by Penny Jordan
Just as he would now use her.
‘Oh, but you do!’ A smudge of a smile relaxed his lips, but it didn’t soften his eyes.
His mouth moved that last delicious fraction, and it was Caitlyn’s eyes closing. The bliss of flesh on flesh, of his lips finally on hers—the moment she had dreamed of for so, so long was actually eventuating…His hands were on her shoulders, his mouth moving with hers, and if ever there was a textbook kiss then this was one. His lips were tender, measured, skilled, his tongue sliding around hers…Only as perfect as it might be, even if there wasn’t one single thing she could fault, the best Caitlyn could come up with as his mouth moved over hers was that it wasn’t her perfect.
Dreams were dangerous. Dreams let you inhabit a world that didn’t exist—let you savour and taste what you’d never had, what didn’t or couldn’t exist. Because, as adept and as proficient as his kiss was, no matter how she tried to go with it, no matter how she closed her eyes and attempted to relish this moment, the reality of it didn’t match up to her dreams.
‘Lazzaro…’ She pulled back, shook her head, knowing perhaps she would appear a tease—might in that contrary moment be giving credence to Malvolio’s vile accusations—only she couldn’t pretend. Couldn’t just go along with something that wasn’t okay. ‘This isn’t…’
He felt her detachment before she pulled back. Knew he had lost her before she had gone. But just the taste of her, the smell of her, the feel of her, had him hungry—hungry for all of her. A fierce need was coursing through him, every nerve in his body shrilling demands that their master must not deny them now. And he could do it, Lazzaro said to himself, as he pulled her back in and lowered his head again. He was strong enough, Lazzaro told himself—he could give just a little bit more of himself and then detach.
One hand snaked around her waist, finding the small of her back and wrenching her in as the other knotted into her thick blonde hair, holding her head till there was nowhere else she could go. Kissing her, kissing her as she should be kissed, as he’d wanted to kiss her from the second he’d laid eyes on her, his tongue devoured her, tasted her, drank from her.
His chin was hard on hers, scratching at her skin, his body not just warm but hot through her bathrobe. She could feel herself sink into him, melt into him. His kiss, this kiss, was all she had ever imagined—all it should be.
He smothered her—smothered her with rough, urgent, hot kisses that burnt somewhere deep inside, that offered only temporary satisfaction. Every taste made her hungry for more. His hands were on her bottom, wedging her groin into his in an almost needless gesture because she was pressing herself against him too. She closed her eyes as his mouth kissed her hairline, her eyelids, almost bleating with pleasure, with fear, as his tongue explored the hollows of her neck. This time when she pulled back it was for a very different reason—stupidity and inexperience were two different things entirely, and Caitlyn knew exactly where this was going. Knew because her body was telling her—knew that for the first time it felt absolutely right—that this was what to date her lovers’ kisses had been missing. And she knew he needed to know.
‘I haven’t done this before…’
His mouth was still on her neck, kissing her deeply and making her head roll.
‘Done what?’
She could feel the warmth of his words on her neck, and the warmth of her blush spread down to greet them as she told him her truth.
‘This.’
‘What?’
He wasn’t kissing her now. Standing to his full height, he was staring down at her, taking in the blonde dishevelled hair. The oil from the massage made it look wet—as if she’d just stepped out of the shower. Her face was flushed, as if the water had been too warm, and her gown had parted just enough to reveal one soft bosom that he wanted so badly to taste.
‘I’ve never made love before.’
Did she think he was that stupid?
China-blue eyes stared up at him. That full mouth was quivering with nerves, waiting to be kissed some more, and he was tempted to silence her with just that. What the hell was she playing at? He’d seen her pills in the bathroom, for God’s sake, and she’d told him that she’d just broken up with her boyfriend of six months—now she was telling him she was a virgin?
Please!
A very scathing remark was on the tip of his tongue—whatever game she was playing with him was about to be abruptly concluded. The muscles in his arms tensed as he prepared to push her away—only he didn’t.
