“I thought you had a date with Nick the Dick?”
“I did but we’re playing it by ear. He isn’t a dick, Care. I just had a moment. All women have crazy moments.”
“Crazy? I think you were a step beyond crazy.”
Finishing off the bottle, Melody replied, “Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome. Not perfect. And besides, you should talk. Weren’t you in a relationship with that couch for a few weeks?”
“Ha ha. Shut up. Sometimes even I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies. And smacks me across the face.” I threw a balled-up napkin at her.
“Dude! You almost spilled. Don’t commit a party foul just because your date got put on hold.”
“So.” I hopped up and opened the fridge. “What are we going to do for dinner? I’m starving.”
“Why don’t we just go to Murphy’s? They have great sandwiches and their French onion soup is to die for.”
I turned and closed the fridge. “I guess we can do that. Why not? I have to meet Ryan there later anyway. Let me change my clothes. Be ready in five.”
“Care, I want to borrow something to wear. I came straight here from work.”
“Sure. Come on.”
“Don’t worry! I’ll just sit here and keep the wine company,” Sarah yelled through the apartment.
Melody ran back to the kitchen, grabbed her glass, and met me back in my room.
“So how was work?” I asked as I stripped off my shirt and walked to my closet.
“Oh, you know. We’re all falling into financial ruin. The economy is going to collapse and only those with stockpiles of gold and bitcoins will make it through the apocalypse. You know, normal stuff.”
“Sounds like fun.”
“It will be.”
“What do you want to wear?”
“I don’t know. I’m hoping Nick will get off work early.”
“What does he do again?” I asked as I riffled through my closet, throwing everything that caught my eye on the bed.
“He’s in a band.”
I froze and had to mentally talk myself out of a sarcastic response. “A band?” I closed my eyes and hoped I didn’t sound judgmental.
“Yeah. He plays guitar.”
“That’s cool.” I finally collected myself enough to face her. “We should go see him sometime.”
“Maybe.” Melody held up a burgundy long-sleeved, low-cut cashmere sweater. “How’s this?”
“With your boobs? It will be perfect.”
“I do have great boobs. My plastic surgeon is a genius. Look, I know Nick isn’t anyone’s dream man but I’ve had enough relationship lemons thrown at me that I now know when to grab the tequila and salt.” She unbuttoned her shirt and threw it on my floor before pulling the sweater over her head. Stepping over to my full-length mirror, she turned to the side and sucked in her nonexistent gut. “Good?”
“It looks great.”
“I wish it covered my ass a bit more. Not everyone can have a tight butt like you.” She walked over and slapped my ass.
“Good genes. Should I wear this?” I held up an off the shoulder baby blue tunic sweater. It was fuzzy and soft. Kind of like jammies.
“Didn’t we just talk about your ass? That will cover it up.”
“Ryan’s already seen my ass. Besides, I’ll keep on the jeans and I can flip it up if I think he forgot what it looks like.”
“True. I like it.”
“Care! You got a text message. Who’s Michael?” Sarah called through the door.
“Michael?” Melody raised her eyebrows.
I opened the door and grabbed the phone.
Looking forward to next Saturday. Don’t forget—wear a dress. You have great legs.
“Michael. I’ll need at least another two or three drinks to explain about Michael. Let’s go and I swear I will fill you two in at dinner. I want your perspective anyway.”
“Why does he want you to wear a dress? Where are you going?”
“He’s an author. There’s a dinner. Let’s get out of here. I need to eat.”
“That bad, huh?” Sarah whispered.
“Um, yeah. That bad.”
Chapter Fourteen
At six thirty on a Friday night, Murphy’s was packed for happy hour. Brian was busy behind the bar and when he turned and noticed the three of us walking in, he stopped mid martini shake and winked.
“Dinner or just drinks?” he shouted over the din of people in work attire.
“Both!” Sarah shouted back.
I would have answered but I was momentarily awed. Who knew so many arm muscles flexed when shaking a martini shaker?
