her. “Yeah, Eddie works with me at the diner. His band played out of state and got a great response, so our town’s more accepting of them now. They even have groupies.”
“Ugh, you work in a diner?” Rick asked, making a face as he regarded me the way one might regard a dead roach. Obviously, he felt like I wasn’t good enough for his friend.
Rick looked so much like Lincoln that at first I’d thought they were related. In the car, Lincoln had assured me that Rick wasn’t his secret, illegitimate brother. Still, the resemblance between the two was uncanny.
They were both tall, broad-shouldered, muscular and had blue eyes and dark brown hair. They even had the same straight nose and firm jaw. The only difference I could find was their smiles. When Rick smiled, that was when all the similarities vanished for me. His smile was smug, like he knew he was better than everyone else and we were lucky enough to be able to breathe the same air as him.
Lincoln’s smile made me feel warm and gooey inside, like I’d inhaled too much caramel toffee. When he smiled, it felt like it was only meant for me—like it was home.
“So diner, huh?” Samantha asked, her eyes gleaming as she looked between Lincoln and me. “Is that where you met Link?”
I hesitated at her tone of voice. She had been all smiles up until now, bu
t it was clear that she didn’t approve of my relationship with Lincoln. Just like his mother so obviously didn’t.
My heart sank like a stone.
If Samantha and Lincoln had ever dated then it would explain the look she was giving me right now. Samantha was probably a jilted ex. Maybe she’d come to visit Lincoln in hopes of rekindling their relationship, but I’d gotten in the way. She probably saw me as a boring, frumpy, plain girl. I bet she was wondering why someone like Lincoln was with me when he could be with her.
Call me stupid, but sometimes I wondered the same thing.
“We met in school,” Lincoln said, casually draping his arm over my shoulder. “I already told you that, Sammy.”
Samantha’s gaze shot to Lincoln’s arm. Her mouth formed a tight line and she shrugged. “Sorry, I must’ve forgotten. You’ve dated a lot of girls, Link. It’s hard to keep track of all of them.”
Oh, wow. What the heck?
Lincoln stiffened beside me, and I could tell that her comment had hit a soft spot with him. He obviously hadn’t expected his best friend to bring up his dating history like that. It was weird that she had brought it up at all. It was like she was trying to put me off, trying to get into my head and make me feel like I was just one of the many girls that Lincoln had dated.
I bit down on my bottom lip, my chest filling with anxiety. I was already feeling crap after meeting Lincoln’s parents and already hating that Becky had told Lincoln about my encounter with Bennett. It was something I’d much rather have told him in private. The way Becky had said it had made it seem like there was more going on with Bennett and me than there really was.
And now Lincoln’s best friend, and possibly ex-girlfriend, was acting like she didn’t want me to be with Lincoln. I didn’t know how much more of this I could handle.
An awkward silence set in and no one else said anything. Becky was too busy fawning over Neil, who looked like he’d rather be anywhere else than here. Neil was an attractive guy and had a surfer look about him. I could see why Becky was interested in him, but I couldn’t see how she didn’t realize that he wasn’t into her at all.
Really, Neil just seemed like he was too nice to tell her to leave him alone.
“Holy shit,” Derek suddenly said, looking past me and into the crowd. “Check her out.”
I didn’t bother turning around. I didn’t have an interest in whoever Derek was ogling. He hadn’t said much to me and I could tell it was because he felt like I didn’t belong in their group. He was molded from the same substance that Bennett and his friends were. All they cared about was sleeping with girls, playing football, and partying.
Derek seemed to be the same, and it worried me that Lincoln had a friend like that. It made me wonder what he had been like before he’d come to Statlen. He definitely wasn’t the same anymore; that was clear. Still, I couldn’t help but picture what his old life in New York City had been like. Would he ever have given a girl like me the time of day? Would he ever have dated someone like me?
I studied Lincoln’s profile, as all these questions swam around in my head. He was so quiet, so observant, so withdrawn.
If he’d ever been as gregarious as Derek or as obnoxious as Rick, it was a time long ago. Something had happened to him which had changed him. It was something that had to do with why he’d initially told me to stay away from him. It was something huge.
I didn’t know how that made me feel, knowing that my boyfriend was keeping a secret from me. I guess everyone had their secrets, something that was ingrained so deep that it didn’t feel like a secret anymore—it had become a way of living.
That was what Lincoln was like now. His secret had become a part of his life. Something he was so used to keeping from everyone that it had become as easy as breathing.
“Are you kidding me?” Becky asked, her tone full of disbelief. “That’s Ashton Summers. She’s a total loser. That’s what Kance said.”
It was ironic that Lana had said more or less the same thing to me. Kance was a serial brain washer.
The mention of Ashton’s name made me turn around and search the crowd for signs of the leggy blonde. She was easy to spot because, just like Samantha and me, she looked completely out of place in this bar.
Ashton caught my eye, waved and began walking towards our table.
“It’s good to see you can think for yourself, Becky,” Lincoln said in a disapproving tone.
