The men, while always respectful, were men. They were gruff and abrupt. They got sweaty and stomped around. They joked with one another but not with her. She was not only a member of the Kinsinger family, but she was also a woman. Those two factors were always going to keep an imaginary barrier between her and the rest of the workers.
When Rebecca had first started at the reception desk, she’d been a little hurt by the men’s distance. Luckily, she’d grown accustomed to it over the past three years.
She’d tried to find satisfaction in helping her family. And she had. She also got along with most of Lukas’s and Levi’s friends. They might not ask her to eat lunch with them, but they were friendly enough.
Even so, she was more than a little tired of being in the company of men all day. She was growing weary of every conversation being about lumber and trucks and deliveries and shipments.
Though she appreciated how hard the men in the company worked—and understood their concerns—she was starting to realize that in her heart, she didn’t care all that much about what they wanted. The fact was, Rebecca did not want to work at the lumber mill six days a week. She wanted this to be her brothers’ place of work. Not hers.
She needed to do something else. She needed it as much as Scott needed his questions answered from Griffin Mill.
When she opened her eyes, she was startled to see Lukas leaning up against the doorframe of his office. His arms were folded over his chest and he was looking at her so intently she thought he was attempting to read her mind.
“How long have you been standing there?” she asked.
Her brother cocked his head to one side. “Long enough to see that you have a to-do list a mile long.”
“Jah. That about sums it up.” She rolled her eyes. “I swear, half of these men don’t need a receptionist, they need a mother. They’re helpless, Luke.”
Though he didn’t crack a smile, his gaze warmed. “Nee, they simply know who to look to for help. You are a capable woman. I promise, they wouldn’t flock around you if they didn’t believe you could get things done.”
“That’s good to know.” At the moment, though, she wished she was just a little less competent. Maybe then more people would attempt to solve their own problems instead of asking her to fix them.
Walking toward her, new concern lit his expression. “Hey, what’s going on? You usually don’t let any of this get to you. I’ve seen you handle dozens of moments like the one I just witnessed. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine.” And it was. Well, as fine as it could be. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little grumpy. I’ll get over it.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me. I know these men and this job can be a handful. I remember Daed made me take over your chair a few months after I started here. He told me I needed to remember how important each person’s role in the company was.”
She chuckled. “I had forgotten all about that. You hated sitting in this chair.”
“Jah. I really hated it. I wasn’t good at it, either.” Rubbing the back of his neck, he said, “I think half the men marched into Daed’s office and threatened to quit if he didn’t get me out of there.”
Rebecca knew he was trying to make her feel better, she really did. But so far all his story was doing was making her wish that she’d gotten to move on, too. “Like I said, I’m fine. I won’t feel so overwhelmed once I get some things on my to-do list taken care of.”
Lukas didn’t look as if he believed her. “You know what, we’ve been blessed with a lot of work. But because of that, there are lots of minor emergencies. It’s stressful. Maybe you need some help.”
The last thing in the world she wanted to do was make Lukas more stressed about the mill than he already was. She had no right to complain when he was running a whole business single-handedly. “No worries, I feel much better now. I, um, just needed to vent.”
But instead of looking relieved, he sat down in the chair across from her. “Becky, be honest. What’s going on?” After a pause, he looked at her worriedly. “Hey, none of the men are being disrespectful, are they? If someone is treating you poorly, I’ll put a stop to that.”
“No one is being disrespectful.” She quickly shook her head.
“Sure?”
“Positive.”
“Okay, then what can we do to make you happier? How about we hire you an assistant? Like I said, the business has been growing. I’ve hired more managers but not more office assistants.”
She loved how Lukas always talked to her as an equal. He valued her abilities to handle things. Because of that, she shrugged. “An assistant might help. I don’t know, Luke. Maybe all these changes have finally gotten the best of me.”
“If so, we need to ease your load.”
She thought about that. “You’re right, there is a lot of work to be done, but I don’t mind all that much. It’s just—” She stopped herself before complaining more. She wasn’t a whiner, she never had been. She had always prided herself on simply putting her head down and working harder when things got tough.
“Come on, Becky. Talk to me. I’m not your boss, I’m your brother.”
“All right.” Unable to stay sitting behind that desk piled high with work, she got up and walked around, leaning against the front of it.
Then, without the desk between herself and her brother, she bared her soul. “It’s like this. I think everything has just finally gotten to me. Daed dying, then dealing with the aftermath of the fire. Then you and Darla getting married and Levi leaving. . . . It’s kind of a lot to take in.”
“It has been a lot. Too much.”
“I’ll handle it, though.”
He looked troubled. “I didn’t think you minded that me and Darla got married right away.”
“I didn’t and I don’t. You two are perfect for each other, and you always have been,” she said in a rush. “I promise, I’m happy for you. I love Darla. But it’s simply another change in an already eventful two years. It’s exhausting, trying to keep up.”
“It would have been better if Levi hadn’t taken off.” With a pained expression, he added, “I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to reassure Darla that his leaving was not her fault.”
