by Blair Grey
Not Attainable
Blair Grey
Copyright © 2018 by Blair Grey
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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Contents
1. Will
2. Belle
3. Will
4. Belle
5. Will
6. Belle
7. Will
8. Belle
9. Will
10. Belle
11. Will
12. Belle
13. Will
14. Belle
15. Will
16. Belle
17. Will
18. Belle
19. Will
20. Belle
21. Will
22. Belle
23. Will
24. Belle
25. Will
26. Belle
27. Will
28. Belle
29. Will
30. Belle
31. Will
32. Belle
33. Will
34. Belle
35. Will
36. Belle
37. Will
38. Belle
39. Will
Epilogue
1
Will
I got back to town on Monday morning and had to head straight over to the weekly meeting at the clubhouse. I debated blowing it off, but I knew I had ruffled enough feathers already with my impromptu trip across the country, and I’d already missed the two previous meetings because of it. Ray had probably been waiting for me to come back, and I’d told him I would be there today. Besides, I was excited to actually see everyone again. It had been a while, and they were like family.
Red Eyes was the most powerful motorcycle club in New Mexico, and even though I knew there was way more that I could be doing with my life, I couldn’t imagine leaving. Not for good.
I didn’t particularly love my role in the club, though. I was an enforcer, so basically, I just went around to the people who were behind on their payments and coerced them to pay up. It was an important role, but it got old after a while. It was especially disheartening when I had to visit people who really couldn’t pay up.
I hadn’t gone to college, so that limited my options, and I’d be the first to tell you that I wasn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. But sometimes, I imagined what my life would be like if I got myself cleaned up and did an honest job. Maybe something in landscaping or a trade job like carpentry. I’d always been good with my hands.
That said, the club had taken me in when I’d needed them. I owed them a huge debt, one that I could probably never repay. It had been nice to take that short break. But it was equally nice to come back.
“Hey, look who’s back!” Landon said as I walked in the front door.
His twin, Braxton, smirked at me. “Well, if it isn’t Willy the Wild Disappearing Act.” He turned to look at his twin. “Are we supposed to welcome him back, though, or do we shun him? Ray was pretty pissed. I’m not sure we should be seen talking to him.”
I collapsed onto the sofa next to the two of them, glad to be off my bike. I was still covered in dirt from the drive, but this was the MC headquarters; I wasn’t the first person with that predicament. “I’ve smoothed all that over,” I told them. “At least I think I have.”
Braxton snorted. “Come on, man, you’ve been here for long enough to know that it’s not that easy.”
The twins and I were friends, but sometimes, I swear, they lived just to be obnoxious to me. They were the ones who first started calling me “Willy,” insisting on it even though I hated being called that. And now, even though I knew things with Ray would be testy for at least a little while longer, I didn’t want to be reminded of that. I just wanted to pretend like things were normal, like I was just here for another weekly meeting.
To be honest, I was too tired to consider what Ray might have planned for me.
“Yeah, I bet Ray has some boring-as-shit list of missions to send you on before he really forgives you,” Grant chimed in.
“See, even the kid knows the rules,” Braxton laughed.
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered. “Get off my back—I just got back into town. Let me breathe for a minute.”
“So how was your trip?” Braxton asked. “Lots of pussy?”
“It wasn’t about pussy,” I grumbled.
“Then you’re doing it wrong,” he said, his eyes glinting.
“Probably,” I admitted, chuckling, then shrugged. “It was good, though. Just me and the road.” I couldn’t explain to them why I’d felt like I needed to get out. It was just an itching restlessness that I felt. Not for the first time, either. It was the first time I’d disappeared for that long, though. Normally, I confined my trips to the times when I didn’t have any club business. I was careful about going to all the weekly meetings.
“So what have you losers been up to, anyway?” I asked.
“Getting wrecked, getting sexed, and blowing money,” Grant quipped, grinning crookedly at me. “What else is there to life?”
I shook my head, but I kept my opinions to myself. None of the guys would understand if I admitted that I felt like that shit got old after a while. Again, not like I was all high-and-mighty, but I had a couple of hobbies that didn’t involve girls and drinking, at least.
I was glad when Marcus fell into a seat across from me. “Hey, good to see you, man,” he said. Marcus was one of my closest friends in the MC. He was a bit older than the others, and a bit more mature. No one really knew what he did in his free time, but I knew he had a master’s degree, and I bet he wasn’t just out to get wasted and fuck any chick he met.
“Finally, someone I can have an actual conversation with,” I joked, rolling my eyes at the twins.
But we didn’t get the chance for that conversation just yet. Ray walked into the room, and everyone immediately went silent, their eyes swinging toward the man.
