by Ashlee Price
"Keep on going," I urged him.
"You've got school, a part-time job, and you've got your baby now, but eventually you'll also have to look after your dad. That's too much for one person to take care of. No one can do all that; there are just not enough hours in the day."
I just looked at him, waiting for him to go on.
"I'm fairly sure this house goes with the job, so you'll be looking for somewhere to live."
I nodded.
"Okay, so I've put the word out. I know you don't like me interfering in your life, and I respect that, but this isn't any more than any friend would do, right?"
"I suppose."
"If you get any phone calls, then you'll know where they came from. They're not scammers, but people you can trust."
I was suspicious. "What did you tell them I was willing to do?"
"Mostly I said you were a horsewoman and your dad is a trainer so you've grown up around horse farms. There's all kinds of jobs that can figure in to. Just wait a few days, see to your dad, and you may hear something. If not, we'll figure something out. I promised you, I have your back."
"Michael?"
"Yes, lassie?"
"I apologize for all the horrible things I've been thinking about you."
"Pretty bad, were they?"
I scrunched up my forehead. "Well, I wouldn't hang around any black cats or voodoo dolls if I could help it."
"Got it." He grinned. "I think I probably deserved every word of them."
"One more thing..." I ventured.
"Yes?"
"Last night..."
He paused, but I couldn't read anything into it. "What about it?"
"I don't know how to think of it."
"We can think of it any way you choose - I think it's about time you had a voice in who we are."
"I think I would like to stay in touch...?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea!"
Michael hugged me and left. I didn't need to get away now, so instead, I got into the truck and went to town to get some boxes at the grocery store. I had packing to do.
Chapter 16
Michael
Finally, my life felt in balance. I had established some priorities, and the more responsibility I took, the better I felt about everything around me.
I made a visit to the coach's office after practice.
"Sir?"
"Michael. Good to see you. What can I do for you?" Coach Silman was a good guy, although very, very focused on his sport.
"Need to talk, sir."
"Sit down, Michael. What is it?"
"Sir, I've been going through a bit of self-discovery lately, and I realized that I need to change some focus in my life. Sir, this will be my last season. I'm letting you know so you can get my replacement ready."
"What? Michael, where the hell did this come from?" He was angry.
"I know you're upset sir, and I know you've made decisions based on having me on the field. But sir, pro football isn't even on my horizon. I'm going to study law, sir, and that's no small undertaking. I've also got some personal responsibilities I need to look after, and if I keep it all going, one thing or another is going to suffer. I don't want it to be the team."
"I see," he said, sitting back in his chair, his hands clasped while twirling his thumbs. "You've given this enough thought?"
"Yes, sir. I have. I think I've realized it for some time, but I felt pressure from home to continue on this path. The thing is, it's just not right for me, sir."
"Michael, ordinarily I'd be kicking your ass a hundred yards down that field. You're right; I've made decisions and plans based on you being in the quarterback position. I won't lie - you're fucking them up, and you're letting down some teammates who might not get to a bowl because you're not on the team. However... in your case, I'm going to back off. I respect your personal insight, and I appreciate the fact that you've come to me now, while I still have a chance to prepare for next season. After all, you could get sidelined with an injury and I'd be in the same spot. The real reason, son, is that I know there's much more in your future than football. Hell, you'd be wasted there. You sure as hell don't need the money, and your mind is something that doesn't need shoulder pads or ice baths to maintain. I want to shake your hand like a man. There's not many who would have the guts to come in here and quit while they're on top."
He extended his hand and I shook it. "Thank you for understanding, sir. It's been a pleasure and an honor to be on your team."
I learned a lot about integrity that day - something that I'd never learned from my dad. I think Callie was beginning to rub off on me. She'd understood integrity from the day I'd met her.
I knew it was coming. My cell vibrated, and Dad's name was on the caller ID. "Hello, Dad," I answered.
"What the fuck are you doin', boy?" He was livid, and without even being there I knew his face was crimson and his free hand balled in a fist. He rarely got interested in anything enough to become irate, but living vicariously through me on the football field was high on his list - if not at the top. "Coach tells me you're a quitter?"
"I was about to call you, Dad," I said. Okay, so I lied. I knew I wouldn't have to; Coach was on the phone to Dad the minute I left his office. "Football has been good to me, but I've had enough. I need to focus on the studies that I'll need for my life."
"What the fuck you talkin' about? Are you doin' drugs or somethin', boy? That walkin' out on me at the Galt House... well, I don't ever want you tryin' that stunt again, do you hear me?"
"Sir, I understand. You're right; that was disrespectful. But sir, I'd rather walk out than become angry and say something I'd regret."
That took a bit of the wind out of his sails, I could tell. "Michael, what's going on?" he asked a bit more quietly. "Is it a girl? Are you doin' drugs? Drinkin'?"
"No sir, and frankly, I thought you knew me better than that. It's about taking responsibility for my future. My life isn't going to be a game, Dad. It's going to be about life and death and making a difference in peoples' lives."
"Don't start up with that shit again. What's got into you?"
