There would be logistics to consider with Char, but I knew we’d find time for moments like this. After tonight, it would be hard to imagine sleeping without Gabe.
My release prompted his and we laid in each other’s arms for the longest time while our heartbeats returned to normal, his lips brushing my hair, my cheek, my ear, as though he couldn’t get enough of me.
When he finally rolled over, he took me with him. “I’m sorry tonight didn’t go exactly as planned. I shouldn’t have left you alone—”
I pressed my fingertip over his lips. “It’s okay. It was good. It gave me time to think. That’s when I decided I didn’t want to give you reason to walk out on me like that again.”
“You didn’t give me reason tonight,” he argued, taking my hand in his, kissing my fingertips in descending order. “I was just being a dumbass.”
I laughed when he kissed my palm, his tongue darting out to tickle my wrist. “I have to figure out how to communicate with you better than I did with Jason.”
His body tensed and I could tell he didn’t appreciate being reminded of my soon-to-be ex-husband. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s okay.” He rested my hand on his flat stomach. “He’s always going to be a part of your life. I know that. But I don’t ever want you to compare what you have with me to what you had with him. If we make mistakes, they’re going to be our own. Got it?”
“Got it.” I kissed him, wondering how I got so lucky to have moved in next door to him. After Jason I’d almost given up on men, but Gabe reminded me that good guys still existed and it was too soon to give up hope.
“I know you have a past,” he said, staring up at the ceiling as his hand ran up and down my arm. “I mean, we all do, right? But I’ve, uh, never been with a woman who’s been married before. You have a connection with Jason that you may never have with me.”
“And that bothers you.” It was obvious it did or he wouldn’t have brought it up, but he was clearly having a hard time putting his thoughts into words. If I knew him, it was because he was over-analyzing, trying to figure how not to offend me. “It’s okay. Just say whatever you’re thinking. Don’t ever feel you have to hold back with me.”
He laughed before sliding a seductive glance my way. “I feel like I’ve been holding back ever since I met you, so that might be a hard habit to break.”
“Meaning?”
“I’ve wanted you since you first moved in next door. I tried fighting it. I told myself it was wrong, that you were my friend’s wife, ex-wife, whatever. I also told myself that you and Jason could get back together. That you were a mom who needed to focus on raising your kid…” He sighed. “I tried everything to talk myself out of it, but nothing worked.”
“I’m glad.”
He smiled before kissing my forehead. “I’m glad too. But I’ve been so guarded with you.” When I frowned, he explained, “It’s not that you don’t know me. You do. Probably better than most people, but when it comes to you and me, what I’m thinking and feeling about us, I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping that to myself.”
“You’re not the only one,” I admitted, skimming his hard abs with my nails. “I knew how you felt about pursuing a married woman. So even though the attraction was mutual, I was afraid to come on too strong. I didn’t want to lose your respect or your friendship.”
“That’s another thing that’s new for me,” he said, appearing thoughtful. “Being friends with a woman first. I’ve never tried that before.”
“It could work to our advantage, don’t you think?” I asked, looking up at him. “You already know so many things about me.”
He chuckled, threading his hand through my hair. “Yeah, I know that you like sappy movies that make you cry. You love rum-raisin ice cream. You always manage to burn microwave popcorn. And you’d love to work in the maternity ward because there’s something about being around newborn babies that makes you feel more alive.”
Our eyes met as he made that last comment and I wondered if he was questioning whether we’d ever share the experience of looking into the eyes of a newborn baby, one we created together. “Speaking of that,” I said, tearing my eyes from his. “I was speaking to one of the seminar facilitators today and he said he’d heard about an opening in the mat ward at the hospital. I’m thinking I’ll apply when we get home. What do you think?”
“I’ve seen you with Nex and Jaci’s baby. You’re a natural.”
“Thanks.” There was something about caring for a newborn that made me want to be a mother all over again. “So, Brody’s next in line to be a daddy, huh?”
“Looks that way.” His hand stilled on my arm and his chest wasn’t rising and falling as it had been. It was like he was holding his breath, waiting to hear what I might say next.
“How do you feel about becoming an uncle again?”
“The truth? I’m a little envious.”
“Oh.”
My heart beat just a little faster as I read between the lines. So Gabe wanted his turn at bat? After watching him with my little girl for the past year and a half, I knew he’d be an amazing dad. He was kind and patient with her, but funny and silly too. The only part he didn’t have down yet was the discipline, but I knew that would come with time, when he understood his place in Char’s life.
His hand skimmed my stomach, his eyes zeroing in on mine. “You ever think about having my baby?”
The air left my lungs in a whoosh as I tried to mask it with a laugh. “Wow, you don’t mince words, do you?”
“Sorry.” He winced, pulling his hand away. “Too much, too soon, huh?”
“No.” I reached for his hand, bringing it back to where it had been. “Not at all. To answer your question, yeah, I have thought about it. When you were playing with Char.” I smiled. “I’d see you two rolling around on the grass with Poncho or you pushing her on the swing at the park and I’d think how amazing it would be if you were her dad.”
