As I lay in bed thinking about her that night, it suddenly all made sense. I hadn’t looked for her. She hadn’t looked for me. This was bigger than her. Bigger than me. God, the Gods, the universe, whatever power was out there, had brought us together. Had brought her to me.
When I brought Billy low, when I punished him as a God would, I turned the heads of the Gods. I got Their attention, making a statement that I was here and I was to be taken seriously. And Jenny was Their response. Compensation for a job well done. My reward. Why else would she just suddenly be dropped in my lap?
Without her knowing it, I followed her home one day. No big deal; I was just curious. I stayed way back so if she turned, I could’ve ducked behind a car or a bush. But she never looked back. The reason she didn’t was that she secretly wanted me to follow her and if she looked back, hoping to see me, she would’ve revealed her true feelings. Four-twenty-nine Houston Street. Committed to memory.
Thinking about her, my excitement grew despite my fat, snoring wife lying next to me. Jenny reminded me of Angie. Angie of the tree house. Angie, the thirteen-year-old girl who had made my legs weak, set my heart fluttering, and exposed me to a feeling of ecstasy the likes of which I had never known before, and have never known since.
I thought about Jenny’s tan body, her flat stomach. I slid my hand inside my underwear and grabbed myself, massaged myself. Carla’s snoring faded away.
Jenny’s young skin must have been awfully soft, and she probably smelled really good. Probably smelled really clean, like my mom always had. And I’ll bet she didn’t just smell clean. I’ll bet she was clean—innocent and uncontaminated by another man.
I thought about the honey nectar wetness between her young legs, the budding black hair growing there, and I pulled on myself, harder and harder. I pictured her lying underneath me, looking up at me, admiration in her eyes. She wanted me, pulled me in closer, squeezed me, longing for my forceful thrusts. Her fingernails found my back and her groans of pleasure filled my ears.
And suddenly, just as I had in the tree house so many years ago, I gave in to the rapture that came with beautiful young girls. Relax, dummies, it’s just cum.
My underwear absorbed the residue of my fantasy and needed to be changed. I lay for a moment more, allowing my breathing to slow, and then climbed from the bed. I felt my way through the dark room to my dresser and quietly grabbed a clean pair of underwear from the top drawer. It was at that moment that the idea occurred to me.
The most incredible thing I’d ever experienced was that day so long ago in the tree house. Now, with the Gods smiling down on me, with their gift before me, I was going to relive it. Jenny would be mine. Of course, there wouldn’t be a tree house, but I could improvise. I knew of a shallow cave outside of town—just like the one the skeleton had been found in. Actually, they weren’t really caves, more like good-sized holes in the ground. That happened around here a lot. The limestone beneath the soil separated or collapsed and the earth just kind of fell in. It would serve my purposes well.
The magic of that tree house day would once again reveal itself. I would be desired by an attractive young girl, and I would experience unbound ecstasy. And it wasn’t like I was contaminating my soul. To reject her would be to throw the Gods’ gift back into Their faces.
I returned to the bed. Carla snorted—just like an old sow—and rolled away from me. Good. She was probably all sweaty anyway. I lay in the darkness, wishing it was Jenny lying next to me. I longed for her youth, her beauty, her freshness. I saw the way she looked at me; she wanted me every bit as much as I wanted her. To be desired again. It would feel so good.
I thought about what steps needed to be taken, what bases needed to be covered to develop a relationship with the young girl. I would have to proceed with caution. I knew that if anyone found out they’d butt in and ruin everything. Her parents would tell her I was too old for her. But they didn’t feel what Jenny and I had felt that first time we looked at each other. They didn’t know the connection we had already made.
Yeah, I’d have to be careful that they didn’t find out. And that went for Carla too. No interruptions.
My pulse quickened as I mentally mapped out how our little rendezvous would go. I would have to be very careful and it would have to remain a secret, but that wasn’t a problem. I had lots of secrets.
A Nervous Reward
It was obvious from the first day that Jenny liked me. Yes, she was only a teenager and I was almost thirty, but in many parts of the world, thirteen was marrying age.
Each day she walked by and each day I was out front, busy with chores. I made sure my real work, my lawn service, was done early in the day so I could get home, get cleaned up, and be ready for Jenny’s walk-bys. I always stopped what I was doing and tried to make small talk, but she never returned much more than a “Hi.” I imagine when you’re super shy and you really like someone it’s hard to reveal your innermost feelings.
I came to realize it was up to me to overcome her shyness. After several days of saying hello, I finally took the relationship to the next level. I was watering the grass when she walked by.
“Hot today, huh?”
She nodded and kept walking.
“Hey,” I called to her in a real casual tone.
She stopped and turned.
“If you’re ever hot and need to grab a quick drink of water on the way home, the hose is always out front here.”
“Okay, thanks,” she said. She turned to walk away.
“I’m Samuel. What’s your name?”
She turned back. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. My dad would be mad.”
“It’s okay, I’m an old friend of your dad’s. He probably wouldn’t remember me, but you guys live over on 429 Houston, right?”
