Beyond

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Beyond Page 5

by Chantal Fernando


  “What kind of problem?” I ask highhandedly. “Seen to many penises in one day?”

  His eyes narrow. “What did you just say?”

  “Oh please I know she works in the brothel,” I say, placing my hands on my hips.

  “And how the hell do you know that?” he asks, his jaw clenching.

  Well at least he wasn’t denying it.

  “I saw her opening the door one day,” I say, shrugging. “Each to their own, I guess.”

  He groans. “The issue she had last night didn’t have anything to do with sex Olivia. She has nightmares and goes into shock. Someone has to calm her down and pull her out of it.”

  “And is that someone always you?” I ask quietly.

  He grimaces, but nods. “She trusts me. I couldn’t just leave her like that, rocking herself in a corner. What kind of person would that make me?”

  He was right of course. Turns out Dane wasn’t only good-looking and a skilled fighter, he was also a good man. I couldn’t complain just because those attributes weren’t benefiting me right now. I was being selfish. Again.

  I sigh heavily. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” he asks, tone laced with suspicion.

  I nod once. “Okay?”

  His lips tighten and his hazel eyes narrow on me. “What’s the catch?”

  I try and hide my grin. “There’s no catch Dane. If you say you aren’t sleeping with your sexy brothel working ex-girlfriend then I believe you. Innocent until proven guilty, right?”

  “Olivia—”

  “Until next time Dane,” I say, cutting him off and continuing down the hallway. I hear him mutter a curse behind me, amusement filling me.

  Maybe having Dane for a husband isn’t going to be so bad after all.

  Chapter Eight

  I don’t see Dane again until the next evening when he shows up at my room.

  “Can I come in?” he asks, shifting on his feet as I open the door an inch. I can smell him from here, and it makes me want to bury my face in his chest and breathe in.

  “Sure,” I say, opening the door fully and allowing him entry. “What can I do for you?”

  I didn’t mean for that to come out as sultry as it did.

  He closes the door behind him then turns to face me. I watch as his gaze scans my room. I slowly push my bra that I’d thrown on the floor under my bed with the tip of my foot. He sees it, and raises an eyebrow at me.

  I shrug. “Wasn’t exactly expecting company.”

  “Soon we’re going to be living together,” he says¸ as if he only just realized that fact.

  “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

  He looks away and sinks his teeth into his full lower lip. “Never said I didn’t want to.”

  He was acting a little off, and I wasn’t sure why. “Is everything okay Dane?”

  Eyes back on me, he steps forward. He makes my spacious room look small—he has such a commanding presence. Today he’s wearing all black, a tight t-shirt that shows off his sculptured muscles and cargo pants.

  Warm, calloused fingers grip my chin and lift. “Something happened today that I didn’t like.”

  “Wh-what?” I ask, getting lost in his gaze.

  He wets his lips. “I missed you.”

  He sounds pissed off over the fact. My eyes widen at his admission.

  “I didn’t see you all day, and I fucking missed you.”

  His jaw clenches. Nope, he doesn’t like that I’m getting to him one bit.

  Secretly feeling thrilled, I’m about to reply when he lowers his head and kisses me. Falling into the kiss, I boldly wrap my arms around his neck, while his hands find my lower back. Bodies pressed together, I groan as his tongue plays with mine. He tastes good. He feels good. Everything about him makes me want more. Is this normal? To want someone so much? I wasn’t sure. He palms my ass, moaning and pulling me even closer to him. When he finally pulls away, I’m panting.

  I’m so turned on, I think I will explode if he stops touching me.

  “I came to say bye,” he rumbles.

  Wait, what?

  “Bye?” I manage to ask through the lust haze I was in.

  “I have to leave Olivia,” he says, arms still around me. He rubs my back now, in soothing, calming motions.

  My heart sinks.

  “I didn’t know you were leaving so soon?” I say, dropping my hands.