I felt almost guilty saying that, since I knew how much she loved Jason and he loved her. But I couldn’t help but feel my life would have been so much different if I’d married someone like Gabe instead of Jason. A man who understood the meaning of loyalty, family, and commitment.
“I know I’ll never be her dad,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “But if I ever get the chance to be her step-dad, I can promise you I’ll love her like she was my own. Hell, who am I kidding? I already love that little girl.”
A tear slipped down my cheek at his admission and he smiled as he wiped it away. “Thank you for saying that. I know she feels the same way about you.” Char wore her heart on her sleeve and when she adored someone, it was obvious.
“She may not feel that way after she finds out about us,” Gabe said, sounding uneasy. “I hate to think of her being mad at me. That would destroy me.”
“Honey, you’re going to have to get used to her being mad at you. I’m afraid it goes with the territory. She’s mad at me almost as much as she’s happy with me, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me.”
“Yeah, but it’s different with you. You’re her mom. She’s always going to love you. She doesn’t have to love, or even like me.”
“Are you worried that Jason will try to turn her against you?” I asked, propping my head in my hand so I could get a better look at his face.
“Don’t pretend it couldn’t happen,” he said, lacing his hand with mine. “We all know how vindictive Jason can be. When he realizes that I’m a part of your life and that I’m not going anywhere, there’s no telling what he might do.”
“I’m not worried. Are you?”
“Hell, no,” he said, pulling me in for a kiss. “I can handle Jason.”
***
The drive home was long, but when we finally pulled in to my parent’s driveway to pick Char up, I felt like I knew Gabe even better than I had before. The past few days with him had been amazing, exactly what we needed to solidify our new relationship. And now that w
e were finally getting ready to come clean with our friends and family, I knew it would be obvious to them how happy we were together.
“You don’t have to come in,” I said, resting my hand on his arm when he reached for his door handle. “This won’t take long.”
“No way am I sitting in the car while your parents question what the hell I’m doing with their daughter. We agreed it was time to fill everyone in, right?”
“Well yeah, but what about Char? We can’t tell my parents in front of her. We should talk to her alone. There’s no telling how she might react.” I was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.
“Relax, I got this.”
I knew I didn’t have to worry. Gabe had an easy way with people; he was the kind of person others naturally gravitated to, and I knew he would never do anything to hurt my daughter. With that knowledge, I took his hand when he opened my car door, and didn’t let go as we let ourselves in to my parents’ house.
“Hello,” I called out, looking around for some sign of the three people I loved most. Except Gabe had somehow managed to join that elite group of people, I realized as I turned to smile at him, hoping to put him at ease.
But he didn’t look the least bit uncomfortable as he returned my smile with a wink as we heard the back door slam and my mother round the corner from the kitchen.
“Oh hi, honey.” She smiled at Gabe. “I thought I heard a car pull up. Your dad is in the shed with Char and I was working in the garden. How are you, Gabe?”
“I’m good, thanks. How are you?”
Her eyes flickered to our joined hands before she said, “I was just going to get us something cold to drink. Kendra, why don’t you head outside to see Char? I know she’s been missing you something fierce. Gabe, you wouldn’t mind helping me with drinks, would you?”
I knew that was my mother’s not-so-subtle way of asking for a little alone time with the new man in my life so she could no doubt drill him about his intentions.
“Of course, it would be my pleasure, Mrs.—”
“Ah-uh,” she said, wagging her finger at Gabe. “I told you the last time. It’s Sara, remember?”
“Right… Sara,” Gabe said, grinning at me when I released his hand.
“I hope Char didn’t give you a hard time,” I said, touching my mother’s arm as I passed her. We’d talked every day on the phone and my mother assured me I had nothing to worry about, but I also knew she wasn’t above saying whatever it took to put my mind at ease.
“She was a perfect angel,” my mother assured me, patting my hand with hers. “How was the seminar?”
“It was great.” I hadn’t told her on the phone that Gabe had surprised me. I thought some news was meant to be imparted in person. Especially when dealing with my traditional parents, who’d always preached about sex within a committed relationship. “I learned a lot.” I glanced at Gabe over my shoulder. “And found time for a little fun too.”
He chuckled at that. “I should hope so.”
My mother raised an eyebrow, looking amused by our interaction. “Okay, you go give your baby girl a big hug and kiss while I have a word with your handsome young man.”
***
Gabe
Few people made me nervous, and I wouldn’t count Kendra’s parents among those people who did, but that didn’t mean their opinion of me wasn’t important. It was. Especially since I hoped to be a part of their daughter’s life for a very long time.
“So, you went with Kendra to the training seminar?” Sara asked, leading me into the kitchen.
“Not exactly. I kind of surprised her.”
“I see.” She pointed to the kitchen table, inviting me to sit down while she set out a pitcher of lemonade and took some glasses from the cupboard, placing them on a colorful plastic tray.
“I’m sure you have some questions about us.”
“I do.” She nodded as she placed a glass in front of me along with some pinwheel pastries that appeared to be jam-filled. “Especially since she seemed pretty upset when she dropped Char off with us. Her dad and I were both worried about her, but we didn’t want to pry. We learned a long time ago that when Kendra’s ready to talk, she will. Until then, we try to respect her privacy.”