If she wanted to play virgin, if she wanted to pretend that he was her first, then who was he to stop her? In fact, somehow it made it easier to just block out the whys and hows—easier to lower his mouth to hers, to play whatever game it was that she was playing and lose himself.
Pulling her back towards him, Lazzaro kissed the shell of her ear as he spoke. ‘Then we’d better take things slowly!’
So slowly. The weight of his mouth on hers was less urgent now, more a slow, languorous kiss, as intimate as it was passionate, exciting her even while simultaneously calming her, telling Caitlyn there was no hurry, no rush on this journey. So she took the time he allowed to explore him—inhaling him, inhaling the undertones of his cologne that couldn’t mask the masculine smell of want, feeling the scratch of his face against her skin, coarse, bruising, delicious, and then, because she knew where it was going, because there was nothing to stop her now, allowing herself to concentrate on the blissful feel of his tongue against hers. It toyed with hers, stroking not just where flesh met flesh, but somewhere deeper inside, stirring her slowly, and the weighty band of arousal around her groin danced to the puppet strings he pulled with his mouth.
Lazzaro’s hands slipped inside her gown, emitting a groan in their entwined mouths as he encountered the silken smooth, heavily oiled weight of her breasts. He held them in the palms of his hands like ripe fruit, then rolled her nipples between his fingers. Her robe fell in a puddle as he lowered her on the bed, his mouth working its way steadily downwards, and Caitlyn felt her heart still in her throat with nervousness, then trip back into life as she momentarily relaxed, remembering that she had her panties on.
Lazzaro was in no hurry to remove them, but he was kissing her stomach as thoroughly as he’d kissed her mouth, and as his tongue slid down his fingers toyed with her panties, then stopped. She almost sobbed at what was to come. The tease of his tongue through the fabric, the scratch of his jaw high between her legs, the nibble of teeth on lace had Caitlyn squirming with want in his skilful hands as his tongue worked on. But she couldn’t relax, couldn’t let go and enjoy, because if he didn’t stop soon…She could feel her breath catching in her throat, panic building inside. Because if he didn’t relent, didn’t give her just a second to gather herself…
Her hands were pushing his shoulders, only Lazzaro wasn’t letting her go. His shoulders were immovable against the pressure of her hands. His hands were stronger as he cupped her bottom and pressed her engorged flesh harder against his mouth. His tongue was inside her panties now, his lips pressed against her, tasting her, drinking her, frenzying her—and her own imagination had been a woeful substitute for reality. The glimpses of satisfaction she had soothed herself with were nothing, nothing compared to this. On and ever on he pushed her, and her throat was constricting, stifling her pleas, a sob was catching in her throat.
‘Don’t…’He whispered the command, and for a second he paused, for a second he looked up…
Fleetingly she asked the question in her jumbled mind—don’t what?—but as he dived back down, as his mouth pushed aside her soaking knickers, as his tongue hit her delicious tender spot, she gave herself up to the pleasure of her flesh, her thighs tightening, her bottom arching to his hungry mouth. Her hands were not on his shoulders now, but knotting into his hair. Her intimate lips were kissing him back with a hungry beat that he savoured, in an orgasm that went on for ever, made her almost want to beg for it to stop, and when it was over—when all she wanted to do was cur
l up her legs and recover—he leant back, smiling down at her as she slowly came to.
‘Right…’ His voice and his breathing were completely even, his expression utterly deadpan, but there was a glint in his eyes that was almost dangerous as he took in her dishevelled state. ‘Let’s get started, then…’
Bloody hell! It was the only thing that came to mind as his low voice directed her to the front of the queue for a rollercoaster ride. She’d just had the most amazing orgasm of her life, and Lazzaro hadn’t even taken off his top!
God, she was gorgeous…A considerate lover, Lazzaro took pleasure in pleasuring—not out of any sense of duty, more because he loved women, loved feeling them come alive, giving in under his hands, his lips. Only with Caitlyn there was a measure of selfishness in his seemingly generous actions—the sweet scent of her skin, the taste of her on his tongue, the moans of pleasure from her throat, had Lazzaro precariously close to ruining his rather formidable reputation.
