Her eyes widened. “Stop putting words into my mouth. A lot happened yesterday, and I turned to you because I trust you…and I care about you.”
“And I care about you. Dammit, Kira. Do you think I can just turn off feelings after all these years.”
“Right now, we’re both too vulnerable to jump back into this.” Kira knew she had to protect herself. “I think we should back up a little while.”
“You mean for six months, until you get a baby.”
She tried not to flinch. “I want to use the six months to see how we get along.”
“And then you walk away.”
She sighed. “No, so we can both rebuild our lives. I thought you agreed to this?”
“I agreed to meeting with the counselor. We’re well past that.”
“Okay, here’s your chance. Tomorrow, we’re possibly going to meet a birth mother who may choose us.” She took a breath and released it. “That’s hard to comprehend.”
He remained silent and let her talk.
“I know it’s happening quickly, Trace, but we need to make a decision.” She set down her mug and looked at him. “I know you were blindsided yesterday when you learned about my baby, but it’s something I can’t change. So now, we have to decide if we move ahead.”
He could hear the trembling in her voice. He wasn’t too steady, either. He’d made a lot of mistakes in the past.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Kira.” He wished he could have been there for her. “And I know how much adopting a baby means to you.”
Kira tried not to get too excited over Trace’s words. “So you want to go along with it for…six months? To see how things work out.”
She watched his eyes flare. “Your idea isn’t foolproof, Kira. What happens if we don’t get picked tomorrow?”
She’d be heartbroken. “I have to stay positive. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, either.”
“Trapped into what? We agreed to adopt a long time ago.”
“We need to act as if we have a real marriage for the full time, Trace.” She blinked back tears. “I don’t want a man who walks out if things get tough.”
“Isn’t that what you’re going to do, eventually?”
She ignored his sarcasm. “So are you moving back home?”
He paused. “I can’t just jump back into it as if we never had problems.”
“I know. That’s why I’ll be moving into the guest room.”
“Like hell!”
She suddenly got hopeful.
“I’ll sleep there.”
She worked hard to hide her hurt. “If it’s what you want?”
“Hell, no, it’s not what I want.” He shot up and marched to the window. “This isn’t easy for me, Kira. And last night with you didn’t help. I hate to fail. But if we’re lucky enough to get a baby and that’s no sure thing,” he warned before shrugging. “Who knows, we might just get along.”
Barely containing her excitement, Kira boldly walked over to Trace, raised herself up on her bare toes and brushed her mouth across his. Hearing his groan, she deepened the kiss and he quickly joined in. By the time she pulled back she could see the desire in his eyes. “That was to officially welcome you home.” She turned and strolled off. Her husband needed something to think about on those lonely nights in the guest room.
A few hours later, heading into town, Trace was still wondering if he’d done the right thing by moving back into the house. Kira had gone to see Jody, and he needed to talk to his brother.
Since it was Sunday, Jarrett was at home. Trace drove to the custom-built home on the land that his brother had kept when he sold him the half of the ranch their parents had left him.
The two-story, modern structure sat on a hill with rolling green lawn in front, and the back overlooked a picturesque view of the mountain range. Trees lined most of the property, adding privacy to the large deck and hot tub.
Trace made his way along the blue stone walk and rang the bell. His brother quickly answered, dressed in jeans and a blue collared shirt.
“Hey, Trace, you made it. Come in.”
“I said I’d be here.” Trace stepped into the slate tiled entry, then into a huge great room with a stone fireplace that took up most of one wall. Oversize brown leather furniture made up a cozy seating area around the hearth. He followed his brother across the hardwood floors to the dining room, off a kitchen with black cabinets and marble countertops.
“Nice place.”
Jarrett frowned. “You haven’t been here before?”
“No. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.”
His brother ignored the comment. “You and Kira are always welcome anytime.”
“I’ll pass that along to my wife.” He didn’t care if he was added to Jarrett’s social list or not. “Okay. So what do you want to talk to me about?”
“I have everything laid out here.”
Trace turned and looked at the table. “What are you talking about?”
“The property deal.”
He had contracts drawn up? “I never said I would sell, just that I’d talk to you.”
Jarrett studied him. “Come on, bro, you know you can’t come up with the payment.”
Was his brother just waiting for him to fail? “You know nothing, bro. I have the money.”
His brother motioned for Trace to take a seat, then he sat across from him. “We both know that the adoption costs could run to a sizable amount.”
Trace didn’t want to talk to Jarrett about this. “I’ll take care of it.”
“What if you can’t? You could lose the ranch and the baby.”
And Kira, he thought. “Okay, what’s your plan?”
“Simple.” Jarrett slid a paper across the table. “I want to buy back the section of the land that borders my property.”
Trace didn’t believe this was out of the kindness of his brother’s heart. “We talked about this before, Jarrett. I don’t want that land developed with homes.”
“And I won’t, not for ten years.”
That made Trace suspicious, too. His brother didn’t do anything that didn’t benefit himself. Yet, did Trace have any other options? The past few years, they’d had a lot of expensive medical procedures for Kira, costs that the insurance hadn’t covered, combined with two lean years of cattle profits. The money he’d held back for emergencies was nearly gone.