I didn’t know much of Ray’s story. He didn’t talk about the things he’d done much, but you could tell, just from looking at him, that he was not the kind of guy you wanted to mess with. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Ray had killed a man before. Or more than one. I’d seen him at the shooting gallery once, and his aim was impressive. And he’d somehow managed to make such a huge name for himself that the other MCs steered clear of us.
I wasn’t sure exactly how long it had been since there was any sort of violence in our area. Nothing beyond the usual roughing up that the enforcers did, anyway. It made Ray a bit paranoid; he was always going on about how we shouldn’t get complacent, how at any point another MC might try to move in on our turf.
But right now, things were going well. Really well.
“Hey, good afternoon,” Ray said, nodding around the room. “It’s good to see all of you here.” He directed a look at me as he said it, and the twins smirked at me. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, knowing that Ray wouldn’t appreciate that.
Ray’s attention finally slid away from me, and I breathed a minute sigh of relief even though I knew he probably still had something up his sleeve.
“I’ve been running the numbers with Cameron,” Ray continued, nodding toward the tall, lanky treasurer of the MC, who was sitting off to the side by himself, as usual. “Things are looking really good, lots of businesses paying their dues to the MC. Just as it should be. Except—” His eyes slid back to me. Here it was—the pun
ishment. Sounded like just another enforcement, though, nothing major.
“There’s a new business in town, the one that opened where Jimmy’s used to be,” Ray said, narrowing his eyes at me. “And it seems that word hasn’t quite gotten around yet that they need to pay up.”
Fuck, it was going to be one of those ones that I would hate, I could already tell. It was a new business, so first they would beg and plead to me, telling me that they didn’t want to get involved in MC business, that they just wanted to go about their life there peacefully. Then, when I made it clear that they had to pay up or leave Las Cruces, they would explain that they didn’t have any money, that all of their money was in the shop and that they wouldn’t start turning a profit for months to come.
If it was a woman, she would probably start to cry right about then. And I’d have to be the asshole who insisted that she pay up or else get driven out of town with her business reputation in tatters.
Ray’s gaze slid over to Marcus. “Marcus, I want you and Willy to head over there together. You’re in charge of getting a feel for the place. Assessing it. Figuring out what it’s worth to us. And Will, you get your favorite task: making sure they know the rules.”
I fought to keep from groaning out loud. Instead, I placed a falsely cheerful grin on my face and gave him a cheeky salute. “You got it, boss,” I said.
Ray smirked at me and then turned his attention to other matters.
At the end of the meeting, he pulled me off to the side as some of the others were slipping out. “A little heads-up next time would be nice,” he said. “I had to send Braxton with Marcus for one of your jobs.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, looking at the floor.
Ray clapped a hand on my shoulder. “How you doing, anyway? I know the boys give you a lot of shit sometimes, but you didn’t have to go running to the other side of the country to get away from them.”
I grinned and shook my head. “Had nothing to do with that,” I said. “Just had to get out for a little while. Just me and the road.”
“Trust me; no one gets that more than I do,” Ray said seriously.
I appreciated that he seemed more concerned than upset about my sudden disappearance, but at the same time, I doubted he really understood, no more than the rest of the guys. Ray had always had everything he wanted out of the MC. He’d formed it himself, so it wasn’t like he’d had to work his way up through the ranks like the rest of us. He’d always been doing what he was meant to do here.
I, on the other hand, was feeling stifled again, after just one day back. I knew, I just knew I could be more than an enforcer. But I’d have to have some money to get myself started with something else. And I just simply didn’t have that.
“
Ray snorted. “Keep thinking that deep and you’re going to give Cameron a run for his money!” he teased. He shook his head. “You go do what you do best, Willy.”
I nodded and slipped out of the clubhouse, pausing for a minute once I was outside to turn my face toward the sun. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I could still taste the tang of the road on my tongue. The fresh air, the dirt, the grease. For a moment, I was tempted to get right back on my bike and head off again.
Coming home would take some getting used to. I knew that. But I pushed away the idea of disappearing again. It would feel more like running away this time, and I wasn’t the kind of guy to run away from my problems. Besides, at the end of the day, Red Eyes was my family. You didn’t just turn your back on that. Even if they refused to see that you had grown into something different than the guy you once were.
I’d just have to figure out a way to make things change. But for now, I had a mission, and it was time to make things up to Ray. I nodded a little to myself and pulled on my motorcycle helmet.
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2
Belle
I sang along with the radio as I started getting the diner open for the morning. I knew a lot of people hated the start of the week, but I liked the routine of my Monday mornings. It was peaceful. Normal. Something that could sometimes be lacking in my life, all things considered.