“Hold on! I have a table in the back for special guests.”
“Special guests, huh? I bet he’s sending us to the back so he can check out your ass.”
“Not funny. I’m meeting up with Ryan later.”
“At least you remember his name.”
“That’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.”
Dropping my shoulders, I acquiesced. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
We followed one of the waitresses to the back of the bar, and off to the corner was a huge table for ten. It was just secluded enough to avoid most of the asshattery that was par for the course in a bar on a Friday night but close enough to the pool table to still feel like part of the crowd.
“Drinks?”
“Two bottles of Cab.”
“No problem. Specials are on the board.”
The girls had their noses stuffed into their menus. I was starving but for some reason my attention was on the bar. There were two bartenders to keep up with the drink orders. Brian had his sleeves pushed up to his elbows and I noticed the bar towel tucked into his distressed jeans. I watched as he hopped up on a stool and reached for a bottle on the top shelf. Our waitress was standing off to the side talking to a customer with our two bottles and three glasses on a tray.
“I’m having the French onion. Like I said, it’s so good.” Melody leaned back and stretched her arms over her head.
“Chicken Caesar salad.” Sarah folded her menu and pushed it off to the side of our table.
I hadn’t even looked at the menu. I picked it up quickly, but not before catching the two exchange a look.
“What?”
“I don’t know why you didn’t just go for Brian to begin with,” Sarah offered.
“He wasn’t the target.” I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Maybe not. But he is hot.”
“So?”
“So? You haven’t stopped checking him out since we got here.”
“Oh, please. I’m just looking around for our waitress. She’s over there talking to some customer. Not sure what she’s waiting for.”
“Testy much?”
“I’m not testy.”
“I think we still need to hear all about this Michael character.”
“I second that!” Melody raised her hand.
The waitress came just in time to pour the first glass of wine. I suddenly felt like I needed the drink.
I spent the next bottle and a half explaining Michael Mortimer. I described every come-on, every subtle and not so subtle cue, and every reaction from Yolanda. By the time I was finished, I felt like I’d told a life story, and the events were only from the past week!
“So, what do you guys think?”
“You already agreed to go to the dinner thing with him?” Sarah poured another glass as I nodded.
“And he’s hot?” Melody piped in.
“Well, yeah. But is that really the point? Yolanda and Mr. Little want me to go, anyway.”
“Of course it is. Listen, Care.” Melody leaned in. It was Serious Mel time. “Take advantage of the opportunity. So what if this guy’s a weirdo? As long as he’s a decent guy, what do you have to lose? It’s not like you’re promising him anything. It’s a night out with a good-looking guy.”
“But he’s a client!” Sarah chime
d in. “That alone should keep her away. Caroline doesn’t want to lose her job over this. It’s like I told you, Mel. Your boss may be hot but, for one, he’s your boss and, two, he’s married.” She ticked off her points on outstretched fingers.
“True. Both of you have valid points. I think, though, this dinner I agreed to would fall under work. Especially since my boss is sending me to represent the company. I mean, Michael’s getting some literary award and if I accompany him to the event in the name of the house then I can chalk it up to work, right?”
“Exactly.”
“Be careful.”
My friends spoke at once. At the same time, a young guy stumbled in our direction and plopped down in the chair next to Sarah.
Though he was dressed nicely, he reeked of alcohol.
“Hey, baby doll,” he slurred, his eyes half closed, as he sidled up to Sarah. Way too drunk to have been drinking only during happy hour.
“Uh, hey.” Sarah pushed his hand off her thigh. Melody leaned over and draped her arm around Sarah’s shoulders.
“What’s up, buddy?” Melody softly rubbed her nose along Sarah’s cheek.
“Just hangin’. Came over to see what you hot chicks are doing tonight.”
“Her.” Melody licked Sarah’s ear.
Sarah turned a lovely shade of crimson as she tried not to laugh.