“Yeah,” she said, giving me a quizzical look.
“He’s right about the strangers thing. There are a lot of weirdos out there. But since we’re practically neighbors, and I know your dad, I think I’m safe.”
After a short pause, she said, “I’m Jennifer. But everyone calls me Jenny.”
“Nice to officially meet you, Jenny.”
“You too,” she said. “I have to get home now.”
“Just remember, the hose is always here, okay?”
“Okay.” She turned and walked away.
I pumped my fist.
School would be letting out any moment. I busied myself with details around the yard until Jenny came by. I wore a nice pair of khaki shorts, a polo shirt, and cologne.
Earlier that morning, Carla had informed me she had to work a double. “Irene’s having some complications with her pregnancy. I gotta cover her shift today. And mine.”
Irene Frye. I liked her. She was nice, always asking how I was doing. You could see in her eyes that she actually cared. At a store picnic last summer, we had done a three-legged race together, because her husband was out of town for work—oil business—and Carla’s stomach hurt. We didn’t win, but we had fun and we definitely connected. Anything beyond a friendship would be difficult, though. She was married and so was I.
“Is she going to be okay?” I asked.
“She’s got too much amniotic fluid so she’s going to Midland for some tests.” Carla stopped, tilted her head, and stared at me, her hair a mess and her nightgown wrinkled from sleep. “Why you all dressed up? You got a date or something?”
“I’m going to fill out some applications today. With my landscaping business slowing down, I’m looking for a better job so I can help us more.”
“Oh, yeah? Why start now?”
Why did she have to be rude? Carla stood in the hallway by the bathroom door and scratched her crotch.
“Actually find a real job, huh? That’d be something new.”
She made no effort to shut the door before she lifted her nightgown, pulled down her panties
, and took her place on the toilet. She farted, peed, and then snapped several squares of toilet paper from the roll. She folded the toilet paper, swiped it between her legs, and pulled up her panties as she stood. She dropped the soiled paper into the toilet and flushed. She looked at me, shook her head, and then pushed past me in the hallway.
“I have to get ready for work. Because I have a real job now.”
I dropped Carla off at work. I needed the twenty-year-old Subaru to fill out the apps.
I parked the car, passenger side next to the curb, directly beside Jenny’s path—for convenience. She would want to keep our relationship secret for fear of getting into trouble. And I figured if the car was right there, she could jump in without anyone seeing her. We could get to know each other better—get comfortable on our way to the sinkhole.
Jenny was late. I had been waiting for quite some time. All the other kids had long since passed. She must have had a make-up test or something. At first I was pretty annoyed. And then I realized it was all part of the plan. She was supposed to be late. Just to make sure the other kids were already gone.
Though I knew she was my reward, I knew she would be nervous. She was young. Naïve. Innocent. She didn’t have the enlightenment I had. So I would make things easy on her. Time to resurrect Brutus.
As Jenny came down the sidewalk wearing a cute blue skirt and light pink T-shirt, I stood on the curb next to the car, looking intently down the road, projecting the image of a man searching for something important. She walked by and I glanced at her, giving her a soft yet concerned look. “Hi, Jenny. Hey, I don’t mean to bother you, but you haven’t seen a big ol’ mutt tromping around, have you? His name is Brutus. He’s big and goofy. A giant teddy bear.”
Jenny stopped. She shook her head. “No, I haven’t.”
“Oh, man,” I said. “I’m worried. He’s too trusting. Like he would go with anyone if they pet him.”
“What’s he look like?”
“Like a big ol’ mutt. He’s an animal shelter rescue. So sweet and so lovable.”
“I’ve never seen him in your yard.”
“We keep him in the house. He’s always trying to run away. You know, go exploring the world. I just worry that he’s not smart enough to come back!” I hit her with a quick, appropriate laugh.
“What did you say his name was?”
“Brutus. But he should be named Pooh Bear.” Again with the soft laugh.
“I’ll keep an eye out for him on the way home.”
“I don’t suppose you’d wanna help me find him, would you?”
“I would, but I have to get home.”
I nodded. “Oh, sure. Hey, let me give you a picture of him so you’ll know if you see him, okay?” I moved to the Subaru. Opened the passenger door. Reached for the glove box. Opened it.
Jenny stepped toward me, held her hand out.
I reached into the glove box, made the motion of retrieving something, and then closed it. Jenny moved closer. I backed out of the car, turned, and did a quick scan of the neighborhood. No one in sight. I snatched Jenny by the wrist. Her eyes widened, and for a split second she appeared to be contemplating the reality of the moment. She opened her mouth to scream. I slapped my hand over it and shoved her into the car, slamming her door. I slid across the hood, just like they did in cop shows, to the driver’s side. I thought it might impress Jenny. I checked again for anyone watching.
Jenny was obviously okay with this because she didn’t try to run. Of course, even if she had wanted to, she couldn’t. The interior door handle on her side was busted.
I climbed in and said, “I know this is kind of overwhelming, but whatever you do, don’t scream. It makes me nervous, and sometimes when I’m nervous I do stupid things.”
“Let me go!” she cried.