I had already taken all the chairs down and got the cash register ready to go by the time Nicole arrived. “Wow, it is busy this morning,” Nicole said sarcastically.
I laughed. “I love Monday mornings,” I told her. “After the Sunday brunch rush, it’s nice to just chill out.”
“I think it’s boring as shit,” Nicole said. Then, she gave me a sideways grin as she hopped up to sit on one of the stools at the counter. “But at least you’re here, too.” She paused. “Can you make me a coffee? I’m useless until I’ve got some caffeine in me.”
I glanced over at her. “Long night?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. If you didn’t know her any better, she would look just as cute and perky as she always did, but I could see the little bit of extra makeup hiding the bags under her eyes. I smirked. “Still having fun with Jeremy, huh?”
Nicole made a noise of disgust. “Nah,” she said. “Jeremy’s old news.” She winked. “He couldn’t keep up with me.”
I laughed. “No one can keep up with you!”
It seemed like Nicole had a new guy every week. She’d go on and on about them, telling me all of their great qualities, why they were going to be Mr. Right. They were all sexy as hell, most of them ranchers or other guys who worked hard outdoors. You know, sexy and tanned, often shirtless. They all adored her, but they quickly found that they couldn’t keep her attention. Once she had them, Nicole would find something that she didn’t like about them, and she’d quickly get bored.
Until she found the next guy to seduce. And then the cycle would repeat.
I was jealous of her in a way. She was gutsy, and she went after what she wanted without thinking about the consequences. There had been more than one bar brawl over her. But more than that, she was free to do whatever she wanted with whomever she wanted. Things just weren’t like that for me.
I finished brewing a large pot of coffee and poured Nicole a mug of it. Then, looking around and deciding that we were ready for business, even though business hadn’t started showing up yet, I poured a second mug for myself and leaned against the counter across from her.
“You need to come out with me sometime,” Nicole said, not for the first time. “You never come out with me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know I can’t,” I said. “I’m still trying to get my father to let me get my own place, and he’s not going to agree to that unless he sees absolutely exemplary behavior from me in the meantime.”
Nicole laughed. “A couple drinks isn’t going to make you any less of an angel,” she said. “I know you. You’re so prudish, you’ll—” She broke off what she was saying as the bells above the door chimed, a sign of someone entering. I gave her one last look before turning my attention away.
“Good morning!” I greeted. Martha and Bobby were two of our regulars, and I loved watching them together. “Just sit yourselves wherever.” I knew exactly where they were going to sit. They had their favorite booth, tucked over in one corner, with a good view out the window.
I brought over two mugs and the pot of coffee. “The usual?” I asked.
“Yes please, dear,” Bobby said, winking at me.
“So how are the two of you this morning?” I asked.
“Doing just fine,” Martha said, patting her husband’s hand. “You know, Bobby is going to be singing in the barbershop quartet on Friday!”
“I heard a rumor of that.” I grinned at the two of them. Martha had actually bragged about that, herself, the last three times that she’d been in there. She was excited for her husband, though, and I appreciated that.
“Martha, if you keep talking about it like that, you’re going to jinx it,” Bobby said, shaking his head. But he couldn’t hide his proud smile as he turned toward me. “And Martha has cracked the code for the best apple pie,” he said. “I don’t know what the secret is or if you could ever re
plicate it, but we should get you the recipe.”
“I’d love that,” I said, even though I wasn’t much of a baker.
They went on for another couple of minutes, each telling me about everything the other person was up to and then telling me all about the family, with an emphasis on the grandchildren. It was a ritual that we repeated often enough that I almost felt like I was part of the family. There was just something about the two of them, so honest and open with me. Something about their love made you feel like you were standing in a bubble of warmth as long as you were next to them.
“And what about you, dear?” Martha asked finally. “You got yourself a man yet?”
It was another part of our routine. I laughed and shook my head. “Not yet,” I told her. “You know I’m holding out for someone as perfect as Bobby here.”
“Oh, fiddlesticks,” Martha said. “Bobby wasn’t always perfect. I molded him into the man he is today.”
“Absolutely not,” Bobby grumbled. “If anything, I molded you into the woman you are today!”
I giggled and shook my head. “Holler if you need any more coffee,” I said to them, heading back toward the counter and leaving them to enjoy their coffee together in peace. When I got back to the counter and put the pot of coffee down, I looked back over at them. They were talking quietly, holding hands, their eyes twinkling like they were still besotted and on their first date or their honeymoon. You would never know the two of them had been married for coming up on sixty years.