  With a sigh Dane moves away from me, and sits down on my bed and looks up at me. “I’ll try to be back as soon as I can.”

  I remember my dad’s words about Dane and his responsibilities. “It’s okay Dane. You just make sure you and the others come back safely.”

  He dips his head. “I will, don’t you worry about that Olivia.”

  I sit down next to him. “I have a question.”

  “What is it?” he asks, taking my hand in his and rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

  I clear my throat. “How come Sam isn’t going with you? He’s one of your top men, is he not?”

  Dane bobs his head. “He is. This is more of a personal mission, I guess you could say. I’m going alone Olivia.”

  Alone? My pulse races. I didn’t think the thought of him going out there alone. How was he going to survive? And a personal mission?

  “Right, now I definitely have no more questions,” I mutter sarcastically, making him chuckle.

  “Just something I need to do, and it needs to happen now before more people are hurt.”

  “Are you always going to be this cryptic?” I ask.

  “Are you always going to be this beautiful?” he counters, pushing a tendril of my hair back behind my ear.

  “I hope so,” I reply dreamily.

  Damn him!

  His finger trails down my jawline, and I think I stop breathing.

  His lip twitches at my response. “The second I return, you’re mine.”

  “Why not now?” I groan. “I don’t want to wait.”

  He chuckles. Taking my hand he puts it on his dick. His extremely hard dick.

  “I want you too, trust me. But I want to take my time with you, and I need to leave right now.”

  “You should have come over last night,” I complain. My hand was still on his groin and the heat coming from it was almost burning my hand.

  “You were mad at me yesterday. I was giving you time to cool down,” he says, taking my hand and holding it in his. I kind of wanted to touch his penis some more.

  “I’ll probably be mad at you every day. I read that angry sex can be good too.”

  He laughs, his body shaking with the effort. “We aren’t having angry sex for your first time.”

  “Second?” I ask hopefully.

  He shakes his head, eyes dancing with amusement. “I decide when, not you.”

  I pout.

  Dane pushes me down on the bed, bracing himself over me.

  “What?” I ask as he studies me.

  “You,” he murmurs.

  “Me what?” I breathe.

  “You aren’t what I was expecting.”

  His eyes flash with an emotion I can’t pinpoint. I don’t know how to respond but we both stay there like that, our gazes connected, emotions flashing between us without words said.

  A knock on my door makes us both jump.

  “Dane, I know you’re in there,” comes a dry voice.

  My father.

  I cringe, but Dane just grins. “I’ll see you soon.”

  Another kiss, this one quicker, and then he’s gone.

  “Don’t be sad Olivia, you still have me,” Regan says, smiling.

  “I know, thank you for keeping me company Regan,” I tell him, flashing him a grin before looking back down at the vegetables I was cutting. I was bored and I needed a distraction. Helping in the kitchen was only one of the tasks that I’d taken on today. I hand him a piece of carrot then finish up the rest. When I’m done, I look down at him, munching away noisily.

  “Wha
t do you want to do now?” I ask.

  He perks up. “Climb some trees?”

  I look down at my dress. “Okay but let me get changed first.”

  “I’ll wait outside,” he says, running out of the room. Grinning at his excitement, I head to my room to change. When I feel someone watching me, I sigh and spin around.

  “Why have you been following me all day?” I ask Lars.

  He shrugs. “Dane’s orders.”

  “What were your orders exactly? I’m walking to my room and back. How much trouble could I possibly get into?”

  Gina chooses that moment to walk up to us. Her face is pale and she’s trembling. “I need Dane.”

  Lars and I share a look. “He’s not here.”

  Gina whimpers, and I find myself stepping towards her. “What do you need us to do?”

  She wraps her arms around me and starts sobbing, her tears wetting my dress. Patting her back awkwardly, I look up helplessly at Lars. “Did any psychologists survive the apocalypse?”

  I can tell he’s trying not to laugh and I don’t appreciate it.

