“No, on the contrary, I know exactly what I want.” The smile she gave him was filled with tenderness and an underlying sadness. “All my adult life, I’ve known I’d eventually have to do my part to pay my grandmother’s debt. She knew it too. That’s why I never got involved in any serious relationship. I didn’t seem fair when I knew I was facing a potential death sentence.”
The thought of some other male having the right to touch Jessica, hold her, love her, made him crazy. But was she saying she’d never been with a man? He swallowed heavily and his cock twitched. “Are you saying?” he began and broke off, not quite sure how to ask. “Are you saying,” he started again, “that you’ve never had sex?”
She smiled then, so brightly it made his heart ache. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.”
Mordecai wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or relieved. On one hand, he couldn’t bear the thought that she’d been alone all these years without someone to look out for her. On the other hand, he didn’t like the idea of any man touching her. His hands were fisted, and he made himself relax his fingers. No, he didn’t like that idea at all.
“I’ve been in relationships,” she continued. “But I always knew going in they were short term. And once I moved here to New Orleans, I didn’t bother with anything other than a casual date.” She touched her chest over her heart. “I always knew that my family’s debt would be paid here, in this place.”
“A debt. Is that all it is?” He didn’t like hearing her talk about her returning his serpent half, his soul, as nothing more than a debt.
“In the beginning, that’s all it was. Then I met Sabrina, and it became about keeping my friend safe.
He tried not to let her words hurt him. It amazed him that a puny human had the power to make his chest ache and his soul cry out in pain.
She licked her lips, and he tried not to notice how lush and pink they were. It was impossible. Everything about Jessica called to him.
“Then I saw you.” She shook her head. “I don’t know. It was as though I’d known you in another lifetime.” Her blue eyes grew soft as she gazed at him. “Then it became as much about saving you.”
“You can’t save me,” he blurted. “No one can.”
He tried to move away, but she wrapped her uninjured hand around one of his wrists, chaining him to the bed with her gentle touch. “Why would you say such a thing?”
Anger bubbled up from the well of darkness that dwelled deep within him. “Why?” He leaned down until their noses were almost touching. “Because I am tainted. After so many years residing in Hell, I am filled with the stench of Hades’ realm. It changed me.”
She stroked her hand up his arm. Shockingly, he began to tremble beneath her touch. “The core of you is unchanged, Mordecai. You are a man of honor and courage. A man who did what was necessary to protect his friends and his goddess.”
Mordecai shook his head. He could not allow her to believe such lies. “No, I knew I couldn’t defeat Hades in battle and I wasn’t ready to die.” There, he’d laid his greatest shame out in front of her. “I was a coward.” There was such self-loathing in his words and he deserved every ounce of mistrust and anger his fellow warriors felt toward him. He didn’t deserve their trust. He had betrayed it. “I wasn’t even certain until the last minute I was going to try to save Roric and the others. I was tired of fighting the darkness after so many years.”
He shook his head and sat back, feeling bereft when her hand fell away from him. “It was easier with Stavros and Phoenix. It was early days then and I still had hope.” He’d been so fired with noble thoughts of saving them all. Arrogance was his curse. “But it was long years after that before Roric was released. I was teetering on the edge by then.”
And Hades’ lies were seductive. The offer of power and freedom had begun to look good after so many years of being alone. But that was no excuse.
Jessica sat up in bed and smacked his arm. The slight sting brought his attention back to her. “How dare you say such a thing?”
He rubbed his arm, trying to absorb her touch even if it was an angry one. “It’s the truth, Jessica.” He would not lie to her or to himself.
“It doesn’t matter.” She crossed her arms and he tried not to notice the way it pushed her breasts up against the thin material of her nightgown. He almost lost his mind when he saw the outline of her dark nipples against the pale lilac material. His pants grew uncomfortably tight. She was killing him and his good intentions.
“In the end, you did what was right. No one can blame you for having doubts.”
“Roric wouldn’t have had them.” And that’s what was killing him. Mordecai had always felt he should have been the leader of the immortal warriors of the Lady, not Roric. But, in the end, he wasn’t worthy of the title. He was too distrustful, too dark in nature. Roric was a much better man.
“That’s a load of crap,” Jessica retorted. He was so surprised at her vehemence all he could do was stare at her. “Anyone locked in Hell for decades would have had doubts. It would be impossible not too. The devil is seductive, offering what you most want.”
He let his head drop forward, unwilling to look at her any longer. Her faith in him was astounding. “Jessica,” he began, not quite sure what he wanted to say. She deserved so much better than being marked for death by Hades. She was human, yet she hadn’t hesitated to throw herself into the middle of their war with the god to save Mordecai and her friend.
“No. Don’t say anything more. I’m tired of talking.” She caught his face between her palms and raised his head until he was forced to look at her. “You’re a good man, Mordecai. And I’m proud to call you my friend.”
Something inside him shattered and the light of her belief filled him. At that moment, he could almost believe he was the man she thought he was—honorable, loyal, worthy. He’d give anything, well, almost anything—no sense in tempting Hades to make a return and offer a new deal—to be that man.
