I walked slowly across my yard to my friend’s, glancing up at my daughter, who smiled and waved at me, thinking how wonderful it would be if Gabe was a permanent fixture in our lives, a man we could both count on for the long haul.
Chapter Five
Gabe
I knew I should feel bad that Liz and her kids hadn’t been able to join us, but as I watched Char play fetch with Poncho while I enjoyed a nightcap with Kendra, I couldn’t shake the feeling the day could not have been more perfect.
Even though Kendra and I hadn’t been alone for a single second, there seemed to be a new level of intimacy to our relationship and I was dying to know whether she felt it too. “So, uh, when did you decide to start dating again?” I asked, knowing I had to figure out whether she and Mike had hit it off last night.
“It wasn’t really planned,” she admitted, enjoying the last sip of her Merlot. “Lizzie and I were just talking and the subject of her boss came up. She said he was interested in me and that I should give it a try, see how it goes.”
“And…?” I asked, reaching for the wine bottle on the table between us and setting it back down when she declined a refill with the shake of her head. “How did it go? You didn’t have much to say about it earlier.”
“He’s a nice guy,” she said. “I like him.” I thought that was all I was going to get until she added, “But I think he’s more suited to Liz than me.”
I released a slow breath, wondering if she could tell how relieved I was. “What makes you think that?”
She shrugged, smiling when Char fell on the grass and Poncho climbed on top of her, licking her face. “Call it women’s intuition, I guess. I know Liz and the kind of man she usually goes for.”
I didn’t think Liz dated much, claiming she was more interested in her work and raising her children than getting involved with a man who demanded too much of her time. “And what kind is that?” I asked, setting my empty beer can on the flagstone patio.
She leaned back in the Adirondack chair with a contented sigh as we both admired the dipping sun painting the sky with streaks of peach and mauve.
“Someone who understands how hard it is to be a good parent, who knows how important her career is to her, who doesn’t expect too much from her.” She pulled the throw I’d brought outside over her legs as she rested them on the painted footstool. “He has to be her friend first and foremost, which Mike already is. He has to have a good sense of humour, treat her right…. be her companion without trying to run her life.”
“Because that was her ex-husband’s M.O.,” I said, remembering the story Liz had told me about her controlling and manipulative ex-husband, who was no longer in the picture, even as a father to his children.
“Right.” Looking disgusted, Kendra said, “He really did put her through hell. She deserves a good man this time around, someone who’ll love her and her kids.”
“And you think Mike might be that guy?” I watched Char close her eyes, wondering if she might konk out right there in the freshly mowed grass, forcing me to carry her next door and tuck her into bed. Not that I’d mind.
“I’d like to think so,” Kendra said, tipping her head to smile at me. “Lizzie likes to pretend that she’s so tough, that she doesn’t need anyone, but everyone needs someone, right?”
I’d lived most of my life alone, with the exception of a few girlfriends I’d known were just passing through. Whenever I was lonely, it was easy to find a hook-up for the night, but I’d rarely wanted them to stay past breakfast.
“You don’t think so?” she asked when I didn’t respond. “Maybe it’s just me. I can’t help but think that life is meant to be shared.”
“You might be right,” I said, thinking about the love all of my brothers had found. Each one of them was lucky enough to wake up to their best friend every morning, something I knew none of them took for granted.
“You ever think about getting married, Gabe?” she asked, lowering her voice when it became obvious both Char and the dog had dozed off.
“Sometimes,” I admitted. “Now that I’m settled with a good job, a home I like, hell, I’ve even got the dog…” It wasn’t easy for me to open up to anyone, not even my brothers, but Kendra wasn’t just my neighbor, she was my friend. “Maybe it’s time for me to think about settling down.”
“You’re great with kids,” she said, gesturing to her daughter. “Would you like to be a dad someday?”
“I think so.” Seeing my brother Nex with his baby daughter had stirred a longing in me I hadn’t felt before. “Someday.” I thought about Char’s earlier confession about wanting a little sister when I asked, “What about you? You think you’ll have any more kids?”
“I’d love to,” she said, pulling her legs up so the soles of her flip-flops rested on the edge of the foot stool. “If I find the right person.”
“You make it sound like there’s no way you and Jason will get back together—”
“We won’t.” She finally looked me in the eye when she said, “But I’ve told you that before. Why won’t you believe me?”
I watched her lick her lips, wondering if it was a silent invitation to kiss her, something I’d been fighting the urge to do for months. “You have a daughter to consider,” I whispered, my eyes straying to the little body lying peacefully on the grass. “Maybe I want to believe you’ll find a way to put your family back together… for her sake.”
“I’d do anything for my daughter,” she whispered fiercely. “Except let a man mistreat me. I don’t want to set that kind of example for her. I want her to know that people will treat her poorly if she accepts it, but they’ll treat her with respect if she respects herself and demands it of others.”