Lowering himself on the bed beside her, his mouth on hers, feeling her tentative hands running over his chest as they kissed, exploring him, moving with feather-light strokes downwards, Lazzaro knew he wouldn’t last a second once inside her. And he so badly wanted to be inside her. His tongue was on her neck now, his lips sucking the tender flesh as his hand moved down to where his mouth had been. His palm held her warm mound as he slipped his finger into her wet, warm space. Biting into her neck, he felt her pleasure as his, felt her moisten beneath him. His erection was dragging on her thigh, nudging its way homeward, hovering there, teasing her, massaging her, tempting her, till it was Caitlyn who had no restraint.
Caitlyn guided that first delicious stab, and then it was Lazzaro, sliding a little way in, then pulling back, staring into her eyes as he did so, monitoring her reaction, tempting her with just a little bit more till her body begged. With each motion her body accommodated this new sensation; with each measured, controlled thrust he held back just enough to make her want more—until she wanted him all: the weight of him on top of her, the feel of him deep inside her, giddying her. Every nerve in her body was fighting the pleasure—because some pleasures were just too great. The control she had lived by, had had to live by this past week, was very close to abandonment now.
‘Don’t.’
He said it again as she fought with herself—said what he had before, the word short and stilted. She could see his shoulders above her, looked down to where he was sliding within, and it was the most erotic thing she had ever seen, the shadowed length of him moving inside her. Only this time he finished what he was saying as a scream curled from her.
‘Don’t—hold—back.’
‘Like you do?’ Caitlyn gasped, staring into those black pools and holding them. Because he couldn’t ask for all of her without giving all of himself too—and she could feel his restraint, even though it was bliss.
Their eyes locked as they came together, each contraction, each pulse spasmed, and her body squeezed out a scream, her nails digging into his taut shoulders, her mouth sucking on his salty chest as she felt him bucking inside her, felt Lazzaro shuddering his release, their bodies damp, sliding against each other…
‘What do you do to me…?’He was still coming, and so was she, and it almost hurt to give so much. She almost hated him for the response he so easily elicited, hated him for making her want him so, for being the one man she wasn’t able to resist.
‘I told you…’
They were lying in bed. Lazzaro was playing with her hair and Caitlyn was wondering if he was about to get up and leave when his rich voice reached her.
‘I told you this morning it would be marvellous.’
Was it? She wanted to check. Or are you just saying that? Oh, it had been marvellous for her, but the thought of the beauties he had bedded before was doing nothing for her confidence right now.
She did her best to manage a sophisticated smile as she answered him. ‘You did too!’ Only she couldn’t keep up the charade for long. ‘So, what happens now?’ Frantic eyes turned to him. ‘I mean, it’s not very professional…’
‘Says who?’
‘Says everyone.’
‘You only listen to me. I’m the boss; I make the rules.’ He realised his words had done nothing to soothe her. ‘We’ll just be discreet. Obviously we can’t make it public—you are my PA, and it would make things awkward on so many levels if people knew that we were…’
He didn’t finish. She wished that he would. Were what? Caitlyn wanted to ask, only she didn’t have the courage.
‘Just be discreet.’ He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Now, go to sleep…’
He was holding her, still holding her, and she waited, turned her face away from him, waited for him to pull back the rumpled sheets and get dressed and go.
She couldn’t bear it for a second longer. ‘Are you staying?’
‘Why—do you have other plans?’
‘It’s just that…’ She blinked up at the ceiling, her thoughts tumbling out as he smiled and watched. ‘Well, actually I’m starving. And I’ve promised myself that I’ll fall asleep every night with my headphones on…I’m doing this crash course in Italian…’
He halted her by leaning over and picking up the phone. And though he cursed at the state of the after-hours menu, never had a club sandwich and icy champagne in bed tasted so good…
Later, Caitlyn reflected. Who needed headphones when she had her very own personal tutor? Her very own Latin lover, whispering in her ear throughout the night and teaching her words that she was sure wouldn’t go down too well at any meeting….