She brushed her fingers lightly over his jaw. Her touch ignited a firestorm inside him. The serpent roared and breathed fire. He would kill Hades if anything happened to Jessica, even if he had to descend to the very bowels of Hell once again in order to find him. The god was as good as dead the moment Jessica took her last breath.
The thought of that moment was like a sword thrust to his heart. He didn’t know if he could bear it. She was the only person who’d ever looked at him as though he was something special, something more than a traitor or an immortal warrior. Jessica treated him like he was a man and a friend.
“We both know I might not make it.”
“No.” He wouldn’t believe that.
“Mordecai, if I’m going to die, I don’t want to do so without ever knowing what it’s like to come apart in your arms. Don’t deny me. Please.”
Fury and passion rolled together inside him like thunderclouds. Once he unleashed the storm of his passion, there would be no going back. “Be certain, Jessica.” His willpower was all but lost beneath her plea. How could he deny her anything?
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” She pulled him closer. “Kiss me.”
Mordecai knew he was lost.
Chapter Five
Jessica didn’t know what she’d do if Mordecai walked away from her. She knew she was dying. Her body was getting weaker with each passing hour. At least the pain in her arm was manageable. It was as though the mark was somehow draining the very life from her body.
She didn’t know what to do to fight Hades’ curse. While she was skilled in many ways, she was in no way equipped to deal with something this nasty and powerful. The incense, healing stones and wards she’d set around her apartment helped, but they wouldn’t defeat this plague Hades had sent to her. She could only trust her friends would come up with a way out. But she wasn’t hopeful. In war, there were casualties. The rest of them had gotten
away, if not unscathed than at least alive. She was collateral damage.
Ever since she was young, she’d known she wouldn’t grow old. It was a knowing she’d felt deep in her heart and soul. Truthfully, she hadn’t expected to survive the battle with Hades, so she’d gotten a reprieve of sorts. Just when she’d relaxed and started to believe maybe everything would be okay, Hades had struck.
There would be no happy ending for her.
But Mordecai could make her passing easier by giving her what she wanted. She hated how he saw himself. No one was harder on him than he was. The other warriors were slowly getting past what he’d done, even beginning to understanding it. But he wasn’t ready to take the overtures of peace they offered. He didn’t even see them, he was so caught up in his guilt.
Right now, she wasn’t certain if he was going to walk away from her or give in to the passion that simmered whenever they were in the same room together. She’d tried being just friends, but she wanted much more than that.
She pulled him closer. “Kiss me.”
She felt the tension running through his big body, the slight resistance as she eased him closer. Then he groaned and touched his mouth to hers. His lips were soft and warm. It was all she could do to keep from giving a cheer and a fist pump of victory. She had him now and wasn’t letting him go.
Maybe it wasn’t fair to him. After all, she was dying and he was immortal. But they both needed the healing that making love would bring them. Mordecai needed to understand his worth, that he’d done his best and done the right thing in the end. She needed to feel the heat of passion rushing through her veins, to understand what had been missing in her previous relationships.
She loved Mordecai. It had happened so suddenly and so completely that she’d worried about it at first. Was it a trick of Hades? A way of torturing her? Maybe it was, but it was also a gift. Sharing her body, her love with Mordecai was a way of healing them both from old wounds.
Mordecai moved his lips over hers, traced his tongue between them before dipping inside to taste. She tugged on him, wanting him on top so she could feel his weight blanketing her.
He was too strong for her to move. His muscular arms were braced on either side of her, veins prominent, muscles taut with the effort it was taking him to keep his distance.
He touched his tongue to hers, stroking it, twining with it. He tasted hot and male with a tinge of coffee. Of all the immortal males, he was the only one who’d developed an appreciation for that particular beverage. Not surprising since he’d had years to cultivate a taste for it when he’d been traveling the human realm on Hades’ business.
She cupped the back of his head, not wanting him to ever stop. Her toes curled and her skin tingled. In spite of the mark draining her, she felt a surge of energy within her. Was there anything more life-affirming than making love with the man she loved? She knew the effects were only temporary, but that was okay. She’d take whatever she could get and be grateful for it.
“Jessica.” He pulled away from her, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he sucked air into his lungs. She was no better. Totally breathless, all she could do was stare up at him in wonder. His kisses were better than most men’s lovemaking.
He shook his head, not saying anything more than her name. But there was so much emotion in that one word. She heard all his doubts as well as a tinge of hope.
She stroked a hand across his chest. “Take off your shirt.”
He shuddered and then grabbed two handfuls of material, yanked the garment from his body and tossed it aside. Jessica licked her lips when his bare skin was exposed. His chest was broad and muscular with just a sprinkling of dark hair in the center that dissipated as it traveled down his abs of steel. Just looking at him made her pussy wet.
She reached for him, but he caught her hands in one of his and shook his head. “No, you relax and let me take care of everything.” He tenderly pushed her hands over her head.
He stared at her until she nodded her compliance. Then he smiled. It was filled with such masculine satisfaction it made her entire body clench with anticipation.
