by Ashlee Price
“Sorry Miss.”
“It’s Shannon. We’ve met before.”
His eyes looked up and we made eye contact. He had the most piercing blue eyes that I had ever seen. He was a lot better looking than when he left and way more muscled than before. Being in the service seemed to have done him some good. He looked fitter than ever, but it was hard to deny the distant look in his eyes as well. Joel looked like he had seen some things that nobody was supposed to see.
“Oh wow, Travis’s daughter?”
I nodded my head. What did he mean by wow? I can’t say that I wasn’t thinking the same thing, but it for a whole other reason. “Yeah. I had just moved here when you were about to leave.”
His eyes darkened and he looked down my body. “Well it looks like you have grown up. How old are you now?”
“Nineteen.”
I don’t know why I was so happy that he asked. Maybe it was because I was finally an adult. He just gave me this nod and started to walk away. It left me looking at him for a minute and then he turned around, catching me staring. “Do you know where Amber is? I wanted to surprise her.”
Of course I did, but there was no way that I was going to send him towards the quarry where his sister was. Not then with Mack there. No one liked Mack and I was sure that if Joel met him, he would come to the same conclusion as everyone else that met him. “I am not sure. Have you checked up at the house?”
“I just came from there.”
“Oh, well I am sure she will turn up once the party starts. Welcome home Joel.”
“Thank you. So is she drinking or something? Is that why you won’t tell me where she is?”
I nodded. “Not really like that, but she will be around in a bit.”
“If I go down to the quarry, what am I going to find?”
He was acting like her dad and I could better understand the comment about him being over protective. “Nothing.”
“Well then come with me.”
He was calling my bluff, but I knew he was going to go anyways. If I was done there, maybe I could stop the two from arguing about what she was doing. I mean she was as old as I was, so it wasn’t like she was a kid or something. “I will if you want, but I was hoping you could help me put up decorations.”
“For my own party?”
“Well it’s not much of a surprise now, is it?”
“I guess not, but I was really hoping to talk to Amber about something.”
“She will be back soon, trust me. She is fine. Now come on and let’s put all those muscles to good use.”
Chapter 2: Shannon
I tried not to gawk as he helped me. His muscles bunched up just to put the streamers up and it was hard not to look. Joel was so big, much bigger than he had been before. He didn’t seem to notice me in the same way as he had before. I did have a shirt on now, but I got nothing from him. When I would try to get close, he would dodge any touch. Frustrated, I tried to ignore him as well, but with him stretched and his muscles bunched, it was hard not to get a little riled up.
“So are you home for good Joel?”
He looked back at me, those blue eyes bright. “I don’t know. Dad wants me to take over the ranch, so I have that to deal with. I have thought about hiring some managers.”
“Don’t you like working here?”
Joel shrugged and it was clear that he didn’t. It was the reason he had went into the military. He wanted out of there and the service was his way. Now that he was back, I wondered how the ranch would run. It was not for the faint of heart. There was a constant stream of work to be done and someone had to make sure that it all got done. I had heard how good he was at training, so I guess I had assumed that he would like it as much as I did, but I guess not. Why was it that everyone that didn’t want to train could make it and I couldn’t?
“Can you honestly tell me that you like working here?”
I nodded. I was not ashamed to love it at the ranch. How could I not? “Of course. That’s why I am here. If I didn’t like it or hope to be a trainer one day, I wouldn’t still be here. I could have went to college, but I would much rather work with the horses than be stuck in an office somewhere.”
Joel looked down at me for a minute. “I actually believe you.”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“Because people very rarely say what they actually mean.”
“Well I don’t see a point in saying anything if I don’t mean it. Seems like a waste of time.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Though you didn’t mean what you said earlier.”
I had lied, or omitted. It was technical, but I hadn’t felt good about it after doing it. I didn’t want to lie to him, but my loyalty was to my friend. “Yes well, your sister is my best friend so it would have been pretty crummy of me to rat her out. Don’t you think? Hoo-rah and all of that.”
“That’s the Army. I am a Marine.”
“Well whatever you are, they have certainly made a man out of you.”
I looked away, not believing that I had just said that. I was missing my filter or more specifically my brain in general with him around. He wasn’t even flirting with me. It was just having him in such a close proximity.
“You think so huh?”
Nodding without looking at him. “I am sure you will have no lack of admirers here.”
Joel didn’t answer and I thought he had walked off. Turning back towards him after I hung up the last of the streamers, he was still standing there. “So nineteen, huh?”
I giggled a little. “Yep all grown up. How old are you now?”
“Twenty-four.”
I could have cared less how old he was. I just wanted to keep talking to him. He was so quiet for so long and then back to talking. Something was different about Joel. It was like he was battling his own demons, but none of that mattered when I looked into his haunted eyes. “So why are you so worried about how old I am Joel?”
He shrugged. “Just curious. You seem too young.”
“Too young for what?”