  “I’m sure Lars would like you hold you until you feel better,” I tell her.

  Lars shakes his head.

  I narrow my eyes at him threateningly.

  He grins and crosses his arms. “Wasn’t in my job description. Only had to keep an eye on you.”

  “Yeah well I’m comforting my fiancé’s ex-girlfriend, I’m a little traumatized. If you’re meant to keep me safe you’re failing. Or was it only physical not mental harm?”

  Gina lifts her head. “Dane and I didn’t date.”

  “So I’ve heard. So what was that?” I ask her, frowning.

  “Panic attack,” she murmurs, looking down.

  “Do you feel better now?” I ask quietly.

  She doesn’t answer.

  I look to Lars but he’s no help whatsoever.

  “I have to get changed and then go outside to watch Regan play. Do you want to come with me?”

  She lifts her head at me and smiles, nodding and wiping her tears away.

  Christ.

  She really was a beautiful girl. All big blue eyes and brown hair, with little freckles peppering her nose.

  “Okay then,” I tell her. “Follow me.”

  I couldn’t just leave her here, crying and vulnerable. Dane wasn’t here, and he cared for this girl. She was one of my people, I couldn’t leave her to be miserable alone, having panic attacks or whatever else she was going through. Post-traumatic stress? Something obviously set her off, because she wasn’t like this all the time.

  We walk to my room in silence, side by side, Lars following behind.

  Before Dane, I was a loner.

  Now I had a fucking entourage.

  A week later, I’m sitting next to Lars having dinner and annoying the shit out of him. “Are you excited to kiss me next week?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going to use your tongue?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

  He puts down his fork. “No. And don’t mention that again or else Dane will kick my ass when he gets back.”

  “Fine but you’re at least going to touch my ass right?”

  He gets up and leaves the table.

  Gina shakes her head at me. “Leave the poor man alone.”

  I giggle. “I can’t help myself.”

  She laughs with me then looks down. “I’m worried about Dane. He didn’t even tell me he was leaving.”

  I clear my throat. “Does he have to report to you or something?”

  She smiles sadly. “No I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that…”

  “What?”

  She looks me in the eye. “Did Dane tell you how the two of us know each other?”

  I shake my head.

  She nods, like the expected it. “You haven’t left these walls in a long time Olivia. You don’t know what’s out there. There is no humanity left in our race. We’re all monsters.”

  I look around. “There are good people here in the castle.”

  She nods. “There are. Why do you think I stay here? This place is a blessing.”

  “Then why do you… you know.”

  “Sleep with men for whatever I want?”

  I look down, my cheeks heating at her bluntness. “Yes.”

  “A few reasons,” she says slowly. “Dane hates it too, but… it’s hard to explain. It’s all I know, really. And I’m not going to lie, I like the attention. I like sex, a lot. I guess I use it as a means of currency and an escape. When I’m sleeping with someone, I don’t think. My mind is blank. There’s no pain. There is also the fact that the women who choose to please the men get to use protection. We’re one of the few women in the castle that don’t have to have babies. I don’t want any children.”

  I hadn’t heard any of this before. It would only make sense that they would have to be protected when sleeping with multiple men, but I never thought of it as a way to get out of helping to rebuild our population.

  My eyes widening with her brutally honest admission, I mutter, “I don’t know what to say.”

  She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. It is what it is.”

  “What is it like out there now?” I ask, waiting for her answer.

  “Destroyed,” she replies casually. “Dead. Empty. There’s no sign of life, and when you do find it, you wish you hadn’t.”

  Goose bumps appear on my arm from her explanation. “Yet Dane’s out there alone?”

  “Dane could survive out there alone. Trust me, you don’t need to worry about him. He only got caught once because he trusted someone, and he won’t make that mistake again.”

  My brows furrow. “What do you mean he got caught once?”

  She shrugs her pale shoulders and keeps quiet.

  My lips purse. It seems like everyone knows Dane’s history except me.