I waited a few moments before responding. "Dad, you're a strong personality, and I've always respected you. I'm not like you, sir, and never will be. You're not bad and neither am I; we're just different. What makes you feel a sense of accomplishment isn't the same for me. Most people measure success by the amount of money they've earned. I don't have that need, obviously, so I measure my accomplishments by the pleasure and pride I feel at the end of the day. I know this might not sound right to you as of this moment, but I think once you calm down, you'll understand what I'm saying. At least I hope so, sir."
I heard him expel a loud breath. "Michael, I've given you everything you needed all your life. I guess if you're set on this foolishness, you're gonna have to figure it out on your own. I'll leave you alone now, but I'm always your dad."
"Sir, that is probably the most generous and thoughtful thing you've ever said to me. Thank you."
We both hung up without another word, and I felt an enormous sense of peace come over me.
Before I set the phone down, it began to vibrate again. It was Callie.
"Hello, lassie."
"Michael! Michael! You won't believe what happened! There's this man near Shelbyville... he's from Florida, I think. Anyway, he's not from around here. He's got a small farm with only a few horses, but he's always back and forth between here and his other house and he wants someone to live on the place and see to things. I went over and saw him, and Michael, there's even a house included! Oh, my God... just when I thought we were done for, this comes through! How can I thank you enough for putting the word out?"
It made me hard just to hear the happiness in her voice. I chuckled at her delight. "Well, well, the lassie has found her home. I'm so glad to hear that, and so proud of you, Callie. You're a fighter and probably the strongest woman I know."
"Thank you for saying that, Michael. It means a lot. We
ll, I've got to go. I've got packing to do, and I need to run by the hospital. Hopefully Dad will be up to hearing all about it. I know it will take a lot off his mind and maybe make him heal faster."
"Good point. Do you need help packing?"
"Well... actually... do you have time?"
"I just happen to have an opening in my schedule. If you'll let me bring the pizza?"
She laughed. "I'm brewing a pitcher of sweet tea starting right now. I'll be back from the hospital in about an hour and a half. I already went and got boxes. Oh, Michael, this is so exciting!"
"I'm happy for you, lassie. I truly am. See you soon!"
Chapter 17
Callie
Dad was fully awake when I arrived. "Dad! It's so good to see that you're better!" I hugged him as much as I could without disturbing the wires and lines - and without testing whether he could respond. I didn't want to know how bad the paralysis was yet.
"Callie..."
I burst into tears. He spoke. Just my name meant so much - his brain was there, he knew who I was, and he still had the power of speech!
"I guess he gave away the surprise, eh?" came a voice behind me, and then the doctor was standing beside me at Dad's bedside. "Got good news for you today. Your dad is springing back far faster than we'd expected. He's strong stock, your dad. You're lucky. The effects of the stroke seem to be limited to his right side, from the waist down. That's good, because his brain and power of speech and swallowing were unaffected. I'd say we're going to move him to the rehab center by next week. They'll work with him to regain the use of his legs. If all goes well, and I don't know any reason it shouldn't, he should be coming home to you in a couple of months. Of course, he'll undergo ongoing rehab as an outpatient for a year or so, but that's far better than what we anticipated at the outset."
"Oh, Dad! That's such wonderful news! I've got some for you, too!"
The doctor patted my shoulder and left the room so we'd have some privacy.
"Well, you don't have to talk if you're tired, but this may help you feel better. I know you've got to be worried."
"Go on." He said it weakly, but he smiled.
"I guess I don't have to tell you that our time at the Smithfields has come to an end. They were sorry as could be and told me to stay until I found somewhere else to go, but we pay our way, you know."
Dad nodded in agreement.
"So, I found a new place and a job! Michael put the word out for me, and there's this family from Florida who also have a farm outside Shelbyville. They've hired me to manage the farm so they can come and go between their homes. There are only four or five horses at a time. It's a piece of cake! There's a house for us there, and they're paying me an outrageous salary. I think they're new money and just don't care how they spend it. Anyway, I love the area. It's right next to the freeway so I can get to school. And I don't have to work for Mrs. Tarrington anymore! I didn't want to say it, but she really is a pain."
He patted the back of my hand, and I could see the glisten of pride-filled tears in his eyes. "Good girl."
"Isn't it wonderful? When you're better and can come home, it'll be just like before, except that you won't have to worry so much. We'll actually have more money coming in than before. I can finish school and maybe start putting some money away so eventually we can buy ourselves a little farm and raise a couple of our own horses, Dad. You can train them, and Josiah will be old enough to learn before we know it."
He nodded, but I could see he was getting tired out.
"Okay, well, I wanted to check on you and relay the good news. I'm going to go now and let you get some rest. Michael is coming over to help me pack up. I've got boxes already and it won't take us long. I realized most of what we have belongs with the house. Don't worry. I haven't seen the new house yet, but if it needs furniture, I'll shop the second-hand stores and yard sales. I've always wanted to try out my creative side anyway!"
"Michael?"