Though I’d been young when our mother died, I remembered she had the same philosophy. She always gave us just enough rope and prayed we didn’t hang ourselves. “I’m sure she appreciates that.”
“But we love her so much and we do worry.” Her expression was grave when she sat down next to me. “It’s been a rough couple of years for her and that precious little girl of hers and I’d hate for her to have to go through anymore heartache.”
“And you’re worried that’s what I’m setting her up for?” I asked, appreciating her honesty. “More heartache?”
“Gabe, please don’t take this the wrong way,” she said, tracing patterns on the embroidered placemat before meeting my eyes. “I think you’re a very nice young man. My husband and I both do, in fact…”
“But?” When she didn’t respond, I said, “You’re worried that Kendra may not be ready for another serious relationship?” I couldn’t blame them, since she wasn’t even divorced yet. Had one of my brothers been in her position I would have cautioned them to proceed slowly too.
“I think she has a long and messy road ahead of her with Jason. I know that man. He didn’t appreciate his family when he had them, but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to let them go without a fight.”
“I know Jason too,” I said, taking a sip of my lemonade. “Though I’m sure you know a side of him that I may not.”
“I just think that having you in the picture may complicate things for my daughter.” She sighed. “It pains me to say this because I know how much she cares about you, but I’m just looking out for her best interests.”
“I can appreciate that.” Since I’d had the same concerns, I couldn’t blame her for voicing hers. “But I’m prepared to stand by Kendra. No matter what Jason tries to pull, I’m not going to let him get away with hurting her again.”
She smiled, patting my hand. “That’s sweet of you to say, but some things are beyond our control, aren’t they?”
“What do you mean?”
“I just don’t want to see Kendra get caught up in a long, nasty divorce that drains her, emotionally and financially. Not to mention a custody battle.” She shivered. “The possibility of losing Char would destroy her.”
I knew it was time to lay my cards on the table. “Here’s the deal,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Ever since your daughter moved in next door to me, I’ve been fighting my feelings for her. I knew it was the worst possible time for her to get involved with someone, especially someone who has a personal and professional relationship with Jason, but—”
“You can’t help the way you feel.” She shook her head. “I know, honey. I understand that.”
“It’s not that I haven’t tried to put the brakes on. Believe me, I have. Countless times, but we’re at the point where I can’t imagine my life without her.” Being truthful with Kendra’s mom was hard, but I knew it was necessary to put her mind at ease. “So even though the last thing I want is to make her life harder, and in fact, I’d do anything in my power to make it easier, I can’t walk away from her again. I’d never forgive myself. And more importantly, she’d never forgive me.”
“It’s a mother’s job to worry,” she said slowly. “That doesn’t stop when you’re children are grown. I hope you don’t think I was out of line for bringing this up.”
“Of course not. I understand completely.” I leaned forward, curling my hand around her shoulder. “I can’t promise you that Jason will be reasonable or that he’ll make this easy for her, simply because that’s the right thing to do. But what I can tell you is that I’ll do whatever I can to protect her. No matter what, I won’t let him hurt her again, Sara.”
She stood, leaning in to pat my cheek. “Thank you, Gabe. Hearing you say that does make me fee
l better.”
***
Char was quiet on the short drive back from her grandparents’ house, but I assumed that’s because she was tired. So I was surprised when she showed up on my doorstep less than an hour after I dropped them off at home.
“Mommy said she didn’t think you’d mind if I came over to see Poncho,” she said, lacing her hands behind her back as she looked up at me, wide-eyed. “I missed him.”
“Of course, I don’t mind,” I said, stepping back. “Come on in.” I gestured to the pup, who was sprawled out in front of the stone fireplace. “But he’s pretty tired. Looks like your friends wore him out while we were gone.”
She sat down on the rug, patting the dog. “Why’d you go with Mommy?”
I knew this question would come up, but without Kendra here to help me field it, I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Uh, I got a few days off from work. I thought a change of scenery would do me good.” It had, seeing Kendra’s beautiful face every day had done wonders for my mood.
Char looked up at me, her eyes narrowed. “You went ’cause you wanted to be with my mommy, right?”
I swallowed, feeling suddenly nervous. It took a lot to get me rattled, and I never expected a pint-sized cutie with blond ringlets to be up to the task. “Um, yeah. I guess you could say that.” I promised myself I’d never lie to Kendra or her daughter, so while I didn’t welcome an inquisition without Kendra by my side to help me avoid the landmines, I wasn’t going to dodge Char’s direct questions. She deserved one man in her life she could trust to be honest with her, and if Jason couldn’t be that man, I could.
“You like her.”
It wasn’t a question, but I treated it as one. “I do. A lot. I like you too, sweetie. I hope you know that.”
“But the way you like mommy is different.”
God help me. “Yes, it is.”
“You don’t like her like a friend.”
“She is my friend,” I said, trying to be cautious. “But she’s more than that, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Gabe (Steele Brothers #6) Page 14