“Oh, yeah. I’m down with that.” The guy leaned closer and his hand started kneading his crotch. Thankfully my stomach was empty or I would have vomited all over him.
“You might be but we aren’t. I’m strictly into pussy.” The way Melody overpronounced her “p” was actually kind of sexy. I emptied the bottle into my glass, sat back, and watched the show.
The guy’s eyes widened as Melody caressed Sarah’s breasts. Sarah was about to fall into a fit of laughter. Melody, on the other hand, looked as serious as a heart attack.
“Come on. There’s you, me, her. It’s a no-brainer.”
Wine actually came out of my nose. I busied myself cleaning off my face and tried not to break out into a hysterical fit of laughter.
“You know what else is a no-brainer?” Melody leaned in and ran her hands through his hair.
“What?”
Melody whispered in his ear loud enough for the rest of us to hear. “You.”
“Damn straight!” He banged his fist on the table. I think he thought she was complimenting him.
“So,” Melody continued as she licked Sarah’s face, “when the voices speak to you, do you poke them with cotton swabs?”
“Huh?” Horny butterface looked confused.
“There are some ladies over there who’d probably be more into dick than we are.” Melody nodded toward a gaggle of college girls. “Why don’t you go hit them up? Your cock won’t get wet over here, baby doll.”
The guy looked over to where Melody directed him and plastered a huge smile on his face. “Well, if you ladies change your minds, you know where to find me.” He dropped his business card on the table and walked away.
“Hey!” Melody called out to him.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t forget to be awesome, man!”
His face broke out into a lewd smile and, as he turned and walked away, the three of us broke into loud fits of laughter.
“What the fuck, Mel?” Sarah snorted as she shoved her hand in her shirt, putting her boobs back into her bra, then grabbed a napkin to wipe off her face.
“What? As your best friend it’s my duty to always pretend to be your lesbian lover whenever you are getting hit on by an ugly asshole at a bar.”
“You’re awfully convincing.”
“Aw, Care. You jealous? Next time, it’s your turn.” She wiggled her eyebrows and ran her tongue across her lips.
“Weirdo.”
The waitress came by with another two bottles and a martini glass with a pink drink, which she handed to me.
“What’s this?” I lifted the glass, smelled it, and took a sip.
“Wet Pussy.”
I spit out the sip.
“What?”
The waitress looked bored. “Yeah. Brian sent it over. Said you liked kinky drinks. So, you ready to order?”
Melody and Sarah peeked around the corner and waved to Brian, laughing hysterically.
“Well, uh, tell him I said thanks. I’ll have the cheeseburger, medium rare.”
“Fries?”
“Huh?” I was distracted by the view I had of Brian’s ass as he once again climbed the stool to reach the top shelf.
“Do you want French fries?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Chicken Caesar salad.”
“French onion soup.”
“I’ll be back with your orders. Enjoy your pussy.” I am pretty sure that was sarcasm.
It was Sarah’s turn to spit out her drink.
“Oh my God, Care!”
“He’s just being silly from the other weekend.”
“I don’t know.”
“What time is it?” I pushed to change the topic.
Sarah looked at her phone. “Seven fifteen. Why?”
“Ryan won’t be here until nine.”
“So?”
“So nothing. Just making conversation.” I sipped my Wet Pussy.
Sarah stared at me. “So that’s what our conversations are reduced to? Commentary of the comings and goings of who you’re dating?”
“No. Don’t be an ass.”
“Care, it’s Friday night. Relax. Party on,” Sarah reasoned.
“I like to party,” I mused.
“And by party,” Mel interrupted, “she means take naps.”
“Shut up!” I laughed. They were right. I needed to be less socially awkward.
Thankfully, the waitress brought our food relatively quickly. I was starving. As I took a large bite of burger, Brian walked over, pulled out the chair next to me, and sat down.
“What’s up, ladies? Finally, the crowd is thinning out.”