  “He’s a good man,” she muses, tapping her nails on the table. “One of the best.”

  “Do you want him?” I ask bluntly, needing to know the answer.

  Her blue eyes flare. “If he wanted me, yes I’d be with him in a heartbeat. But he only sees me as a friend. As his responsibility. And now that you’re in the picture well…”

  “Well what?”

  “Well, I wouldn’t even try get in the way of that. I’m not that kind of woman.”

  My lip quirks.

  She starts giggling and soon I join her.

  “Yes, I’m a prostitute with morals, so what?”

  I start to laugh even harder.

  Chapter Nine

  Today was the day.

  My wedding day.

  My dad had got me a dress made. It obviously wasn’t like a traditional wedding dress, with lace or silk, but it was still beautiful. It was white and off the shoulder, made from cotton. Form-fitting, it clung to my every curve. Kim, the seamstress, stitched in an in built bra kind of thing so I didn’t need to wear one, which was good because I didn’t have one that could be concealed. My blonde hair was down my back in a thick fishtail braid, with white flowers interweaved. For the first time in my life, I actually felt like a princess.

  If only I had my prince to share the day with.

  I cringe at my own description of Dane.

  “What’s that look for?” Gina asks, smoothing down the bottom of my dress.

  I look down. “Do you think it’s stupid to have a wedding ceremony? I don’t know, it just seems so insignificant in the scheme of things.”

  “The world has fallen apart sweetie. Everyone is trying to grasp onto normal with both hands. You’re our leaders’ daughter. If anyone deserves a wedding, it’s you. Everyone will love it, trust me. You will be the talk of the castle.”

  “That’s what I was worried about,” I grumble.

  Gina laughs, looking me over from top to toe and nodding. “Dane’s missing out today.”

  “His loss, Lars’s gain,” I attempt to joke.

  She
arches a brow. “Lars is hot. He isn’t the worst man in the world to kiss.”

  I make a face. Yes, Lars was good looking, but he was… Lars.

  My dad walks in, pride shining in his eyes. “You look beautiful. Just like your mother.”

  I wish she was here right now. She would know exactly what to say, exactly what to do. Me? I wasn’t so sure. I was nervous, and not in a good way. My dad nods his head at Gina, then returns his gaze to me. “Are you ready?”

  I nod, even though that wasn’t exactly true. Sad, but I kind of just wanted this over and done with. I didn’t know how I felt. Dane was supposed to be here with me. Today was supposed to be different than it was. But no one got what they wanted and I wasn’t any different. He offers me his arm, and I take it. Sucking in a deep breath, I squeeze my eyes shut and exhale.

  I can do this.

  I didn’t exactly have a choice.

  My eyes widen at Lars as I see him checking me out. He looks me over from head to toe, a smile playing on his lips. I find my own lips twitching. I must have really transformed today because I’ve never seen him look at me like that before.

  I come to a stop before him. My dad moves so he’s standing before us, changing part from father of the bride to celebrant. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I don’t look their way. Instead, I keep my eyes between my dad and Lars. He’s wearing a thin white shirt and black pants. His hair is brushed away from his face, showing off his cheekbones. He really is a good looking man. The chapel is silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop. We all look to our leader, waiting for him to speak.

  “Today my daughter will marry and secure her and her husband’s place as our future leaders,” he says, looking around the room. “Lars will be standing in for Dane, who is out on a dangerous mission.”

  I ignore the whispers around the chapel.

  My dad starts talking to the room, but I zone it out, instead studying the pair of lips I was going to have to kiss soon and wishing they belonged to someone else.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride…”

  Just how long did I zone out for?

  Lars looks down, then steps to me, closing the space between us. Clearing his throat, I can see his hesitation. Rolling my eyes, I lift my palms to grip each side of his face, and go up on my tip-toes, fusing our lips together. Suddenly, I hear the chapel door open with a bang, and a familiar voice growl out, “Lars!”

 

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