Rebecca thought about that. Although Lukas had worried that it was his marriage to Darla that had made Levi so upset, she didn’t think that was the reason Levi had left.
She was starting to think that Levi’s excuse had been completely honest. All the changes had simply gotten the best of him, too. But instead of staying and working things out, he had opted to take some time for himself.
Though she hated the extra work caused by his leaving, she couldn’t say she blamed him. She wanted some time for herself, too.
“Levi leaving was not Darla’s fault. I think he would be mighty upset if he knew she thought that.”
“He’s not going to know, though, because he hasn’t kept in touch,” Lukas said bitterly. “I can’t believe he just took off with nothing more than a brief note saying good-bye.”
Rebecca completely agreed. Levi’s departure had been painful. Lukas had felt guilty, and she had been perplexed. But Amelia? Amelia had been crushed. They’d always been close, and Amelia took his leaving very personally.
“I think it was simply the last straw.”
“I can’t do anything about Levi. But I can help you.”
“Lukas, please stop worrying so much. I am fine.”
Narrowing his eyes, he shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Lukas—”
“Rebecca, how about this? How about I ask one of the women who works in the retail store to come work in here with you?”
“Such as?”
He thought for a moment. “How about Mercy? She’s awfully good at managing both numbers and people.”
Though Rebecca had been prepared to push aside any of his suggestions, that name drew her up short. Mercy was eighteen, smart as a whip, and as brash as a mockingbird. I
n a strange way, Mercy’s youth helped her more than another person’s experience might. Pretty much because she had no expectations or fear of failure. Instead of worrying about what might happen if she was disappointed, Mercy merely ran over everyone’s objections until she got her way. That pushiness was not a very good quality when making friends but it was excellent when sitting at the reception desk and dealing with all those men day after day.
In a rare show of patience, Lukas let her consider his choice. “Well?” he asked.
“You know what? I think Mercy would do great here.” She could actually feel her entire being lighten at the prospect of sharing some of her duties. “I wouldn’t have thought of her at first, but I think she would be a good fit.”
Lukas grinned. “I think so, too.”
“Do you think she’ll say yes?” Now that he’d mentioned the idea, she was already hoping it wouldn’t go away.
Lukas nodded. “I am sure she will. She doesn’t always get along with our retail customers but she gets along real well with our employees. I can promise you that Scott won’t be coming in here any longer and browbeating the receptionist to do his bidding.”
Rebecca giggled. “The first time he tries that with Mercy, she’s going to bite his head off.”
Lukas grinned. “Just like a Doberman.” Taking a breath, he turned serious again. “Rebecca, you know how much I like you here. You do a good job, but it’s more than that, too.”
She suddenly felt shy. “What is it?”
“When I walk out of Daed’s old office and see you here, I realize that it’s still our family’s company. Seeing you here helps me remember that I’m not alone.”
“You’re not alone, Luke. You’ve got more support here than you realize. Everyone is real proud of you.”
He shrugged. “Everyone just wants things to go on like they used to. I’m doing my best with that.”
“You’re doing more than that.” What her brother didn’t realize was that he was so capable and respected, no one would ever suggest that he didn’t have every right to run the company. The fact of the matter was that Lukas Kinsinger had always been Kinsinger Lumber. More so than her or Levi.
By making him their parents’ eldest son, God had created a perfect match. Lukas not only wanted to take over their family’s business, but he was also meant to do so. It hadn’t just been their parents who’d been proud of how easily he’d followed in his their father’s footsteps; they had all been proud of him.
“I’m glad I can help you, Lukas. I like feeling needed, and I like having a connection to our family’s business. I don’t ever want to give up being here completely, but I don’t think that working behind this desk is the future that the Lord intends for me.”
“I can understand you wanting to follow the Lord’s will. But, not to be mean . . . are you sure He wants you to be a teacher?”
She smiled at him so he would know that she wasn’t offended. “I don’t know if He wants me to be a teacher or not. Right now, I know I’m not too great at it. However, I do know that I like being around the kids. I like helping them. Right now I like helping Rachel. And even though I’m not trained to be a teacher and I’m making lots of mistakes, I like it, Lukas. I truly do.”
Understanding filled his expression. “Liking a job counts for a lot, I think.”
“Jah. I think so, too. The hours I’ve spent at school helping her have made me feel energized, not exhausted. I go home smiling instead of irritated.”
He nodded. “I’ll go talk to Mercy now. If she’s agreeable to the new job, I’ll send her up here. How about you train her for the rest of the week, then move to part time?”
“You would let me do that?” Although she was admittedly ready for a change, she’d never expected it would happen so quickly.
“I want you happy, Becky. Your happiness means a lot to me.”
“I want you happy, too. I don’t want to give you more stress than you’re already feeling.”
“I’ll be happy if I know that you’re happy. And I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to watching Mercy run roughshod over some of our more bossy employees.”
She laughed. “I’m almost going to feel sorry for them. Almost.”
“Just remember that if you change your mind, you can always go back to full time.”
“Danke, Luke.”