She made it so hard not to fall for her. She was smart and independent, fiercely protective of her daughter, yet soft and sweet at the same time, as though she didn’t need a shoulder to lean on but wouldn’t mind the offer of one, from the right person.
“You’re right,” I conceded. “I know Char is too young to understand now, but she will someday.” I had to ask, mainly because the question had been plaguing me ever since Kendra moved in next door. “Jason claims he’d only cheated on you once…” When she rolled her eyes, I added, “He said there was only that one woman. You don’t believe him?”
“No, I don’t.” She crossed her arms and suspecting she was getting cold, I pulled the blanket up to cover her arms. She rewarded me with a smile before she said, “I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, for Char’s sake, but the signs were all there. That woman just gave me the push I needed to end things for good.”
“Do you blame her?” I’d never heard Kendra say anything about the woman who’d helped end her marriage, but I couldn’t help being curious about whether she harbored any ill will toward her. “You know, for luring Jason away from his family?”
She laughed before shaking her head. “She didn’t lure him away. He went willingly. I have no doubt about that.”
“So you’re not bitter?”
Kendra pondered that question before she said, “I don’t respect what she did, but I don’t hate her if that’s what you’re asking. Jason was the one who made the commitment to me, not her.”
I admired her outlook, but if my wife had cheated on me with another man, I would have torn him apart. “How do you feel about him?” I debated asking such an intensely personal question, but I had to know before this went any further. “Do you still love him?”
“He’s the father of my child,” she said softly, looking up at the stars starting to sprinkle the sky. “I suppose a part of me will always love him. How can I not, right? He gave me the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I can understand that. But you’re not in love with him anymore?”
“I hadn’t been for a long time if you want to know the truth.” She released a shaky breath. “That isn’t easy to admit because it means I was as responsible for the breakdown of my marriage as Jason was. He may have been
the one to cheat, but I think I was the one who checked out emotionally even before that happened.”
“Why?” It was scary to think that she’d once loved him only to wake up one morning and decide she didn’t anymore. If I took a chance on her, would I suffer the same fate eventually?
“My mother raised a good point when we talked a few days ago.” She seemed reluctant to share, but finally admitted, “It was hard to hear at first. I wanted to deny it, but after taking some time to think about it, I realized she was right.”
She sighed as I waited for her to continue, wondering what her big epiphany might have been. “She implied that every man wants to feel that his wife needs him. He doesn’t want to feel dispensable.”
I could understand that. As much as I admired Kendra’s independent streak, if we were in a relationship, I’d want to know I’d be the one she called on when she needed help. “And you think that’s the way you made Jason feel?”
“I know it is.” She swallowed, almost as though she were choking on regret. “I can see that, looking back. It certainly doesn’t excuse what he did—”
“Definitely not.”
“But maybe it does explain it.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “I like to think that I’ve changed over the past year and a half, that I’ve grown as a person and I’m a better mom because of it. I guess the next step is working on being a better partner so if I ever do find the right man, I’ll be ready to pursue a relationship with him.”
I felt the disappointment of her words settle over me. She’d once given me the impression she thought I could be the right man, or at least someone she’d like to get to know better. Now it seemed as though she’d abandoned that idea. Not that I could blame her, since I’d been the one to list the reasons we would never work.
Finally finding my voice, I asked, “How do you intend to work on that if you’re on your own? Isn’t that kind of a trial-and-error thing, learning to depend on someone else, when that’s never been your strong suit?”
“I’ve come to depend on you,” she said softly, reaching for my hand. “I like knowing that you’re right next door. That I can call you if I have a leaky faucet or window that won’t open.” She smiled. “I guess I have come to rely on you without even realizing it.”
I held my breath, wondering if she was about to tell me she needed me in her life. I hoped so because I was beginning to think she was as inextricably linked to my happiness as a woman had ever been.
“I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m using you. I could always call a handyman, but—”
“It doesn’t sound that way at all.” Turning to face her, I whispered, “I like that I’m your go-to guy.”
She bit her lip before turning her attention from her daughter to me. “I didn’t even realize you were until I started to think more about what my mother said to me. That’s when I realized I’d never needed a man before, not even Jason. Yet somehow you managed to slip past my defenses without even trying.”
I inched my chair closer to hers, careful not to make too much noise so I wouldn’t wake the sleepy-heads. “That goes both ways, you know. I’ve been fighting my attraction to you ever since you moved in. You have to know that.”
Her eyes closed as I brushed a strand of hair off her forehead when it slipped into her line of vision. “I wanted to believe it went both ways, but you seemed so adamant that it could never work. I told myself to just forget about it, to give up on you. But that was easier said than done.”
“Is that why you went out with Mike last night?” I asked, feeling the same ache I’d felt when I saw her climb into his flashy sports car, wondering if I’d just let the best thing that ever happened to me get away because I’d been too stupid and spineless to fight for what I wanted. “Because you want to get over this… thing between us.”