Mordecai trailed his fingers down the front of her nightgown. She sucked in her breath when he stroked between her breasts. Her nipples tightened to the point of discomfort. She needed him to touch her.
He sat up on the side of the bed, unlaced his boots and discarded them and his socks. Next, he stood and his hands went to the button of his jeans. There was no mistaking the bulge in the front of his pants. He was very aroused.
He unzipped the jeans and his cock fell forward. He wasn’t wearing any underwear. Her entire body heated. She felt feverish and wasn’t sure if it was coming from the death mark or from her growing need for Mordecai.
He shoved the jeans down his thick thighs and kicked them away, leaving him totally naked. He took her breath away. He was hard everywhere. The muscles of his legs and arms rippled as he tensed. Dark curly hair surrounded his groin. His cock stood at attention, hard and ready.
She moaned and her legs moved restlessly against the sheets. She was on fire for him. “Mordecai.” She was practically panting. The scent of her growing arousal permeated the air, and she knew he could smell her need.
“You are fucking perfect,” he told her. He knelt on the bed next to her. Heat poured from his big, fit body. He slipped his fingers beneath the straps on her shoulders. Then he frowned. “You’re feverish.”
“For you,” she told him. Maybe it was partly a lie, but not totally. He was responsible for an enormous amount of the heat coursing through her veins.
He looked concerned, and she was afraid he was going to stop. Then a second later, she felt the coolness of a sharp talon against her skin and realized he’d partially shifted his hands. The fabric at her shoulders dropped away and his hands were normal again when he tugged her nightgown down to expose her breasts.
His gaze practically scorched her skin. Her nipples puckered even more beneath his perusal.
He reached out and touched one perky nub, rubbing it lightly. Jessica moaned and arched her hips. She’d never wanted a man the way she wanted Mordecai. “Yes,” she hissed.
Mordecai growled and tugged the nightgown lower. “Lift your hips.” She did as he asked and he whisked the ripped gown away, leaving her naked. He shifted position, kneeling between her spread thighs. “Tell me if I hurt you.”
She shook her head. “You won’t.” Of that, she was certain. He might look big and scary, might be a total badass, but she knew he would never harm her.
“Promise me.”
Afraid he might stop if she didn’t, she nodded. “I promise.”
Mordecai now knew if such a place did exist that this must be what Heaven was like. Having Jessica naked in front of him, but even more than that, having her trust was intoxicating. Not even Hades with all his power and promises could give him this. Only Jessica could. He didn’t feel worthy of her trust, but he would do everything within him to earn it.
Her arms were still lying over her head, her elbows slightly bent. The position thrust her breasts upward. They weren’t too big or too small. They were firm and full and perfect for her. She was so delicate, so fine. Her skin paler than cream.
The mark on her arm caught his attention. It worried him even though she didn’t seem to be in any pain at the moment. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her breasts toward him.
He had to taste her. He leaned over her and dragged his tongue over one of her tempting nipples. She rewarded him with a gasp of delight. Parting his lips, he sucked the tip into his mouth, savoring the sweet bud.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him to her. Liquid seeped from the head of his cock, a reminder that he was close to the edge. He pressed his erection against her smooth stomach as he continued to suck and tease her. After he’d enjoyed one breast for a while, he switched to the other one.
Jessica made little inarticulate sounds of pleasure. She massaged his scalp before her nails gently grazed it. He growled, wanting more of her touch. A thousand years wouldn’t be enough time for him to sate himself with her warmth. He wanted to bathe in her sweet scent, lick every inch of her body, hear her moans of passion, feel the bite of her nails scoring his skin and watch her as she came.
But time was something they had little of. The clock was running out for them.
Mordecai dragged his tongue over her nipple one final time before pulling back. He sat between her thighs, missing the feel of her fingers tangled in his hair. Her eyes were partially shut, her lips parted, her nostrils flared. The pulse in her neck was beating a rapid rhythm.
He lifted her legs over his forearms and pulled her up to meet his descending mouth. The smell of her arousal had his balls drawing up tight. Her pussy was swollen and pink and wet with arousal. He lapped from her opening to her clit. She cried out and dug her fingers into the sheet beneath her.
“I’m going to eat you until you come,” he promised. Her eyes widened with surprise, and then she moaned in anticipation.
Mordecai rubbed his face against her smooth inner thigh, savoring every moment. Each one was special and he committed them all to his memory. Keeping one eye on her face, he slowly inserted a finger into her tight channel. It gripped him hard. His cock almost exploded. It would be a tight fit for him and it would feel so damn good.
But that wasn’t going to happen until she found her release.
Her clit was swollen, the taut little bud peeking out from its protective hood. He couldn’t resist the lure and leaned forward and stroked the nub with the flat of his tongue. Jessica moaned his name. He’d never heard anything so fine.
He wanted to hear it again so he captured her clit between his lips and sucked. She cried out, her hips rising to his touch. He released her and licked his lips. “Say my name,” he ordered.
“Mordecai.” Her voice was thick with arousal. Mordecai shuddered as his cock jerked, wanting inside her sweet pussy.
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