Joel didn’t answer me. He just smiled in such a way. I waited for him to answer and it looked like he was about to say something before I heard Amber behind me. I wanted to turn around and tell her to piss off but of course I couldn’t. She didn’t have Mack with her, so at least I wouldn’t have to be there for that. I was sure that Joel would dislike him as much as the rest of us did. I didn’t know if it would be best to hope for a fight. Then maybe Amber would see what a jerk he was.
It was almost poetic that they walked up about the same time that I started musing. I could tell they had just had sex Amber had that glow to her. She was a bit shocked that Joel was already home and her face faltered. But she was quick to recover and moved to give her big brother a hug. I saw Mack standing off by the house fence.
“Big brother you have gotten bigger. What have they been feeding you there?”
He chuckled and I loved the way it sounded. “A lot better than mom can cook, but don’t tell her I said that.”
Amber told him that she wouldn’t and she smiled up at him. She was happy to see him whether she wanted to admit it or not. I had known her to long for her to convince me of otherwise. Amber was always a bit complicated.
I left the two to talk and catch up. I had told Maddie that I would help her with the cooking. Their mom wasn’t as bad of a cook as they made her out to be and she was getting better. Maddie had become like a mother to me and we had been cooking together for quite a time. I had learned a while ago, having to cook for dad, so in a way I was teaching her. She had always had a cook or someone else to do it, so she just never learned. Maddie was getting better and Joel might be surprised of the changes. Surely the military wasn’t coming up with better food than her. I had heard about his appetite.
“Thank goodness you are here Shannon. I don’t remember what I was supposed to do with the steaks. The grill is ready and they are still out.”
“That’s good. They need to be closer to room tempe
rature. Just put some salt on them and they will be ready in ten minutes to put out there. Why are you so worried?”
Maddie was worried about Joel being there. Amber was right in that they felt he was the golden child, but I felt like there was more to it. Families were always filled with secrets and the Fishers were no different. It was like a mystery I was dying to unravel and I knew Joel was one of the missing pieces.
“You know how I get. And I just want everything to be perfect for when he gets here.”
I didn’t know how she didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that he was out there helping with the party, instead of coming in to say hello to his mother. I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be there when the other piece strolled in. The Fishers were like family to me in some ways, but I was thankful to be out of the darker side of it.
“It will be fine. He hasn’t been home in years, so just seeing you Maddie will be enough. I am sure he will be here soon and then everything will be okay.”
“I hope so. I keep having this fear that he is going to call and decide to stay in the service. The two Fisher men have a hard time communicating, so I just hope that he didn’t say something when he talked to him last week. Ray has a tendency to be too harsh with Joel. He has been treating him like a man since he was five. It’s a lot of pressure and I know that is why Joel left in the first place.”
I tried to tell her it would be okay. I took over in the kitchen. It was part of the reason Maddie had such a hard time cooking is she was so distracted all the time. I had seen her once burn chicken by boiling all of the water out. I don’t even remember what she was trying to make, but I found that an almost impossible feat to manage.
“Why don’t you go and get ready Maddie? Take a few minutes to calm down and get to feeling better.” She needed to relax, but it was hard for her and I knew that. So, I didn’t really give her much of a choice. I just told her to go. After a minute she nodded, knowing that what she was doing was not going to make anything better. Maddie was a worrier.
About the time she was going upstairs, I was taking the raw steaks to the grill to be cooked. Dante and a few of his friends were there on grill detail and before long I could hear the sizzle as I went back into the kitchen. People were starting to arrive, so I needed to start getting some of the trays out. Amber was back in from talking with Joel and he was a few feet behind her coming in. “Go upstairs and say hello to your mother Joel.”
He looked at me strangely, but I didn’t let it bother me. “She is worried sick that you aren’t coming, so go. I can’t believe you haven’t went and seen her yet.”
Joel’s eyes questioned me for a minute, but then he did as I asked. Amber kind of smiled before I handed her a tray to take out there. “You are scary when you start taking things over, you know that right?”
I did, but it was the only way to get things done sometimes. While everyone else was worrying and upset, someone had to make sure that the food got down and Maddie’s feelings didn’t get hurt.
Chapter 3: Joel
I looked back at her once more and she had already dismissed me to do something else. There was no guile in the way she looked at me from before, Shannon was all business. I found it almost laughable that so many men were afraid of me and then this woman talks to me in such a way without a second notice. It was clear that she did not feel the same sentiment towards me as others. My time in the service meant nothing to her and I liked that.
The fact that she had told me to go see my mother was also a surprise. Our family was one of the types that didn’t show affection very often. Even my mother found it hard and I wondered why she had said something. Who was this woman in my mother’s kitchen, ordering me to go see her? I thought Shannon was Amber’s friend, but now I was starting to see that she had more than just Amber under her wing.