Looking completely sincere, he added, “But more importantly, you will always mean the world to me. No matter what happens with work or Darla or whomever you end up with. We’ll always have each other.”
“Jah. That’s what’s most important, Luke. Family is always most important.”
“Some days, it’s all we have.”
Those words couldn’t have been more true.
Chapter 5
Tuesday, August 18
The algebraic equation was giving Lilly fits. No matter how many times she went over it, she couldn’t figure out what to do with the missing variable. Eyeing the equation she’d copied down from the textbook she’d found at the library, she realized she was going to need to erase the figures she’d written and work through the whole thing again. One way or another, she was going to figure this out. She had to, so she could get to the harder problems she’d discovered in the back of the book.
After making sure that Mrs. Mast was still occupied with a group of little kids at the front of the classroom, Lilly pulled out her eraser and got to work.
“What are you doing?” Katie asked.
“Nothing.”
Ignoring her comment, her new friend leaned closer and peered at Lilly’s paper. “That ain’t our homework.”
“I know.” She covered it up with her palm. “It’s nothing. I was just playing around.”
Katie wrinkled her nose. “With a bunch of numbers and letters? You sure have a strange idea of fun.”
Embarrassed that she was doing algebra for fun, Lilly tried to laugh off her friend’s statement. “I know. I was just bored. Like I said, it wasn’t anything. What’s going on with you?”
Katie blushed. “Nothing.”
Lilly noticed that Katie didn’t have her homework out on her desk. “You better get your papers out. When Mrs. Mast gets done meeting with the little kids, she’s going to come this way and start collecting our work.”
“I don’t have it done.”
“Why not?”
“My daed put up a tire swing last night over our pond. Me and my brothers swung on it all evening. I was planning to do it after I got in bed but I fell asleep.”
Lilly had never not done her homework. However, she knew better than to say anything about that. Katie was like a lot of girls their age. When they got to be thirteen, they started caring less about school and more about what they’d be doing when they graduated.
Because of that, Lilly concentrated on Katie’s story. “Why did your daed put the swing over the pond?”
“So we could swing over the water and jump in, of course.” Her eyes glowed. “It’s so fun.”
“I bet.” It took some effort, but Lilly did her best to sound interested and not jealous. Katie had no idea how blessed she was to have parents and siblings. She only had grandparents and an uncle who couldn’t farm worth beans.
Of course, the moment that thought ran through her head, she felt guilty. From the moment she’d arrived in Charm, her grandparents and uncle had bent over backward to make her feel at home. They’d held her when she’d cried and talked about her mamm and daed for hours whenever she wanted. They’d also allowed her to have the space she needed to adjust.
Katie was all smiles now. “Have you ever done that?”
“Hmm?”
“Swung into the water. Have you done it?”
“Nee.” It sounded scary.
“You should come over one day and go swimming.” Looking concerned, she said, “You can swim, right?”
“I can swim.” Not very well, but she could float. And she could hold her breath under the water. She had a feeling that wasn�
��t near good enough to jump from a swing into deep water, however.
Katie looked relieved. “I’m only teasing ya. My parents said you came from Florida. I bet everyone practically grows up in the water there.”
“All of Florida isn’t next to water, you know.”
“I know that. But—”
“And that was my uncle who came from Florida. I’m from Berlin.”
“Oh, jah. Because your parents died.”
Unable to respond to that, Lilly nodded and stared back at her paper.
Peter Schlabach, who so far hadn’t said all that much to her, scowled at Katie. “Wow, Kate. You sure know how to pick the wrong thing to say.”
After peeking to make sure Mrs. Mast still wasn’t nearby, Katie glared at Peter. “Shut up, Peter.” Then, before he could volley an angry retort, she turned back to Lilly. “I’m sorry I said anything. I shouldn’t have brought up your parents.”
While Peter muttered something sarcastic under his breath, Lilly simply nodded. She knew her friend hadn’t intended to be mean. She was simply a blunt girl. It wasn’t her fault that Lilly felt embarrassed. She hated being different.
After fishing around in her desk, Katie stood up with a sigh. Then she walked to the back of the room to sharpen her pencil.
Lilly was just about to open up that textbook again when Peter slipped into Katie’s empty seat.
“Don’t pay her any mind,” he said quietly.
“It’s okay. It’s not her fault that I’m so sensitive.”
“Sure it is.” When she gaped at him, he smirked. “Believe me, Katie always says the wrong thing. She’s been that way her whole life. I tell you what, she’s really good at it, too.”
Even though she knew she shouldn’t, Lilly smiled. “Danke for that.”
“You live off of Route 557, right?”
“Jah. At my grandparents’ farm.”
“I live real close to you.” Staring at her intently, he lowered his voice. “Want to walk home together?”
Just as his question sunk in, Lilly noticed Katie returning to her seat and Mrs. Mast eyeing her and Peter curiously.
Lilly wasn’t sure why she did it, maybe she was simply trying to get him to move, but she nodded. It surely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that his brown eyes were framed by thick black eyelashes or that she felt like he didn’t notice anyone else in the world when he stared at her.
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