The Sapphire Widow

by Dinah Jefferies

  Louisa nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course. It’s unthinkable.”

  There was a short silence.

  “Anyway, tell me,” Margo said. “How are you?”

  “Honestly? I don’t know. Some days I feel numb. As if everything is far away from me. Or that I’m not even me. But it’s become even more complicated, you see. I’ve found out Elliot doesn’t appear to have any shares in Cinnamon Hills, after all.”

  “No!”

  Louisa nodded. “Well, that was what Leo said.”

  “Can you trust him?”

  “I thought so. I liked him and why would he lie?”

  “It would benefit him to maintain full control of his business, wouldn’t it?”

  “I suppose so. Anyway, I have no idea where the money went and I have no idea where Elliot really was when he said he was at the plantation.” She paused, unsure how to say it. “It hurts to feel I didn’t really know my husband.”

  “You poor thing. But how very strange.”

  “Isn’t it. Anyway, he bought the old Print House shortly before you came back from London. He never got a chance to show it to you. We planned to renovate it and turn it into an emporium selling jewelry and other crafts.”

  “Are you sure you’re up to it? It’ll take a lot of energy.”

  “I don’t know.” She sighed deeply. “Grief is terribly exhausting, but I must do something!”

  “It would be a focus, I suppose.”

  “That’s my view.”

  She noticed Margo didn’t speak and something flickered over her sister-in-law’s face.

  “What about you, Margo? I mean not only about Elliot, but also your man in London. William, wasn’t it?”

  Margo took a deep breath before she spoke. “If only he was my man. But I do miss him terribly. Not like me to be so sentimental, is it?”

  “It’s a loss all the same.”

  “Yes. Though of course the loss of Elliot is far worse. I still can’t really believe it.”

  “I know. Every day I expect to see him coming through the door.”

  They drank their tea in silence, slapping at the flies attempting to land on their hair. Margo closed her eyes and seemed to be thinking. When she opened them she smiled. “So now, I think we need cheering up. The question is, what shall we do for the rest of the day?”

  Louisa sighed. “Well, there’s work to do on the Print House.”

  “Let it wait. Let’s get away from Galle and go to one of the south coast beaches. I fancy a swim, away from prying eyes.”

  * * *

  —

  They drove along the coast road past the wild hyacinths and mangrove trees, and then the coconut palms fronting the golden shore, eventually stopping at a turn-off for the beach at the base of the Cinnamon Hills plantation.

  As she parked the car Louisa couldn’t help thinking of Leo. Part of her wanted to storm back up there now to insist he tell her the truth about the shares. Surely he had been lying? After all, Margo was right, it would be to his advantage to conceal shares owned by Elliot. But she’d need to wait. Once she had withdrawn the money from Elliot’s separate deposit account, it would give her an excuse to go.

  She gazed around her at the palm-fringed shore and the sandy beach littered with seashells and then, out beyond the shallows, the coral reefs. Small brightly painted fishing boats bobbed on the deep blue water, but luckily the beach itself was empty, so they had the place to themselves.

  “Beat you to the water,” Margo said as she stripped off her clothes to reveal a swimming costume beneath.

  “Unfair advantage. I’ve still got to change.”

  “I win!” Margo shouted as she ran down across the silvery sand to the water’s edge. Once she had plunged into the water and begun to swim, Louisa changed and followed her down, whooping as she felt the soft chill of water on her skin. It was wonderful to be in the water so soon after the lake. Perhaps that would be the answer—a daily swim to ease out the knots in her neck and shoulders.

  She began swimming after Margo, but couldn’t catch up. Margo was an ace swimmer and though Louisa could swim well, she was unable to match Margo’s superior strength. After a while Louisa lay on her back and angled her head to look at the palm trees before gazing at the sea again.

  The sun speckled gold all over the water and the sky shone a seamless pale blue. Everything was silent apart from the slooshing sound of the gentle waves and the squawk of the occasional seabird. If only life could always be like this, she thought and began to swim back to the water’s edge. She sat in the shallows, letting the water wash over her legs, and then she stretched out her arms to the sky. Thank you for this, she whispered. Thank you. And when she remembered being so in love with Elliot as they had watched the turtles wading on to this very beach to lay their eggs, she didn’t feel sad. She stayed like that for several minutes and only gradually became aware of a sound behind her. She shook her hair and twisted around.

  “Oh,” she said when she saw him in his bathing suit. “Hello.”

  “I swim here,” Leo said, pushing the hair back from his eyes. “I hope you don’t mind?”

  Despite what she had been thinking earlier about storming up to him to demand the truth, she managed to smile up at him. “No. Of course not.”

  As he plunged into the water, she noticed how supple he was. Seeing such a well-defined body, you could tell he worked on the land and not in an office. She watched as he swam smoothly through the surf. When he had finished, he came out to dry himself.

  “I’m here with my sister-in-law,” she said. “You can just about see her out there.”

  He shaded his eyes with his hand while he looked. “Ah yes.”

  “Never seems to tire, but I hope she doesn’t go out any farther.”

  “And how are you?” he said. “Are you coping?”