He glanced down at the property agreement. The balloon payment was due the end of June. Three weeks. He looked at his brother. Something told him not to trust him. There had been too many times his older brother had used him.
“Can you give me a week to think about it?” Trace asked.
Jarrett hesitated, then nodded. “That’s about all I can give you.”
Why was that important if his brother wasn’t going to do anything with the land? He needed to think about this.
Jarrett nodded. “Also, I wanted to give you this card for Kira.”
Trace took it. “Dr. Thomas Faulkner, Fertility Specialist.”
“We knew each other in college and kept in touch. I told Kira about him.”
Why the hell was Jarrett discussing anything with his wife?
“I thought she’d mention it to you.”
Trace thought they’d exhausted every avenue on fertility. Besides, they were ending their marriage. He suddenly thought about the parting kiss she’d given him earlier. Between last night and this morning, it didn’t feel like things were ending to him. “Did she say she wanted to get in touch with this doctor?”
Jarrett shrugged. “I don’t think you should give up, Trace. That’s another reason you should sell me back the land.”
Trace didn’t want to listen anymore. “I need to go. I’m meeting Kira for lunch,” he lied.
Jarrett watched Trace. “Okay, but think it over…this is a good deal for you.”
Trace knew from experience that wasn’t true. His brother was up to something, and he was going to find out what it was.
Two hours later, Kira tried to hold on to the afterglow as she drove into town. Not just from Trace making love to her last night, but because he was moving back into the house, and agreed to the adoption. Okay, it was only to the guest room, and he wouldn’t be around to be a daddy to her baby, but it was a start. A big one. Although he seemed angry about her dismissing their love making, at least they were talking again.
Kira sobered as she turned down Elm Street toward Jody’s house. It wasn’t the best neighborhood, bringing back memories of her own childhood. When she was a little girl, she remembered her parents had lived paycheck to paycheck, so when they’d died, there wasn’t any extra money to help raise their only child. Just the little that her grandmother got, but the ailing woman decided not to take her granddaughter in.
Kira pushed away the bad memories and parked at the curb of the small rental house. The lawn needed to be mowed, and the house could use a fresh coat of paint. It amazed her that Jody could deal with all this and still make the grades in school. Kira was going to do everything she could to help her now.
She climbed out and went up the walk. Soon, the door opened and Jody greeted her. The teenager looked tired and worried.
“Hi, Mrs. McKane.”
“Hello, Jody.” She hugged the girl. “How are you feeling today?”
“Better now that you’re here.” Jody nodded toward the door. “My mom just got up. It’s her day off so she sleeps in.”
Kira knew she was making excuses for Marge Campbell. She’d bet that it was Jody who took care of things around the house, along with going to school and working a part-time job.
“We’re going to deal with this together, Jody.”
Tears flooded Jody’s eyes.
Kira hugged her again.
“Jody, who are you talking to?” Mrs. Campbell came to the door. “Oh, Mrs. McKane. What brings you here today?” Dressed in an old chenille robe, the forty-plus woman pushed back her wild, bleached-blond hair. Years of hard living showed in her lined face.
“Hello, Mrs. Campbell. Sorry to bother you, but Jody and I want to talk with you.”
Marge Campbell glanced back and forth between the two, then slowly opened the squeaky screen door. Inside, the living room was furnished with a faded print sofa and two mismatched chairs. Although the ashtrays had been emptied the place still reeked of cigarette smoke.
Jody directed her to the sofa. Once they were all seated, Kira exchanged a glance with Jody.
“If this is about Jody going away to college,” the mother began, “it just isn’t possible. I need my daughter here to help out.”
“No, Mom. It’s not about college. I’m pregnant,” the girl blurted out.
“What?” Marge gasped. “You promised you wouldn’t do anything. That you’d stay away from those boys.” She jumped up from her seat. “Now, what are we going to do raising some kid’s brat? I warned you this would happen.” She wheeled around on her daughter. “Who did this to you?”
Kira stood. “Mrs. Campbell, please can’t we sit down and talk calmly about what to do?”
“She’s going to get rid of it that’s what she’s going to do. I’m not going to be saddled with another kid. I’ve been through that once. Never again.”
Kira could see the hurt on Jody’s face. “Your daughter isn’t saddling you with anything. This is her decision to make. She can get financial help if she decides to keep the child.”
“Well, she’s not bringing the baby here. So she can just get out right now.”
After his visit to Jarrett’s place, Trace returned to the ranch, packed up his things from the bunkhouse and carried them up to the house.
Things were far from perfect, but he would deal with it. He only had to stay out of his wife’s bed. Sure. He couldn’t even stop himself remembering how willing she’d been in his arms last night. In the dark they didn’t need words, just their bodies to express their need for one another. He’d never shared that level of intimacy with anyone but Kira. How could he live without her now?
That was the reason he was going to use this time to try to make things work. He might go crazy wanting his wife, but he had to think beyond his own needs; there could be a baby added to the mix. Maybe if he’d worked harder, instead of moving out, he’d have a wife, a lover. He couldn’t leave her now, especially with the possibility of a baby. Not without a fight, anyway.