CHAPTER SIX
HE WAS very nice to wake up to.
Not that they’d done much sleeping…Caitlyn’s inexperience was a distant memory by morning, as Lazzaro had delightedly given her a crash course in lovemaking. A very intensive course in lovemaking, in fact—and she was a very willing pupil, utterly devouring her new-found knowledge and incredibly keen to utilise it!
But lying there, watching him sleeping—watching that normally severe face, that tense body, for once relaxed beside her—she thought that never had he looked more beautiful. His scar just added mystery, though it confused her in some ways. He was hardly vain—Lazzaro took about two minutes to shower and get ready—but for a man who had the best of everything, surely he could have had it seen to…? Caitlyn stared closely at the jagged edges. She could see where the sutures had been placed, and she was so tempted to reach out and touch it, to touch his pain and somehow kiss it better.
As his phone rang, black eyes opened on blue smiling ones.
‘Morning…’ She reached over to kiss him, unabashed after last night’s intimacies—although if her lack of experience in lovemaking had been taken care of, she was a complete novice in other areas. She had trusted him last night and assumed she could trust him this morning—she had given him her heart and, having fallen asleep in his arms, had never considered it would be handed back in the light of morning.
‘Let me see who it is…’
Caitlyn could already see—Bonita was flashing up on his caller ID. Her only solace was that he chose not to answer.
‘We should get going.’ He didn’t kiss her back—didn’t even try to pretend for a second. Just peeled back the sheets and climbed out of the warm bed. ‘I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast.’
‘Lazzaro?’ She watched his shoulders stiffen at the question in her voice—and knew, because it was indisputable now, that the intimacies they had shared last night didn’t extend into the day. Learning fast, and hating the game she found herself playing, Caitlyn checked the slightly needy note in her voice. ‘I’ll be down in twenty minutes.’
He was far bolder than she could ever be. He didn’t even attempt to pull on yesterday’s grubby clothes, just wrapped a towel round his waist and picked up his things before heading off to his own room to get showered and dressed, leaving Caitlyn blowing her fringe skywards as she lay on the bed, trying not to cry—determined not to give hi
m the satisfaction of her tears.
Sciocco! Sciocco!
The word pounded in Lazzaro’s head as he showered and dressed, beating in his temples like a pulse as he headed down to breakfast.
Fool! Fool for forgetting who she was—and he had forgotten.
Holding her, making love to her, kissing her, tasting her, he’d lost himself, lost his mind…For a few blissful hours he had forgotten about everything—Luca, Antonia, the baby, Malvolio…
Lazzaro’s face hardened.
She’d lied to him—she still hadn’t told him that Roxanne was her cousin, and as for being a virgin!
Lazzaro snapped his fingers at a waitress, jabbed at his cup for her to refill it.
Well, she might have won this round, but the game wasn’t over—a fool he’d be no more.
‘Good morning!’ His deadpan face didn’t even change as she staggered into the dining room—utterly business as usual, he was looking through his schedule and tapping away on his laptop as a very untogether Caitlyn rather shakily poured coffee and picked at a croissant.
‘Jeremy will drive you back to Melbourne. I have a few things I want to finalise here and I will get the helicopter back—I also need to see to a few things back at the office…’
‘I’ve rearranged our flights.’ Somehow she managed to sound efficient. ‘Our plane to Rome now leaves at ten. So we need to be at the airport by eight. Do you want me to meet you at the office?’
Lazzaro shook his head. ‘Buy a gift for my sister—then you’ll need the rest of the day for yourself, to pack, pay bills, whatever…’
So he did acknowledge that she actually had a life? Small comfort, though, when she knew she was being got rid of.
‘Jeremy and I will pick you up around six-thirty—we can stop at the hospital on our way to the airport.’
‘Fine…’
He watched her fumble with her pastry. He could see the bewilderment in her eyes and it angered him—what the hell did she expect? Breakfast in bed?