  She nodded. “It’s so gorgeous here, isn’t it?”

  Neither of them spoke during a too-long silence, and she felt a little self-conscious with him standing there so close and her sitting in just her wet swimming costume.

  “Swimming is such a release,” he eventually said, as he squatted down beside her. “Life gets fraught on the plantation. I get too bound up in it.”

  “Perhaps you need a social life.”

  “Maybe.”

  “What about your cousin? Do you see much of her?”

  “Zinnia? Yes, I see her.”

  “I didn’t know her name, but I think I saw her the last time I was there.”

  He glanced away and seemed to her a little uneasy. She couldn’t say exactly why; it might just have been the pulse in his jaw and the way he didn’t meet her eyes.

  “She seemed upset,” she added, hoping he’d say more.

  He nodded and then got up too quickly, his arm brushing hers. She felt a distinct shiver and couldn’t help thinking he had stopped himself from saying something.

  She swallowed her indecision and looked up at him as she spoke. “About those shares. Are you certain Elliot had none? There will be records somewhere, if he did.”

  He gazed at her. “I realize this must be difficult for you but, Louisa, I promise you. He really had no shares.”

  She met his eyes and then nodded.

  “I’m afraid I have to get back.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well…Hope to see you around?”

  “Yes,” she said again, because in spite of everything she couldn’t help wishing he’d stay a little longer.

  “Take care of yourself.” Then he turned his back and began striding toward the road.

  A moment later Louisa looked out to sea to check on Margo’s progress and was taken aback to see she was in trouble. She was attempting to swim back to the shore but was waving frantically with one arm and seemed to be treading water.

 
“Leo! Help!” Louisa shouted as she got onto her feet then raced deeper into the water. She heard his feet pounding the sand as he ran to catch up with her.

  “Swim out to Margo with me, please! I don’t know what’s wrong. It’s not like her.”

  Louisa began swimming but with a faster front crawl Leo quickly reached Margo, who was now spluttering and gasping for air. He grabbed her under the arms and then swam on his back, holding her against him with one arm, until they reached the shallows. Then he put her down and she hopped awkwardly over to Louisa, who was now out of the water too.

  “You went out too far,” Louisa said.

  Margo took a deep breath and rubbed her leg. “I’m fine now.”

  “Honestly, Margo! You need to be more careful.”

  “I’ve never had a cramp before.” She turned to Leo. “Thank you for being my knight in shining armor.”

  He inclined his head. “I’m glad you’re safe. I’m Leo, by the way, Leo McNairn. Owner of Cinnamon Hills.”

  “Well, thank you,” Margo said with a smile, and then resumed rubbing her calf muscle. “We read about you, didn’t we, Louisa?”

  He grinned. “Really? And where was that?”

  Margo glanced at Louisa. “At the library, wasn’t it?”

  Louisa nodded and felt embarrassed, as if she’d been caught out being nosy.

  “Anyway, thank you again for your gallant rescue,” Margo continued.

  He helped Margo walk until they were all safely sitting on the sand. He glanced across at Louisa. Unable to fathom what he was thinking, she looked away and gazed behind her at dozens of lanky coconut palms, then farther back at the little shacks of the fishermen. After a moment, she twisted around to face the water again and while she watched the seabirds—egrets, herons, sandpipers and kingfishers—she thought about what he’d said. No shares.

  After a while he spoke to Margo. “Does it feel better?”

  Margo nodded.

  * * *

  —

  On the journey home, Margo was full of Leo and how chivalrous he had been, until Louisa almost began to regret their trip to the beach. And yet she couldn’t help feeling pleased at having seen him again. There was something about him that made her feel that things might not be so bad. That the darkness might not fall and she might not slip off the cliff edge, after all.

  “I think you’re smitten,” she said, raising her brows at Margo.

  “Well, do you blame me? He’s gorgeous. I love the lean rugged type. So, what did you two talk about while I was busy drowning?”

  “Nothing. I asked him about the shares once more, but he said again there were none.”

  Louisa had been to the Print House with Margo and drawn up some initial plans. She still hadn’t found the key to the locked room and decided she would have to ask a locksmith to force the lock at some point.

  Margo had gone for a bicycle ride while Louisa pored over the plans, now laid out on a coffee table in the downstairs sitting room. She was hoping to construct four different rooms or departments. Added to these, there would be a circular central counter where some of the more expensive sapphire jewelry would be displayed and sold. Archways would open into the individual spaces, which would be destined for less costly jewelry in one, hand-carved woodwork in another, and silk products in the third. There might even be two rooms of jewelry if she could find enough jewelers to participate. She had decided to name the emporium Sapphire, as Ceylon was especially renowned for the quality of its beautiful sapphires. Soon she would need to organize extensive insurance and ensure all the locks and windows were secured with grilles too.

  She was attempting to draw the building’s exterior but decided she needed to check on it again, having spotted something in the drawing that didn’t look right. Just when she was concentrating, Ashan entered the room and told her there was a gentleman to see her.