He’d finished putting his shaving kit in the bathroom when he heard the back door open. She was home. Good. Cal could handle the chores today, and he could spend the day with his wife. Just maybe he could convince her to change some of the rules. He hurried down the steps and went into the kitchen to greet her. He quickly stopped when he saw she wasn’t alone, Jody Campbell was with her.
Kira saw him. “Oh, hi, Trace.”
“Kira. Hi, Jody.”
She shyly looked away. “Hello, Mr. McKane.”
He turned back to a nervous Kira.
“Jody is going to be staying with us for a few days. Her mother was upset about the…news. So I brought her home to discuss options.”
So they weren’t going to be alone. Hiding his disappointment, he turned to his houseguest. “Welcome, Jody. You stay as long as you need.”
“Thank you, Mr. McKane.”
Kira turned to their guest. “Why don’t you go upstairs and rest? The guest room is the door just past the nursery. We’ll bring your suitcase up later.”
The girl nodded and left the kitchen. Once alone, Kira released a breath and turned to her husband. “I guess I should have called, but Jody was literally out on the street.” She frowned. “You sure you don’t mind her staying here?”
He shook his head. “A few days won’t be bad.”
Kira grimaced, hoping Trace would understand. “It might be longer. Her mother didn’t take the news of the baby well. I want to make sure Jody has some kind of support.”
“What about the baby’s father? Shouldn’t he be here for her?”
“Jody said she tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe he’ll listen to me,” Trace said. “He’s got to take responsibility.”
“Ben leaves for the Army in a few weeks. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s a kid, and Jody will be eighteen next month.” She shook her head. “Neither one of them are ready for this. I’m sorry, but when her mother threw her out, I just couldn’t let Jody go through this alone.”
He stepped closer, taking her hand. “She’s lucky to have you, Kira. I just had some plans for us today. I thought we could go riding.”
“You wanted to take me riding?”
“You sound surprised. I thought we should practice getting along—since Mrs. Fletcher will be watching us.”
Kira was thrilled Trace wanted to spend time with her. It had been so long since they’d done anything carefree. “Could I get a rain check?”
He nodded. “Seems we have another problem. I just moved my things into the guestroom.” He raised an eyebrow. “Have any idea where I put them now?”
When Kira woke the next morning, smiling, she stretched her arms out. She reached across the big bed but Trace wasn’t there. Not that she should expect him to be. Although he’d come to their room to give the appearance all was normal, after Jody retired for the night, he had gone to the bunkhouse. Since Trace was up before the sun, their houseguest wouldn’t even suspect he wasn’t sleeping next to his wife.
That hadn’t stopped Kira from missing him. She better get used to it, though, because his absence was going to be a permanent feature soon enough. Trace was only playing the part of attentive husband.
Kira got up and headed for the shower to help her focus on her day. This afternoon Mrs. Fletcher was coming with a special visitor. And it could mean they’d have a baby by summer’s end. Kira tried to hold in her excitement, but couldn’t as she began singing in the shower.
Thirty minutes later, she went downstairs and found Jody doing the dishes.
“Good morning, Jody,” she
greeted her. “I hope you slept okay.”
“Good morning, Mrs. McKane. I slept fine. The bedroom you let me use is so pretty.”
“It is pretty, isn’t it?” Kira smiled and went to the coffeepot and poured a cup. “I especially love the old iron bed. I found it in the attic.” She sipped from her mug. “I’m sure glad that my husband’s family didn’t throw anything out.”
“Your house is beautiful. I hope you don’t mind, I dusted the living room. I can fix you breakfast if you want.”
“Jody, I didn’t bring you here expecting you to work.”
“I just want to help out.”
“I know you do,” Kira said. “But I think it’s more important that you see a doctor. Have you been to one?”
“I went to the clinic on Main Street just to confirm my pregnancy.”
“How far along are you?”
“Fourteen weeks.”
Kira sat down at the table and motioned Jody to do the same. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”
Jody shook her head. “Only that I can’t end this pregnancy.”
“What I told you, Jody, about me giving my baby up. It was the right decision for me, and the best for my baby. That doesn’t mean it’s what’s right for you.”
“I know that.” Jody’s gaze met hers. “I’m never going to tell anyone about what you told me.”
“It’s okay, Jody,” Kira assured her. “I’m not ashamed of what I did. My baby was given a life I never could have offered. Two parents for one thing.”
The girl looked thoughtful. “I don’t know what I want to do.”
“Well, we’ll go to the doctor first. I’ll set up an appointment for tomorrow. What time are you working today?”
Jody gasped. “I have the dinner shift.”
There was no way Kira was going to miss Mrs. Fletcher. “I have an appointment here this afternoon, so you can take my car.”
“I can’t drive your car.”
“Why not? You have a driver’s license don’t you? I trust you.”
Tears filled the girl’s eyes. “You’ve been so nice to me. I don’t know what I’d do…if you hadn’t took me in.”
Kira hated to see the girl’s lack of confidence, but she understood it. “You’re easy to be nice to, Jody. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. And I’m going to stand by you for as long as you need me.”
The Cowboy’s Baby Page 9