More surprising than anything else though, I listened to her. I did need to go see mom and I found myself climbing the stairs in the direction I was pointed in. It was as close to an order as I had gotten since I was discharged a few weeks before. Shannon was good at it and I didn’t mind it all that much. I don’t know what that said about me, but she was starting to make a bigger impression on me the more I got to know about her.
Knocking on my parent’s door, I heard my mom call out to come in. As soon as I seen her, I knew that it was the right call to come up there. She started to cry, a woman always full of emotions and though it embarrassed me slightly, I knew it was better done up there away from everyone else.
“Son, you are home! I was starting to wonder if I would ever see you again.”
I hugged her or tried not to let her suffocate me. Soldiers that I worked with didn’t have the strength she exhibited. “Yes, I told you I would be home today. What is going on here? Looks like a party.”
“Well it was supposed to be a surprise, but it looks like you already know. Food will be done soon. I haven’t forgotten your appetite.”
I pulled back finally as she kissed my cheek. “I have to admit, it smells good in the kitchen. Did you get a new cook?”
“No, that is all Shannon. She has been helping me cook for a while now. I haven’t had a cook since a few months after she got here. That girl is a whiz in the kitchen. Have you two met yet?”
There was a twinkle in her eyes that I didn’t know what to think of. It was obvious she had something in her mind to say, but she didn’t. Like everyone else in the family, Maddie liked her secrets.
“Yeah I met her when I first came in. She is Travis’ daughter, right?”
“Yes. She works here too now. Shannon almost went off to college, but I convinced her to stay. Your father wouldn’t let her train horses, but she stayed around anyways. She lights up like you used to when you would ride.”
I didn’t know what to say to all of the information she was throwing at me. Was my mother trying to set me up with her? It sounded like it. “I am sure she is great, she seemed nice. So how have you been? You look good.”
“Well I feel great. Once your father retires, we are planning on taking a trip for a few months, do some traveling. I can’t wait and I know you are going to do great.”
I nodded and helped her out of the bedroom. She was asking question a mile a minute all the way downstairs and I tried my best to answer her. Maddie had changed in some way, she seemed happier and I was glad to see her smiling so much. I wondered what had made all these changes in the home. There was a new life there and I couldn’t help but notice Shannon on my way back downstairs. I had a feeling she had something to do with all of the changes going on.
***
It seemed like everyone I had ever known was at the party later. I couldn’t remember half of their names but everyone seemed to know who I was. It was a bit overwhelming and the truth was I would have much rather had a dinner with just the family. There were too many people around and I found myself walking outside towards the barn. My horse was there and I wanted to see if he would remember me.
Walking away from the music and towards one of many barns on the property, I heard humming the closer I got. I walked a little lighter and a little slower. I wondered who it was and a picture of Shannon came to mind. She looked like she would sound good. It seemed the woman was good at a multitude of things. Her cooking had been wonderful and she had a grace about her. It wouldn’t surprise me if she could sing birds out of the sky as well.
I stopped in the opening, her silhouette against the side of the barn. I didn’t know the tune, but it had such a melancholy sound to it, I was drawn to it. It sounded like I felt. Getting closer, I stood at the opening for some time listening to her.
Thunder had the same colored hair as hers, jet black. It was my horse that she was singing to and I wondered suddenly why she was out her as well. Was she trying to get away from all of the sound? There was something right to her feeling the same comfort as me with the animals.
When she finally stopped, I wanted to say something, but the air was still ringing
with her sound and it would have been wrong to disrupt the silence. She finished brushing him and it gave me time to take her in. She was shorter than I normally liked my women, but her curves made me look again. As she bent over, her long legs lengthened in her shorts and I made a sound that had her turning around.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“No, you just scared me is all. I didn’t see you standing there. He’s ready for a ride if that is what you were looking to do.”
It was like she was reading my mind. I thought of a puppet master, pulling the strings of everyone around her. “That was exactly what I was looking to do. How did you know?”
“If I had been away for four years, this is where I would be. So I just figured you might. The saddle is over there ready whenever you are. He has missed you.”
“You read horse’s minds as well?”
She just giggled a little. “Horses are so much simpler than people, aren’t they?”
“I guess they are.”
“Well, have a nice ride Joel.”
“Where are you going?” She had started to walk away and I could feel the warmth in the place leaving with her.
“Back in to serve dessert. You haven’t even had any cake yet.”
I shrugged. “Come with me?”
“Where?”
“Anywhere.”
“What about the party?”
“What about it? Do you really want to go back there?”
“No. Not really. Too many people all trying to talk at once.”
“So just come with me. I need to ride around the property anyways.”
“But it’s dark.”
“You never ride at night?”
“Fine, let me get my horse and I will meet you by the gates.”
I was a little disappointed. I wanted her to ride with me, feel her large chest against my back. There was no discussion about it because she was already gone. Getting Thunder saddled and moving towards the gate, she was already there next to a large white horse. It suited her, the clash of hair and it made her stand out in the dying light around us. Soon there would be only the moon to guide us and the familiarity of the property. It had been a while, but not so long.