  “Well, show him in,” she said rather irritably, running a palm over her hair and feeling annoyed at the intrusion, though she was instantly sorry to have been short with Ashan. His loyalty had never been in doubt, and she had always tried to treat him with respect. Surprised when Leo walked into the room, she stood immediately and then held out a hand.

  He held it briefly.

  “I’m afraid I haven’t been to Colombo yet to withdraw the money Elliot left you.”

  “It isn’t that,” he said, standing with his hands gripping a leather hat and twisting the rim round and round, looking so stiff and awkward she couldn’t help thinking he’d prefer to be elsewhere.

  “Would you like some tea?”

  With a somber look, he shook his head. “No.” He paused. “Maybe we could talk in the garden?”

  “Of course. I’ll just get my sunhat.”

  She slipped into the hall to retrieve her hat and then they went outside via the French windows. The peaceful garden glittered in the sunshine and a slight breeze rustled the leaves. The three dogs followed them out and lay down to pant in the shade, tongues lolling. She refilled their water bowl from an outdoor tap and placed it on the ground in front of them.

  “So,” she said as they walked on.

  She saw him swallow nervously—he seemed to be gathering his courage. “It’s about my cousin, Zinnia.”

  “Oh?”

  “I’m afraid she’s ill, and there’s nobody looking after her son, Conor.”

  “I didn’t know she had a son.”

  “He’s seven. A sweet little thing who lives in his own little made-up world. Zinnia teaches him at home and so he rarely sees other children. I do what I can to help.” He took a breath. “She has a divorced friend, you see, who brings her daughter from time to time, but that’s all. I think she feels she and Zinnia are both a little outside ‘normal’ society. To be honest, things aren’t really satisfactory. Conor runs wild at the best of times but now…”

  She had never heard him say so much in one go before and felt surprised by it. “I’m sorry to hear it, but why are you telling me?”

  “Well, that’s the difficult part.” He suddenly stopped and there was an odd little pause.

  She didn’t speak. Whatever it is, it should unfold at its own pace, she thought.

  He began to talk again. “But, after seeing you at the beach, I felt I had to speak up.”

  “Shall we sit in the shade,” Louisa said. “I’m getting hot.”

  They moved to the shady area and sat together on a bench. The garden felt unnervingly quiet and now she sensed there was something a bit strange about Leo coming to see her like this.

  “So?”

  “I believe the money your husband left me was actually meant for Zinnia.”

  She felt a slight chill despite the heat of the day and gave him a long, hard look. Rooted to the spot, she waited for him to speak again.

  “There’s no easy way to say this…”

  “Go on.”

  “Conor is Elliot’s son, Louisa.”

  She gasped and blinked rapidly. The garden seemed to shiver and now she was aware of her heart knocking in her chest so loudly she was amazed he couldn’t hear it.

  He shook his head and stared at the ground. “I know this must be hard to hear.”

  A long uncomfortable silence deepened while Louisa reeled from this. Confused by the vision of Elliot’s face, still clear in her mind, and the look in his eyes, the warmth, the love, it was impossible to take it in.

  “That’s why Elliot used to come to the plantation so often,” Leo eventually said, glancing up at her.

  “Conor is Elliot’s son? That’s what you’re telling me?” She felt a dozen emotions collide within her and such a burst of heat she felt she might pass out.

  “Yes.”

  It couldn’t be true. Elliot would never have done such a thing. And hearing Elliot’s voice in her head, she refused to beli
eve it. “You can’t mean this.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “How can you lie to me like this?” she said. “Why are you doing this?”

  He gazed at her. “I thought you had a right to know.”

  “No! First you say there are no shares, something I still find hard to believe, and now you tell me this.”

  There was another profound silence. The words she wanted to say thickened and refused to spill. She felt as if she’d never be able to breathe again.

  “Louisa, I…”

  “No.” She held up a hand. “Don’t say a thing.”

  She rose to her feet and moved away to stand with her back to him. “You expect me to believe Elliot went to the plantation to see her? He had no shares. It was all her?”

  He didn’t reply.

  “You didn’t think to tell me this before?” She twisted around to glance back at him, desperately trying to prevent the choking sensation in her tightening throat and silently entreating him to say it wasn’t true.

  He shook his head miserably. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but it’s true he came to see Conor, and Zinnia too, of course.”

  Louisa felt tears burning her lids, but carried on staring at him. Time seemed to accelerate backward, and she saw Elliot’s smiling eyes as he gave her that last bunch of flowers. Now she felt they had only been to assuage his guilt. As if flowers could make up for this. She promised herself she would not cry in front of Leo and stood straighter, bracing herself. She bit her lip until she tasted blood, watching him all the while. “Why tell me now?”

  He took a deep breath before he spoke. “As I said, I felt I couldn’t leave you in the dark. I couldn’t go on pretending I knew nothing and felt you deserved to know the truth.”

  She frowned at his explanation and then took a step toward him. “You come here and tell me my husband has a child, an illegitimate child…a bastard!”

  He stood up. “Look, I know this is a shock.”

  She backed away and squinted into the harsh light. “You’re damn right!”

  He hung his head for a moment and then looked up.