I nodded. "He's changing, Dad. Growing up, just like you said he would. I won't go into it all now, but you were right, as always."
He patted my hand again.
"Now, let me give you a kiss, and then I'm off to start our new life. My girlfriend has been watching Josiah, but I'm bringing him home in the morning. Haven't worked out day care yet, but Deb said she'd be glad to watch him on a regular basis; she could use a little extra cash. She lives close to Shelbyville, so it might be the perfect solution. Love you, Dad," I finished my enthusiastic monologue and kissed him on the cheek.
I left and thought how much more cheerful that hospital was when you had good news in your heart.
Chapter 18
Michael
I found Callie in the kitchen, the cupboards open. She was wrapping dishes in newspaper and carefully layering them into boxes. I knew I'd never seen my mother do that, and it made me proud to be with a woman who understood the real value of life. She stopped and ran to hug me as I came to the door.
"I'm just so excited, Michael! You should see Dad. He's way ahead of where they expected him to be. The stroke only damaged one side from the waist down. A few months of physical therapy and he should be back to his old self. I could see how much it meant to him when I told him the good news about the new job and living arrangements. Michael, I can't thank you enough. You just may have saved Dad's life."
"Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Callie. Your dad has been a good provider since before we were born, and he's still got a few tricks left up his sleeve."
"Oh, my God... and now you're learning modesty, too?" Will wonders never cease!"
I took her teasing good-naturedly but recognized the truth beneath her words. I wanted to be careful and not paint my dad completely with a tar brush, but I could see that every tendency of his that I'd mimicked had led to my least desirable qualities. There was a lesson to be learned somewhere there, but for now, I was content to wrap dishes and stack boxes.
"Want to take a break and eat the pizza while it's hot?" I asked her, and she nodded enthusiastically and opened the refrigerator to hand out the sweet tea. We took our glasses and the box of pizza and went outside to sit on the small patio and eat.
I told Callie of my decision to quit football and the conversations with Coach Silman and with my dad.
"Oh, Michael, but I thought football meant so much to you!"
"It used to, but my priorities are changing," I said, giving her an even look. She blushed and looked away, and I knew she wasn't sure how to interpret what I'd said. "Anyway, the coach was a real gentleman about it. Shook my hand, wished me well and actually threw a few compliments in on top. He's a good man, but that part of my life is done."
"And I never got to see you play..."
"A couple of games left in the season. Let me know and I'll get you great seats. Why not bring your girlfriend with you? Deb, was that her name?"
"Let me see how the move goes. I sort of have my hands full at the moment."
"Of course you do! Don't give it another thought, lassie. And I keep forgetting about the baby. I'm sorry."
"Would you have anyone who could video it?"
"Video it? It's on television! Why didn't I think of that? Of course, I'll send you a DVR and you can set it to record and watch it whenever you like."
She frowned, but didn't say anything. I caught on.
"You don't have a digital television or cable, do you?"
"Let's finish this pizza while it's hot - I've got to get the place packed up because I have class tomorrow and need to pick up Josiah."
"Who's going to watch him while you're at school?"
"Deb, although I'm paying her now; it's not just going to be a favor."
I nodded. I felt like a real jerk. Me sitting there with too much and complaining about it, and her, with almost nothing but commitments and problems and no one but herself to solve them.
We finished the kitchen and then did the living room and her dad's room. Finally, there was only her room and the bathroom to be finished
up. This was the only place I'd ever seen her live, and it bothered me to see it looking so sterile. I tried to imagine my entire life packed up in a few boxes, but couldn't do it. There would always be my room at the farm, and Mom would see to it that I never got rid of my childhood things. "They're for your son, Michael," she'd tell me when I wanted to throw away small clothes or toys.
"But, Mom... my kids aren't going to wear hand-me-downs. Let me at least throw away the clothes or give them to a charity."
She would look at me and then finally nod. "Save the baby clothes; they're sentimental. And your toys; save your toys. Plenty of room in the attic."
I knew she wished someone had insisted on that when she was a young girl. She had come with nothing but the clothes on her back. Dad had insisted. It was his pride. He bought her everything new, and I often heard him tell her, even if in jest, that she was nothing until she married him. I would never say that to Callie. Never.
"The Smithfields are letting me borrow their trailer to move Hector over, Michael."
"That's good."
"Michael... I'm going to kick this thing."
"You mean the spells?" I knew that's what she was referring to, whether she admitted it or not, but she nodded.
"Good for you! Would you like to see the therapist some more? I could arrange for it."
She shook her head. "No, I think he explained what was going on well enough. I can take it from here. I just had to make my mind up, and well, now with Dad and all, it's all the more important that I ride. You know... Dad used to say I'd make a good jockey, since I'm so little and stick like glue to the saddle, or so he said."
"Your dad knows what he's talking about. Don't take that too lightly."
She nodded and turned, going into the bedroom and straightening out the crib. I heard her cry out from the kitchen and quickly went in. She was sucking on her finger.
"What did you do?" I pulled it out of her mouth to look at it. A tiny drop of blood welled up.