“Do you know her, Hadie?” Rick was staring at me wide-eyed, no doubt wondering how I was acquainted with someone who looked like that, while I looked like this.
“She was best friends with my ex,” I said, simply.
His earlier scorn towards me about working in a diner had rubbed me the wrong way and I wasn’t willing to go into an in-depth conversation with him.
“Well, whoever she is, she’s going home with me tonight,” Derek said, giving Ashton the same look that all the men in the bar had been giving Samantha moments earlier.
“I really doubt it,” I said a-matter-of-factly. “She’s dating the lead singer of Skeptic Coil.”
“Oh, fuck that,” Derek growled, his eyes following Ashton’s every move as she finally made it to our table.
“Hi, Hadie.” Ashton was flanked by Yuki Kishida and Kendall Olsen who were both cheerleaders. Both girls had bright eyes as they took in the boys sitting at the table. If Yuki and Kendall were infamous for something, it was for being boy-crazy.
“Hey,” I said with a smile. “There’s a decent crowd in here tonight. The boys must be excited.”
Ashton nodded. “They actually have groupies now. It’s so bizarre that a month ago no one knew who the heck they were.”
“Fame is like a long, winding road. You keep chasing it, but it’s always out of reach,” Derek said, his face deathly serious.
If he was trying to be deep, he had failed miserably. It was one of the most epic failures I’d ever had the misfortune of seeing. I actually felt embarrassed for him. Obviously, he wasn’t going to let a small obstacle like Ashton having a boyfriend deter him from hitting on her.
Everyone burst out laughing at Derek’s pathetic attempt to be deep and meaningful. Derek’s face turned a deep red, but he still managed to give Ashton an enticing smile.
Ashton stared at him, her expression puzzled. “Um, okay then.” Her eyes fell on me and Lincoln and she pursed her lips when she saw the way his arm rested on my shoulder.
Her look both surprised and unsettled me because Ashton and I had never had any problems in the past. Why had she reacted like that at seeing the two of us together? Did I look so completely out of his league for Ashton to wonder why Lincoln was with me?
“I don’t think we’ve met before,” Yuki burst out, her eyes planted firmly on Neil. She flipped her long, silky hair over her shoulder flirtatiously. “I’m Yuki.”
“Neil,” Neil said with a nod, looking bored. It was strange how he didn’t seem the slightest bit interested in all the attention the girls were giving him. I was pretty sure if Mariah had been here she would have wanted to lick his skin off.
Lincoln introduced the rest of his friends and thankfully we didn’t have to put up with Becky and Yuki’s battle to win over Neil for any longer, because Skeptic Coil took to the stage and a hush fell over the bar.
Eddie sat down behind the drums, and Riley held his bass guitar like it was a weapon. The boys looked more than ready to perform; to show the town that had mocked them how amazing they really were.
Luca Byron, the final one to take his position, could command a stage like no other. Even I was holding my breath as I watched him push strands of his long-ish brown hair out of his face. He wore black skinny jeans and a black fitted shirt that had Skeptic Coil printed across the front in a blazing red font. The t-shirt fit him well, showcasing his lean, muscular build and the tattoos that adorned his arms. I saw the groupies by the stage staring up at him in adoration—it was actually pretty funny.
Luca’s eyes swept the crowd in front of
him until they fell on Ashton who still stood by our table. He seemed calmer somehow and leaned into the microphone to speak.
“This first song is for my girl, Ashy. It’s a little something I like to call Sky Eyes.”
Skeptic Coil launched into their first song, much to the pleasure of the squealing groupies who were trying to grab the bottom of Luca’s jeans every time he got to the edge of the stage.
I rolled my eyes at their antics and let my ears adjust to the music. It definitely wasn’t my kind of music, but Luca had a really nice voice that was easy on the ears.
“You have no chance in hell,” Samantha said loudly to Derek who was still eyeing Ashton up like she was something good to eat.
Derek scowled at the stage where Luca was completely engrossed in the song he was singing. Samantha was right. Derek had no chance with Ashton while Luca was still in the picture. Luca was a rarity, just like Lincoln was.
I turned my head to see Lincoln’s attention focused on the stage, a smile on his face as he nodded in time to the music. Despite Derek’s aversion to Luca, the rest of Lincoln’s friends seemed to be enjoying the music. That was a plus, I guess.
I missed having my friends here with me but Estella wasn’t interested in going to a bar, and there was no way I was going to forgive Mariah and Lana for what they had done to me. Especially Lana.
After a few more songs, I could tell Skeptic Coil was about to wrap things up. They’d been playing for almost thirty minutes now.
“This last song,” Luca said, sweat glistening on his forehead, “was written by our drummer, Eddie.”
My ears perked up at the sound of Eddie’s name and I pressed forward in my seat, eager to hear the kind of song sweet, sensitive Eddie had written.
“It goes out to a special someone here tonight,” Luca said, his tone mysterious. “It’s called Falling for You.”
As the music started up, I could tell that this was going to be a little slower than the others songs they’d played. It was just like Eddie to come up with something that was so soothing and romantic.