I couldn’t talk. I had too much food in my mouth. I couldn’t even chew. I was sure a glob of ketchup, or mayonnaise, had made its home at the corner of my mouth. The juice of the tomato squirted onto the table. I averted my eyes, turned my head, stared wide eyed at Melody and Sarah—anything to avoid the painfully embarrassing cavewoman display of my eating a cheeseburger in front of Brian.
“You okay, Care?” Melody asked with a sweet smile on her face. I wanted to punch her. In the face. With a chair.
“That’s an awfully big bite. I didn’t know that much could fit in there.” Brian smiled at me. “Good to know.”
My response was unintelligible and ended with a spray of hamburger meat on Brian’s shirt. I wanted to crawl under the table and die.
“No one likes a spitter, Care.” Sarah pointed out. How lovely of her. I began to choke on my food.
Brian smacked me on the back and laughed.
“Drink something.” He poured a glass of wine from the bottle on the table and pushed it over to me before pulling out his towel and wiping his shirt.
I shook my head, took a sip, and managed to melt the food small enough to fit down my throat.
“Thank you,” I squeaked out.
“Anytime. So you’re meeting Ryan later?” he asked as he pilfered a fry from my plate.
“Yeah. How late are you working?”
“Closing. Fridays are always busy.”
“I can see that. Nice drink choice by the way.” I nodded to my empty glass.
“You like that? I have plenty more where that came from, in case, you know, you need someone to help you pick up your target.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
It was official. I was going to die of embarrassment.
“So Brian.” Thankfully Sarah realized I was sinking and rescued me. “What do you do when you aren’t tending bar and passing along liquid sexual innuendo to our girl Caroline?”
“You know, I’m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it’s hard. So hard.”
&
nbsp; Thankfully my mouth was not full of cheesy meat when I laughed.
“If you leave the sexual innuendo door open, even the slightest bit, I’ll come crashing through like the Kool-Aid man,” Melody quipped.
“Then remind me to always keep the door locked!” Brian laughed.
“You’re pretty funny, Bartender Brian. It’s a scientific fact that dirty talk and sexual innuendo are the strongest foundations of friendship.” Melody was definitely on board. Anyone expert in dirty banter was tops in her mind.
“Then I’m the best friend one could ever have. Having the ability to turn any thought into a sexual innuendo is a mark of the truly talented.”
“Who knew,” Sarah asked, “the bartender was not only hot but fully entertaining?”
“I just work here. I took it over when my dad died and left it to me. It’s been mine about a year now.”
“So you’re Murphy.”
“Yep. Brian Murphy, at your service. Look, the bar’s heating up again. Need anything, let me know. I’ll stop back later. Oh, yeah, I’ll be sending a few friends back here, too. It’s my only reserved station. You ladies don’t mind, do you?” He looked at me when he asked.
“No. Not at all. The more the merrier.” Melody looked happy. She was probably hoping a guy would come back here and rescue her from Nick the Dick the Guitar-Playing Douche.
As if on cue, three guys walked to the back table.
“Shouldn’t you be working?” A tall man with easy blue eyes and ruffled red hair high-fived Brian.
“I’ll send some pitchers over. Sit, the ladies don’t mind.”
Another one of Brian’s friends, this one with dark eyes, stubble, and short dark hair, smiled.
“You must be Caroline. I’m Dan, this is Drew,” he said, pointing at the redhead, “and this is Berk.”
Berk wore a cardigan, tight white T-shirt, black jeans, and superthick black plastic frames. I liked him already.
“Nice to meet you. How do you know I’m Caroline?” I teased.
“Ryan and Brian talk so much about you, I feel like I could pick you out in a lineup. Stand up for a minute.”
I stood.
“Turn around.”
I turned around.
Dan lifted my sweater a little bit. “Yup. It’s you.”
I stiffened and turned to face Brian. “So you’ve been talking about me?”
Brian smiled. “Well, I kept going on and on about your personality, then I realized how much of a bonus that ass was.”
Operation One Night Stand Page 11