“Relax, Jenny. You don’t even know what I’ve got planned. I think you’ll like it.”
We pulled away from the curb and headed to the highway. I put my hand on her leg, squeezed it reassuringly.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she whimpered.
“Oh, honey, I’m not going to hurt you. Just relax. Really, you’re going to enjoy this. Just don’t scream, okay? Everything’ll be fine.”
I turned off onto a dirt road only a few miles outside of town, pulled to the side of the road just past the large bush that marked the area of the sinkhole, and parked the car. I grabbed Jenny and pulled her through the car and out the driver’s side door. She moved as if she were sleepwalking. Or maybe in a trance. I think, maybe, the Gods were in her mind, telling her to relax.
It only took a few minutes to find the sinkhole, even though we were slowed a bit by Jenny. Her legs buckled a couple of times, but I think that was because she was nervous. I was nervous before being with Angie, so I knew exactly how she felt.
I pulled her down into the hole and forced her to the ground in front of me. I pushed her onto her back and climbed on top of her, straddling her waist. I smiled and told her to relax.
That’s when everything went wrong. She starting screaming as loud as she could. She kicked me, clawed at me, became wild, like she had been raised by wolves. She was crying and carrying on like a two-year-old. I grabbed her wrists and laid on top of her, allowing the full weight of my body to rest on her, and I kissed her.
Jenny screamed and somehow managed to get a hand between my face and hers. She tried to shove me away. She almost gouged out my left eye. So I punched her in the side of the head. I suppose I did it harder than I meant to, but she shouldn’t have gone for my eye. That could’ve really hurt.
With my right hand, I pinned both her wrists together above her head. With my left, I pulled her skirt up past her hips. I stared at her pink panties. I got that same wonderful tickle in my groin I had with Angie in the tree house.
Jenny screamed again. She ripped her arms free and dug her fingernails into my forearms. I slapped her hard and then grabbed her by the throat with both hands. I squeezed until she couldn’t scream anymore. “Stop! You’re ruining everything!”
Had I been mistaken? Was this actually a test, the Gods seeing how I would play this out? A God takes what He wants, right? Even if there is resistance.
Jenny tried to pull my hands off her neck.
“Settle down!” I yelled. “If you do, I’ll let you go, okay? I promise.”
Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. I let go and she was immediately overcome by a fit of coughing.
“Please don’t ruin this.” I reached down and pulled her panties to her knees. I couldn’t wait to slide into the wetness just beneath her budding hair of womanhood. I would allow my desires to move my body, show her how much I liked her. And when it was time, I would pull out, spilling my seed all over her. “Relax, dummy, it’s just cum,” she would say. And then she would giggle.
I had obviously underestimated her nervousness. It was quite a struggle holding her down and getting my shorts unzipped at the same time. Even though I had advised her against it, she opened her mouth to scream. I got tired of that shit in a hurry. I slammed my fist into the side of her head again, silencing her. Finally, I got my shorts pushed down far enough that I was fully exposed and fully erect. I positioned myself directly above her.
The pain from her knee driving into my balls erupted through me like an atomic bomb. My entire stomach went into cramps. I screamed and punched her again, this time as hard as I could. And then I did it several more times.
I doubled over, still on top of her, tried to catch my breath. I couldn’t believe how bad my balls hurt. And then I got mad. Really mad. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. So I dug my Uncle Henry from my shorts pocket. Without even thinking, I stuck the knife into Jenny’s belly. She screamed. I was afraid her yelling would attract the attention of someone passing by—not that the road was used much, but you never knew. People would’ve automatically drawn the wrong concl
usion if we were discovered down there.
I put my hand over Jenny’s mouth. Her screams, though muffled, were still too loud. I pressed harder. I knew if I could just get her to understand that I hadn’t meant anything by stabbing her, she would settle down. It probably hurt pretty bad, but it wasn’t like I had intentionally brought her out here to stab her.
I must have covered her nose as well as her mouth, because after a moment of kicking and scratching, she became still. I lifted my hand from her face to tell her I was sorry, but her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Her lips had developed a light blue hue. Oh, shit. I had seen that before. Terry had that exact same look.
My mind raced. It was happening again. Son of a bitch, it was happening again! Someone very special to me was about to cross over, carrying with them a spirit dirtied by worldly desires. I couldn’t let her go like Terry had gone. I couldn’t let her spend her eternity bound to a soiled soul, walking the afterlife alone. We hadn’t consummated our relationship, but her soul was tainted. There was a reason she had gone with me to the sinkhole. She wanted this to happen as badly as I did. I learned in church that “in the eyes of the Lord, so as sin is committed in the heart, it is committed in the soul.” I had to save her soul.
Do as God does enough times and become as He is. Become as They are.
I’m not sure why that thought popped into my head, but its significance was not lost on me. Become as They are.
Jenny’s eyes suddenly opened. She started coughing violently. Her entire body shook. Blood poured around the knife still stuck in her stomach. I had heard that just before someone died, they sometimes went into death spasms. Jenny was definitely in spasms. That didn’t give me much time.
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