“Is there a thing between us?” she asked, blinking heavily, as though it was difficult for her to keep her eyes open with my fingertips trailing down her cheek.
“You know there is. I know there is. I just don’t know where it’s going or how far we should let it go.”
“I know this isn’t easy for you,” she conceded. “Jason not only works for you. He’s your friend, and I know you’re not the kind of guy who’d ever mess with your friend’s wife. Even when they are separated.”
“I never thought I’d find myself in a situation like this,” I admitted, linking her hand through mine before bringing it to my lips while our eyes locked in the soft glow of the lights flanking the back door. “But here I am falling for you, and to tell the truth, I’m feeling pretty helpless to control it.”
“It’s not like we just met, Gabe. We’ve known each other a long time.” Her voice was soft, almost as though she were afraid of breaking the spell.
“Yeah, but most of that time you were Jason’s wife. As beautiful as you are, I never allowed myself to imagine the possibility you could be mine. You were his. His wife. The mother of his child.”
At the mention of her daughter, Kendra’s gaze travelled to Char. “She loves her daddy and I wouldn’t want it any other way. She doesn’t see his faults and I would never be the one to point them out to her, no matter what. She is his daughter and always will be. As for me, I haven’t been Jason’s in a long time, and I have no desire to be again.”
We were inches apart when she turned her head, and all of the reasons I’d been telling myself to keep my distance fled in the face of her beauty. In that moment, she was everything I’d ever wanted and I wanted to show her how special she was, how much I wanted her, and how hard it had been for me to fight that.
“You are so stunning,” I whispered seconds before my lips touched hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle and tentative, the opposite of my usual approach with women. But then Kendra wasn’t like anyone else I’d known.
A slow smile spread across her face when I inched back to try to read her expression. “I was wondering if you’d ever kiss me, Chief. It was definitely worth the wait.”
***
Kendra
Liz and I were sitting on a park bench the following day, watching our kids play, when she finally asked, “How was your date with Mike? He’s great, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is.” I curled my hand around the to-go cup we’d picked up at the café on the corner, agreeing we needed the caffeine to see us through the rest of the day.
“So, you’re going to see him again?” she asked, obviously trying to play it cool. That’s when I knew.
“What if I were?” I watched her carefully, trying to read her reaction. “Would that bother you?”
She snickered, shaking her head. “Why would it bother me? I was the one who set you up, remember?”
“Yeah, why’d you do that when it’s obvious he’s more your type than mine?”
She slipped her oversized sunglasses up on her head. “What are you talking about? What makes you think that?”
“Just answer the question. Why did you set me up with him?”
She sighed before setting her coffee down on the bench beside her. “The truth? Because he’s a great guy and totally off-limits to me.” She shrugged. “You’re my friend. You deserve somebody incredible in your life. If it can’t be Gabe, why not Mike?”
I hadn’t told Lizzie about the kiss Gabe and I had shared last night, though I had to tell someone before I burst with excitement. But first thing’s first. “Why is Mike off-limits to you, because he’s your boss?”
“Yeah. He has this strict policy against dating his employees. I think he’s been burned before.”
“He has,” I confirmed. “I heard all about it. But I happen to know he’d be willing to make an exception for you.”
Her jaw dropped before she curled her hand around my knee. “Oh my God! Did he tell you that?”
I giggled, thinking it had been a long time since I’d seen my friend so excited. “He did. In fact, I think he intends to ask you out. Please tell me you’ll say yes. He’s so perfect for you, Liz.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” I said, withdrawing my hand from hers before she squashed it. “I thought we told each other everything.”
“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you told me about your date with Gabe yet?”
“It wasn’t a date,” I said, rolling my eyes. “My daughter was with us.”
“Does that mean nothing happened between you two?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “’Cause I’m having trouble believing that. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the perma-smile on your face ever since I picked you up.”
“Okay, fine. Something did happen.” I looked around to make sure none of the mothers we often chatted with were within earshot before I whispered, “He kissed me.”
“Shut. Up.” Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Lizzie shifted to face me fully. “Okay, tell me everything. How did it happen? Where was Char?”
“Gabe and I were having a drink in his backyard and Char was playing with the dog. I guess they were both so worn out from the busy day they had, they fell asleep on the grass.”
“And?” she asked, rolling her hand in an impatient gesture. “What happened next? Did he just kiss you? What were you talking about? Did he ask first? Please tell me he didn’t apologize—”
“No. I don’t think he regretted it any more than I did.” In fact, I know he didn’t because he followed that kiss up with another after he carried Char home and helped me tuck her in.
“So does this mean you guys are a couple now?” she asked, looking thrilled.
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I was trying to be cautiously optimistic, but it wasn’t easy to rein in my excitement when I thought about the possibility of more of those decadent kisses that made my head spin. “I think we’re just going to take it slow. I’m sure Gabe hasn’t forgotten that I’m still technically married.”
Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) Page 5